Whoa. Its the final battle already? It seems like this all started a week ago....which it did....so...yeah.
NOTE: I am a Twilight fan, so do not suggest that I think all Twilight 팬 are crazy. I also think HP is better than Twilight, though. Just a little.
NOTE:I like HP and T, I am not trying to make fun of either, I'm just having fun with some of the ideas.
NOTE: okay, I'm just putting this note in to build suspense.
NOTE: This is it. The big one. The end. The last one. The one and only. The awesome one. The one that is the end. The climatic one. The one that, if 당신 do not read, will send flying platypuses after you. Eggshells. Jump-start. Password? Octopus. The epic one.
The epic one will begin now...no, NOW....NOW....NOW........
-1-
"Edward! Lookie!" Bella called. Cedric turned around as his army dashed towards Hogwarts.
Bella was putting her middle finger and the finger 다음 to it 앞으로 onto her thumb. The remaining fingers she put in the air. "It's a llama!"
"Err...."
"Happy llama, sad llama, totally rad llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat mama llama- 물고기 FISH, MOOOORE FISH! Turtle, OOH, lion, unicorn peacock, rainbow!"
"Um..very nice, Bella." Cedric smiled at her. Her mind was an unsolvable mystery, like why 당신 can't help smiling when 당신 say 'squishy octopus.'
He looked away from Bella as she fainted, and stared down at his wand. Yes, soon he would resolve the fight that had started so many years ago, involving the captive on th 82nd floor of the marble tower.......
-2-
James, Teddy, Renesme, and Lily were sitting in the Room of Requirement, as Albus (or Al) stared, annoyed, at Carlisljacobsesmereneejasperalice (or Carly) for putting up so many posters. They covered every inch of wall, all of them depicting the Harry Potter characters, who talked worriedly to each other. Five Hermione's were talking to each other in a poster of Hogwarts, about house-elf prejudice.
BOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
The explosion knocked everyone to the ground and they all struggled to their feet.
"Only two people could have produced such a huge explosion that'd we'd feel it here," Al declared. "Rowling 또는 Meyer."
"But how is that-"
"When 당신 create a fictional world, 당신 have to see it in your mind. So, accidentaly, 당신 create yourself as a character."
BOOOOM!!!!!
Another explosion sent the worried group hurtling onto the carpeted ground.
"The battle has begun." Al said. "It's time for us to get into position in the Gryffindor tower."
-3-
The clouds were gray, some drops of cool rain fell onto the black marble tower as Meyer slowly arose out of the trapdoor, ready for Rowling. Little did Jo realize she had a secret weapon.....
"It's time..." Stephenie Meyer yelled above the inhuman howling of the wind. "For an EXTREME vampire duel!"
An extreme vampire duel is a vampire duel (fighting using reasonable arguments and evidence from text and past experience) with a twist. Whenever 당신 give a reason why your view is correct, a jet of light bursts out of your wand. The other person then gives a counterargument which then acts like a shield.
Meyer raised her wands, seeing the shadowy figure raise her wand. Her side of the debate? That Twilight was better than Harry Potter.
"TWILIGHT CHARACTERS ARE AMAZING LOOKING!" Stephenie Meyer yelled bravely. This was not her best reason, but it was a good one to start out with.
"LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHIING!" J.K yelled without hesitation. With an earth-shaking explosion, the beam of light exploded. A 샤워 of red sparks rained down, falling through the wispy, whirling, gray clouds. The fog rolled like an ocean ocean of darkness, and the red sparks shown like rubies. The battle had begun.
-4-
Harry felt each 벽 for a hidden door, as he'd done for hours that night. That night, he hadn't slept. He'd looked for handholds outside the window, nearly falling, tried to force the door, and attempted to find a weak spot in the floor. None had worked.
The door began to slowly 그네, 스윙 open. He expected Cedric, ready with his wand, about to coax the plans of the Harry Potter people out of him.
He gasped in mingled horror and suprise at the person he saw.
It was Jacob Black.
"Harry, listen. I'm not on their side anymore." Jacob tossed him his wand.
"Wha-why?"
"All the girls here are on Team Edward, the one girl who was on Team Jacob just protested fighting and was sent back....."
"Er....."
"Plus, I'll finally get back at Stephenie for making my character-"
The 다음 second, Jacob was crumpled up on the floor, eyes facing the cold ceiling. Harry dashed backwards. The murderer stepped icily into the room.
