Danny’s P.O.V.

Seeing all of these people with kids 또는 about to have kids was really getting me down. I mean, shit. It wasn’t fair. I have always wanted a son 또는 daughter of my own. But, I can’t leave Timothy. I 사랑 him with all of my heart.
When we got back home, I helped him unload the groceries from his car and carried them in. I guess I still looked pretty sad because after we put the groceries away, Timothy led me to the 침상, 소파 and sat 다음 to me.
“Alright,” he said, with much concern. “what’s bugging you?”
I couldn’t ask him NOW. He might get…serious and then leave me…No, I can’t ask him. “N-Nothing, Timothy. Don’t worry.”
He squeezed my hand. “Daniel, tell me what’s wrong. I hate seeing 당신 sad and I won’t stand for it. Please, 당신 can tell me anything.”
Fine. “Um…well, I want a kid…”
Timothy blushed. “I-I know…but…we can adopt maybe in a couple months 또는 something…”
I shut my eyes. “No, Timothy. Not adopt.”
I could feel his eyes open in shock. “But, Danny, how? That’s not possible…”
“It is. But…we would have to find…maybe…a lesbian couple who would be willing to…maybe…ya know…” I opened my eyes and looked at him.
He looked at me wide eyed. “Are 당신 sure 당신 want to do that?”
“Do you? I mean, this isn’t about what I want, Timothy.” I grabbed his hands. “Its about what we both want.”
He bit his lip like the little sexy boy he is. “I don’t know, Danny. This would be a big step for us. I don’t know if I’m ready to be a father…”
“I understand, Timothy. I’m not trying to rush you. It was just an idea.”
“Okay.” He sighed. “Let’s have dinner, shall we?”
“I’ll cook. I know how to make a really good 파스타 dish. 파스타 Puttanesca.”
He smiled. “PASTAAAA!”
I chuckled. “Oh god. I 사랑 you, babe.”
He laughed and pulled me into a kiss.
We ended up 키싱 for awhile. Just as I was about to stick my tongue in his mouth, he pulled away. “What? That’s not fair!”
Timothy chuckled. “No, I know it’s not. But we can’t always be 연기 like a bunch of wild horny kids.”
“But,” I said, pulling him to myself, “We aren’t kids. 당신 are almost 30. ;3. So, technically, we can be as wild as we want…”
He blushed before he turned away. “Yeah, yeah. Just make your dish and I’ll think about it. Crazy boy.” He smacked my cheek softly and pranced off to the living room to watch TV. Damn. What a tease.
I prepared the Puttanesca. It isn’t a hard meal. It’s only about 5 분 preparation. About 15 분 to cook. “Timothy?” I called, “It’s time to eat!”
Timothy got up and came to the kitchen. “It smells delicious. Thanks for dinner, Danny. I really appreciate it.”
“It’s no big deal.” I smiled at him. “I just wanted to say thank 당신 for everything 당신 do.”
He smiled at his plate and started to eat. Man, it must have been good. Timothy was almost already done with it before I even started.
“Timothy? Were 당신 hungry?”
“Hm…” he looked at his empty plate. “A little. :D. Can I have more?”
“Sure! ^-^. Help yourself.” I said. I’m glad that he likes the dish. I 사랑 it.
Timothy got up and served himself some 더 많이 pasta. “This is really good, Danny! Where did 당신 learn to make it?”
“It was my grandmother’s recipe. She taught it to me and I guess I always remembered it. I used to cook it for her when she was in a bad mood. It would cheer her right up.” I found myself looking at my plate.
“I bet 당신 really miss her, huh Dan? I miss her. She was a very kind-hearted woman.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I miss her a lot.” She was so nice and she cared for me 더 많이 than my parents ever did.
He hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry. I’m here for you…”
“I know. That’s why I 사랑 you.” I ate some 더 많이 pasta. It was almost gone because when I get nervous 또는 sad, I eat like no other. “Look,” I said, finishing my pasta, “I think I am going to her grave tomorrow…I know that 당신 don’t probably want to go…and 당신 don’t have to. I just want to go see her…”
Timothy’s facial expression turned shocked. “Of course I want to go! I loved her like a mother. And since we are together, I want to be there with you, okay?”
