0 = Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as any bayonet.
1 = Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 = Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 = Crossword in newspaper filled in. After a while blanks are filled in with 랜덤 letters and numbers.
4 = Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packet of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one 의해 one.
5 = Have brilliant discussion with guy on the 다음 bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Manchester United's problems.
6 = Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them 당신 사랑 them. Call girlfriend to tell her 당신 사랑 her and she still has an amazing figure.
7 = Send drinks over to woman sitting at 표, 테이블 with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of 사랑 on five 칵테일 napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks 당신 outside. 당신 buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 = Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one 의해 one. Fall over. Get up.
9 = Head-ache kicks in. 맥주 tastes off. Send it back. 다음 bottle comes back tasting the same. Say, "That's much better." Fight nausea 의해 trying to play old 우주 Invaders game for ten 분 before seeing out of order sign.
10 = Some doubling of vision. Stand on 표, 테이블 shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down 의해 barmaid, who 당신 offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 = Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize 당신 are sitting in pub cellar, having taken wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 = Put in cab 의해 somebody. Give 집 address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.
1 = Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 = Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 = Crossword in newspaper filled in. After a while blanks are filled in with 랜덤 letters and numbers.
4 = Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packet of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one 의해 one.
5 = Have brilliant discussion with guy on the 다음 bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Manchester United's problems.
6 = Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them 당신 사랑 them. Call girlfriend to tell her 당신 사랑 her and she still has an amazing figure.
7 = Send drinks over to woman sitting at 표, 테이블 with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of 사랑 on five 칵테일 napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks 당신 outside. 당신 buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 = Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one 의해 one. Fall over. Get up.
9 = Head-ache kicks in. 맥주 tastes off. Send it back. 다음 bottle comes back tasting the same. Say, "That's much better." Fight nausea 의해 trying to play old 우주 Invaders game for ten 분 before seeing out of order sign.
10 = Some doubling of vision. Stand on 표, 테이블 shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down 의해 barmaid, who 당신 offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 = Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize 당신 are sitting in pub cellar, having taken wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 = Put in cab 의해 somebody. Give 집 address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.