"Cedric how could you? Your own friend-"
"Not my friend anymore." He said cooly. "I'm afraid he made a bad deciscion......."
Cedric raised his wand. Harry suddenly realized it looked very familiar. He gasped. It was Voldemort's old wand.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
"EXPELLIARMUS!"
The two beams of light met, clashing in the middle. Cedric was gasping in fear- he didn't know what was happening as the pale lights zoomed around them like phantoms.
Harry saw the golden beads and concentrated on them, pushing them toward Cedric...
But Cedric must've realized something was going on and that he could not let the beads get to his side. Harry willed with all his might....
The specters zoomed out of the end of Cedric's wand. First came a man Harry didn't know, his hair jet black and eyes dark brown. "Get him Harry." The ghost said.
Then came James, sneering. "I hope 당신 lose, Cullen."
다음 came a small version of Edward Cullen. "Bring my body back." It said grimly. "Bring my body back to Burger King." Harry nodded slightly, and then Mini Edward began to sing in Bella's voice:
"I'M MINI EDWARD-"
"NO!!!" Cedric dropped his wand and Harry leapt out of the way of the blast of light which then fired out the window. The ghosts disappeared, and Cedric screeched "EXPELLIARMUS!" Harry's wand flew out of his hands out the window.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" The jet of light burst a chunk of 벽 open, a black chunk of rock hit into Cedric's hand and his wand was knocked onto the floor. Harry reached to grab it, but Cedric kicked it away. Again, Harry reached for it, but Cedric kicked him hard in the ribs and he skidded across the floor, slipping through the hole Cedric had made. He held onto the slab of black marble, in the middle of dense fog, as the battle raged below. A loud explosion shook the tower, and red sparks rained down like snowflakes. He heard Cedric walked over as he struggled, eighty-two stories above the battle raging below.
-5-
Hermione, Neville, Ron, and Ginny led the wizards out onto the battlefield. Something was wrong. They could feel the eyes watching them, but where were they?
"What's happening?" Neville whispered, holding his wand.
"They're coming. Be ready." Hermione whispered.
Then came an explosion so loud that they almost fell, some wizards had. Then, they appeared. The 팬 and the characters seemed to have the ability to turn invisible.....but how?
A thousand curses were fired in the direction of the fans, but some, it seemed, had the ability to shield themselves. Others, however, fell to the ground, stunned, immobilized, but never killed. Harry had made sure that everyone knew that no one was to be killed. Most everyone thought Harry was dead, 또는 at least tortured into oblivion like Frank and Alice Longbottom.
Then, another loud BOOM! shook the ground and the Twilighters surged forward. Some had odd abilities-some could make wizards fall to the ground, be obliviated, 또는 tortured. How was that possible? Screams of terror and sadistic 글리 rang in the air as red sparks showered down. Hermione cast a shield charm around herself and the wizards near her as a 팬 who caused people's arms to fall off drew near. Soon, they were surrounded completely 의해 the gigantic crowd of Twilighters.
"Why didn't WE bring the crazy Harry Potter fans?" Hermione mumbled.
-6-
Meanwhile, Carly, Teddy, James, Renesme, Al, and Lily were firing curses from the window of the Gryffindor common room. The Twilight 팬 and characters fell to the ground in suprise and terror.
Then, a Twilight fan, seeing them in the window, shot a bolt of light into the room. Stunned at the amazing power, Renesme was rooted to the spot- 초 later she began to screech as if knives were cutting her.
"RENESME!" Carly screeched, kneeling 의해 her sister.
"I need EDWARD!" Renesme screeched.
"Wh-what?" Carly asked, backing up.
"You hate him! YOU!" Renesme tried to push her out the window.
"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" Al yelled, and Renesme fell paralysed to the ground.
-7-
J.K. Rowling got her wand ready. "HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS HAVE FLAWS!" She cried. She needed to protect the Harry Potter characters, and a battle was the only way to do it. Little did Stephenie Meyer know, she had a secret weapon........
"BELLA IS CLUMSY!" Stephenie Meyer roared, but this shield barely helped, she was thrown backwards, almost falling into the whirling mist below.
Then, she cried:
"THERE'S 더 많이 사랑 IN TWILIGHT!"
