트와일라잇 시리즈 Article: Edward is a girl?! :O

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posted by Spotty_Vision21

I have come to a logical conclusion from some data I reviewed. Edward is not in fact Edward, but a female Edwina.

1.    Meyer claims “his” ability to knock up Bella is because they are like the incubi. Incubi were pretty much sex demons who knocked up innocent women. Why could they do so? They could change into succubi, the female version of the incubi and would sleep with men to steal their sperm.

2.    “He” wears lipstick. 뱀파이어 are dead. They do not have blood flow. And yet “his” lips are darker than Bella’s.

3.    “He” has moodswings similar to those from pregnant women and PMSing women.

4.    “He” glitters. ‘Nuff said on that one.

5.    “He” refuses to sleep with Bella. Is “he” perhaps hiding “his” girl parts?

6.    “He” demands marriage. No guy EVER does that.

7.    “He” makes out with Bella all the time but never gets “excited” in his pants.

8.    “He” is a little *too* romantic.

9.    “He” was totally stripping for those Italian guys.

10.    “He” was never attracted to Rosalie even though most guys got excited just thinking about her.

11.    In addition to “his” mood swings, “he” frequently overreacts... and speaks like “he” reads too many classic novels about old white ladies in corsets.

12.    “He” is a vegetarian.

13.    “He” relates to girls rather too well.

So, in conclusion, either Edward is Edwina, 또는 a raging, flaming, extremely gay man.

gelele, teamjane99 and 26 others like this

21 more comments

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leuron The fact that I identify with girls in many things doesn't mean I am a girl...

DarkSarcasm *is amused* XD

leuron At least I amuse you ;)

DarkSarcasm Always, M. Always. =P

edennirvana LMAO! 5 stars Spotty! ...and Jody, you certainly amuse me, LOL!

shortynme Wow, there are a lot of angry feelings going on in here. lol Can I just say that this article is obviously for laughs, nothing else. Unlike traditional Vampires, Stephenie Meyer has created her own version so any pre determined rules for them really can't apply (succubi and incubi included). Lets all just get a long and be friends :)

Nyssa LoL twilight825, I hope you're joking. If not, just chill girl! ;D Btw, for my part, I was joking - I'm finding this pretty funny actually.

Spotty_Vision21 Yeah, some people aren't being very nice. Lawl, they said [i]I[/i] had the crush on Edward. And yet they blow up when I made an article making fun of him

twilight825 yeah im joking my fingers were hurting but i got alot of ppl to add as a fan or waatever.... spotty Nyssa and more.... lol... spotty i give u props it is kinda funny lol my friend shortynme is right lets jus get along... one thing for sure i think Taylor Laurtner is hot and so is rob.and Kellan and Jackson... anyone agree roflol!

bellamay okey what i don't get is why u made Edward(a HOTTIE)as a girl! well i guess the lips are something aren't they? well just please don't talk about him. it's not right! would u like it if someone called you a boy.(pissed off!)

Spotty_Vision21 Actually I don't care when I am referred to as a boy. It makes me smile 'cause I know I'm not one of those preppy, make-up, short-skirt girls.

spikes_girl ^^ Same here Spotty! Great article, made me laugh so much (and I'm an Edward fan)!

675 lol, not alot of people appriciated this.

wildcatz Sorry spotty but edward is hot and obviously not a girl .It's still funny though.Next time you should make one of jacob being a girl.LOL jk.

rachel-rathbone OMG OK I LOVE TWILIGHT BUT THAT IS FUNNY MAYBE WE JUST TO EXEPT HE IS STILL THE PERFECT MAN FOR EVERYONE

Spotty_Vision21 Not for everyone dear. In your opinion he is a git to womankind. In my opinion he is a bipolar abusive stalker. We're all entitled to our opinions and I respect yours. :)

dangjessica Hahaha, now that you say it: soo true. Maybe Bella isn't that hott to get him "excited" in his pants.

Dragonclaws Cute. I was thinking of writing a humor piece putting it the other way, that Edward is a boy and Jacob is a girl. Edward is aggressive all the time, while Jacob is aggressive sporadically, linking to his wolf side, and werewolves traditionally being associated with the moon... Yeah, something like that.

-HuddyLove- Ha. I think it's hilarious how Edward fans get so worked up over this.

