WARNING This 기사 might be quite offensive to twilight, so if you're a 팬 of twilight (especially if you're one of these crazy fangirls) please do not waste your time to read this and comment. I know there's no point of me telling 당신 this because you'll read and 코멘트 anyways, but at least I tried.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' 사랑 leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like 당신 did.
Edward, 당신 think you're hot when 당신 sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in 사랑 with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of 당신 to fall in 사랑 with someone who is five 분 old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because 당신 fell in 사랑 with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, 당신 call yourself and your clan vampires? 당신 guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of 당신 not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, 당신 barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think 당신 should pay 더 많이 attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than 퀸 Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, 당신 think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your 나귀, 엉덩이 on 불, 화재 in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, 당신 do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, 당신 have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than 당신 in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave 당신 an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for 당신 kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a show off as Edward. 당신 think you're so pretty and all? Well 당신 know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked 당신 for is that 당신 used to hate Bella. But yet again, 당신 USED to hate Bella, 당신 don't anymore so I don't like 당신 at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for 당신 Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if 당신 ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but 당신 didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy 곰 reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think 당신 have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get 인기 and cool 의해 organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if 당신 think you're cool you're wrong. I can call 프레드 and George and make 당신 guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If 당신 have any 더 많이 additions, feel free to tell me in the 코멘트 and I'll add them to the letter.
Dear characters of twilight,
Bella, please get a life. When peoples' 사랑 leave them, they try to stay strong and keep fighting for what is worth it like Hermione did. They do not curl up in the fetal position and go numb for weeks like 당신 did.
Edward, 당신 think you're hot when 당신 sparkle? Well you're not. And your taste in women is reckless. Who falls in 사랑 with someone who can barley put two words together? Plus, who the hell is so dumb to change from a really cool character (Cedric) to such a loser (Edward)?
Jacob, it was so so SO dumb of 당신 to fall in 사랑 with someone who is five 분 old. And your choice of women is reckless as well because 당신 fell in 사랑 with the same chick the other jerk, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Edward.
Carlisle, 당신 call yourself and your clan vampires? 당신 guys don't even come close to mosquitoes who drink only a drop of human blood. Yeah, that's so smart of 당신 not drinking human blood. If a vampire drinks he drinks human blood, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FREAKING KNOWN FOR!!
Esme, 당신 barley even talk in the whole series!! I thought the mom is suppose to be a big part of all this. I think 당신 should pay 더 많이 attention to Molly Weasley to know what a real mom is.
James, Please stop trying to talk posher than 퀸 Elizabeth. No one talks like that and it's not cool at all. And you're seriously comparing yourself to Voldemort? Seriously? Oh God if he heard this he would be so embarrassed.... oh wait... villains don't get embarrassed unlike somebody here.
Victoria, 당신 think you're so cool an badass huh? Well lets call Bellatrix and see how badass you'll be then! Yeah I'll bet she'll be having your 나귀, 엉덩이 on 불, 화재 in a matter of seconds!
Renesmee, 당신 do not believe how sorry I feel for you. First, 당신 have an incredibly dumb sparkling mom, a huge show-off sparkling dad, and a psycho werewolf boyfriend that is older than 당신 in like what? 18 years? Second, your dumb mom gave 당신 an even dumber name. Renesmee Carlie Cullen. What a shame.... I feel really sorry for 당신 kid.
Rosalie, you're just as much as a show off as Edward. 당신 think you're so pretty and all? Well 당신 know what I think? I think Lord Voldemort is prettier than you! And he's bald and doesn't have a nose! The only thing I ever liked 당신 for is that 당신 used to hate Bella. But yet again, 당신 USED to hate Bella, 당신 don't anymore so I don't like 당신 at all.
Jasper, Good Job imitating Harry on the messy hair, too bad it didn't work. And good for 당신 Harry never saw it, he would pass out. Though if 당신 ate Bella in New Moon he would actually like you, but 당신 didn't so HA!
Emmett, What can I say here? Your whole Teddy 곰 reputation is getting boring. So don't even try, no one will ever be as big, awesome and cuddly as Hagrid.
Alice, I think 당신 have to take lessons from Trelawney to learn how to see the future, at least she can predict exactly what would happen and not just possibilities. And stop trying to get 인기 and cool 의해 organizing parties and all, because that's realy getting stupid.
Aro, if you're an evil vampire, no if you're even a vampire I'm Ron's Quidditch hat!! Nuf said
Jane, if 당신 think you're cool you're wrong. I can call 프레드 and George and make 당신 guys compete. And don't even try to use your powers because they're not dumb not to put some spell that blocks that.
Regards, a Harry Potter fan
If 당신 have any 더 많이 additions, feel free to tell me in the 코멘트 and I'll add them to the letter.