J.K Rowling knew there was 사랑 in Harry Potter-lots of it. The whole theme was love. But she hesitated, and the blast hit her full-on. She was thrown backwards into a heavy crate, suddenly aware that she was about to black out. She tried to keep herself up, and another blast of red light zoomed by. She rolled out of the way, and the 나무 상자, 상자 exploded. Her wand was flung out of her hand. She had lost. It was all over.
-8-
Harry Potter stared into the eyes of Cedric Diggory, which were yellow with streaks of red. They were full of rage and icy fury. He was enjoying his moment of victory.
"Well, the battle should be over soon." He said. "You are no match for us....."
"We have magic! 당신 can't just..."
"Harry, did Stephenie Meyer ever finish 글쓰기 'Breaking Dawn?'"
"No." Harry's hand started to slip, and he descended two inches into the swirling nothingness. His glasses became covered in raindrops as he reached upwards.
"So that means she can still write WHATEVER she wants. She can change our powers. She can give others powers. She can simply write down that Twilight won the battle." Edward sneered. "It's going to happen any 분 now."
The tower shook, and Harry nearly fell as he heard a crash from the other tower. His 심장 skipped a beat. They were going to lose the battle....
No. He had to hold on.
"Crucio." Cedric's voice was high, cold, and cruel.
The pain shot through Harry, but he didn't let go.
Once, twice, three times, an unbearable pain of sorrow and loss. Then, he felt a hard pressure on his hands-Cedric was crushing his fingers. His bloody hand jerked back, he was holding on tight with his single hand. Then, came another boom and crack. It was all over.
-9-
Most of the wizards were on the ground, writhing in pain and terror. Hermione kept the shield charm on them, but it was wavering as the Twilight people closed in, banging against it. All of the people from the D.A. were in the middle, trying to keep the shield charm going. But it was weakening, and one twillight 팬 had burst through, only to fall, rigid as a board, to the ground.
Then another 팬 burst through the barrier, but Neville Longbottom was sent screaming to the ground before they could get the 팬 away. The shield charm was broken. They all rushed in.
It was all over.
-10-
As Edward was telling Harry Meyer's secret weapon, she was holding a pen and a sheet of paper. All she had to do was write "the twilight characters defeated the harry potter characters, the end" and it would all be done.
She took her pen and wrote in loopy writing: "the twilight characters..."
J.K. Rowling thought the ticking sound was the sound of her life ticking away. Tic....tic....tic... but wait. What was that sound?
She turned to see a puppet version of Snape behind the rubble of the crate. So that was what was inside.
"What is that mysterious ticking noise?"
He said in an extremely nasal voice. J.K. Rowling recognized him at once-a Harry Potter Puppet Pal.
"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."
"Um, excuse me...Snape?"
The puppet whirled around. "Yes?"
"Er...could I use that wand?"
"Why don't 당신 use Potter's? The troublemaker......"
"Severus?"
The puppet grumbled something and handed her a plush wand. Immediately, it turned into a wooden wand and full size, too. "Thanks, Severus."
Meanwhile, Stephenie Meyer was writing: The Twilight characters defeated the-
But a jet of red light shot through the paper and it burned. The fiery, magical, flame fluttered downward. But Meyer knew her plan would work, the twilight people were closing in on the wizards now, just look at the meager few that were left. They would be defeated soon.
"YOUR CHARACTERS WILL BE DEFEATED SOON!" Meyer bellowed. J.K Rowling didn't defend herself, and the bolt knocked her over.
"YOUR CHARACTERS WILLL GIVE UP!" Meyer shouted.
No light came out of the wand. She tapped it.
"You don't get it, do you?!" Rowling shouted. "False statements do nothing! I still have my secret weapon!"
J.K Rowling showed her a metal cauldron. Meyer stared at the contents. "NO! NOT....BODY GLITTER!" But it was too late-the glitter was now falling onto the Harry Potter characters.
With a sudden effort, J.K. Rowling stood up. "MY CHARACTERS WILL NEVER GIVE UP!" This blast of light lit the sky. It tore through the darkness like a silver 칼, 나이프 and the wisps of clouds became divided. The bolt was so strong, the whole other tower began to cave in.
-11-
As the tower caved in, the HP characters became aware that the Twilighters were no longer attacking. Hermione opened her eyes and saw the Twilight 팬 gazing at them in admiration and astonishment. "THEY'RE....THEY'RE....SPARKLY!!!" One cried, and most fainted. Gaining stength, all the wizards able started to 불, 화재 curses.
