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posted by cajas
Chapter 23. THE TRUTH
I HAD THE SENSE THAT I'D BEEN ASLEEP FOR A VERY long time—my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly, all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't 옮기기 fast enough… And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the 더 많이 ghastly for their genteel civility. The dream was still strong—I could even remember the names. But the strongest, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the 앤젤 that was most clear.
It was hard to let him go and wake up. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the 둥근 천장, 금고 of dreams I refused to revisit. I struggled with it as my mind became 더 많이 alert, focusing on reality. I couldn't remember what 일 of the week it was, but I was sure Jacob 또는 school 또는 work 또는 something was waiting for me. I inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.
Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure.
I squeezed my eyes 더 많이 tightly shut. I was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. I was so close to waking… any 초 now, and it would be gone.
But I realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for me. The stone arms I imagined wrapped around me were far too substantial. If I let this go any further, I'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, I wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion.
"Oh!" I gasped, and threw my fists over my eyes.
Well, clearly, I'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let my imagination get so out of hand.
Okay, so "let" was the wrong word. I'd forced it to get out of hand—pretty much stalked my hallucinations—and now my mind had snapped.
It took less than half a 초 for me to realize that, as long as I was truly insane now, I might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.
I opened my eyes again—and Edward was still there, his perfect face just inches away from mine.
"Did I frighten you?" His low voice was anxious. This was very good, as delusions went. The face, the voice, the scent, everything—it was so much better than drowning. The beautiful figment of my imagination watched my changing expressions, with alarm. His irises were pitch-black, with bruise-like shadows under them. This surprised me; my hallucinatory Edwards were usually better fed.
I blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure was real. Alice was part of my dream, and I wondered if she had really come back at all, 또는 if that was just the preamble. I thought she'd returned the 일 I'd nearly drowned…
"Oh, crap" I croaked. My throat was thick with sleeping.
"What's wrong, Bella?"
I frowned at him unhappily. His face was even 더 많이 anxious than before.
"I'm dead, right?" I moaned. "I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."
Edward frowned, too. "You're not dead."
"Then why am I not waking up?" I challenged, raising my eyebrows.
"You are awake, Bella."
I shook my head. "Sure, sure. That's what 당신 want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…" I trailed off in horror at what I had done.
"I can see where 당신 might confuse me with a nightmare." His short-lived smile was grim. "But I can't imagine what 당신 could have done to wind up in hell. Did 당신 commit many murders while I was away?"
I grimaced. "Obviously not. If I was in hell, 당신 wouldn't be with me."
He sighed.
My head was getting clearer. My eyes flickered away from his face—unwillingly—for one second, to the dark, open window, and then back to him. I started to remember details… and I felt a faint, unfamiliar blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Edward was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot.
"Did all of that really happen, then?" It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality. I couldn't 덮개, 랩 my head around the concept.
"That depends." Edward's smile was still hard. "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes."
"How strange," I mused. "I really went to Italy. Did 당신 know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"
He rolled his eyes. "Maybe 당신 should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."
"I'm not tired anymore." It was all coming clear now. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"
"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours."
I stretched as he spoke. I was so stiff.
"Charlie?" I asked.
Edward frowned. "Sleeping. 당신 should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window… But, still, the intent was clear."
"Charlie banned 당신 from the house?" I asked, disbelief quickly melting into fury.
His eyes were sad. "Did 당신 expect anything else?"
My eyes were mad. I was going to have a few words with my father—perhaps it would be a good time to remind him that I was over the legal age of adulthood. It didn't matter so much, of course, except in principle. All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition. I turned my thoughts to less painful avenues.
"What's the story?" I asked, genuinely curious, but also trying desperately to keep the conversation casual, to keep a firm grip on myself, so I wouldn't scare him away with the frantic, gnawing craving that was raging inside me.
"What do 당신 mean?"
"What am I telling Charlie? What's my excuse for disappearing for… how long was I gone, anyway?" I tried to count the hours in my head.
"Just three days." His eyes tightened, but he smiled 더 많이 naturally this time. "Actually, I was hoping 당신 might have a good explanation. I've got nothing."
I groaned. "Fabulous."
"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something," he offered, trying to comfort me.
And I was comforted. Who cared what I had to deal with later? Every 초 that he was here—so close, his flawless face glowing in the dim light from the numbers on my alarm clock—was precious and not to be wasted.
