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posted by montgomeryraina
got this off a website :)

1. I'm so goth, I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the 상단, 맨 위로 of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.

2. I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.

3. I'm so goth my name is "Tattoo" and I was on 판타지 Island.

4. I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.

5. I 'm so goth I use black cotton balls.

6. I'm so goth I dyed my shadow black.

7. I'm so goth I dyed my belly button black.

8. I'm so goth my pupils are black.

9. I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."

10. I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.

11. I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.

12. I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.

13. I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm goth!"

14. I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.

15. I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.

16. I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.

17. I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.

18. I'm so goth I write everything on black paper with a black pen in the dark and can never read what the hell I've written!

19. I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."

20. I'm so goth I make Richard Simmons sad.

21. I'm so goth I steal your Happy Meal.

22. I'm so goth I offered to sell my soul to the devil and he wouldn't take it!

23. I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are 당신 so happy about?"

24. I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.

25. I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.

26. I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW. What's a smile?

27. I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"

28. I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud 당신 in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."

29. I'm so goth I'm a mime.

30. I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.

31. I'm so goth I'm shocked 의해 heterosexuality.

32. I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.

33. I'm so goth I'm the only REAL goth.

34. I'm so goth I have rigor mortis whenever I'm with my girlfriend.

35. I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.

36. I'm so goth I killed myself . . . twice.

37. I'm so goth a little rain 구름, 클라우드 follows me wherever I go and rains on me.

38. I'm so goth I AM the rain cloud.

39. I'm so goth I'm 더 많이 goth than anyone else.

40. I'm so goth my diapers were pvc.

41. I'm so goth I got my medulla oblongata pierced.

42. I'm so goth I got my mom pierced.

43. I'm so goth I pierced all my tattoos.

44. I'm so goth it takes me an 시간 and a half to get dressed.

45. I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.

46. I'm so goth I'm dead.

47. I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.

48. I'm so goth I carry black 음식 dye around in case I have to eat anything that's not black.

49. I'm so goth I look like Michael Jackson.

50. I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."

51. I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."

52. I'm so goth my mom is a ninja.

53. I'm so goth all ninjas are my mom.

54. I'm so goth, as soon as I was born I put eyeliner on. And I put on too much.

55. I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.

56. I'm so goth I think 예수님 might have been a vampire.

57. I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.

58. I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's 칼라 would look better on me.

59. I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's 칼라 looks better on me.

60. I'm so goth I 스톨, 훔친 my dog's collar.

61. I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.

62. I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.

63. I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized 의해 my appearance.

64. I'm so goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized 의해 my appearance.

65. I'me soe gothe ie thinke puttinge e'se one thee endse ofe mye wordse ise medaevale ande deepe.

66. I'm so goth I've been banned.

67. I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! flibbaflobba!!!"

68. I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be 더 많이 goth.

69. I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.

70. I'm so goth I make 꽃 wilt.

71. I'm so goth I like them better that way.

72. I'm so goth I punched a care bear.

73. I'm so goth I think saying "oh my goth" is cute.

74. I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.

75. I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers 십자가, 크로스 the 거리 to insult me.

76. I'm so goth I keep getting hit on 의해 necrophiliacs!

77. I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.

78. I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.

79. I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.

80. I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!

81. I'm so goth I pierced both my nipples--does that shock you?--then I went to the genetic engineering lab and had my genetic structure altered to grow another nipple, then I had THAT one pierced.

82. I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.

83. I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, 당신 hear "Toccata and fugue in D minor."

84. I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded 의해 candles & and oh, there's a full moon & and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again & tragically.

85. I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."

86. I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.

87. I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.

88. I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.

89. I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for.

90. I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.

91. I'm so goth I wear pvc pajamas.

92. I'm so goth I'm catholic.

93. I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look 냉각기 in black than them.

94. I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.

95. I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth."

96. I'm so goth all I do is sit around and talk about how goth I am.

97. I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got."

98. I'm so goth every sentence I say has the word "goth" in it.



And finally...

