So let's say you're talking to your 프렌즈 and gesturing wildly, and because you're not paying attention, 당신 manage to honk some part of a passing stranger's anatomy that is traditionally covered 의해 underpants; spinning around to apologize, 당신 instead topple down a staircase and faceplant into a wedding cake, whereupon 당신 realize that your pants are unbuttoned. Would this be
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to 당신 또는
b.) a Tuesday?
Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward 당신 are.
Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if 당신 are still covered in wedding cake. All 당신 need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to 당신 in the past month.
•You start to tell a joke ("So this 오리 walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")
•Impossibly, someone 당신 have a crush on sits down to say hello to 당신 at lunch. 당신 have just crammed an entire 컵 케이크, 컵 케익, 컵 케 익 in your mouth.
•Walking down the street, 당신 gradually become aware that 당신 have no idea how to 그네, 스윙 your arms.
•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.
•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. 당신 panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.
•You spend far too much time on a text 또는 이메일 exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. 당신 promptly mis-send it to your mom.
•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.
•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults 당신 typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.
•Attempting to be fun, 당신 grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses 또는 face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.
•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. 당신 respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." 초 pass. Oh my goodness, 당신 think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible 답변 collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")
Tally up your points, one per situation.
0: Impossibly slick. Wow, 당신 are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.
1-2: Cool and composed. 당신 are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.
3-7: Ordinary. You're no 더 많이 또는 less awkward than the 다음 person, assuming the 다음 person is not Michael Cera.
8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.
11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. 당신 are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.
link
a.) the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to 당신 또는
b.) a Tuesday?
Everyone's awkward from time to time, but until now it's been impossible to determine, numerically, just how awkward 당신 are.
Well, this Awkwardness Test is as numerical as they get, because it has numbers, and it's hard to mess up, even if 당신 are still covered in wedding cake. All 당신 need to do is add a point if one of these situations has happened to 당신 in the past month.
•You start to tell a joke ("So this 오리 walks into a library..."). It turns out to be terribly inappropriate. ("Hey, my brother's in the hospital because of ducks!")
•Impossibly, someone 당신 have a crush on sits down to say hello to 당신 at lunch. 당신 have just crammed an entire 컵 케이크, 컵 케익, 컵 케 익 in your mouth.
•Walking down the street, 당신 gradually become aware that 당신 have no idea how to 그네, 스윙 your arms.
•You gleefully shoulder your way into a whispered conversation, expecting it to be about juicy gossip. It is about a dead grandma.
•Nobody is laughing at your hilarious story. 당신 panic and keep embellishing until it has killer bees in it.
•You spend far too much time on a text 또는 이메일 exactly flirty and suggestive enough to send to your new SO. 당신 promptly mis-send it to your mom.
•You rush around a blind corner and plow directly into someone cute. Sobbing is involved. Someone requires stitches.
•You text someone with the kind of casual joke-insults 당신 typically use with close friends. Your message is taken too sincerely.
•Attempting to be fun, 당신 grievously wound someone; e.g. your no-look behind-the-back pass breaks your best friend's glasses 또는 face. Add an additional point if your pass misses your friend and ricochets off a baby.
•"Hi, (Firstname!)" some good friend says to you. 당신 respond: "Oh, hey, ...uh...." 초 pass. Oh my goodness, 당신 think to yourself. Caitlin? Carl? Captain Crunch? I have absolutely no idea what this person's name is. (Add an additional point if all the possible 답변 collapse
together in your head and come out as something that could not possibly be a name, e.g. "Hi... Clourtleen?")
Tally up your points, one per situation.
0: Impossibly slick. Wow, 당신 are the smoothest person we know! AT LYING, PROBABLY.
1-2: Cool and composed. 당신 are the equivalent of putting on sunglasses and walking away in slow motion.
3-7: Ordinary. You're no 더 많이 또는 less awkward than the 다음 person, assuming the 다음 person is not Michael Cera.
8-10: Michael Cera. You're awkward enough that it has become endearing. Consider a film career.
11-12: Michael Cera tripping into a waiter carrying tray of pies. 당신 are the essence of bumbling awkwardness. Purchase good insurance immediately.
link
This prank doesn't need anything but a friend who understands dirty jokes and yourself.
You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...
By this point 당신 need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.
You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit 당신 in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...
The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!
-Ray
You: Okay, say the word 'addicted' every time I pause, alright?
Friend: Okay.
You: Money...
Friend: Addicted.
You: TV...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Candy...
Friend: Addicted.
You: Hitting people in the face with an iron...
Friend: ...addicted...
By this point 당신 need to come up with several different others to get them to barely even notice what they're "addicted" to.
You: Soda?
Friend: Addicted...
You: What hit 당신 in the face last night?
Friend: Addicted...
The look that will come over their face will be absolutely priceless.
Try it out!
-Ray
I run my fastest
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to 옮기기 forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.
Some people tell me 당신 can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't
The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.
Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The 더 많이 I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.
So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.
This is not mine‚ it was written 의해 Sara Nachtman
But still get beat.
I land on my head
When I should be on my feet.
I try to 옮기기 forward‚
But I am stuck in rewind.
Why do I keep at it?
I won't be left behind.
The harder I am thrown‚
The higher I bounce.
I give it my all‚
And that's all that counts.
In first place‚
Myself‚ I seldom find.
So I push to the limit-
I won't be left behind.
Some people tell me 당신 can't‚
Some say don't.
Some simply give up.
I reply‚ I won't
The power is here‚
Locked away in my mind.
My perserverance is my excellence‚
I won't be left behind.
Make the best of each moment‚
The future is soon the past.
The 더 많이 I tell myself this‚
The less I come in last.
Throughout my competitions‚
I've learned what winning is about.
A plain and clear lesson-
Giving up is the wasy way out.
So every night before I go to bed‚
I hope in a small way I have shined.
Tomorrow is a brand-new day‚
And I won't be left behind.
This is not mine‚ it was written 의해 Sara Nachtman