"So," I began, picking the least important—though still vitally interesting—question to start with. I was safely delivered home, and he might decide to leave at any moment. I had to keep him talking. Besides, this temporary heaven wasn't entirely complete without the sound of his voice. "What have 당신 been doing, up until three days ago?"
His face turned wary in an instant. "Nothing terribly exciting."
"Of course not," I mumbled.
"Why are 당신 making that face?"
"Well…" I pursed my lips, considering. "If 당신 were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing 당신 would say. My imagination must be used up."
He sighed. "If I tell you, will 당신 finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"
"Nightmare!" I repeated scornfully. He waited for my answer. "Maybe," I said after a 초 of thought.
"If 당신 tell me."
"I was… hunting."
"Is that the best 당신 can do?" I criticized. "That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake."
He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "I wasn't hunting fot food… I was actually trying my hand at… tracking. I'm not very good at it."
"What were 당신 tracking?" I asked, intrigued.
"Nothing of consequence." His words didn't match his expression; he looked upset, uncomfortable.
"I don't understand."
He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the clock, was torn.
"I—" He took a deep breath. "I owe 당신 an apology. No, of course I owe 당신 much, much 더 많이 than that. But 당신 have to know,"—the words began to flow so fast, the way I remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that I really had to concentrate to catch them all—"that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was 안전한, 안전 for 당신 here. So safe. I had no idea that
Victoria,"—his lips curled back when he said the name—"would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much 더 많이 attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now—she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there.
"Not that there's any excuse for what I left 당신 to face. When I heard what 당신 told Alice—what she saw herself—when I realized that 당신 had to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself—he shuddered and the gush of words halted for a short second. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel 당신 안전한, 안전 in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for—"
"Stop," I interrupted him. He stared at me with agonized eyes, and I tried to find the right words—the words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain. They were very hard words to say. I didn't know if I could get them out without breaking down. But I had to try to do it right. I didn't want to be a 출처 of guilt and anguish in his life. He should be happy, no matter what it cost me.
I'd really been hoping to put off this part of our last conversation. It was going to bring things to an end so much sooner.
Drawing on all my months of practice with trying to be normal for Charlie, I kept my face smooth.
"Edward," I said. His name burned my throat a little on the way out. I could feel the ghost of the hole, waiting to rip itself wide again as soon as he disappeared. I didn't quite see how I was going to survive it this time. "This has to stop now. 당신 can't think about things that way. 당신 can't let this… this guilt… rule your life. 당신 can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just part of how life is for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus 또는 whatever it is 다음 time, 당신 have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. 당신 can't just go running off to Italy because 당신 feel bad that 당신 didn't save me. Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and not your fault. I know it's your… your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but 당신 really can't let that make 당신 go to such extremes! It's very irresponsible—think of Esme and Carlisle and—"
I was on the edge of losing it. I stopped to take a deep breath, hoping to calm myself. I had to set him free. I had to make sure this never happened again.
"Isabella Marie Swan," he whispered, the strangest expression crossing his face. He almost looked mad.
"Do 당신 believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"
I could feel the blank incomprehension on my face. "Didn't you?"
"Feel guilty? Intensely so. 더 많이 than 당신 can comprehend."
"Then… what are 당신 saying? I don't understand."
"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought 당신 were dead," he said, voice soft, eyes fierce. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death"—he shuddered as he whispered the last word—"even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been 더 많이 careful—I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?
"The odds…" he muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low I wasn't sure I beard it right. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again."
"But I still don't understand," I said. "That's my whole point. So what?"
"Excuse me?"
"So what if I was dead?"
He stared at me dubiously for a long moment before answering. "Don't 당신 remember anything I told 당신 before?"
"I remember everything that 당신 told me." Including the words that had negated all the rest.
He brushed the tip of his cool finger against my lower lip. "Bella, 당신 seem to be under a misapprehension." He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with half a smile on his beautiful face. It wasn't a happy smile. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where 당신 don't exist."
"I am…" My head swam as I looked for the appropriate word. "Confused." That worked. I couldn't make sense of what he was saying.
He stared deep into my eyes with his sincere, earnest gaze. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be."
I froze, my muscles locking down as if for impact. The fault line in my chest rippled; the pain of it took my breath away.
