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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
Gwen ran through the park. Her closet friend Annie had been kidnapped 의해 the 피자 Monster. She heard a scream in the distance. It was Annie's scream the same scream she heard that 일 they went to rider roller coasters at a local theme park. Suddenly Gwen heard giggling. The giggling belonged to one Annie Armstrong, the funniest person she knows and the best at drawing beavers during social studies. Annie was lying on the ground with a park bench lying on 상단, 맨 위로 of her.
"Annie! Are 당신 okay?" Gwen asked. "Don't worry Kathy, I'm as flippy as the 다음 hamburger!" Annie called out. "what?" "How did this happen?" Gwen asked. "The Pingy pong stuck my ducky under the bench!" Annie cried. Clearly Annie was a little messed up from 피자 Monster's evil spells of cheeseyness. Gwen helped lift the bench off Annie as well as helping her wacked out friend up. "What has that beast done to?" Gwen asked. "I have no idea. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Gwen screamed. the 피자 monster appeared from behind a bush. "RUN!" Annie screamed. Annie ran but the huge monster grabbed Gwen and stomped off with her.
"Gwen I think were sa- GWEN!!!" Annie said running in circles of fright. "I'm gonna get that 피자 dude if its the last snack i ever have!" Annie called. Annie ran to the golf coarse and "borrowed" a golf car and some clubs. she drove down to the 피자 monster's layer. there was a larger tarp on the ground it was wiggling. "ANNIE!!! HELP!" came a voice from under the tarp. "Who goes there?" Annie asked suppisouly. "Its Pincepal Wiggles! HELP!!" Annie thought for a moment. Should I rescue the guy who gave me a D in math? Annie though. "Sorry Wiggles But unless 당신 bump up my math grade you'll have to suffer." Annie said evily and contuined her 검색 for Gwen. Then she heard 더 많이 screaming. But not just one scream many screams. How many people 당신 got in there 피자 dude? Annie thought. "ANNIE ITS ME GWEN!" Gwen said coming up from behind her. "Are we gonna save all of the 피자 Monster's captives?" Gwen asked. "Nope we're going going to order some Italian food." Annie answered.
The End.

So what did 당신 think?
Based on a true story
Dedicated to Erin G.
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posted by karpach_14
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 초 AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The 다음 morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her 옷, 가운 and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
posted by Midnight__Sun
Why is it that when someone tells 당신 that there are over a billion stars in the universe, 당신 believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, 당신 have to touch it to make sure?

In case 당신 needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:



1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)


2. On a bag of Fritos -- 당신 could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?


3. On some Swanson 겨울왕국 dinners -- "Serving suggestion:...
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