BellaCullenHale 1.That's Stupid as hell. 2.The blood dyes his lips that color. 3.He doesn't have moodswings. 4.His skin glitters,its hot not gay when your a vampire. 5.He's too strong for that,she's human he loves her and doesn't want to hurt her. 6.He loves her and has been waiting for like 90 years to find the girl he loves&&he found her so of course he'd want to marry her. 7.No guy ever does that unless they were gonna do somthin else after. 8.He was born in 1901,of course he's romantic think of when he was raised. 9.He wasen't stripping he was revealing himself to the humans,and btw their called The Volturi. 10.bc rosalie is stuck up. 11.Thats juss stupid. 12.He's vegitarian bc of Carsisle. 13.No he doesnt. I think it's pathetic that someone would take the time to write this bs. I wonder is your really think he's gay or you just saw taylor lautner??? I respect TeamJacob ppl but thats juss stupid. Di you even read the books before you wrote this??? ''Those italian guys'' I mean really? Read before you dish out bs.

DarkSarcasm LOL, children. LOL. XD

hannatl hehe dat is funny!

lyn0815 wow people get upset over nothing lol. I found it funny way to go spotty. i loved it. 5 *****

filand don't know why people getting their knickers in a twist. this was obv jus done for light hearted fun. i'm a massive twilight fan but thought it was hilarious. but then again i do have a sense of humour and know that twilight isn't real so get a grip people. it's not as if spotty dissed your grandma is it? hee hee

ninoska12 jerk. that is sooo not true. you must be talking about your self.overgrown dickface.

2

another emmett cullen 사랑 story chapter 2

posted by karpach_13

Emmett Chapter 2

As 당신 walk to your car, 당신 kept getting the feeling somene was watching you. 당신 go to shut your door when Emmett came on the passenger side and said "I thought 당신 were going to give me a ride?!" laughing. 당신 laugh a little bit. "I didnt know 당신 meant today. Go ahead and get in." Emmett then gets in the your car and 당신 pull out of the school parking lot. As you're driving up to your house Emmett asks "Where are we going?" 당신 say "I'm just going to tell my mom that I'll be out until tonight with a guy I met at school." Emmett went from smiling to straight faced and said...

1

emmett cullen 사랑 story chapter 13

posted by karpach_13

Sabrina ended up sleeping in 당신 guys room. Emmett sat her on the 침대 and 당신 and him went hunting. 당신 guys was out for like 8 hours. 당신 guys got back and it was 7 in the morning. 당신 woke Sabrina up and Emmett went to enroll her into school. 당신 waited for him to get back. Alice, Rose, and Esme went shopping. Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper went on a hunting trip. So, that left 당신 and Emmett the house. 당신 heard him pull up. 당신 turned off the T.V. and he came in.
You: So how did it go?
Em: Good. Where is everyone?
You: Edward, Jasper,and Dad went hunting. Alice, Rose and Mom went shopping.
He...

1

things to do when you're sad

posted by karpach_13

Here are some ideas to help kick a rotten 일 to kingdom come…

Do something good for someone else, even though 당신 may not want to. Do a favour, help them find something, give them an item which will help them in some way. Start the flow of positive energy.

Eat the best 초콜릿 당신 can get your hands on. In bed. 또는 in the bath.

Turn up 음악 당신 really love. Play it so loudly that it soaks in through your skin. Dance in your pyjamas. Feel the pain lift.

Have a romance in your head.

Volunteer.

Buy a remote control for your camera & dip your toes into the pool of narcissism.

Call a friend...

2

Renn and Jakes Life Renn's Birthday Flashback part 3 of 3

posted by WritenOnTheSand

I opened the window, and slid my self through quietly. My room was dark, and the only thing I could see was my clock. It said 5:34 a.m. I had managed to make it back before 6:00, when my family was getting back.

I walked over to my bedside table, and turned on my lamp. I jumped back when I saw Aunt Rose sitting on my bed.

"What are 당신 doing here?" I stepped back and set my bag on the 표, 테이블 beside me.

"I knew that something was up, so I came back. And when 당신 weren't home, I waited for you." She remained on my 침대 with her hands in her lap.

I looked down, and rubbed my hand on my head.

"I had...

1

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 5~ [FIFTEEN]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[FIFTEEN]
"So, let me get this straight." I said, looking at Shropee. "One of us will become a spy, the other will be a super sneak, the other one will be blue print locater?"
"Yes, no figure out who is what, and 당신 need to leave 의해 midnight tonight while everyone is asleep. I'll be up, and hand 당신 the appropriate tools 당신 will need on this quest, and then 당신 will come back with all of your recollections, and I will take them from you, analyze, and solve the puzzle."...