He shook my shoulder, trying to loosen my rigid pose. "Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for 당신 to believe me so quickly." He winced. "That was… excruciating."
I waited, still frozen.
"When we were in the forest, when I was telling 당신 goodbye—"
I didn't allow myself to remember. I fought to keep myself in the present 초 only.
"You weren't going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince 당신 that I didn't 사랑 당신 anymore, it would just take 당신 that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if 당신 thought I'd moved on, so would you."
"A clean break," I whispered through unmoving lips.
"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be 다음 to impossible—that 당신 would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect 당신 from what I an. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry. "But how could 당신 believe me? After all the thousand times I've told 당신 I 사랑 you, how could 당신 let one word break your faith in me?"
I didn't answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response.
"I could see it in your eyes, that 당신 honestly believed that I didn't want 당신 anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were anu way that I could exist without needing you!"
I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible.
He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but enough that my teeth rattled a little.
"Bella," he sighed. "Really, what were 당신 thinking!"
And so I started to cry. The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my cheeks.
"I knew it," I sobbed. "I knew I was dreaming."
"You're impossible," he said, and he laughed once—a hard laugh, frustrated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I 사랑 you. I have always loved you, and I will always 사랑 you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every 초 that I was away. When I told 당신 that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."
I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he whispered, his face paler than his usual pale—I could see that even in the dim light. "Why can 당신 believe the lie, but not the truth?"
"It never made sense for 당신 to 사랑 me," I explained, my voice breaking twice. "I always knew that."
His eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened.
"I'll prove you're awake," he promised.
He caught my face securely between his iron hands, ignoring my struggles when I tried to turn my head away.
"Please don't," I whispered.
He stopped, his lips just half an inch from mine.
"Why not?" he demanded. His breath blew into my face, making my head whirl.
"When I wake up"—He opened his mouth to protest, so I revised—"okay, forget that one—when 당신 leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too."
He pulled back an inch, to stare at my face.
"Yesterday, when I would touch you, 당신 were so… hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt 당신 too much? Because 당신 have moved on, as I meant for 당신 to? That would be… quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please—just tell me now whether 또는 not 당신 can still 사랑 me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered.
"What kind of an idiotic 질문 is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
I stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about 당신 will never change. Of course I 사랑 you—and there's nothing 당신 can do about it!"
"That's all I needed to hear."
His mouth was on mine then, and I couldn't fight him. Not because he was so many thousand times stronger than me, but because my will crumbled into dust the 초 our lips met. This 키스 was not quite as careful as others I remembered, which suited me just fine. If I was going to rip myself up further, I might as well get as much in trade as possible. So I kissed him back, my 심장 pounding out a jagged, disjointed rhythm while my breathing turned to panting and my fingers moved greedily to his face. I could feel his marble body against every line of mine, and I was so glad he hadn't listened to me—there was no pain in the world that would have justified missing this. His hands memorized my face, the same way mine were tracing his, and, in the brief 초 when his lips were free, he whispered my name. When I was starting to get dizzy, he pulled away, only to lay his ear against my heart. I lay there, dazed, waiting for my gasping to slow and quiet. "By the way," he said in a casual tone. "I'm not leaving you."
I didn't say anything, and he seemed to hear skepticism in my silence.
He lifted his face to lock my gaze in his. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you," he added 더 많이 seriously.
"I only left 당신 in the first place because I wanted 당신 to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping 당신 constantly on the edge of danger, taking 당신 away from the world 당신 belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought 당신 would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only 당신 could be 더 많이 important than what I wanted… what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heaven for that! It seems 당신 can't be
safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."
"Don't promise me anything," I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing… that would kill me. Where all those merciless 뱀파이어 had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.
Anger glinted metallic in his black eyes. "You think I'm lying to 당신 now?"
"No—not lying." I shook my head, trying to think it through coherently. To examine the hypothesis that
he did 사랑 me, while staying objective, clinical, so I wouldn't fall into the trap of hoping. "You could mean it… now. But what about tomorrow, when 당신 think about all the reasons 당신 left in the first place? 또는 다음 month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"
He flinched.