Then, a vampire quietly slipped behind George. Ron hit him with a spell. The vampire would have gotten George's ear-if he had had one.
They were winning. Twilight people were retreating. But there was a scream. Somewhere 의해 the tower was a scream. Someone was in the collapsing tower.
-12-
The burned parchment fluttered down 의해 Harry as Cedric got ready to stamp his foot down on his hand one 더 많이 time. He slid his hand out of the way, and all of a sudden, he heard an explosion louder than any he'd ever heard. The whole tower was collapsing.
He swung in through a hole beneath him, Cedric missed him again. He dashed out of this room as rock fell, missing him 의해 inches. he dashed to the stairway, leaping over gaps and dodging falling slabs of stone. He was suddenly aware Cedric was following him at an impossible speed. He leapt over a large stone and ducked under a falling rock.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Cedric cried. Why was he doing this? Harry wondered. He never did anything to him.....
"CRUCIO!" The extreme pain shot through him and he screamed, hitting the stone and falling a few steps. In his head, he saw everyone dead on the battlefield. Had everyone died? It would be his fault then, he shouldn't have wrote to Cedric......
He dashed down the spiral staircase, slipping and tripping, squeezing through slabs of stone, hearing that insane voice behind him...
He was so close, he could see the exit....
"AHHHHHHHH!" A large stone had fallen on Cedric. Harry glanced at the exit and at Cedric, writhing in pain and agony. What should he do? He didn't hesitate. He dashed over to Cedric, and pulled him out from under the rock.
"CRUCIO!" Cedric cried, and again, Harry fell to the floor as Cedric escaped into fresh air. Suddenly, a slab of stone fell onto his arm with the maimed hand, and he struggled painfully to free it. Another slab of stone began to fall as he wrenched his arm free, escaping into the fresh air.
-13-
"Harry!" Ginny cried, helping him up. "Harry, we've done it, they're leaving!"
Nothing made him happier than when he realized that all his 프렌즈 were there, alive and well. Suddenly, as they all arrived, they saw him. Cedric, holding a wand, standing 다음 to Bella.
"DO 당신 guys want to hear my 야마, 라마 song?" Asked Bella.
"Not now, Bella." Cedric said. "Now, they die." he pointed his wand at the group when.....
"FILTHY HALF-BREED!" A girly voice called, the 다음 초 Dolores Jane Umbridge was standing above Cedric as he struggled against invisible ropes. "HALF-MEN-HALF-SPARKLEPYRES-MUST-GO-TO-AZKABAN!"
"Er....nice job Umbridge..." Harry said.
"OOH! I'm a sparklepyre too!" Bella cried. 초 later, she was bound too.
And then the battle was over.
EPILOUGE
Harry retired from being an auror years later, and settled down to live a happy rest of his life with Ginny.
Hermione passed a law making it illegal to use crazy 팬 in battle.
Renesme's crazy condition was almost incurable-she never left St.Mungo's.
Carly 로스트 her powers because of the grief of the loss of her sister. She was oblivated and now lives with the auror, Spencer, and has a webshow called 'icarly.'"
Cedric and Bella served twenty years in Azkaban.
Mini Edward's pieces were returned to Burger King.
MEANWHILE.......
Far far away, an odd group of people were happily eating apples under the shady boughs of a tree.
"I have this odd feeling," Aslan the lion suddenly said, twitching his tail, "that we're missing something."
"What do 당신 mean?" Asked Sherlock Holmes.
"We're not missing anything." replied Frodo Baggins.
"Are you-"
"I'm positive." replied Luke Skywalker, and they all continue to eat their apples.
THE END
AWWWWWW! Its over! And Jacob died! And he was my 가장 좋아하는 Twilight character! BOO-HOO!
Well, before 당신 leave, I have some things to say.
1. For those of 당신 who think this was worthless, a quote from the "Amazing Race," said 의해 Brooke and Claire:
"We laughed our way around the world."
Man, is that an epic quote! It tells 당신 that laughter can 옮기기 mountains and can turn 고양이 into dogs. I hope I've made 당신 laugh. (:
2. Special thanks to anonymous friend "Leopleurodon" and anonymous friend "platypus" for giving me ideas.
3. Stephenie Meyer, for those who are wondering, survived unscathed and built another grand tower far far away. HP and Twilight never had another battle.
