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1.Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2.While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3.Every time 당신 turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

4.Go up to the manager and tell him 또는 her that you've 로스트 your mommy.

5.While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6.Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles - and around corners - with a magnifying glass.

7.While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he 또는 she has anything for body lice.

8.After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, "My buns are squishy!"

9.While arguing with an invisible friend, 당신 proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.

10.Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.

11.Ask the deli clerk how much potato 샐러드 it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.

12.Fake cell phone conversation: "Doctor, I couldn't possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!"

13.Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.

14.Tell the checkout cashier that 당신 have to hurry, 또는 your spaceship will leave without you.

15.Tell the checkout bagger that 당신 knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.

16.Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.

17.On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help 당신 clean the snow from your car.

18.Tell a customer that you're from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.

19.Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red "A".

20.Ask a clerk if 당신 can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.

21.Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.
22.Tell one of the lobsters that you've brought the potion to turn him back into a man.

23.Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, "Boo!"

24.Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.

25.When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.

26.Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette - and get great satisfaction from it.

27.Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.

28.Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with 당신 and activate it every couple of minutes.

29.Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake - he was just in your pocket a 분 ago.

30.While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book - be sure to turn the pages.

31.Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of 크래커 would go best with it.

32.Shout out, "OK, who squeezed my melons?!"

33.If 당신 see someone offering samples, keep circling like a 상어 and snatch snacks at each pass.

34.Invite other customers to 가입하기 당신 in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.

35.Go up to a dead 물고기 on ice, sob and say, "We were supposed to be married on Saturday!"

36.In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, "Food fight!"

37.Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.

38.Squirm around a lot and shout, "Quick - where's the hemorrhoid cream?"

39.Pick up bananas at random; act as though you're on the phone and say, "Sorry, wrong number!"

40.Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, "I thought I told 당신 to wait in the car!"

41.Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how 당신 get the flea to hold still so that 당신 can put it on him.

42.Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.

43.Every time 당신 pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.

44.Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.

45.As 당신 pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, "You're out of your head!"

46.Pick up a jar of pickled pig's feet and - in a distraught voice - say, "Oh, no! It's Babe!"

47.As 당신 pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.

48.Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 as 당신 go through the store.

49.Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they're all getting bruised.

50.Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.


If anyone becomes seriously concerned about your mischievous behavior 또는 sincerely complains, assure them that you're simply doing a study on human reactions and thank them for being a good sport.This will usually defuse a potentially sensitive situation and get people giggling a bit.Whatever 당신 do, just remember not to seriously 십자가, 크로스 any boundaries, 또는 당신 might find yourself in a predicament.
added by ilovehinder
okay im gonna write in a special way

girls that are goth
they hate jocks
they hate it when u talk about sports
they hate it when u talk to much
they never want to do anything when their in a mood
they dont watch american idol
they dont like u to talk about american idol
they hate it when u say "why do u always wear black?"
they hate it when u bring them flowers
they hate it when u try to "make moves"
they hate it when u bring them to parties with people she doesn't know

girls that are smart
they like it when u say "your smartness is cute"
they hate it when u defer her smartness
they dont like it when u...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn 당신 said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, 유니콘

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because 뱀파이어 are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The 타이타닉

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your 책 are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous


Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. 당신 have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets 당신 a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If 당신 want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if 당신 are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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10. Blind People Dream

People who become blind after birth can see 이미지 in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion. It is hard for a seeing person to imagine, but the body’s need for sleep is so strong that it is able to handle virtually all physical situations to make it happen.

9. 당신 Forget 90% of your Dreams

Within 5 분 of waking, half of your dream if forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone. The famous poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, woke one morning having had a fantastic...
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1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

2. get your sister 또는 brother a drink put pepper in it....

3. play all your 음악 really load

4. blackmail them O.o

5. act like a cow.

6. lick them O.o

7. give them a 빵 샌드위치

8. set their alrm for two in the morning

9. bite them

10. flush the toilet when their in the shower

11. ding ding ditch their room

12. eat their food

13. be right in their face when they wake up

14 sit on them

15. put your cat 또는 dog on their face see if the animal farts in their face XD
added by TheLefteris24
added by TheLefteris24
added by TheLefteris24
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added by shaneoohmac13
So I bet'cher thinking all high and mighty in your chair at this very moment something along these lines....

"Pink badass? HAH! 당신 couldn't tell the difference between 담홍색, 핑크 and a barn-sized lightning-rod! :D"

And you'd be right, normally.....

DAMN IT.

But here's the thing, have 당신 ever REALLY taken the time to think about it? Like, why 담홍색, 핑크 has the reputation it does as of right now?

Hell, even SAYING the word, it sounds pretty lame. Pink.

Like, PINK! It sounds like a 바비 인형 porno spin-off, LAME!

But once 당신 venture a bit deeper into the realm of Pink, you'll find some pretty damn cool stuff.

An...
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