Haters gonna hate

There used to be a 거리 named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle 당신 with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then 당신 can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the 맥주 gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

In a pub 퀴즈 the other 일 I 로스트 의해 one point. The 질문 was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other 질문 was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that 사과, 애플 has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing 샵 that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some 마리화나 담배, 폭격기 jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly 인기 with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming 더 많이 common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us 의해 our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service 책상, 데스크 and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid 또는 a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

1. Every 일 at school is the same
2. 당신 never know if your braids look digusting 또는 not
3. 당신 are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. 당신 would like to think that people notice 또는 even think about 당신 but 당신 are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows 또는 cares about
5. 당신 worry people will write nasty 코멘트 on your 팬팝 기사 that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all 당신 do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When 당신 only really have like 3 프렌즈 at school and 2 of them...

The show SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The show SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed 의해 a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine 분 of the show may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob 또는 Caillou, in which 이미지 change 더 많이 slowly, 또는 to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...

I'm putting two funny 기사 together in one, hope 당신 enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I 사랑 deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would 당신 know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what 당신 need, and I'll tell you...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy 곰 on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some 음식 while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the 부엌, 주방 and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the 부엌, 주방 was when Tina got 집 she saw what the 부엌, 주방 was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their 집 the Teddy 곰 was hiding in the 부엌, 주방 cupboard as it chuckled...

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 분 power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course 당신 sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the 상단, 맨 위로 off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are 당신 discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, 초 i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her 벨트 serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got 집 my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started 읽기 it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 초 later i hear my mother scream off the 상단, 맨 위로 of her lungs LILLY GET 당신 BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she said uuummm my homework...

..... 랜덤 Facts .....

If 당신 have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, 당신 have $1.19. 당신 also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the 링컨 Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest 랜덤 speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

Barbra Streisand

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Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
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Barbra Streisand

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oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
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Barbra Streisand

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oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids 의해 their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and 지르 in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. 지르 simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....