4. I've run out of things to say. ):
NOTE: I am a Twilight fan, so do not suggest that I think all Twilight 팬 are crazy. I also think HP is better than Twilight, though. Just a little.
NOTE:I like HP and T, I am not trying to make fun of either, I'm just having fun with some of the ideas.
NOTE: okay, I'm just putting this note in to build suspense.
NOTE: This is it. The big one. The end. The last one. The one and only. The awesome one. The one that is the end. The climatic one. The one that, if 당신 do not read, will send flying platypuses after you. Eggshells. Jump-start. Password? Octopus. The epic one.
The epic one will begin now...no, NOW....NOW....NOW........
-1-
"Edward! Lookie!" Bella called. Cedric turned around as his army dashed towards Hogwarts.
Bella was putting her middle finger and the finger 다음 to it 앞으로 onto her thumb. The remaining fingers she put in the air. "It's a llama!"
"Err...."
"Happy llama, sad llama, totally rad llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat mama llama- 물고기 FISH, MOOOORE FISH! Turtle, OOH, lion, unicorn peacock, rainbow!"
"Um..very nice, Bella." Cedric smiled at her. Her mind was an unsolvable mystery, like why 당신 can't help smiling when 당신 say 'squishy octopus.'
He looked away from Bella as she fainted, and stared down at his wand. Yes, soon he would resolve the fight that had started so many years ago, involving the captive on th 82nd floor of the marble tower.......
-2-
James, Teddy, Renesme, and Lily were sitting in the Room of Requirement, as Albus (or Al) stared, annoyed, at Carlisljacobsesmereneejasperalice (or Carly) for putting up so many posters. They covered every inch of wall, all of them depicting the Harry Potter characters, who talked worriedly to each other. Five Hermione's were talking to each other in a poster of Hogwarts, about house-elf prejudice.
BOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
The explosion knocked everyone to the ground and they all struggled to their feet.
"Only two people could have produced such a huge explosion that'd we'd feel it here," Al declared. "Rowling 또는 Meyer."
"But how is that-"
"When 당신 create a fictional world, 당신 have to see it in your mind. So, accidentaly, 당신 create yourself as a character."
BOOOOM!!!!!
Another explosion sent the worried group hurtling onto the carpeted ground.
"The battle has begun." Al said. "It's time for us to get into position in the Gryffindor tower."
-3-
The clouds were gray, some drops of cool rain fell onto the black marble tower as Meyer slowly arose out of the trapdoor, ready for Rowling. Little did Jo realize she had a secret weapon.....
"It's time..." Stephenie Meyer yelled above the inhuman howling of the wind. "For an EXTREME vampire duel!"
An extreme vampire duel is a vampire duel (fighting using reasonable arguments and evidence from text and past experience) with a twist. Whenever 당신 give a reason why your view is correct, a jet of light bursts out of your wand. The other person then gives a counterargument which then acts like a shield.
Meyer raised her wands, seeing the shadowy figure raise her wand. Her side of the debate? That Twilight was better than Harry Potter.
"TWILIGHT CHARACTERS ARE AMAZING LOOKING!" Stephenie Meyer yelled bravely. This was not her best reason, but it was a good one to start out with.
"LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHIING!" J.K yelled without hesitation. With an earth-shaking explosion, the beam of light exploded. A 샤워 of red sparks rained down, falling through the wispy, whirling, gray clouds. The fog rolled like an ocean ocean of darkness, and the red sparks shown like rubies. The battle had begun.
-4-
Harry felt each 벽 for a hidden door, as he'd done for hours that night. That night, he hadn't slept. He'd looked for handholds outside the window, nearly falling, tried to force the door, and attempted to find a weak spot in the floor. None had worked.
The door began to slowly 그네, 스윙 open. He expected Cedric, ready with his wand, about to coax the plans of the Harry Potter people out of him.
He gasped in mingled horror and suprise at the person he saw.
It was Jacob Black.
"Harry, listen. I'm not on their side anymore." Jacob tossed him his wand.
"Wha-why?"
"All the girls here are on Team Edward, the one girl who was on Team Jacob just protested fighting and was sent back....."
"Er....."
"Plus, I'll finally get back at Stephenie for making my character-"
The 다음 second, Jacob was crumpled up on the floor, eyes facing the cold ceiling. Harry dashed backwards. The murderer stepped icily into the room.