I thought back over those last days of my life before he left me, tried to see them through the filter of what he was telling me now. From that perspective, imagining that he'd left me while loving me, left me for me, his brooding and cold silences took on a different meaning. "It isn't as if 당신 hadn't thought the first decision through, is it?" I guessed. "You'll end up doing what 당신 think is right."
"I'm not as strong as 당신 give me credit for," he said. "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, 또는 even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged 당신 to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."
I grimaced. "Be serious, please."
"Oh, I am," he insisted, glaring now. "Will 당신 please try to hear what I'm telling you? Will 당신 let me attempt to explain what 당신 mean to me?"
He waited, studying my face as he spoke to make sure I was really listening.
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then 당신 shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When 당신 were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded 의해 the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no 더 많이 reason for anything."
I wanted to believe him. But this was my life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.
"Your eyes will adjust," I mumbled.
"That's just the problem—they can't."
"What about your distractions?"
He laughed without a trace of humor. "Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the… the agony. My 심장 hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my 심장 was gone—like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."
"That's funny," I muttered.
He arched one perfect eyebrow. "Funny? "
"I meant strange—I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." I filled my lungs, luxuriating in the sensation. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."
He closed his eyes and laid his ear over my 심장 again. I let my cheek press against his hair, felt the texture of it on my skin, smelled the delicious scent of him.
"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" I asked, curious, and also needing to distract myself. I was very much in danger of hoping. I wouldn't be able to stop myself for long. My 심장 throbbed, 노래 in my chest.
"No." He sighed. "That was never a distraction. It was an obligation."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with… Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil—and really she came here." He groaned. "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears—"
"You were hunting Victoria?" I half-shrieked as soon as I could find my voice, shooting through two octaves.
Charlie's distant snores stuttered, and then picked up a regular rhythm again.
"Not well," Edward answered, studying my outraged expression with a confused look. "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air 의해 breathing in and out for much longer."
"That is… out of the question," I managed to choke out. Insanity. Even if he had Emmett 또는 Jasper help him. Even if he had Emmett and Jasper help. It was worse than my other imaginings: Jacob Black standing across a small 우주 from Victoria's vicious and feline figure. I couldn't 곰 to picture Edward there, even though he was so much 더 많이 durable than my half-human best friend.
"It's too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after—"
I interrupted him again, trying to sound calm. "Didn't 당신 just promise that 당신 weren't going to leave?" I asked, fighting the words as I said them, nor letting them plant themselves in my heart. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"
He frowned. A snarl began to build low in his chest. "I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria"—the snarl became 더 많이 pronounced—"is going to die. Soon."
"Let's not be hasty," I said, trying to hide my panic. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Victoria."
Edward's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "It's true. The 늑대인간 are a problem."
I snorted. "I wasn't talking about Jacob. My problems are a lot worse that a handful of adolescent 늑대 getting themselves into trouble."
Edward looked as if he were about to say something, and then thought better of it. His teeth clicked together, and he spoke through them. "Really?" he asked. "Then what would be your greatest problem?
That would make Victoria's returning for 당신 seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?"
"How about the 초 greatest?" I hedged.
"All right," he agreed, suspicious.
I paused. I wasn't sure I could say the name. "There are others who are coming to look for me," I reminded him in a subdued whisper.
He sighed, but the reaction was not as strong as I would have imagined after his response to Victoria.
"The Volturi are only the 초 greatest?"
"You don't seem that upset about it," I noted.
"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, 또는 even me. They count years the way 당신 count days. I wouldn't be surprised if 당신 were thirty before 당신 crossed their minds again," he added lightly.
Horror washed through me.
Thirty.
So his promises meant nothing, in the end. If I were going to turn thirty someday, then he couldn't be planning on staying long. The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize that I'd already begun to hope, without giving myself permission to do 5.0.
"You don't have to be afraid," he said, anxious as he watched the tears dew up again on the rims of my eyes. "I won't let them hurt you."
"While you're here." Not that I cared what happened to me when he left.
He took my face between his two stone hands, holding it tightly while his midnight eyes glared into mine with the gravitational force of a black hole. "I will never leave 당신 again."
"But 당신 said thirty," I whispered. The tears leaked over the edge. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right."