I smiled and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you. It means a lot.”
“It’s no problem. I want to go get some stuff from my apartment. I’ll be back in like an hour, okay Danny?”
“Oh.” I said, looking at him sadly. “Okay. Hurry home…please.”
He smiled at me. “I will.” He kissed me and sprinted out to his car. I 사랑 how he looks in that little car. It just looks so adorable. I had a 70’s Camaro in my garage, but it needed work. I guess I could start working on it since I have nothing else to do.
I went into the 차고 and flipped on the light switch. The damn car is uglier than I remembered. It wouldn’t ever start and the seats were in horrible shape. I guess this is what is expected for a 1,200 dollar car.
Peering into the car, I saw so many problems. I mean, this thing was a piece of shit.
I opened the door and started tearing out the seats. It wasn’t very hard to do because they were so old. And they smelled really weird. I shivered and continued to tear them out. I couldn’t believe how nasty these things were.
“Alright,” I thought, “now that I have this shit out, where do I start…? Hm…I guess I should start under the hood…”
I opened the 후드 and my god. I reeked of a dead 쥐, 마우스 또는 쥐 또는 something. “Shit.” I said, turning away, “This needs to air out. And until then…” I peered around. The fridge. We forgot to clear out the 차고 fridge of liquor…
Slowly, I walked to the fridge and opened it.
My 가장 좋아하는 bottle of 버번, 부르봉 왕가 was in there…
“Just a sip,” I thought, “Timothy doesn’t have to know…”
I opened the bottle and drank a sip. “Oh god…I’ve missed you…” I kept drinking.
“I can’t stop.” I thought, “I’m going to die if I don’t stop…”
I didn’t stop. I kept drinking bottle after bottle.
After finishing the last bottle in the fridge, I stumbled inside to the couch. I had a throbbing headache and I knew I was totally buzzed. I couldn’t help it…I needed something to drink.
“I want a smoke,” I said to myself. “I need my marijuana.”
I found myself getting up and walking to my drawer. There was a whole stash there.
Lighting up felt good. The smell of it lingered in my mind and it gave me an unusual euphoria. Nobody could ever take this away from me. I wanted this smell every day.
After finishing, I laid back down on the couch. My headache was even worse now and I could feel myself getting sick.
Timothy came 집 a few 분 later and opened the door with caution. He sniffed the air and looked at me in disbelief. “Danny…I can’t believe you…”
This wasn’t going to be good. I was also buzzed so this was going to be twice as bad. “I-I’m sorry…” I got off the 침상, 소파 and staggered toward him. “Th-The fridge in the 차고 had…stuff in it. A-A-And…” I felt the vomit coming up. I sprinted to the bathroom, with him following after me.
I puked 더 많이 than I normally did. I was used to it but every time made me shake worse than I did the last time.
Timothy ran to my side and pulled my hair back. “Danny, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left 당신 alone. I won’t do it again. I need 당신 to go through your drawers and empty them of the Marijuana. I mean it, Danny. 당신 need to change.”
As much as I knew he was right, I had no faith in myself to change. I didn’t think it was at all possible. “Timothy…” I said, shaking horribly.
His voice sounded shaky. “What?”
“I need you…Please…don’t be mad at me…”
“I-I won’t. Just promise me that you’ll try harder…”
I started crying. “I promise…I’m sorry…” This made me look weak, but I didn’t want to lose him again. I’ve said this a million times, and I’ll say it again, but I NEED TIMOTHY.
Timothy hugged me and took my hand. “Come on,” he said, “Let’s go get ready for bed.”
I followed him upstairs and stripped out of my skinnies and my shirt.
Timothy crawled 다음 to me and we fell asleep.
The warmth of 사랑 was with me forever since that moment. <3.



코멘트 c:.