"Cedric how could you? Your own friend-"
"Not my friend anymore." He said cooly. "I'm afraid he made a bad deciscion......."
Cedric raised his wand. Harry suddenly realized it looked very familiar. He gasped. It was Voldemort's old wand.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
"EXPELLIARMUS!"
The two beams of light met, clashing in the middle. Cedric was gasping in fear- he didn't know what was happening as the pale lights zoomed around them like phantoms.
Harry saw the golden beads and concentrated on them, pushing them toward Cedric...
But Cedric must've realized something was going on and that he could not let the beads get to his side. Harry willed with all his might....
The specters zoomed out of the end of Cedric's wand. First came a man Harry didn't know, his hair jet black and eyes dark brown. "Get him Harry." The ghost said.
Then came James, sneering. "I hope 당신 lose, Cullen."
다음 came a small version of Edward Cullen. "Bring my body back." It said grimly. "Bring my body back to Burger King." Harry nodded slightly, and then Mini Edward began to sing in Bella's voice:
"I'M MINI EDWARD-"
"NO!!!" Cedric dropped his wand and Harry leapt out of the way of the blast of light which then fired out the window. The ghosts disappeared, and Cedric screeched "EXPELLIARMUS!" Harry's wand flew out of his hands out the window.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" The jet of light burst a chunk of 벽 open, a black chunk of rock hit into Cedric's hand and his wand was knocked onto the floor. Harry reached to grab it, but Cedric kicked it away. Again, Harry reached for it, but Cedric kicked him hard in the ribs and he skidded across the floor, slipping through the hole Cedric had made. He held onto the slab of black marble, in the middle of dense fog, as the battle raged below. A loud explosion shook the tower, and red sparks rained down like snowflakes. He heard Cedric walked over as he struggled, eighty-two stories above the battle raging below.
-5-
Hermione, Neville, Ron, and Ginny led the wizards out onto the battlefield. Something was wrong. They could feel the eyes watching them, but where were they?
"What's happening?" Neville whispered, holding his wand.
"They're coming. Be ready." Hermione whispered.
Then came an explosion so loud that they almost fell, some wizards had. Then, they appeared. The 팬 and the characters seemed to have the ability to turn invisible.....but how?
A thousand curses were fired in the direction of the fans, but some, it seemed, had the ability to shield themselves. Others, however, fell to the ground, stunned, immobilized, but never killed. Harry had made sure that everyone knew that no one was to be killed. Most everyone thought Harry was dead, 또는 at least tortured into oblivion like Frank and Alice Longbottom.
Then, another loud BOOM! shook the ground and the Twilighters surged forward. Some had odd abilities-some could make wizards fall to the ground, be obliviated, 또는 tortured. How was that possible? Screams of terror and sadistic 글리 rang in the air as red sparks showered down. Hermione cast a shield charm around herself and the wizards near her as a 팬 who caused people's arms to fall off drew near. Soon, they were surrounded completely 의해 the gigantic crowd of Twilighters.
"Why didn't WE bring the crazy Harry Potter fans?" Hermione mumbled.
-6-
Meanwhile, Carly, Teddy, James, Renesme, Al, and Lily were firing curses from the window of the Gryffindor common room. The Twilight 팬 and characters fell to the ground in suprise and terror.
Then, a Twilight fan, seeing them in the window, shot a bolt of light into the room. Stunned at the amazing power, Renesme was rooted to the spot- 초 later she began to screech as if knives were cutting her.
"RENESME!" Carly screeched, kneeling 의해 her sister.
"I need EDWARD!" Renesme screeched.
"Wh-what?" Carly asked, backing up.
"You hate him! YOU!" Renesme tried to push her out the window.
"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" Al yelled, and Renesme fell paralysed to the ground.
-7-
J.K. Rowling got her wand ready. "HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS HAVE FLAWS!" She cried. She needed to protect the Harry Potter characters, and a battle was the only way to do it. Little did Stephenie Meyer know, she had a secret weapon........
"BELLA IS CLUMSY!" Stephenie Meyer roared, but this shield barely helped, she was thrown backwards, almost falling into the whirling mist below.
Then, she cried:
"THERE'S 더 많이 사랑 IN TWILIGHT!"
