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Well, here it is. It’s time for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. While I have been busy with a ton of other things like work and the underlying threat of every phone call being a scam artist 또는 something to leave me bankrupt, this 기사 has always been in the back of my mind. And I’m finally gonna talk about it. Today. That’s right. It’s time we finally get to talking about the classic comedy film. Clerks… 2!. Nah, I’m kidding. Fuck that movie. It’s Clerks, the original, 1994 film



I: From Humble Beginnings

Clerks is the best comedy film I have ever seen. Of course, that isn’t completely true. This is not the best comedy film ever, not when stuff like Young Frankenstein 또는 Austin Powers exists. Hell, it’s not even the funniest comedy I’ve ever seen. But as a movie, as a film that I personally enjoy, Clerks is much 더 많이 than a comedy. It is a film about wanting 더 많이 in life, despite finding yourself at a dead end. Think if a movie about Squidward Tentacles was made, but with a lot 더 많이 swearing. Clerks was made 의해 one Kevin Smith, notorious for his stoner comedy, wearing football jerseys and making that really bad 배트맨 comic book that one time. But before he was a guest on Joe Rogan, before he was known for making 어치, 제이 and Silent Bob Strikes Back, he was just a clerk. He worked in a store, a store that is much like the Quick Stop in the film. In fact, it is just a Quick Stop that Kevin Smith worked at and used as the set for the movie. It’s still standing to this 일 in New Jersey, so I guess New Jersey at least has that aside from a million freeways. Kevin Smith was tasked with filming the movie, in the store, at night, for 21 days and on a budget of only $30,000 that he scraped together from selling his comic book collection, maxing out credit cards, and using insurance money from a car he lost. Working the counter at the store during the 일 while filming at night left him with only one 시간 of sleep a day. 의해 the end, he was barely awake. And while it wasn’t wacky like Anchorman, 또는 well produced like Shaun of the Dead 또는 a historical landmark in the same way Monty 파이썬 and the Holy Grail was, Clerks managed to make a name for itself and become an 아이콘 of that era. And we’re gonna talk about it. In depth. The entire movie. Don’t expect a lot of funny 이미지 this time around because I want to focus on the film alone.

II: Dante, He Wasn’t Even Supposed to Be Here Today

The film starts with our tragic hero, Dante Hicks, sleeping in a pile of his own clothes, drowsy and annoyed as he is called into work on his 일 off, and with little convincing, he puts on his dirty clothes, ties his dirty shoes, eats his dirty breakfast, drives his dirty work, and starts his dirty day. From here, 당신 may notice something. Why is the film in black and white? Well, budget. Remember, $30,000. Having to 편집 lighting post-production is a long, tedious, and expensive process, things that Kevin Smith couldn’t afford. So instead, black and white is what they went with. But personally, I 사랑 it. It gives it a sort of convenience store security camera look to it. Not intended, sure, but just a happy accident. So the intro is short and simple. Dante gets called to work on his 일 off and already starts with issues. No papers today. Better go take a handful from the newspaper machine. What are they called? I don’t know. I’m 20 in 2019 and the newspaper industry is fucking dying. Someone vandalized the store shutters, so Dante has to paint a sing in nail polish remover to assure customers they’re open, which was also to prevent people from seeing that it was night time, because, again, had to film at night. And thus, Dante sits behind the counter, head in his hands, ready for a long day. He wasn’t even supposed to be here today.

III: Vilification of a Cancer Merchant and Pig

Vilification
Noun
“Abusively disparaging speech”

Not even a few 분 starting the day, Dante is already confronted with his first foe. Like the trials of Hercules, like Homer’s Odyssey, Dante runs into his first challenge. An advertiser. From a regular customer to spinning tales about how bad cigarettes are to pretty much insitting a mob within a few short moments, Dante is compared to a Nazi for selling cigarettes and pelted with the very ciagarettes 의해 the customers as they shout “cancer merchant”. Also there are some stoners outside, just ignore them for the time being. They’re not that important right now. So anyway, after a rude run in with customers, which won’t be the last, we are introduced to Dante’s girlfriend, Veronica Loughran, who talks with Dante about his life, about his garbage job and his issues with college, before eventually talking about sex. I hope 당신 are a 팬 of crude, vulgar humor, talking about cum and pussies and cocks and balls, because this movie really loves it. In fact, it was close to becoming an NC-17 film due to just the dialogue before Miramax made it an R rated film. Anyway, Dante talks about sex life with women, telling Veronica he slept with twelve, including Veronica, compared to Veronica’s three, including Dante. Veronica, of course, is disgusted, but Dante doesn’t really feel much shame. He doesn’t feel much shame… until Veronica mentions how many men she’s blown. Then suddenly, Dante gets upset, taking a high and mighty approach to it on how blowjobs are much worse than sex (And yes, expect me to give this kind of vulgar commentary throughout the article. Then again, this should’ve been expected from the start). But we can come back to this choice of Dante’s words to his loving girlfriend later. Now it’s time to talk about Job and Silent Bay