His eyes softened, while his mouth went hard. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. What choice have I?
I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul."
"Is this really…" I tried to keep my voice even, but this 질문 was too hard. I remembered his face when Aro had almost begged him to consider making me immortal. The sick look there. Was this fixation with keeping me human really about my soul, 또는 was it because he wasn't sure that he wanted me around that long?
"Yes?" he asked, waiting for my question.
I asked a different one. Almost—but not quite—as hard.
"But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your grandmother?" My voice was pale with revulsion—I could see Gran's face again in the dream mirror.
His whole face was soft now. He brushed the tears from my cheek with his lips. "That doesn't mean
anything to me," he breathed against my skin. "You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course…" He hesitated, flinching slightly. "If 당신 outgrew me—if 당신 wanted something more—I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if 당신 wanted to leave me."
His eyes were liquid onyx and utterly sincere. He spoke as if he'd put endless amounts of thought into this asinine plan.
"You do realize that I'll die eventually, right?" I demanded.
He'd thought about this part, too. "I'll follow after as soon as I can."
"That is seriously…"I looked for the right word. "Sick."
"Bella, it's the only right way left—"
"Let's just back up for a minute," I said; feeling angry made it so much easier to be clear, decisive. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me tillI'm thirty"—I hissed the word—"do 당신 really think they'll forget?"
"No," he answered slowly, shaking his head. "They won't forget. But…"
"But?"
He grinned while I stared at him warily. Maybe I wasn't the only crazy one.
"I have a few plans."
"And these plans," I said, my voice getting 더 많이 acidic with each word. "These plans all center around me staying human."
My attitude hardened his expression. "Naturally." His tone was brusque, his divine face arrogant.
We glowered at each other for a long minute.
Then I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, I pushed his arms away so that I could sit up.
"Do 당신 want me to leave?" he asked, and it made my 심장 flutter to see that this idea hurt him, though he tried not to show it.
"No," I told him. "I'm leaving."
He watched me suspiciously as I climbed out of the 침대 and fumbled around in the dark room, looking for my shoes.
"May I ask where 당신 are going.'" he asked.
"I'm going to your house," I told him, still feeling around blindly.
He got up and came to my side. "Here are your shoes. How did 당신 plan to get there?"
"My truck."
"That will probably wake Charlie," he offered as a deterrent.
I sighed. "I know. But honestly, I'll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much 더 많이 trouble can I really getin?"
"None. He'll blame me, not you."
"If 당신 have a better idea, I'm all ears."
"Stay here," he suggested, but his expression wasn't hopeful.
"No dice. But 당신 go ahead and make yourself at home," I encouraged, surprised at how natural my
teasing sounded, and headed for the door.
He was there before me, blocking my way.
I frowned, and turned for the window. It wasn't really that far to the ground, and it was mostly 잔디 beneath…
"Okay," he sighed. "I'll give 당신 a ride."
I shrugged. "Either way. But 당신 probably should be there, too."
"And why is that?"
"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views."
"My views on which subject?" He asked through his teeth.
"This isn't just about 당신 anymore. You're not the center of the universe, 당신 know." My own personal universe was, of course, a different story. "If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."
"A say in what?" he asked, each word distinct.
"My mortality. I'm putting it to a vote."
My name is Edward Mason Juinor i am 18 and have no wife.My parents are constantly asking me to talk to this woman and this woman.They dont understand love.My dad Edward is the town lawer and is rich.All the girls in town fall all over me but i dont like any of them 당신 should not have to changer yourself 또는 show off to get a man to like 당신 they should like 당신 no matter what 당신 are like.I decided today i will go to the book store and buy a new book.I went into the 부엌, 주방 and mother was in there.
"Good morning mother i am off to the book store i will be 집 later"i said and gave her a kiss...
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posted by twilight-7
“Kayla, look at this one!”
“I see it, Alice.”
“Isn’t it just gorgeous!” gushed my sister-in-law. She picked up a dress made of satin blue material and held it against me. I looked down at it, wishing I could go home. But my husband beside me, gently squeezed my hand, reminding me I would not be able to escape.
“Yes,” I smiled at Alice. “Very pretty.”
Alice couldn’t sense my lack of enthusiasm but Edward could. I knew he was trying to cheer me up but a shopping trip wasn’t the best way to do it. He sighed quietly.
“We’ll need to get 당신 a size bigger,” Alice said,...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
I was soo bored, flicking through the channels was pointles i knew i diddnt want to watch tv anyway. the room was soo quiet, i diddnt like it.
edward had woken me up a little while 이전 explaining that his family was going out for about 시간 and a bit for hunting,so i was 집 alone with Tanna. i couldn't hear Tanna show that she was awake, thank god.
i stood up and walked oout the door still wearing yesterdays clothes, now considering that im still human and i still have cravings like one, i went straight to the cupboard, and searched for the first thing that said PIG OUT! I also wanted to...
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*by Stephenie Meyer*



