1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When 당신 sleep over never boss me around in 침대 unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If 당신 don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” 또는 “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If 당신 want sex, just ask. (In case 당신 didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only 모델 are able to wear most of the stuff 당신 see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes 집 and sees 당신 in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, 또는 just plain naked.
12. 당신 don’t need 란제리 to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank 상단, 맨 위로 are fine 의해 us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that 당신 may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true 또는 not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting 사랑 we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. 당신 shouldn’t be flattered 또는 grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually 더 많이 when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach 당신 not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so 샤워 with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) 당신 on 상단, 맨 위로 of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay 영화 with 당신 but don’t tell our friends.
30. 당신 can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports 영화 또는 “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as 당신 think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one 더 많이 girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced 의해 a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much 더 많이 attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. 당신 can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when 당신 are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of 당신 it is because we are proud and want to show 당신 off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether 당신 want to do it with the lights on 또는 off.
42. Whip cream and 초콜릿 syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing 당신 will ever do will entitle 당신 to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play 더 많이 often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only 초 to critiquing our 사랑 making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer 질문 we could be castrated.
48. If 당신 ask us to go shopping 당신 have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your 나귀, 엉덩이 look fat. Your fat 나귀, 엉덩이 makes your 나귀, 엉덩이 look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.