I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if 당신 do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With 상어 Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
더 많이 than 99% of 상어 attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if 당신 are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that 당신 can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person 다음 to 당신 with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as 당신 spot a shark- furiously stab the person 다음 to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as 당신 can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every 상어 has a theme song. If 당신 here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a 상어 has got you. At this late stage 당신 are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the 바닷가, 비치 do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With 상어 Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
더 많이 than 99% of 상어 attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if 당신 are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that 당신 can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person 다음 to 당신 with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as 당신 spot a shark- furiously stab the person 다음 to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as 당신 can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every 상어 has a theme song. If 당신 here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a 상어 has got you. At this late stage 당신 are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the 바닷가, 비치 do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
from the internet :)
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have 케샤 babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds 당신 of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his 바비 인형 girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his 집 adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he 답변 he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have 케샤 babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds 당신 of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his 바비 인형 girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his 집 adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he 답변 he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying 랜덤 things until u cry laughing
5. continue 읽기 this
6. Walk up to siblings and say 랜덤 things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on 페이스북 and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on 구글 look up 어치, 제이 leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add 랜덤 people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying 랜덤 things until u cry laughing
5. continue 읽기 this
6. Walk up to siblings and say 랜덤 things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on 페이스북 and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on 구글 look up 어치, 제이 leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add 랜덤 people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
okay, on my 5 completely 랜덤 things to do...
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as 당신 can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as 당신 can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend 당신 try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as 당신 can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as 당신 can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend 당신 try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
The 상단, 맨 위로 six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as 당신 have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command 또는 File Name" is about as informative as
"If 당신 don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as 당신 make a commitment to one, 당신 find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as 당신 have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command 또는 File Name" is about as informative as
"If 당신 don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as 당신 make a commitment to one, 당신 find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
1.everyone around 당신 has an attitude problem
2.your adding 초콜릿 chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything 당신 say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive 당신 crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and 당신 just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to 펀치 someone without a reason
12.if 당신 start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if 당신 were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give 당신 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so 당신 know*
2.your adding 초콜릿 chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything 당신 say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive 당신 crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and 당신 just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to 펀치 someone without a reason
12.if 당신 start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if 당신 were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give 당신 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so 당신 know*