TWILIGHT - chapter 21 - PHONE CALL


I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my 침대 and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.
The clock on the TV said it was just after two in the morning. Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
to darkfairy97! thank you!

i woke.if 당신 called that sleeping. but i diddnt want to move, i was too shocked to move, like i couldn't, paralized . again.
Jacob said that he wasn't going to leave the house after last night, had givin up to continuing carrying on about the scent.
i jsut sat back ,and diddnt reply. i couldn't say a word. my face was numb, my whole body was cut off from me.
i knew that me 연기 this way would give concerns to jacob, but that diddnt matter now. i believe that after seeing Carlisle that Jacob knew who was there last night, but was too afraid of me to ask what happened....
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i am sort of new to the whole 글쓰기 thing and i would really 사랑 it if 당신 would 코멘트 please.


preface

everything i ve been fighting for was going to peaces all my dear 1s the people i couldn`t live without and the people that would be a pain to lose. "can i meet her" what was i ment to do say no? this is like last time when bellas life was 로스트 before my very eyes.
as they stalked fowared i could see there mind set on two things that i would not give up without a fight.

chapter one
the talk

it was a couple of days before the wedding and i was nervous no not cause i wernt readdy well i wernt...
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I mean I understand if someone hates a crazy,neurotic Twilight fan,but to think about 크리스마스 as something as a good chance to insult and quote "piss off" Twi fan,I find it nothing but ridiculous.
Look at this:
"Hate Twilight? Want to piss off a Twilight 팬 this xmas? Stop by
www.planetneonbunny.com and buy one (or more) of our Twilight mocking
t-shirts, £10 each plus reasonable worldwide shipping.Make their xmas lousy!"

Seriously,isn't Xmas suppose to be about 사랑 and sharing with your loved ones?Well obviously not anymore.This is what I see as obsessed Twilight hater,if 당신 hate something...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
My newest and 초 fanfic.Pairing is Emmett/Alice.All human at the beginning.Hope 당신 like this one.Oh and I dedicate the entire story to Paramore-CSI aka Pringles!

Luv ya for 읽기
xoxo bree xoxo

**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**


Once Upon A Time....



Chapter One




Alice POV






I opened my eye's, and gazed out the window.Thankfully last nights rain had stopped.This was wonderful!Almost as if it were another sign that Emmett and I belong together.Today is such a big 일 in our relationship.Today is our One 년 Six 월 aniversary.I pratically jumped fom my 침대 and ran to my...
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posted by e2mma2weasle3
100 ways to annoy the Cullen’s.

1.) Take Jasper to an African American Support center and tell everyone there his full name.

2.) Talk in a really bad Texas ancient when around Jasper.

3.) Tell Carlisle that Esme has been having an affair with Aro Volturi

4.) Dangle Alice's 가장 좋아하는 pair of shoes over your head when 당신 are standing on the opposite side of the boundary line.

5.) Fill Edward's iPod with rap songs

6.) Fill Emmett’s with classical

7.) Tell Alice that Jasper looks at porn

8.) Pay ten guys to look at Rosalie and go "Ewe"

9.) Spray paint Edward's car pink

10.) Tell him it was Alice's idea...
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posted by alybops
Dear Diary
alright well i had a dream the other night.
i'm sitting in my room it's 12:00 and i'm still up thinking about the wedding. "hey bells!"
i jump when i hear jakes voice from the other end of my room.

"o 저기요 jake wat r u doin here?"

"o nuthin. i was just really bored nd i just thought i'd come see 당신 considering that tonight is your last night as bella."

"well 당신 know edward might not change me right after the wedding i mean maybe later. who knows i might even come back from the honeymoon still human."he flinched at the word honeymoon.

"haha maybe."

"well wat's the gossip on the pack?"...
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11. Twinge


He road with me to the Elementary school. He talked about the game and I laughed. He was a great Player, he told me about the scholarship and how it all when away with one spit bone. I got to the school a bit late, Mrs. Martinez eyes Kevin anxiously and she told me about the rose sent to Alison today. I just nodded my head and introduce Aly to Kevin.

“Alison Love, I want 당신 to meet my friend Kevin” I was holding her; she smiled at him and looked at me.