IV: 어치, 제이 and Silent Bob, The Stan Lee of the View Askewniverse

PobBob and J are characters 당신 may know. Even if 당신 never watched Clerks, 당신 may have heard of these characters. They appear in almost every Kevin Smith from, from Chasing Amy to Mallrats to their own film, 어치, 제이 and Silent Bob Strike Back, which is currently getting a sequel. Anyway, these guys are always hanging outside the Quick Stop daily, making crude jokes at everyone, talking about sex and weed and saying the F word, and I dont mean fuck. I mean the OTHER F word. It was 1994, this was accepted back then. Of course, it’s 더 많이 of 어치, 제이 doing the talking, because after all, Silent Bob is silent. He doesn’t talk and just allows 어치, 제이 to do his wacky antics while he sits there and nods his head. These two are always in the background doing their own thing, from talking to a Russian rock 별, 스타 that sings the iconic Berzerker, the best song from Berserk, to just screwing with Dante and Randal within the store. They don’t really have much story relevance up until the final act and are mostly there for comedy, but they are a joy to watch. And hey, speaking of Randal, let’s talk about the most important character in Clerks, Randal Graves

V: Randal, The Ideal Worker

Another run in with another rude character, we are told that the guy working at the video store hasn’t arrived to open it up yet. And from the outside, we meet Randal. Randal is a horrible employee. He is rude to the customers, 느슨한 바지, 바지 off, closes the video store several times in one 일 to hang out with Dante in the store, and causes tons of issues for the video store. If 당신 were a customer to this kind of store, you’d be pissed. But this isn’t coming from the experience of a customer. This is from the workers experience, and I’m positive this goes through every employees head at some point. A lot of us have worked in retail at some point in our lives, and there is that one time, that one day, where 당신 just wanna go “fuck it” and leave the store to rot, tell a customer to get bent, and just hang out with your friend while you’re on the clock. Yes, it’s immature. Yes, it’s a huge problem. But we all want to do that at some point. Dante is content with his lot in life and disappoints himself before the world can do it for him. He accepts that this is his job and instead of trying to fight it, he sticks with this job and doesn’t attempt to get back into school. Randal, however, hates this job and instead of going with it, just chooses to slack off and have fun in his own way. And sometimes, that rubs off on Dante. But we’ll get to that later.

VI: Syntax, Well Formed In Social Goings and 별, 스타 Wars

Syntax
Noun
“The arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language”

Once Randal comes into the picture, the dialogue that this movie is known for really starts to hit its stride. From here, the movie is just full of amazing dialogue between the two of the most nonsensical topics, and sometimes, just sometimes, conversations related to the actual plot of the film, 또는 what little there is. For example, Randal is having a thought provoking talk with Dante about his loving, if imperfect, relationship with Veronica and his past relationship with one of his exes, Caitlin Bree, a girl who cheated on him several times in their relationship but is now talking to him again, convincing Dante that he could do better than he is with Veronica due to their arguments that they have. So naturally, to follow up on this conversation between the two is to talk about 별, 스타 Wars. Yes, for a good five minutes, these two are talking about how there were contract workers on the Death 별, 스타 and how they were nothing but casualties of war. This is actually in the movie and yet it is written so well and in such an interesting way that it is genius. How many times have 당신 had dumbass conversations like this with your 프렌즈 to pass the time? Also, there is foreshadowing that went to the wayside with Dante mentioning the depressing ending of Empire Strikes Back and how life is a series of downer endings, foreshadowing the original ending of Clerks that was cut but we’ll get to that later. If anyone is in film class and needs a good movie scene to write a three page 기사 on for an easy A, use the 별, 스타 Wars conversation scene from Clerks. At the least, a B+.