2

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 5~ [THIRTEEN]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[THIRTEEN]
    We got back, and everyone was playing the Xbox and some were even eating 또는 just talking. A few were playing board games, some were sleeping, some were just hanging out, while we, we were being afraid. Afraid of what's to come, afraid of what we'll face. We went to Jerek's room, and we all began talking about this new race of our lives.
    "Should we tell anyone?" Tabra asked.
    "We'll need there help." I added.
    "Yea....

3

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 5~ [TWELVE]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[TWELVE]
"So, what did 당신 figure out?" Jerek asked, and I stood back against the 벽 with Tabra.
"I figured out that the initials mean 당신 guys, so 당신 are in danger. I don't know who from though, they must have hired someone to cover there prints and tracks. This came from no where. And I mean that it was specifically made for this specific message. The knife, how it curves at the 상단, 맨 위로 to the right and goes flat as if 당신 cut off the tip, means Death at Dawn. Which,...

2

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 5~ [EIGHT]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[EIGHT]
    "And what makes 당신 say that?" Tabra asked.
    "Well, I found this, outside this morning as I was getting my mail." Jerek went over to his desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a knife.
    That's weird, I never saw Jerek leave to get the mail - CYD! So, not the point right now! Oh, yea.
    Jerek came over to us with a 칼, 나이프 in his hands, and three words were engraved onto it in a firey gold color: 당신 WILL PAY!
    "Well,...

7

Young Love.CH.8

posted by decullen

Everyone who are going to the wedding tomorrow are at a restaurant for the rehearsal dine.We all gave them a little speech.My mam and dad wanted to talk to me.

"What 당신 want to say 당신 can say here."I said.Why cant they just get over it.

"How did 당신 get pregnant?"She said.Everyone was watching us and listing.I laughed.

"Ha,well it was the same way 당신 did but with a different person."I said really cocky.

"very immature Bella.Why did 당신 keep it?"She said It sounded like she could cry.

"The same reason 당신 kept me."I could hidey speak.I started to walk to the toilet.

"Where are 당신 going?"My mam...

1

WIN Bella's Engagement Ring

posted by vampireempire

Official contest launches Saturday June 26, 2010.

WIN BELLA'S ENGAGEMENT RING!

Submission topic 'Why I 사랑 Edward Cullen' 또는 'Why I Want Edward Cullens Ring' 또는 anything about EDWARD CULLEN may consist of any ORIGINAL content including fanfiction, fanart, 시 and 또는 your personal reason/story.

link

The Edward Cullens ring as decribed in the Twilight saga is yellow gold however the winner of the contest will have their choice of either white gold 또는 yellow.

This is going to be FUN, FUN, FUN!

Contest begins Saturday June 26, 2010 and ends Sunday July 11, 2010.

Good Luck!

6

the follow up to a beautiful death part 14

posted by xroylex

beeing part vampire gave me the speed being part human gave me tiedness so onse i reached italy i could feel it starting. i couldnt feel it much though.
i walked to the phile of stair i have only heard so little about. which led down to the hallway that i have only seen onse before. knocking on the big door.
"come in" a voice called
taking a deep breath i slowly began to open the door.
"oh renesmee what a delight to see 당신 hear" as i entered the room a bunch of people had there heads together but as soon as my name was mentioned three heads snapped up.
"aro" i nodded
"it great to see 당신 again....

6

Kayla's Visions, Chapter 39

posted by twilight-7

A few days later…

“Are 당신 sure you’re okay?” Alice asked me. Her golden eyes narrowed as she read my face.
I forced a nod and a smile while I waited for the pain to subside after another kick from the baby. Her nudges had now turned into kicks and they were becoming 더 많이 painful. Each little movement from her resulted in one of my internal organs getting a beating.
I was sat in the living room of the Cullen household, with Alice, Rosalie and Esme. They were given guard duty 의해 Edward who had gone hunting with his brothers. Alice glanced at Rosalie who glanced at Esme who watched me...