J.K Rowling knew there was 사랑 in Harry Potter-lots of it. The whole theme was love. But she hesitated, and the blast hit her full-on. She was thrown backwards into a heavy crate, suddenly aware that she was about to black out. She tried to keep herself up, and another blast of red light zoomed by. She rolled out of the way, and the 나무 상자, 상자 exploded. Her wand was flung out of her hand. She had lost. It was all over.
-8-
Harry Potter stared into the eyes of Cedric Diggory, which were yellow with streaks of red. They were full of rage and icy fury. He was enjoying his moment of victory.
"Well, the battle should be over soon." He said. "You are no match for us....."
"We have magic! 당신 can't just..."
"Harry, did Stephenie Meyer ever finish 글쓰기 'Breaking Dawn?'"
"No." Harry's hand started to slip, and he descended two inches into the swirling nothingness. His glasses became covered in raindrops as he reached upwards.
"So that means she can still write WHATEVER she wants. She can change our powers. She can give others powers. She can simply write down that Twilight won the battle." Edward sneered. "It's going to happen any 분 now."
The tower shook, and Harry nearly fell as he heard a crash from the other tower. His 심장 skipped a beat. They were going to lose the battle....
No. He had to hold on.
"Crucio." Cedric's voice was high, cold, and cruel.
The pain shot through Harry, but he didn't let go.
Once, twice, three times, an unbearable pain of sorrow and loss. Then, he felt a hard pressure on his hands-Cedric was crushing his fingers. His bloody hand jerked back, he was holding on tight with his single hand. Then, came another boom and crack. It was all over.
-9-
Most of the wizards were on the ground, writhing in pain and terror. Hermione kept the shield charm on them, but it was wavering as the Twilight people closed in, banging against it. All of the people from the D.A. were in the middle, trying to keep the shield charm going. But it was weakening, and one twillight 팬 had burst through, only to fall, rigid as a board, to the ground.
Then another 팬 burst through the barrier, but Neville Longbottom was sent screaming to the ground before they could get the 팬 away. The shield charm was broken. They all rushed in.
It was all over.
-10-
As Edward was telling Harry Meyer's secret weapon, she was holding a pen and a sheet of paper. All she had to do was write "the twilight characters defeated the harry potter characters, the end" and it would all be done.
She took her pen and wrote in loopy writing: "the twilight characters..."
J.K. Rowling thought the ticking sound was the sound of her life ticking away. Tic....tic....tic... but wait. What was that sound?
She turned to see a puppet version of Snape behind the rubble of the crate. So that was what was inside.
"What is that mysterious ticking noise?"
He said in an extremely nasal voice. J.K. Rowling recognized him at once-a Harry Potter Puppet Pal.
"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape."
"Um, excuse me...Snape?"
The puppet whirled around. "Yes?"
"Er...could I use that wand?"
"Why don't 당신 use Potter's? The troublemaker......"
"Severus?"
The puppet grumbled something and handed her a plush wand. Immediately, it turned into a wooden wand and full size, too. "Thanks, Severus."
Meanwhile, Stephenie Meyer was writing: The Twilight characters defeated the-
But a jet of red light shot through the paper and it burned. The fiery, magical, flame fluttered downward. But Meyer knew her plan would work, the twilight people were closing in on the wizards now, just look at the meager few that were left. They would be defeated soon.
"YOUR CHARACTERS WILL BE DEFEATED SOON!" Meyer bellowed. J.K Rowling didn't defend herself, and the bolt knocked her over.
"YOUR CHARACTERS WILLL GIVE UP!" Meyer shouted.
No light came out of the wand. She tapped it.
"You don't get it, do you?!" Rowling shouted. "False statements do nothing! I still have my secret weapon!"
J.K Rowling showed her a metal cauldron. Meyer stared at the contents. "NO! NOT....BODY GLITTER!" But it was too late-the glitter was now falling onto the Harry Potter characters.
With a sudden effort, J.K. Rowling stood up. "MY CHARACTERS WILL NEVER GIVE UP!" This blast of light lit the sky. It tore through the darkness like a silver 칼, 나이프 and the wisps of clouds became divided. The bolt was so strong, the whole other tower began to cave in.
-11-
As the tower caved in, the HP characters became aware that the Twilighters were no longer attacking. Hermione opened her eyes and saw the Twilight 팬 gazing at them in admiration and astonishment. "THEY'RE....THEY'RE....SPARKLY!!!" One cried, and most fainted. Gaining stength, all the wizards able started to 불, 화재 curses.