VII: Vagary, The Behavior of a Guidance Counselor

Vagary
Noun
“An unexpected change in the situation 또는 a behavior”

This is a much shorter scene. Clerks has scenes that can either be ten 분 long 또는 close to being just one. A scene plays where a guidance counselor is messing with eggs, hoping to find “the perfect egg”, all because something has to be worth it in a job as worthless as a guidance counselor in a school. All spoken 의해 a woman who jerks off caged animals. There are moments where customers with some wisdom and understanding come into the store. Not a lot, but it happens, and compared to the slogan campaigns 또는 morons with their hands stuck in Pringles cans, it’s a fresh change

VIII: Purgation, Venting About Idiot Customers

Purgation
Noun
“The purification 또는 cleansing of something 또는 someone”

This scene starts with Randal unknowingly selling cigarettes to a little girl. Remember that, it will be important later. Continuing the theme of Randal and Dante’s outlook on their jobs, with Randal being perfectly fine with throwing insults and disrespecting the customers while Dante just takes it, discussing their issues with idiot customers that ask the dumbest questions, venting about all the annoying run ins with them. Afterward, Veronica visits again, bringing Dante lasaga after the two calm down. We can see that when the two don’t argue, they are a very loving couple. 당신 also got Randal there adding onto it 의해 making slurping noises in the background. Never change, Randal.

IX: Malaise, He’s Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today

Malaise
Noun
“A general feeling of discomfort 또는 uneasiness whose cause is difficult to identify”

Dante is told the news that his boss had lied to him. Promising to return to the store at around 12, he is now all the way in Vermont and won’t be back until tomorrow, leaving Dante at the store and leaving him to run the store until closing for the rest of the day. That means he can’t go to his hockey game. But for this one moment, Dante decides to have enough with the stores rules. He’s tired of following the rules and decides to let loose like Randal does, and if he can’t go to the hockey game, he’ll bring the hockey game to the Quick Stop. So, he closes the store and takes the hockey game up to the roof to enjoy himself, and it goes over well… for twelve 분 until an angry customer knocks the ball off and leaves them with no ball and no 더 많이 game for the day, leaving Dante back to his frustrating job. Also his hockey buddies drank all the Gatorade in the store, so there’s that too.

X: Harbinger, Foreshadowing Death

Harbinger
Noun
“A person 또는 thing that signals the approach of another”

Another customer comes in, an old man who pesters Dante to use his bathroom as well as a porno magazine before going into the bathroom. We won’t be seeing this customer again until the final act, so keep him in mind (This film really loves it’s foreshadowing, doesn’t it). After that, Dante gets the news that one of his exes died and that her wake is today, so Dante decides to close the store while getting upset that Randal won’t watch the store, so they both decide to go to the wake, having a fun conversation about how Randal’s uncle died trying to suck his own dick before they arrive at the wake, and then run out 분 later, running from an angry mob. Due to budget reasons, they couldn’t film the scene in the funeral parlor, so they tell us in detail how Randal knocked the casket over. But 당신 can see it in all it’s animated glory in the Clerks X Anniversary Version on DVD and Blu-Ray. And if 당신 are noticing, these scenes are getting shorter and shorter, but that’s just how it is. Some scenes are filled to the brim with great dialogue and theming, and others, while having it’s 글쓰기 there, are very short. And this part… is no exception

XI: Perspicacity, Dictating Your Behavior

Perspicacity
Noun
“The quality of having a ready insight into things”

Moments after Randal ruins the wake 의해 knocking over a casket, he returns to the Quick Stop to ask Dante for his car so he can go and get a movie from a video store, not the one he works at. Randal and Dante continue to argue and Dante continues to be a hypocrite while a customer loudly reads out the tabloids in the newspaper, interrupting their argument throughout until Randal decides to stop it 의해 spitting his drink onto the customer. Why? Well… because it’s Randal. But also because he doesn’t want to hear the speel coming from Dante about how, as employees of the Quick Stop and RTS Video, they are obligated to respect and serve the customers, no matter what. Randal has long since decided that that mentality is stupid and proceeded to show Dante how much that meant to him 의해 spitting on the customers. In his own words, 제목 does not dictate behavior. If being a clerk was going to stop him from spitting on the customer, why didn’t it stop him? Because Randal decides for himself. He doesn’t let a store 또는 rude customers decide for him. And it’s that… bizarre but interesting logic that wins Dante over and gets him the car on his way to the video store.