99. I'm so goth I'm the only person who understands what goth REALLY is, and I'm not telling you!
added by alizoula
posted by akatsuki_lover9
Ways to Annoy:
1.say a 랜덤 word for no reason all the time.
2.put spicy stuff in a 음식 they like.
3.make a loud farting noise from your mouth and say "uh oh, i sharted."
4.make a farting noise from your mouth and blame it on the guy 다음 to you.
5.go to a drive thru, get your face right up to the speaker and yell as loud as 당신 can.
6.make a REALLY annoying noise all the time.
7.Write using only crayons, markers and paint.
8.When guests are at your house go into the 부엌, 주방 and come out with ketchup all over 당신 and say "THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" a bunch of times.
9.in school if there's a problem...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope 당신 like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when 당신 heard someone talking on the intercom, 당신 fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give 당신 a ride 집 and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a 버섯 and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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1. Don't EVER tell us to CALM DOWN when we're angry. We hate that, and it often makes the situation worse.
2. Don't act like 당신 know what you're talking about when 당신 don't. It just pisses us off.
3. Don't treat us badly and with disrespect.
4. Don't give us commands like we're some kind of dog. We're your equal and should be treated as such.
5. Sure, you're the guy, so 당신 can act like you're the stronger one... Whatever... But, don't EVER act like you're the head of the house. Relationships are to be an equal situation.
6. Don't yell at us when we do something wrong.
7. When 당신 screw up, don't...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Researchers in the UK examined 더 많이 than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A 봉인, 인감 walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner 샵 - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell 당신 what I 사랑 doing 더 많이 than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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posted by milorox18
1. When 당신 get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”

2. When he asks why 당신 were speeding, tell him 당신 wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend 당신 are deaf.

4. If he asks if 당신 knew how fast 당신 were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……

5. Ask if 당신 can see his gun.

6. When he says 당신 aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why 당신 were speeding, tell him 당신 had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him 의해 his first name.

11. Pretend 당신 are gay...
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posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All 당신 Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's 심장 is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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found this on the net:

18 Fun Things To Do In A Final That Does Not Matter (i.e. 당신 are going to fail the class completely no matter what 당신 get on the final exam)

1) Get the copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

2) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read 질문 aloud, 토론 your 답변 with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure 당신 can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3) Bring cheerleaders.

4) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five 분 into it, loudly say to the...
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posted by slytherin360
Found this on the net:

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of 당신 just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your 서류 가방 또는 purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name 태그 to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they...
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Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
I work for the IRS.
Have 당신 ever tried cat meat?
I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man 다음 to me!
I puked on the last person who flew 다음 to me.
My butt reeeally itches!
Would 당신 look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator....
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by RoohWinchester
Source: 구글
added by SylarNight
Source: made 의해 SylarNight
posted by KataraLover
As many of 당신 are aware, I absolutely ADORE Wicked and I'm so excited about the movie adaptation that is just taking FOREVER to be made, even before the pandemic came along. So, like many people, I just keep wanting them to make some casting announcements for the movie already and have been making my own fan-cast for the movie, even making a video of my fan-cast. However, I felt like taking the time to explain my casting choices so everyone knows why I made my choices. I will provide my fan-cast video at the end, so 당신 can hear the vocal capabilities. Please keep in mind that this is just...
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David Cage, the creator of many famous games of the recent era. A man who is said to be one of the most creative minds in gaming right now. And yet, no matter who 당신 ask, there is only two opinions on this guy. There’s the people who like David Cage and then there are the people who don’t. And I’m one of the people who don’t. Welcome to an episode of Content Cuck. And this is the David Cage and Quantic Dream rant article. I’m here to discuss all the flaws of every Quantic Dream game, yes, all five of them, and talk about the flaws of David Cage, from the self centered behavior to...
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added by 8theGreat
added by ace2000
added by TheLefteris24
added by ace2000
added by tanyya