[Everybody Loves Raymond] 116 - Diamonds #385
Marie: Oh I used to 사랑 Valentines Day!... then I met your father.
Frank: I used to 사랑 every day.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 121 - Fascinating Debra #409
Debra: There's nothing funny about me to imitate y'know?
Ray: Oh, what are 당신 talking about? Here I'll do you. "Ray, get off of me, it's not your birthday"
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 202 - Father Knows Least #380
Ray: Look, 당신 have to do what Mommy says.
Ally: Why?
Ray: 'Cause I do.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 207 - Anniversary #381
Marie: We almost got divorced.
Frank: There's a sad word��'- almost.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 208 - The Children's Book #382
Ray: I was wondering-- are we still fighting?
Debra: What? Oh, no, no.
Ray: Okay, good. I almost bought flowers.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 212 - All I Want For 크리스마스 #379
[about sex]
Debra: 당신 know, it's not always me what about last week when I was in the mood and 당신 weren't?
Raymond: When was that???
Debra: Wednesday. 당신 were watching TV I asked 당신 to give me a backrub. Yeah 당신 gave me one of these one-handed deals.
Raymond: Wait wait a minute. 당신 ask for a backrub, and that means Mr. Smith goes to Washington?
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 212 - All I Want For 크리스마스 #383
Ray: Not the flannel pajamas!
Debra: What?
Ray: When 당신 come to 침대 wearing that silky thing I know I have a chance but the flannel pajamas? 당신 might as well be wearing a porcupine suit!
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 217 - The Ride-Along #384
Debra: Ally, what are 당신 doing?
Ally: Cutting Molly's hair.
Debra: Oh no, no, honey, 당신 can't cut a doll's hair. It won't grow back-- only people hair grows back.
Ally: Oh. [pauses, calls for her baby brother] Geoffrey!
Debra: Oh, no, no, no, Ally, go ahead. Just cut the doll's hair. Hey, look, 당신 missed a spot.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 303 - The Sitter #398
Ray: [referring to messy house] 당신 know what 당신 need, 당신 need some real help around here.
[Debra glares at Ray]
Ray: Keeping in mind I have a very busy schedule.
Debra: Oh yeah that's right gee isn't it time for your 9 o'clock butt scratch?
Ray: That's okay I don't do that anymore I'm on the patch.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 305 - The Visit #399
[practising saying mom for Debra's mother]
Ray: Mom... mom... mom...
Marie: [walks through door] Hiii!
Ray: Wow, that... that is powerful... Let me try something: Xena warrior princess, Xena warrior princess...
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com





[Everybody Loves Raymond] 310 - No Fat #410
Ray: Hey.
Marie: Hi honey, want some eggs?
Frank: Don't listen to her, it's not eggs. It's got fake egg crap.
Marie: It tastes exactly the same.
Frank: Yes. Exactly like crap.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 310 - No Fat #411
Ray: Why didn't 당신 bring your dog, Robert?
Robert: I don't think Shamsky would eat this.
Ray: Yeah, but we could eat him.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 413 - Bully On The Bus #343
Marie: I sense tension and anger.
Frank: Maybe you're picking up your own scent.
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #371
Raymond: Happy Anniversary. Hey, 당신 know what I was thinking? Since this is our tenth anniversary, why don't we let the kids stay at grandmas and grandpas, all night, if 당신 know what I mean?
Debra: Hey, 저기요 we could watch our wedding video?
Raymond: I guess 당신 don't know what I mean.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #372
[after finding out 레이 taped over his wedding video]
Frank: 저기요 good work Ray. Now when some broad starts yapping "you're never romantic!". Guys everywhere can say "Hey, 당신 think I'm bad? At least I didn't pull a 레이 Barone.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #373
Marie: Well I'll tell 당신 what I would like if I were Debra...
Frank: I'd like it if 당신 were Debra!
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 416 - The Tenth Anniversary #374
Robert: [referring to the wedding magazines] Where did 당신 get these?
Ray: The 신문 판매대, 신문 가판대 -- it was so embarrassing. I had to buy some porn just to even it out.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 418 - Debra Makes Something Good #375
Frank: First of all, if I have anything to say about your mother, I'm not afraid to say it right to her face... 초 of all, those are not jokes.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 418 - Debra Makes Something Good #402
Ray: I'm not going to make those jokes anymore.
Debra: Thank you.
Ray: Will 당신 still cook for me?
Debra: Yes.
Ray: Will 당신 take your clothes off?
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 421 - Someone's Cranky #376
Raymond: Maybe 당신 should cut them some slack.
Robert: What?
Raymond: Yeah 'cause they mean well... y'know?... Well, mom means well, dad's just, mean.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com





