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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
After dying, I went to heaven. Funny story, actually.
So after I got there, I had to wait in this big line! I didn't know what the hell was at the end of it. So about two hours later, I was at the beggining of the line. As it was my turn, I stepped up to a man wearing a flight attendant uniform.
"What's your name, mister?" He asked me
"John Richardson."
"Hmm, John Richardson, 45 years old, shot in the head, you're gonna have to wait for the 다음 bus."
"Bus?"
"There are busses that take 당신 to heaven. Now, 당신 can wait in one of our many lovley shops of caffes."
"Damn."
I walked to a nearby coffee shop, and got a mocachino. I sat at a 표, 테이블 with a goth girl and an old man.
"So, how did 당신 guys die? I got shot in the head."
"I commitied scuicide."
"I died of old age."
"Oh. Must suck to be dead, doesen't it."
"I thought being dead was fun."
"OH! MY BACK!"
I walked away from the tabe with my coffe. The goth girl and old man were freaking me out.
I ended up near a Macy's, where I went in to browse. I saw a nice, 담홍색, 핑크 polo shirt. "My wife would've loved this." I said. And then my phone rang to my annoying beeping ringtone. I need to change my ringtone, I thought to myself.
"Hello?"
"The 다음 bus is here. 당신 can take it, John
Richardson."
"I'll be right there."
I ran to the bus station, where I coud pass the inspection. I was sitting on the bus.
"Hi and welcome to Heaven Express. This is bus 49121. We will be taking 당신 to Heaven. Please enjoy the ride." She didn't give us saftey tips. Maybe because we're dead.
The bus ride was rather short and pleasant. Everybody was polite, and the bus was cleaner than my commute bus back in earth. Finnaly, the bus ride was over, and we opened the gate, and...
I woke up in my 침대 on Earth.
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posted by ilovepenguins
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes 의해 waving it and
saying, “Quite right, old bean!”
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
wear it out!”
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
go if he died tomorrow....
continue reading...