XII: Paradigm, A Frustrating Pattern

Paradigm
Noun
“A typical example 또는 pattern of something”

Nearing the end of the day, Dante continues to get frustrating customers from people that mock his weight in front of other customers while also knowing Caitlin, being with her as well as one point. Also, remember the little girl that Randal sold cigarettes to earlier? Well a man comes to write him a ticket for selling cigarettes to children with a court 날짜 and a fine, adding even 더 많이 stress to Dante throughout the night. Up until he gets a visit from a familiar guest: Caitlin. In a brief moment, Dante starts to express some happiness at seeing her, thinking to himself that this is his chance at happiness. He’s decided that his relationship with Veronica is going nowhere, and wants another chance with Caitlin. After she tells him that she is not marrying anyone like the newspaper said, Dante immediately asks her out on a date, hoping for another chance that doesn’t result in him feeling frustrated in a relationship. And clearly Caitlin is excited to start again, though whatever the end result would have been, we just won’t know. As we will see soon. After that, Randal returns, not sure what to expect from Dante, but not expecting Dante to be happy. Dante lets all the frustrations today slide. After being trapped in a store all day, treated poorly 의해 customers and slapped with a $500 fine, thinking he has a shot at a happy relationship allows him to change all of what he has said previously about work and dictating and all that shit. After that, Dante leaves Randal to watch the store as he goes 집 to get changed, leading us to my 가장 좋아하는 part in the movie, aside from the 2nd to last act.

XIII: Whimsy, Randal’s Loyalty and Hermaphrodites

Whimsy
Noun
“Playfully quaint 또는 fanciful behavior”

This is a very short scene. Possibly the shortest in the film. There isn’t even any cutaways 또는 other shots. Nothing but this one shot of Randal sitting down, watching hermaphrodite porn, while Caitlin comes in and talks about how she was thrown out of her house all for Dante. But what makes this scene so good (aside from Randal’s crass humor about chicks with dicks and eating Chinese) is one quote near the end. They talk about how Caitlin is set on being with Dante this time without losing him again, discussing the bathroom in the back that is for employees only that has no working lights, and of course, Randal’s perverted humor. But as Caitlin is going to the bathroom, Randal says to her, and I quote, “break his 심장 again, and I’ll kill ya. Nothing personal”. 당신 would think throughout this entire film, Randal was nothing but a selfish asshole. He does nothing but walk into the store, disregarding his own job, annoying Dante all the time, getting him wrapped up in crazy shenanigans, and all the while, justifying his own actions, but he really is a friend to Dante. Dante is stubborn and cynical. He has long since accepted that he can’t do better than what he’s got. He’s accepted his lot in life, his horrible job and his miserable relationship. Randal is the opposite of Dante because of his behavior with his job and his outlook. He does what he wants to do, not what rude customers that stomp on him 또는 some back breaking establishment tells him what to do. And in all honesty, Randal is the only real good thing Dante has in his life. And this one quote shows how genuine Randal’s friendship with Dante is. It’s a nice touch. But we still got five parts left and this movie still hasn’t reached the climax yet.

XIV: Quandary, The Payoff to Harbinger

Quandary
Noun
“A state of perplexity 또는 uncertainty about what to do in a difficult situation”

After Dante returns, ready for the night, Caitlin comes out of the bathroom, excited after the encounter in the bathroom. According to Caitlin, Dante was waiting for her in the bathroom and they had sex. She assumed he was dead silent in the dark, just going at it with her. Of course, that wasn’t Dante. Dante just got back to the store. So yeah… remember that old guy? Are 당신 ready for it to get dark, because it’s about to get dark. So yeah, that old guy who went back there to masterbate ended up dying of a 심장 attack, having been dead for the entire day, and Caitlin is left in a traumatized state and taken away 의해 ambulance. Yeah, this was not the turn I was expecting for the film to take. So with Caitlin in shock and Dante left in a state of frustration and anger once again, what does he do? Go back to the store and keep running it until the night finally comes to an end.

