As he boarded the plane for Mexico he had a lot going through his mind. He was anxious to get to Mexico because he had not been able to get in touch with anyone to make sure everything was ok.

He had found the time to write a 초 letter to Cuddy. He was doing his best to work through his feelings. He didn;t know if she would read the letters. He wasn't even sure he would be able to get it to her." He pulled the letter out to read it one 더 많이 time to see if he really wanted to send it.

Cuddy,

I've been back a few months and everything is so different. I realize 더 많이 than ever how special the teams that were built at Princeton were. The hospital is in such disarray and financial crisis. I realize how special we all were together.

I met a family while in Mexico and there was an eight 년 old. He found me in a drunken stupor with no money and an infected leg. I think I was close to dying. He brought me 음식 and took care of me. He got me to a village that was mainly an orphanage and there a doctor treated the infection and my addiction.

As I got to know the doctor I told him that I had been a doctor and I had some issues that made it impossible for me to go home. He didn't 질문 me and told me he would help me if I would help him. I stayed and helped him with the kids. They were so young and their parents couldn't take care of them so they had just brought them to the orphanage and left them.

None of those kids were unhappy though. They were all so grateful to have people taking care of them. One night I got up and I could hear one of them crying and when I found the one crying it was the little boy who had helped me. His name was Rafael. He was having trouble breathing and after doing the limited testing they have available I found it was a 심장 defect.

I couldn't fix him and I couldn't get him a transplant. I had Dominica doing as much as she could from the states and she would mail me as much medicine as she could get her hands on. I was doing some doctoring for some of the richer sect to make money and get my hands on extra drugs for Rafael and the other children.

When I got the call that said 당신 had dropped the charges I thought maybe I would be able to get Rafael a 심장 transplant so I came back. That was my first thought.
My 초 thought was how you've always looked past all my actions to see my why I did the things I did. 당신 loved me sacrificially much like the children in the orphanage loved their parents. But that is the whole thing 당신 were not my parent.You wanted to be my partner.

I took advantage for years of the fact that 당신 wanted to "help" me, to "fix" me. 당신 gave me every reason to drop my guard and to trust you. I couldn't take a chance that 당신 would see who I was. That 당신 would see me and decide.............
I think I knew I would lose 당신 but at least it was because of something I did and not that 당신 "saw me: and decided I wasn't what 당신 wanted.

I was incapable of trusting anyone with all of my 심장 but I think 당신 incapable of trusting me. The fact that 당신 were waiting on me to screw up made it harder for me to do anything else.

"I also think that 당신 kept me at arms length." 당신 didn't tell me what 당신 wanted. I was out there spinning trying to figure out what to do and 당신 didn't tell me I was close to losing 당신 또는 how 당신 felt. 당신 yelled, 당신 shut the door on me, but 당신 didn't talk to me.

When I did things that I knew would bother 당신 your reaction was different than it had ever been. If it was something I didn't want to do I found a reason to bail out. I drank to get away from the things I was worrying about. 당신 wanted to know I could handle pressures and I showed 당신 that I couldn't. I thought 당신 would talk and that 당신 would open up but 당신 never did.

I did take vicodin so I wouldn't have to feel the fear that 당신 were feeling but I was really believed 당신 were dying and that I just had to be there.

I pushed 당신 for years and I did cruel things. I put 당신 through hell. I think we started this relationship with too much baggage. 당신 finally said enough is enough. I am so sorry that I could have hurt Rachel 또는 you. I told 당신 that 일 that it wasn't your fault but I didn't believe that.

I know now that most of this was my fault.

Thank 당신 for dropping the charges. Thank 당신 for loving me. I really do hope 당신 are happy.

P.S.Lisa I ..............I do 사랑 you. I still miss your touch. I miss "you." If I could do it over I would do so many things differently.


House

As he folded the letter he put it in the zipper part of his carry on.


As the plane touched down House stood up to get his carry on and he didn't realize that the letter fell out. He also didn't notice that Lucas had been on the flight.