1. If they want to loan 당신 money, tell them 당신 just filed for bankruptcy and 당신 could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are 당신 today?" say, "Why do 당신 want to know?" Alternately, 당신 can tell them, "I'm so glad 당신 asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is 연기 up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Ask them how to spell "Milpitas." Continue asking them personal 질문 또는 질문 about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you're male: Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter & Siegel services... You: Hang on a second. [a few seconds' pause] Okay, [in really husky voice] What are 당신 wearing? Telemarketer: [Click.]
5. Cry out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my GOD! Judy, how have 당신 BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know 당신 from.
6. Say "no", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if 당신 can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get 당신 to sign up with their Family and 프렌즈 plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as 당신 can muster, "I don't have any friends...would 당신 be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can 당신 get out blood? Can 당신 get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?" Alternate: "Sorry, my floor is made of stone."
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "uh-huh", "rilly" 또는 "how fascinating". Finally, when they ask 당신 to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them 당신 couldn't just give out your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell them 당신 work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from WaterTronics." You: "WaterTronics! Hey, I work for them too. Where are 당신 calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh...Milpitas, California." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business? The weather?!?" Telemarketer: "Sorry, we can't sell to employees." You: "Oh, okay. Bye!"
11. Answer the phone. As soon as 당신 realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, Shout 또는 scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. (Jerry Seinfeld version) Tell the telemarketer your busy at the moment and if they give 당신 their phone number, you'll call them back. Telemarketer will say "We're not allowed to give out our number". 당신 say, "I guess 당신 don't want anyone bothering 당신 at work, right?" Telemarketer will agree. 당신 say "Now 당신 know how I feel!" Hang-up.
13. Breath heavily and tell them 당신 were in the middle of having sex with your wife/husband. Tell them that the deal sounds good, but 당신 are not waiting for another 월 to finish the sex.
14. Sound happy to see hear from them, and ask them if they have (a) insurance (b) a burial plot, 또는 (c) a stock broker and that 당신 are one.
15. Say "speak up" and continue to do so.
16. Keep one of those personal siren alarms near the phone.
17. Ask them if they are aware that 당신 are with the District Attorney's Office, Division of Consumer Fraud, and that the conversation is being taped.
2. If they start out with, "How are 당신 today?" say, "Why do 당신 want to know?" Alternately, 당신 can tell them, "I'm so glad 당신 asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is 연기 up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Ask them how to spell "Milpitas." Continue asking them personal 질문 또는 질문 about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you're male: Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter & Siegel services... You: Hang on a second. [a few seconds' pause] Okay, [in really husky voice] What are 당신 wearing? Telemarketer: [Click.]
5. Cry out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my GOD! Judy, how have 당신 BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know 당신 from.
6. Say "no", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if 당신 can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get 당신 to sign up with their Family and 프렌즈 plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as 당신 can muster, "I don't have any friends...would 당신 be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can 당신 get out blood? Can 당신 get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?" Alternate: "Sorry, my floor is made of stone."
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "uh-huh", "rilly" 또는 "how fascinating". Finally, when they ask 당신 to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them 당신 couldn't just give out your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell them 당신 work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from WaterTronics." You: "WaterTronics! Hey, I work for them too. Where are 당신 calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh...Milpitas, California." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business? The weather?!?" Telemarketer: "Sorry, we can't sell to employees." You: "Oh, okay. Bye!"
11. Answer the phone. As soon as 당신 realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, Shout 또는 scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. (Jerry Seinfeld version) Tell the telemarketer your busy at the moment and if they give 당신 their phone number, you'll call them back. Telemarketer will say "We're not allowed to give out our number". 당신 say, "I guess 당신 don't want anyone bothering 당신 at work, right?" Telemarketer will agree. 당신 say "Now 당신 know how I feel!" Hang-up.
13. Breath heavily and tell them 당신 were in the middle of having sex with your wife/husband. Tell them that the deal sounds good, but 당신 are not waiting for another 월 to finish the sex.
14. Sound happy to see hear from them, and ask them if they have (a) insurance (b) a burial plot, 또는 (c) a stock broker and that 당신 are one.
15. Say "speak up" and continue to do so.
16. Keep one of those personal siren alarms near the phone.
17. Ask them if they are aware that 당신 are with the District Attorney's Office, Division of Consumer Fraud, and that the conversation is being taped.