Then, a vampire quietly slipped behind George. Ron hit him with a spell. The vampire would have gotten George's ear-if he had had one.
They were winning. Twilight people were retreating. But there was a scream. Somewhere 의해 the tower was a scream. Someone was in the collapsing tower.
-12-
The burned parchment fluttered down 의해 Harry as Cedric got ready to stamp his foot down on his hand one 더 많이 time. He slid his hand out of the way, and all of a sudden, he heard an explosion louder than any he'd ever heard. The whole tower was collapsing.
He swung in through a hole beneath him, Cedric missed him again. He dashed out of this room as rock fell, missing him 의해 inches. he dashed to the stairway, leaping over gaps and dodging falling slabs of stone. He was suddenly aware Cedric was following him at an impossible speed. He leapt over a large stone and ducked under a falling rock.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Cedric cried. Why was he doing this? Harry wondered. He never did anything to him.....
"CRUCIO!" The extreme pain shot through him and he screamed, hitting the stone and falling a few steps. In his head, he saw everyone dead on the battlefield. Had everyone died? It would be his fault then, he shouldn't have wrote to Cedric......
He dashed down the spiral staircase, slipping and tripping, squeezing through slabs of stone, hearing that insane voice behind him...
He was so close, he could see the exit....
"AHHHHHHHH!" A large stone had fallen on Cedric. Harry glanced at the exit and at Cedric, writhing in pain and agony. What should he do? He didn't hesitate. He dashed over to Cedric, and pulled him out from under the rock.
"CRUCIO!" Cedric cried, and again, Harry fell to the floor as Cedric escaped into fresh air. Suddenly, a slab of stone fell onto his arm with the maimed hand, and he struggled painfully to free it. Another slab of stone began to fall as he wrenched his arm free, escaping into the fresh air.
-13-
"Harry!" Ginny cried, helping him up. "Harry, we've done it, they're leaving!"
Nothing made him happier than when he realized that all his 프렌즈 were there, alive and well. Suddenly, as they all arrived, they saw him. Cedric, holding a wand, standing 다음 to Bella.
"DO 당신 guys want to hear my 야마, 라마 song?" Asked Bella.
"Not now, Bella." Cedric said. "Now, they die." he pointed his wand at the group when.....
"FILTHY HALF-BREED!" A girly voice called, the 다음 초 Dolores Jane Umbridge was standing above Cedric as he struggled against invisible ropes. "HALF-MEN-HALF-SPARKLEPYRES-MUST-GO-TO-AZKABAN!"
"Er....nice job Umbridge..." Harry said.
"OOH! I'm a sparklepyre too!" Bella cried. 초 later, she was bound too.
And then the battle was over.
EPILOUGE
Harry retired from being an auror years later, and settled down to live a happy rest of his life with Ginny.
Hermione passed a law making it illegal to use crazy 팬 in battle.
Renesme's crazy condition was almost incurable-she never left St.Mungo's.
Carly 로스트 her powers because of the grief of the loss of her sister. She was oblivated and now lives with the auror, Spencer, and has a webshow called 'icarly.'"
Cedric and Bella served twenty years in Azkaban.
Mini Edward's pieces were returned to Burger King.
MEANWHILE.......
Far far away, an odd group of people were happily eating apples under the shady boughs of a tree.
"I have this odd feeling," Aslan the lion suddenly said, twitching his tail, "that we're missing something."
"What do 당신 mean?" Asked Sherlock Holmes.
"We're not missing anything." replied Frodo Baggins.
"Are you-"
"I'm positive." replied Luke Skywalker, and they all continue to eat their apples.
THE END
AWWWWWW! Its over! And Jacob died! And he was my 가장 좋아하는 Twilight character! BOO-HOO!
Well, before 당신 leave, I have some things to say.
1. For those of 당신 who think this was worthless, a quote from the "Amazing Race," said 의해 Brooke and Claire:
"We laughed our way around the world."
Man, is that an epic quote! It tells 당신 that laughter can 옮기기 mountains and can turn 고양이 into dogs. I hope I've made 당신 laugh. (:
2. Special thanks to anonymous friend "Leopleurodon" and anonymous friend "platypus" for giving me ideas.
3. Stephenie Meyer, for those who are wondering, survived unscathed and built another grand tower far far away. HP and Twilight never had another battle.
4. I've run out of things to say. ):
