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The most 랜덤 thing ever made - me and my friend talking on 페이스북 chat. Brace yourself for an undescribable dose of epicness.

H - Hattress
E - Her Friend Emily

H: Why do 당신 call me and not say anything?
초 time in a row?

E: When did I call you?
Probably my sister was playing.

H: That explains a lot.
Many people call me 의해 accident because I'm first on their contacts list. (my name starts with a)

E: Was she 노래 "Hallelujah"?

H: Nope.
There were only some creaks
and kind of a distant scream
I thought that maybe you're being murdered.

E: Because we've got a torture chamber in our basement, but don't worry.

H: Ok.

E: I was talking with Alex through Skype

H: And?

E: Well, she was eating a Satino 푸딩 and Maria was sitting 다음 to her because it was her account and she wanted to see everything and then her father went in and I hid behind the webcam then Alex went away she said she'll be back soon and Maria got disconnected and that's the end.

H: A fascinating conversation, milady.
I find your point of view on the cat's case truly curious.

E: Oh yeah, they were trying to force Elvis (the cat) to speak.
That was terrible.
They will torment him to death.

H: poor Elvis

E: Hey, isn't he already dead?

H: How come?
Elvis lives!

E: I bet the cat's his incarnation.

H: That's for sure.

E: I think they force him to sing everyday when he thought he'd finally find peace as a cat.

H: Cause us human beings are like parasites
We'll even force a cat to sing.

E: Hey, didn't they want to castrate him?!

H: They did
But I'm planning to castrate my cat as well
It's... natural

E: But he's ELVIS

H: But they may not realise their cat's true identity

E: Who cares 당신 can't just go and castrate an ex-human being
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by deathchick9
Over the many years of pikachu,if 당신 look closely 피카츄 has been getting thinner and thinner.When it started he was this cute,fat little chunk of Pokemon,but now he's a skinny little freak.Which can only me one thing....Ash has forced him to become bulimic!
*Dramatizations*
____________________________________
Ash:Jeez,Pikachu your so fat!

Pikachu:Pika?

________________________

Ash:Loose some weight 당신 fat bastard!

Pikachu:Pika?!
_________________________________________

Ash:No stop eating!Your just gonna get fatter!

*Ash shoves his finger down pikachu's throat to make him vomit his 음식 up.Pikachu...
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posted by melcu
1. Sing the 배트맨 theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 프렌즈 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If 당신 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours 의해 hooking a 캠코더 to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal 의해 conspicuously licking...
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posted by ihavOTD
 I am Anti- Miley because of this:
I am Anti- Miley because of this:
OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that 당신 can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can 날짜 Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do 당신 realize how crazy and gross a lot of 팬 are???? Here is a gross 기사 about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached 의해 “Gross”, “Bleeding”...
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added by SheWolf11
Source: I DO NOT OWN THIS IMAGE
Similar to "30 Things To Do During An Exam." 검색 for it in this club, it's way funnier. Apologies if this list is a little outdated.

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 분 & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that 당신 can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat...
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added by totoyo25
added by tdacrazy6
Source: Tumblr
posted by Bluekait
Example:

There's someone knockin' on my door

There in the shadows, looks like a hand

Come to the rescue now

Once there was a man who decided he knew everything

Life's been so good to me

I went to see what I could find

당신 never lived in the streets though 당신 wish 당신 had

I'm so sorry, please forgive me

Living in the sixth dimension

Over time I've come to feel

------------------------------------------------------------------

If 당신 need help 또는 another example for a better understanding, let me know.
added by CokeTheUmbreon
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Langley, West Virginia.

Commander Kane: *Walks up to Ted* How are the new watches coming out?
Ted: I think you'll be pleased with the work me, and Mabel did. 의해 the way, how's Johnny doing?
Commander Kane: We found a replacement who's willing to use his name to protect his identity.

Sundsvall Sweden. Johnny Lightning was driving south on the Sundsvallbron. A bridge that was part of the E4 highway. His car was a shiny silver Alfa Romeo.

Johnny: *Smiling as he looks at himself in the rear view mirror. He then sees a red Nissan close to him*

The red car overtook him, and a black man pointed a MP7 at...
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 Yes 당신 are.
Yes you are.
Good 일 everyone.

I just wanted to quickly write this 기사 after thinking about it last night because I couldn't help but to feel the need to say something to everyone who is struggling with life.


Life is tough? yeah it fucking is man!! but guess what if your thoughts are stuck negatively 당신 going nowhere in progress you'll only sink 더 많이 and 더 많이 into depression.


Even if 당신 feel 당신 couldn't!!!! get a grip and try a hundred times never give up.

It's impossible to go 앞으로 without one strong step from you.

Somehow you'll manage, learn how to trick your brain into positive thinking it will...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In the United Kingdom, a dark green Jaguar F-Type was chasing a Toyota Tundra.

British Agent: *Driving the F-Type* Goal Keeper, this is Chelsea. I'm in pursuit of the bandits.
MI6 Operator: Chelsea, this is Goal Keeper, we're tracking your progress so far. Don't let them escape with those plans.
British Agent: Roger sir. I won't let 당신 down.
MI6 Clerk: *Walks towards the Operator* What plans did they steal from us?
MI6 Operator: Plans for a special motorcycle with a hang glider.
MI6 Clerk: *Looks at the Operator's computer screen* What's that to the right of Chelsea?
MI6 Operator: It looks like a...
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When I was a teenager, I tried to be a film reviewer. I would write user reviews on a website called Common Sense Media. The problem was that I didn't know what I was talking about, yet I kept 글쓰기 reviews. On Common Sense Media, there was an option for users to rate films on a five-star basis. One 별, 스타 is the lowest and five stars is the highest.

After seeing my old reviews for the first time in years, I cringed. However, I quickly got over that and got amused over my failed attempts at being a reviewer. I thought I'd share some of my most odd reviews. Keep in mind that I no longer mean...
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added by TheLefteris24
video
랜덤
음악
슈렉
saxophone
awesome
sexy
meme
added by Blaze1213IsBack
Be me. Age 9. My brother’s birthday comes up and for it, he gets a copy of Tony Hawk Underground. I watch him play it for a bit and am amazed 의해 the character creator, insane tricks, and how much I hate Eric Sparrow. Sneak into his room while he’s at work. Try to play Tony Hawk Underground. Fail miserably. Finally manage to get the tricks down. Brother walks in from work. Mfw.jpeg. Immediately gets punched in the stomach and thrown out…. Tony hawk everyone.



Legendary skater and now a family man who is going through an existential crisis, he was the man who revolutionized skateboarding...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
Well, that's an interesting transition.
video
랜덤
음악
song
funny
posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!

It was a nice evening in Mobius with a beautiful sunset. Sonic was at the 바닷가, 비치 with Amy, even though he hated water.

Amy: We found a lot of sand dollars.
Sonic: And shells. This collection we'll start will be way past cool.
Amy: 당신 haven't said that in a long time.
Sonic: You're right, I haven't. Now let's act like we're in a romantic movie from the 70's, and run 의해 the water.
Amy: But I can't run as fast as you.
Sonic: We'll only run ten miles an hour.

And so they did. As they were running, Amy decided to ask Sonic something.

Amy: It's...
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