1

the new Begining ch8

posted by sh0rtiinedward

As we run into the woods, a very strong part of me hold me back and yelled at me to comeback home, but i just can't do it, i knew that something was wrong but i had to be with Julius and if my parents didn't like the idea they have to deal with me leaving home

"Rennesme what's wrong 사랑 are 당신 ok" Julius said to me as he 덮개, 랩 me from my waist and 키스 my forehead. i can't understand this pain in his face like if something were wrong, i don't think is me 또는 that he is worried about me.I think is something 더 많이 important and i have to find out what it is.

"yes i just worried, about what's going...

1

the new Begining ch6

posted by sh0rtiinedward

All night i started thinking in Julius, he is the most beautiful thing i ever seen, but there's something about him that make me scare but i don't know what it is.
"Nessi baby, can we talk" i turn around when i hear my dad's voice and i froze, i know that he will tell me that i was grounded of something.
"Mm sure dad, what's up?"
"Well like 당신 know, i know what happen today in the woods, i just want to let 당신 know that I'm not mad at 당신 i just, want 당신 to be happy, and meet new people, but take it easy 당신 know that we have a secret to hide from the real word" he said as he huge me
"i know...

2

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 3~ [THIRTEEN]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Three
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[THIRTEEN]
"Alright, let's begin." Jerek said and started the topic of discussion for the meeting. "You all remember Haus, and his grip of terror over us all. But here we are today, The Alliance, forming against him, for one 일 he shall fall, and we shall win. That day, is sneaking up on us fast. We need to be ready. We need to be quick, agile, ready to kill at will. I don't know how much of an army, 또는 how many people Haus has under his Death Clan of the Fallen, but I will tell 당신 that...

1

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 3~ [TWELVE]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Three
BuffyFaithfan1
_______________________________
[TWELVE]
    Ok, so here is what we figured out: We had to kill Haus, no matter how long it takes us. We have to kill him. Duh, but I mean, we can't wait for him to attack, we have to attack him! But how?
    "Didn't that doctor say he was immortal?" I pointed out and they both nodded.
    "You caught that, huh?" Tabra said and I nodded.
    "Well, he is."
    "How? Is he a God 또는 the son of Nicholas Flamel or...what?"...

2

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. 3~ [ONE]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Three
BuffyFaithfan1
___________________________
[PREVIOUSLY]
Hi, my name is Cyd, short for Cydnee, and one 일 while I was grocery shopping, a former member of the Death Clan of the Fallen threw a 칼, 나이프 at my head. I ducked behind my cart, and ran out of the store once I saw the 칼, 나이프 fly into a bunch of egg cartons. I went home, told my friend Tabra about it, and he came rushing over. He helped me get out of the aftershock feeling, and when we were eating chicken sandwhiches, mine was coated in poison. We then went to his apartment, knowing...

4

Renn and Jakes Life: Renn's Birthday Flashback Part 1 out of Part 3

posted by WritenOnTheSand

( Some of 당신 who have read my 이전 chapters know that in Renn and Jake's Life Chapter 23, I mentioned events of Nessie's "17th" birthday. I decided to write a chapter on the story of that event. I hope 당신 like it! )

I woke up and noticed that it was still dark outside, but I didn't care. Today I, and my family would officially consider me an adult. It felt so good, that I was just jumping with excitement.

I was tired of them making decisions for me. I wanted so bad to be free, and this was my chance.

I glanced towards the window, and could see just barely the reddish tint around the edges...

2

the new Begining ch5

posted by sh0rtiinedward

i didn't know what to do when i saw Jacob in front of my house, so as soon the car stop i got out but as soon he saw me he took off running to the woods, i follow him for 2 분 until he stop.

"I came to fix everything, Bella call me to come and talk to you, but now 당신 have things 더 많이 important" he said very angry and with tears in his eyes, i never saw him like this.
"Jacob I'm sorry, mom never told me anything, and nothing is 더 많이 important than get all thing straight up with you" i said to him as i try to hug him but he 옮기기 right away.
"You know what Rennesme, i have to go, go and have...

2

Hello, My Name Is: Death ~Vol. Two~ [SIX]

posted by BuffyFaithFan1

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Two
BuffyFaithfan1
_________________________
[SIX]
    I ran inside, and the receptionist told me room 10 but to wait a few hours until the doctor told me I could visit him. I went to the waiting room and sat down. The news was on, and I listened as they talked about the Wal-Mart we just fled.
    "Thanks Tammie, it seems that a young girl and her boyfriend have went into this Wal-Mart and murdered innocent people. We have 더 많이 from this survivor Haus Triggsom. Haus?"
    "Thanks Jim, yea I was attacked and...