[Everybody Loves Raymond] 421 - Someone's Cranky #377
Robert: Apparently if 당신 leave 우유 out for twelve weeks, it goes bad and then explodes. [holds a candle] However, this is lavender bouquet.
Raymond: Can we use it to light the apartment on fire?
Debra: Robert, do 당신 have any 더 많이 candles?
Frank: 또는 an old sneaker I can bury my face in?
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 422 - Bad Moon Rising #378
Raymond: People! Shut up all of 당신 guys. Debra's not feeling well, bio... hormonally.
Frank: Oh! Got it. The enemy within.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 422 - Bad Moon Rising #400
Debra: Oh, would 당신 STOP? I'm not crying because of the way I sound! I'm crying because I'm married to an insensitive derfwad, who instead of trying to make life easier for his wife, tape-records her so he has proof she's a terrible person!
Ray: What's a derfwad?
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 508 - Young Girl #388
Ray: Let me tell 당신 something Robert, there's two Debras. That's right. There's the Debra 당신 see that doesn't have a problem with it. Then, when everybody leaves, there's the Debra that I see: Darth Debra.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 515 - Silent Partners #391
Ray: If one was asked to read a book called Devilwood, one would be correct in assuming that the book was scary, 또는 exciting 또는 had something devil-y in it, wouldn't one?
Robert: One would.
Ray: Well then one would be wrong!
Robert: What's going on Raymond?
Ray: Debra wants me to read this so we have stuff in common. But I swear this sucker's like a horse tranquilizer.
Here, listen to this first line. "Imagine a rain so beautiful it must never have existed" what does that mean? What does that mean?? Tell me right now what does that mean???
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 515 - Silent Partners #392
Debra: Have 당신 read any of that book?
Ray: I read a lot.
Debra: Yeah? What's it about?
Ray: It's, it's about a rain that's so beautiful, I can't even believe it existed.
Debra: That's the first line, you've read ONE LINE!
Ray: And I was gonna read the 다음 line when I came out of my COMA!
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 515 - Silent Partners #393
Ray: This 버터 is the perfect temperature 슬래쉬 density.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 522 - Say Uncle #304
Frank: Marie, what the hell? One 초 당신 were making me pancakes, the 다음 초 you're gone... which would be great if there were pancakes.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 612 - Season's Greetings #313
[about the 크리스마스 letter from ten years prior]
Frank: I remember this. I had all the stuff I was gonna do when I retire on it.
Marie: Was "be nicer to your wife" on there?
Frank: Might as well have been, it's all ridiculous crap!
Contributed 의해 evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 618 - The Breakup Tape #315
Ray: So I have to live in a museum of your erotic past.
Debra: It's not a museum.
Ray: So 당신 admit... it was erotic!
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 619 - Talk To Your Daughter #316
Frank: Let me tell 당신 about life.
Ray: Great. We're gonna hear the meaning of life from a man who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called "Protecting your sandwich".
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 619 - Talk To Your Daughter #317
Ray: What, 당신 don't think I can do it? I'll do it, I'll have the sex talk with her.
Debra: I'll tell 당신 what, Ray. 당신 can be there, and I'll explain it to the both of you.
Contributed 의해 evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 620 - A Vote For Debra #318
Debra: 당신 were stuffing your pants with food!
Ray: I'm your husband, you're supposed to support me no matter what's in my pants!
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 625 - The First Time #319
Debra: Oh, honey, honey, not tonight, okay? How about tomorrow?
Ray: How about we start tonight and go til tomorrow?
Debra: We'd have to start at 11:59, then.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 705 - Who Am I? #320
Ray: Are 당신 having an affair with the bookstore guy?
Debra: Right. He's 60 years old, got one eye, and he smells of the jungle.
Ray: Yeah, that's how 당신 like it.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 712 - Grandpa Steals #321
Robert: Your daughter, your problem.
Ray: You're stupid, you're ugly.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 714 - Just A Formality #322
Debra: 당신 listen to me Robert. This is between 당신 and Amy. Her parents
are just going to have to get used to the idea. But it's your life. 당신 do what 당신 want to do.
Ray: Until 당신 get married. Then 당신 do what she wants to do.
Contributed 의해 evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 715 - The Disciplinarian #323
Ray: Come on. You've seen me lay down the law, right?
Frank: I've seen 당신 lay down.
Contributed 의해 evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 717 - Meeting The Parents #324
Frank: Dear Lord, please keep this in-law family the hell away from me!
Hank: And 당신 can stay the heck away from us, too.
Frank: 당신 can say "heck" all 당신 want, He knows 당신 mean "Hell"!
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 718 - The Plan #403
[After Robert messes up the wedding invitations]
Amy: And what's this? 'Attire optional?' It's supposed to be 'black tie optional.' 'Attire optional' means 'maybe naked'! There's going to be nude people... at the church... on a Wednesday!
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com