XV: Lamentation, The Inferno That Is Dante’s Life

Lamentation
Noun
“A passionate expression of grief 또는 sorrow”

While Dante is left sitting on the counter, contemplating his miserable life while Randal, carefree of ever, plays with Doritos. Finally, Randal gives the 조언 that Dante has been needing for a while, to stop stewing in the pathetic life that he has made for himself. If Dante hates his job, quit. If he is so obsessed with Caitlin, dump Veronica. Randal is exhausted with hearing Dante complain about his life, yet acknowledges that he doesn’t do anything to change it, because to Dante, it’s easier to just accept it and live with it rather than try and change it for the better. Of course, Dante, being Dante, complains about this, tells Randal that he just can’t make risks and changes like that, so instead, decides that it is much better to just take what 당신 get and live with it. Of course, Randal, simplifying things to make his life easy and satisfying, isn’t about to let him make that choice. And that is what leads us to…

XVI: Juxtaposition, Dante’s Realization and How It Falls Apart

Juxtaposition
Noun
“The fact of two things being seen 또는 placed close together with contrasting effect”

It’s the end of the night and the last pair of customers walks in, 어치, 제이 and Silent Bob, who have been screwing around all night. The two offer to let Dante 가입하기 them on their night of partying, but he refuses. After that, 어치, 제이 takes mention of Caitlin after seeing her taken away in an 구급차 and pieces together how Dante was ready to leave Veronica for Caitlin, but still on the fence. And here, Jay, womanizer drug dealer Jay, tells Dante that Veronica truly loves him. Any girl 어치, 제이 was with only wanted him for drugs, but Veronica genuinely cares for him. Even Silent Bob puts his two cents in about how much Veronica cares about him. And at that moment, Dante comes to the realization that Veronica loves him and he loves her. So Randal tells Veronica that Dante doesn’t 사랑 her. Dante’s lack of ability to make changes pushes Randal to help make the decision for him, unknowing that he made the wrong decision for him. As a result, Veronica goes to the Quick Stop, wacks Dante with her purse, knocks him down twenty 더 많이 pegs for being so pathetic, and dumps him right then and there, leaving Dante to think about how Randal ruined his life once again.

XVII: Catharsis, Letting Out That Anger

Catharsis
Noun
“The process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong and repressed emotions”

The 초 Randal walks into the store, Dante grabs him 의해 the 칼라 and starts to choke him, leading to the two having a fight throughout the store, throwing 캔디 and 음식 around, before they are left sitting in the mist of their destruction, sore and angry. And this dialogue between the two, sitting there in the mess they made, brings us to my 가장 좋아하는 scene in the movie. There are no jokes, not even from Randal. It is just blunt honesty between the two. Dante snaps at Randal, pinning the blame for all his misery on Randal, how he was the 출처 of all of his problems in his life, without thinking about how it would be different, and ends it with saying- say it with me now- “I’m not even supposed to be here today”. And with that, Randal’s wacky, laid-back demeanor falls and he lashes out at Dante for the first time. He tells Dante how he only has himself to blame, how he closed the store twice in one 일 and how he was stuck on the fence between two girls without talking about it with Veronica, but rather than accept the blame, he points his problems to everything else, how his own suffering is of no fault of his own. And then Randal loses it at the store they work at. Dante says that they have to be respectful and honor the rules of the store, but Randal sees it as a worthless place that has no honor. There is no pride in this job. It is a convenience store and a video rental store. They mock the customers daily, insult them, get angry at them, when in reality, they are no better. They are just two guys stuck in dead end jobs, treated like garbage 의해 the world around them, and nothing can change that. Of course they would be frustrated at their jobs. They are, after all, clerks.

XVIII: Denouement, The End

Denouement
Noun
“The final part of a play”

On what would end on a rather drab note, the film ends with one last part. Now this is the shortest scene in the movie. It’s just one shot of Dante and Randal, after cleaning up the store and closing for the night, the two head out on an awkward but understanding note, discussing what they’ll do tomorrow, with the two still parting with some jokes. The movie then ends with Randal throwing the “I assure you” sign in while saying, “You’re closed”. And with that, the film ends, with Sound Asylum’s Can’t Even Tell plays, a perfect song to end this movie. Now this isn’t exactly the perfect ending, and that is because this was not the original ending. The original end was where Dante dies… yeah. He was to be shot 의해 a faceless individual and left for dead, bringing back Dante’s mention of life being a series of downer endings. Now, would this ending be better than what we got? I don’t know, it depends on what 당신 prefer, really. But, that is Clerks. What a genius film cult film that went under appreciated and has a minor cult following- Oh wait!

