I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if 당신 do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With 상어 Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
더 많이 than 99% of 상어 attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if 당신 are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that 당신 can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person 다음 to 당신 with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as 당신 spot a shark- furiously stab the person 다음 to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as 당신 can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every 상어 has a theme song. If 당신 here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a 상어 has got you. At this late stage 당신 are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the 바닷가, 비치 do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With 상어 Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
더 많이 than 99% of 상어 attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if 당신 are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that 당신 can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person 다음 to 당신 with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as 당신 spot a shark- furiously stab the person 다음 to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as 당신 can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every 상어 has a theme song. If 당신 here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a 상어 has got you. At this late stage 당신 are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the 바닷가, 비치 do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Im sorry if 당신 dont like me Im sorry if 당신 think I suck but most of all Im sorry, I dont give a fuck
Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who 당신 are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.
I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change 또는 be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.
If 당신 don't like my words, don't listen. If 당신 don't like my appearance, don't look. If 당신 don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.
Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. 당신 think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who 당신 are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.
I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change 또는 be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.
If 당신 don't like my words, don't listen. If 당신 don't like my appearance, don't look. If 당신 don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.
Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. 당신 think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Note; This song is based off of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic's very own Pinkie Pie's song, 'Giggle at the Ghostie'.
Come on, Fanpop, don't 당신 see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, 당신 gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
신고 the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave 당신 alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!
Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of 팬팝 and ze internetz. :3
Come on, Fanpop, don't 당신 see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, 당신 gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
신고 the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave 당신 alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!
Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of 팬팝 and ze internetz. :3
1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.
2) Every five 분 yell "The aliens are coming!"
3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time 당신 see it.
4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)
5) Announce that 당신 are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.
6) Call your house number and announce that 당신 are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure 당신 dont get a wrong number!!
7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.
8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."
9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
2) Every five 분 yell "The aliens are coming!"
3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time 당신 see it.
4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)
5) Announce that 당신 are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.
6) Call your house number and announce that 당신 are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure 당신 dont get a wrong number!!
7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.
8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."
9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
1.You abuse our 사랑 당신 lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we 사랑 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 사랑 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 사랑 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 또는 form.
6.Guys 당신 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 당신 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 사랑 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 당신 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
2.When we find the right guy we 사랑 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 사랑 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 사랑 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 또는 form.
6.Guys 당신 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 당신 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 사랑 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 당신 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just 읽기 some of the 터미네이터 인용구 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 일 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 당신 might get annoyed 의해 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 일 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 당신 might get annoyed 의해 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.