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posted by milorox18
1. When 당신 get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why 당신 were speeding, tell him 당신 wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend 당신 are deaf.

4. If he asks if 당신 knew how fast 당신 were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if 당신 can see his gun.

6. When he says 당신 aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why 당신 were speeding, tell him 당신 had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him 의해 his first name.

11. Pretend 당신 are gay...
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posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All 당신 Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's 심장 is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. 당신 are going to fail the class completely no matter what 당신 get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read 질문 aloud, 토론 your 답변 with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure 당신 can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five 분 into it, loudly say to the...
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posted by slytherin360
Found this on the net:

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of 당신 just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your 서류 가방 또는 purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name 태그 to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they...
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Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have 당신 ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man 다음 to me!
I puked on the last person who flew 다음 to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would 당신 look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....
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added by loonybug
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added by SylarNight
Source: made 의해 SylarNight
David Cage, the creator of many famous games of the recent era. A man who is said to be one of the most creative minds in gaming right now. And yet, no matter who 당신 ask, there is only two opinions on this guy. There’s the people who like David Cage and then there are the people who don’t. And I’m one of the people who don’t. Welcome to an episode of Content Cuck. And this is the David Cage and Quantic Dream rant article. I’m here to discuss all the flaws of every Quantic Dream game, yes, all five of them, and talk about the flaws of David Cage, from the self centered behavior to...
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added by BlindBandit92
It was the 년 2009, a young couple of nobodies arrived on the scene and one of those nobodies was a man 의해 the name of Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino. I knew when I first saw him that I WASN'T gonna like him and sure enough I didn't. He had a bad reputation from the moment they showed him and it just kept getting worse. Not only that but he's a selfish, self-centered, ego driven guy that cares to much about his abs then he does people. When he signed up for Dancing with the stars It made me hate him even 더 많이 because he cared too much about his show to even get in a 일 of training done. To add even 더 많이 fuel to the 불, 화재 he SHOULD of been sent 집 first but u people saved him for basically no reason whatsoever.
added by taismo723
I made this video, and this is just what would happen when my brother ran across our yard. LOL
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stupid
added by ppgcowgirl
Source: Tumblr
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added by randomgirl3000
Source: tumblr
added by simpleplan
Source: http://becauseofdoctorwho.tumblr.com/
added by loonybug