XIX: Clerks’ Cultural Impact, Glory and Legacy

Clerks was a massive hit with critics and audiences for many reasons, being down to earth and being just a classic film that was perfect in the counterculture era of the 90s. It became a financial success, launching the careers of Kevin Smith and several actors in the film, and started a huge franchise of movies, with Kevin Smith still making 영화 today, even continuing the View Askewniverse almost thirty years later with the announcement of 어치, 제이 and Silent Bob Strikes Back and recently Clerks 3, a movie that no one was suspecting to be made. Along the way, there were comics, an animated show, which I do in fact have on DVD because I’m a fucking nerd, and had a pilot for a live action show made that was never shown because it was apparently garbage. I remember watching the animated show so much in college and loved it. Shame it only got six episodes. Maybe I’ll talk about them some day. Regardless, Clerks is a major achievement not just in comedy, but in indie films. One man was able to launch his career and the careers of many others for 글쓰기 a well made film with amazing dialogue and characters. Kevin Smith, even though I don’t like much of your modern work, and Clerks 2 was a gigantic disappointment in comparison, Clerks is still my 가장 좋아하는 comedy ever. So, thank 당신 for making and please, please, don’t fuck up 3. Okay, I am finally done with this. I can finally go back to talking about 더 많이 인기 things that people really want to hear me talk about. Like defending the big plot twist of Rose Quartz in Steven Universe, 또는 telling everyone why Funko Pops suck. Yeah, I can please everyone.
posted by Puncky_Girl
brick:butch i'm going to sleep and don't broke something
butch:wait now?
brick:yea so what?
butch:oh come on brick! we can have a party!
brick:party? butch i want a pease!
butch:ok 당신 go...
(brick goes to his room)
butch:you leave your phone here brick? (took bricks phone) now let's send SMSes
(door 벨 rings)
butch:(looks in the hole) it's open
(mitch comes)
mitch:hey butch
butch:wow mitch wats up?
mitch:i just wanted my ball back (tooks his ball)
butch:hey what is in your pocket?
mitch:marker
butch:will 당신 give it to me?
mitch:what you'll give?
butch:umm brick's hat?
mitch:i don't want...
continue reading...
posted by greenstergirl
Chapter one
Okay this is a really 랜덤 stroy but I was bored and I couldn't get this idea out of my head. In my opinion it is really badly written so sorry.

“Okay Class, 당신 have the rest of the period to finish this quiz. This is the last grade before your midterm so work well, and remembers what we studied,” Said my Mr. Grazing, my math teacher. He was the kind of teacher kids pick on and make fun of behind his back. I hate math, so I don’t care for him as a teacher much. He usually wears a sweater vest and weird 1950 glasses that squeeze his nose at the tip.

I stared at the Chapter...
continue reading...
posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find 더 많이 crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? 당신 are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor,...
continue reading...
User: So your a robot?


Cleverbot: No 당신 are a robot times 1000000.


User: No 당신 are a robot times 1000000.


Cleverbot: I am a human and 당신 are a robot.


User: User: 당신 robot.User: 당신 robot.User: 당신 robot.


Cleverbot: Hahahaha that was funny. 당신 are the robot here.

User: User: 당신 robot.User: 당신 robot.User: 당신 robot.

Cleverbot: No i'm not robot... 당신 computer?

User: So your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes I 'd like to know how I can have my own bot.

User: So 당신 admit that your a robot?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am a robot.




LOL yes fail I know
i don't know if this is already on here. i feel lazy and don't feel like looking.

i found this on some joke website:

CAROLS FOR THE MENTALLY DISTURBED

SCHIZOPHRENIA: do 당신 hear what i hear?

DEMENTIA: I think I'll be 집 for Christmas

MANIC: deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and streets and stores and office and town and cars and busses and trucks and trees and 불, 화재 hydrants and...

PARANOID: santa claus is coming to get me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: 당신 better watch out, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell 당신 why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell...
continue reading...
posted by KitkatKaysa
Capricorn.

Your element: Earth
Your ruling planets: Saturn
Symbol: The Goat
Your stone: Garnet
Life Pursuit: To be proud of their achievements
Vibration: Poweful resilient energy
Capricorn Secret Desire: to be admired 의해 their family and 프렌즈 and the world at large

Description:
The sign of the high roller, Capricorn is regarded as the zodiac’s top, but also quiet, life and business achievers. But, there are two very different types of Capricorns.

