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This 기사 belongs to link on Tumblr.


A quick run-down should 당신 ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.
-Seriously
-Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
-I don’t care how good he says his weed is
-he is cuckoo bananas
-and he wants 당신 dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
-There are six words 당신 should YouTube, should 당신 get the chance
-“Kevin 베이컨 in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
-If the killer can’t see 당신 또는 hear 당신 WHY WOULD 당신 MOVE?
-Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause 당신 never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
-Someone will always be barefoot
-Or in heels
-Or just plain clumsy
-And will sprain their ankles
-And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
-Don’t walk around looking for people
-House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
-Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, 당신 will die.
-Hell, maybe even then.
-I mean.
8. If 당신 hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
-The killer is there.
-Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
-The last thing 당신 need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
-Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
-They are creepy enough without 당신 dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct 질문 about either the history of the 집 또는 the 이전 tenants, DO NOT 옮기기 IN.
-At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the 텔레비전 (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
-It is obviously your wisest choice.
-SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
-Move very very far away
-Because there’s blood on your walls.
-Blood.
-Your
-Walls
-Are
-Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
-Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack 당신 in a closet.
-If 당신 live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
-But if 당신 die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. 구글 the location you’ll be vacationing at.
-If 더 많이 than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, 당신 know not to go there.
-Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. 또는 come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
-Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If 당신 see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your 프렌즈 playing a trick on 당신 to scare you.
-It is the killer.
-ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that 당신 in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
-Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
-ONLY APPLIES IF:
-It’s past midnight at the campground 당신 and your sorority sisters are staying at or
-The lock to the door doesn’t work and 당신 hear creepy 피아노 music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
-Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
posted by animefreak21
do this stuff if u dare but it would be funny 2 c
something like this happen i also made this up myself

1. start caramelldansen in the middle of the store

2. go up 2 a 랜덤 person and hand them a paper
that says death on it when u hand it 2 them say
wakarimasen (i don't understand) in a really weird
voice then run away

3. sing a really annoying song at the 상단, 맨 위로 of your lungs repeatedly

4. follow 랜덤 people all over the store 또는 where ever they go except the bathroom (that would just be
creepy)

5. say there u r i was looking all over 4 u and glomp (hug some 1 really tight) a 랜덤 person

6. go up...
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posted by Ninjacupcake
Hate is everywhere. It can be because of race, gender 또는 if someone is gay/lesbian/bi. Sadly, a lot of us have to live with it. What I want to speak about are the hatings of people with different sexual orientations.

Most of 당신 have heard Born This Way 의해 Lady Gaga. I want to say that everyone IS beautiful in their way cause God makes no mistakes. Even though I'm straight, that does NOT mean that I hate others. I 사랑 everyone. It makes me mad, but also sad, because that's a human being 당신 are hating. They have red blood when they bleed, need 음식 when they are hungry, and DANG, their poop...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do 당신 want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take 당신 out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call 당신 sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give 당신 a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why 당신 are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are 당신 going through now?

"I 사랑 you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized 의해 irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing 또는 two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our 사랑 당신 lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we 사랑 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 사랑 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 사랑 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 또는 form.
6.Guys 당신 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 당신 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 사랑 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 당신 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just 읽기 some of the 터미네이터 인용구 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 일 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 당신 might get annoyed 의해 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! 당신 can think what ever 당신 can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people 사랑 batman, I go for Superman. 배트맨 dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One 일 he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my 다음 hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that 당신 can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at 당신 a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments 당신 a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if 당신 are single.

06. He asks 당신 out for lunch.

07. He asks 당신 out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats 당신 like a lady.

12. He walks 당신 to your door.

13. He wants to see 당신 often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells 당신 he likes you.

16. His 프렌즈 know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He said he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I said "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give 당신 the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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10. When being pulled over 의해 a cop and he 또는 she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, 당신 have been caught speeding, how much do 당신 think 당신 were going?" Don't say, "Well 당신 must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when 당신 haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron 또는 born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period 또는 PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have 당신 been putting on a little weight?" It's a 암캐, 암 캐 slap waiting to happen.

7....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I 스톨, 훔친 a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag 당신 down and beat 당신 with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make 당신 Christian even 더 많이 then standing in a 차고 makes 당신 a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the list though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at 집 even if...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been 게시됨 before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the 배트맨 theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 프렌즈 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If 당신 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours 의해 hooking a 캠코더 to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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Intro :

yea mmhm i know these have been 게시됨 alot but i am both insane and depressed and i can help depending on your personality 또는 sumthin like tht. But anyways, just read on. I hope 당신 like!!! This was written 의해 me! Not taken off anyone else. Thanks for your time 읽기 my into ;) ~~ XxemolovexX (prefer not to say my real name)

How to cure boredom :


If you're an artist :
Draw! drawing will always help 당신 feel better. And who knows, over time 당신 might be able to draw amazingly.

If you're an author :
Free write! Its always fun to. Write something according to your taste in books.

If 당신 love...
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids 의해 their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and 지르 in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. 지르 simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by rayban00
This link is made of very simple,The lens is dark yellow, the color is predominant. And retro-style frame has a bright spot in the whole spectacle. General wear this retro style link, 더 많이 또는 less a link with the United States. If 당신 look carefully, there is a small screw, so rayban sunglasses 더 많이 firmly. 레이 Ban prices affordable, cheap.

It seems that Hollywood stars are always so charming?, They not only well dressed but never appear without makeup 또는 sweat the makeup to stains.All dressed themseves perfect even without the light.

Cheap rayban Sunglasses are their common decration,because...
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posted by TVD_rocks
from the internet :)

(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have 케샤 babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds 당신 of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his 바비 인형 girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his 집 adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he 답변 he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
posted by TeamSongz4eva
**again i got this from the internet**


These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the 출처 of much amusement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If 당신 are a burglar, then we're probably at 집 cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's 안전한, 안전 to leave us a message."...
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posted by EllentheStrange
I am anti emo,because I don't the idea of them

mutilating themselves for no reason.I mean

sure,you have bullies at school and your mom

hates you,but I have those same problems.But I

don't cut,or dink,or do drugs.Emo Kids are just

pissing their life away cutting and killing

themselves over their little problems.You live in

a small town,nobody feels sorry for you.get a

haircut.There's no point to get

yourself.Everybody has problems.Deal with

them,but don't cut.Write 또는 draw.Listen to music.

Do something else besides cut.And the posers are

even worst so I dislike them even more.They think

it will...
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1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on 또는 off.

2.Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of 당신 just shut UP!

4.Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

5.Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7.Shave.

8.Crack open your 서류 가방 또는 purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

9.Offer name 태그 to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10.Stand silent...
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Hello! Gabriella here. :D I will tell 당신 all these: What dates & Why 당신 don't want your birthday on these days.

1- New Year's 일
You don't know what your celebrating. Your birthday 또는 the new year.

2-Groundhog's Day
I think this is an American thing but, 당신 know how if 당신 see the shadow, this happens, if not, that happens? Yeah, why 당신 ask? Groundhog. People complaining about the outcome.
2-Valentine's Day
Your loved a bit too much.
2-Leap Year
This day, only comes, once every four years. Why would 당신 want to celebrate it today?

4-April Fool's Day
You get pranked on your own birthday. What...
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