[Everybody Loves Raymond] 720 - Who's Next? #325
Marie: 당신 stay away from my husband!
Frank: Marie, we were just talking.
Marie: 당신 weren't just talking, 당신 were picturing her naked.
Frank: Get out of my head, Woman!
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 722 - Baggage #401
Debra: I have to do everything around here! I swear, if I don't do it, then it doesn't get done!
Frank: Well, that's because...now, take it easy...-that's how it's supposed to be.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 803 - 집 From School #326
Michael: I don't have any homework!
Ray: Woahwoahwoawoa... who do 당신 think you're dealing with here huh? I may seem stupid, but that's just to get your mother to not ask me to do stuff, okay?... I know all the angles pal, I know all the excuses. If my dog Shamsky had eaten as much homework as I said he woulda pooped the encyclopedia britannica.
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 803 - 집 From School #327
Michael: I went up to the teacher to ask her a question, and I accidentally said "Mommy."
Ray: 당신 called the teacher "Mommy?" Why? Was the teacher yelling?
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 804 - Misery Loves Company #311
Robert: You're so closed off. Holding your wife's hand could be pleasurable for you. And 더 많이 importantly, it might allow her to feel wanted and loved 의해 you.
Raymond: How does that get me out of laundry?
Robert: If 당신 could connect with your wife emotionally, then perhaps 당신 wouldn't see doing laundry as a chore. 당신 might do it willingly, for her, as a gesture of love.
Raymond: 당신 are an idiot wrapped in a moron.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 814 - Lateness #328
Debra: 당신 used to think I was worth waiting for.
Ray: 당신 were worth waiting for, but after fifteen years, 당신 should be here 의해 now!
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 816 - Security #329
Marie: Since when is there a law against me expressing my feelings?
Frank: I've been trying to pass that legislation for years.
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 821 - The Model #330
Marie: I always thought Robert was a looker.
Frank: I always thought he was 더 많이 of a "look at that."
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #331
Debra: Look at all the scribbles on this notebook! "Tommy and Ally Forever," "Ally Hearts Tommy," "Ally Sanders."
Ray: Oh, look. 당신 see? That's not even Ally's notebook.
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #332
Amy: 당신 know, Deb, every child goes through this rebellious phase. I did. One time, in Church choir, we were all supposed to sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus," and my 프렌즈 and I sang "What a Friend We Have in Cheeses!"
Contributed 의해 Courtney E


[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #333
Robert: What about when I was 13 years old, and my 농구 coach called me "The Useless Giraffe?"
Frank: 당신 were six foot five. 당신 couldn't grab a couple of rebounds?
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 905 - Ally's F #334
Ray: If x equals lame, that guy is 4 times x!
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 906 - Boys' Therapy #335
[Frank is 읽기 a paper on the track horses]
Frank: we gotta bet this horse. It's unbeatable! It's unstoppable.
Robert: Marie's Mouth
Ray: This is a sign!
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 911 - The Faux Pas #336
Debra: I want to assure 당신 that Marie does not speak for all of us.
Frank: No, she just speaks 더 많이 than all of us.
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[Everybody Loves Raymond] 912 - Tasteless Frank #337
Frank: Hey, could 당신 pass the salt?
Marie: What did 당신 say?
Frank: I want to put some salt on this.
Marie: In 47 years of marriage, you've never salted my lasagna!
Frank: Marie, it's bad enough it needs it. 당신 gotta remind me how long we've been married?
Contributed 의해 evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 912 - Tasteless Frank #338
Robert: 당신 know, Dad, I have to say, I'm surprised that 당신 can't appreciate the interplay of these flavors--the smokiness of the ham, delicately contrasting with the sweetness of the egg custard.
Frank: Why don't 당신 put on a dress and do a dance?
Contributed 의해 evilcheese



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 913 - Sister-In-Law #339
Amy: I should've realized guys just want to watch TV and be left alone.
Frank: Amy, will 당신 marry me?
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 914 - The Power Of No #340
Robert: Yeah, I always know when Amy's in the mood, cause she gives me this little sly smile.
Ray: Yeah... I think she's saying hurry up and get it over with.
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 914 - The Power Of No #341
Ray: It's like the 더 많이 I turn her down, the 더 많이 she wants it. She's like a guy!
Contributed 의해 Courtney E



[Everybody Loves Raymond] 914 - The Power Of No #342
Robert: I'm going to help Amy pick out drapes.
Ray: If there's any material left over, maybe 당신 can make yourself a little skirt.
Contributed 의해 Courtney E