The first is represented 의해 the mountain goat, always climbing higher and higher; never content until reaching the top. The 초 is the garden goat,...
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My Experience Ok (: I've Walked In Too The 음악회, 콘서트 Center ...:) I've Sat Down!!!! I've Seen I Was 13 Rows Back From The Stage ..... I've Wated 1 시간 Omg I Got Extremely Exited Then He Came On Yay!!! Ok But Then It Wassss So Boring He Was Just Staining There 노래 I've Tryed Going up Front Row Scruty Hunny Go Back To You're 좌석 Ooh K Then 드레이크, 드레이 크 Sad 당신 Guys Could Come Front Row If U Want!!!!! Omg I Ran There 드레이크, 드레이 크 Got So Much Better Touching My Hand Connecting With The 팬 팬 Was 노래 Along Giving Him 꽃 Stuffed Bares Sines We All Had Glow Sticks .:) [= Yeah We Loved It Let Me Know If You've Seen Him Live Thanks For 읽기 And You're Comments
To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's 일 together. Emily had cooked a stupid 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 and they ate on a log 의해 candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not...
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posted by EllentheStrange
ok,this is a clean one!I'm not letting David help me with it,so some of them will be crappy.

1.Burn the Justin bieber Posters
2.Grap a chair and chips and sit back and relax
3.Slap a person and say that 당신 have tourettes
4.Do the moonwalk,frontwards!
5.Try giving an exorcism to a teddy bear.
6.Ask 질문 to a magic 8 ball and take the 답변 seriuosly.
7.Do the Lyn-Z Way backbend!
8.Cry when 당신 find out that they don't have any My chemical Romance posters.
9.Freak out when 당신 see yourself in the bathroom mirror.
10.Slap my brother David with a Hot Pocket for having fucked up thoughts :^D
11.Buy all the hair straightener and eyeliner so none of the emos have them (//_^)
12.Randomly freak out whenever Surfing Bird comes on the Radio
13.Hug a 랜덤 person!
raindrops on 장미 and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favourite things,

cream coloured ponies with crisp 사과, 애플 strudels doorbells and sleybells and snitzel with nudels
wild geese that fly with the moon with there wings these are a few of my favourite things,

girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
silver white winters that melt into springs
these are a few of my favourite things,

when the dog bites when the bee stings when Im feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite thing
and then I dont feel so bad
Chapter 3 The cult


“What are 당신 on about?” I was shaking with anger. How dare she say what I am and what I'm not “Stuff you” I wanted to say much worse. I walked away from her. Suddenly James was in front of me, smirking at me then he slowly vanished. I had to get out of here. 의해 the time I come back it will be too late.

I was walking down the empty 거리 the sun had set already. How long have I been walking for? I did not even feel tired. Some how I ended up at the park... thinking of Hannah, I walked past where it all happened Hannah screams echoed inside my head. I felt nothing...
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posted by justinfangrrl
Ya' know how everybody thinks fairytales and magic aren't real? Well, I beleive in them!
I'm not talking about santa clause, tooth fairy and easter bunny kinda stuff... I mean like ghosts, 유니콘 and things of that sort.

Everybody in my family has seen SOMETHING. and don't call me crazy. =(

Why is it so inconceivable that these things can't exist? Why is it so hard to believe that a big hairy man walks around in the woods? It could be like a woodland ape!

What's wrong with thinking 유니콘 are real???! Who said they have to have magical powers? It's pretty much just a beautiful horse...
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Okay so my twin sister Sassikassi is annoying and this is what she does to me and other people!
*She throws 음식 at me
*She plays baseball with my sandwiches
*She asks stupid 질문 (ex: What do 도서관, 라이브러리 cards do? btw she does not have any medical condition for that I think she trys to embarass me)
*She trys to embarass me
*She tells my secrets to everyone
*She beats me up
*Shes a crybaby I cant remember a 일 when she hasnt burst into tears
*She gets me into trouble
*She yells at me for no reason
*Basicly she is not who 당신 think she is
posted by MOLLYMAYJR
ok so i went to a football game last friday and watched the cheerleaders then walked off! but what i did see was that well they all looked really pretty but never judge a book 의해 its cover so i am just gonna say it! they all looked stuckup! but arent they all?? my cousin whose a 10th grader and says the cheerleaders at her school r stuck up snotss!!! and so r the ones at mine! so if u feel my pain about cheerleaders 또는 u r 1 and there r stuck up snobs on ur squad then id 사랑 to hear ur thoughts!!
Your Mother also has her sentence she says and repeats it all the time?

Let us share ...

1. We don't say "Yuck."
2. I'm tired of repeating the same thing a hundred times.
3. I'm not your maid.
4. It's not over soon this comedy?
5. Stop sniffing blow your nose.
6. I have not heard the magic word.
7. 당신 don't say "I do not like" 당신 have not even tasted.
8. What we say to Mom?
9. File in your room!
10. Hurry up, you'll be late!
11. Don't wad of bread.
12. What are these grades?
13. Eat: it's full of vitamins.
14. But leave them alone!
15. Because it's like that, that's all.
16. Go on, shoo!
17. Pee, teeth and...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
When I went to see Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me, the previews were the same. And all the 영화 that the previews were advertising looked terrible. Well, Tangled looks OK, and Megamind seems worth it, but Smurf and Kitty Galore look like an insult to my intelligence. Maybe I'm just taking these too seriously, but still. Previews are supposed to make their 영화 look GOOD.

The trailer that really got to me was Alpha and Omega. If 당신 haven't seen it, look it up on Youtube. I know 당신 shouldn't judge a movie 의해 it's, uh, trailer, but this seems like it's going to be freakin' horrible.
Wayyy...
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posted by jessicamc26
Two guys were picked up 의해 the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give 당신 a 초 chance rather than jail time. I want 당신 to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see 당신 back in court Monday."


Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,

"How did 당신 do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did 당신 tell them?"

"I...
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posted by MileySelena982
Never mind the haters. All they do is break 당신 down. Build yourself up and ignore them. Don't they look so small from up here?

When they make a nasty comment, pretend they aren't there. They'll never get to 당신 that way. When they kick and scream at other peoples hating 코멘트 about them, don't they look silly?

When they ask why 당신 like what 당신 do, ask them why they like what they like. "How's it feel, huh?"

Hater will say many things, some the probably don't mean. But, if someone does hate, ask them, "Why? Why do 당신 do it? Do 당신 have nothing else to do with your life?" Just ignore them, they hate that. All the want is attention. And whatever 당신 do, don't give it to them.

-JC
Pieyaiyai pieyaiyai pieyaiyai eat them till u cry. [wait 4 about 16 seconds, then do verse 1] The empty pie tins, were 1st known as frisbees, spinning, spinning, they look so dizzy. The tins looks shiny, it reflects the sun, yes bakerys r our number 1! [chorus] Pie ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, throw little pecks straight down into peoples eyes. Pie ay ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, keep throwing them at the cogs until they die. [wait about 16 더 많이 seconds, then start the 2nd verse] Now they have bakeries, so many snacks 2 taste. No, we shouldnt let them go 2 waste. From brownies to cakes, and 쿠키 and pie, colorful, fruitful, yummy snacks oh my! [repeat chorus twice] Pieyaiyai pieyaiyai pieyaiyai eat them till u die. [wait 4 about 30 seconds, then repeat verse 1, after that u repeat the chorus 2 mor times, then wait 4 about 16 mor seconds] Pie ay ay ay, im a birdie who likes pies, eat all the treats, till ur so full u could cry. The end, hope u liked it(and san it rite).
Mr.Mosby: I'm so glad zach is gone for my whole life!
Zach: Hi Mr.Mosby!
Mr.Mosby: *screams* what are 당신 fdoing here!
Cody: he's getting held back!
Mr.Moasby: and you?
Cody: I'm just droping him off.
Mr.Mosby: Oh great!
Brianna: Rich girls coming through!
Mr.Mosby: Oh 당신 must be the hetrick sisters!
Rochelle: yeah! now go find our maid!
Mr.Mosby: 당신 don't have a maid.
Brianna: Then go get us one!
Mr.Mosby: 당신 can't have a maid!
Rochelle: why not?
Zach: *wripers in Mr.Mosby's ear* Say that there too prety to have one.
Mr.Mosby: Your too prety to have one.
Brianna: oH well, that's great! Let's go Rochelle!...
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