“Hi Kevin” she said in her sweet voice. She would say it to new people and grandpa when she wanted something. I shook my...
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posted by BuffyFaithFan1
Ignornace

BuffyFaithfan1
____________________________________
Chapter Six: Let The Flames Begin...Oh Glory
~PART TWO: I'm Sitting All Alone Feeling Empty~
______________________
I watched as Jake was pulled to his feet, mouth duck-taped shut, hands tied behind his back. As I watched, a 라면 grabbed me 의해 the hair and looked directly into my eyes.
"Lovebirds?" He chuckeled then. "Too bad 당신 didn't make it!"
I felt my hand be tugged behind my back, tied together with rope. And then I felt a 라면 removing the gear and weapons, adding a a cavity 검색 to the list also!
"Hands, hands! Watch the hands!"...
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posted by Alice_Cullen_
Jodelle Micah Ferland, the 14 년 old Vancouver actress, has just been cast to appear in Eclipse. Her role? Well, it is rumored that she will be playing Bree, but we aren't sure yet. "I'm not allowed to say, but I can tell 당신 I am playing a newborn vampire," Jodelle stated. "But I'm not a newborn, I'm newly turned; some people don't get that."

Jodelle also revealed that, "I hadn't heard much about Twilight when it first came out. I'm home-schooled so sometimes I don't hear about things like that. But my 프렌즈 were all freaking out about Twilight and I was like 'What's that?' Now I know what...
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Chapter 1
My name is Sam Devine this is my story of the mysterious race of the ancestors to the universe the guardian 천사 but before we even discover the guardian 천사 we must first meet the first guardian 앤젤 on earth.
At the time I met the first guardian 앤젤 was living at Orgarswick Avenue in Dymchurch located in Kent and it was a Thursday evening I believe and I was feeding my pet rabbits and guinea pigs, they lived in a big shed with a run outside it.
I had locked them up to stop the foxes and other 동물 eating them when suddenly out of nowhere a bright yellow light appeared and...
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posted by WritenOnTheSand
"Come on 당신 two. Let's go inside we have company comming over for diiner." How can me spirts drop so quickly just moments after they were lifted? Grandma Esther's sudden announcement made my stomache turn. I'm not ready for company let alone my grandparents.

"Who's commin Esther?" Grandpa asks as he pushes me into the house.

"The Clearwaters, no Layla your room is the upstairs bedroom to the left. Why don't 당신 take your stuff up." Grandma Esther says as she heads into the small kitchen. The stairs creak as I walk up with my stuff. The door is already open. As I set my bags down I hear Grandma...
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posted by renesmeblack
1. New Story



I was relaxing after hunting with Bella, on a lawn chair outside. The sun was out, so everyone was staying in. I was beginning to go into VampireDaydream mode when I heard a shout from inside.
"Edward! Call off Bella!" Emmett yelled.
I sighed and got up. Inside, Bella was arm wrestling Emmett. But instead of slamming his arm to the table, she was squeezing his hand, hard.
"All I said was, Jacob found an orphan 늑대 in the woods and named it Bella!"Emmett explained.
"You said 더 많이 than that," Bella growled.
Emmett soon gave up and told me the story. I laughed and leaned in to whisper...
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posted by VAMPirella1997
End of part 1:

By the time I pulled up into the garage, I was hyper-ventilating, and shaking form the sobs that racked through me. It hurt very much, but i had come an obvious conclusion. I hated to accept it, but we had to leave. as soon as possible.

Part 2:

I eventually pulled myself together enough to get out of the car, and run into the house. I ran upstairs, calling to Edward. He appeared outside the door to our room. His expression changed from calm and curious to one of worry the 초 he saw me. "Bella?!" He called in alarm. I must have looked terrible. He moved towards me, wrapping...
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posted by Bella_Swan3
-Rosalie-

NOT AGAIN, EDWARD!!!!!!! I thought as loudly as I could. For a vampire with supposedly advanced thinking skills, he sure seemed mentally challenged.

Word of advice: 당신 do NOT dye my hair purple. ESPECIALLY after I recently ALMSOT forgave 당신 for dying it green.

So I 로스트 it and started the chase. Alice followed us, on my side, which immediately made me feel better about the perceived odds of actually catching him. Way better.

-Emmett-

I try refraining from involving myself in the epic struggle between Rose and Ed. Heck, who am I kidding, I all but cheer them on. It's just way too funny...
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posted by renesmeblack
Intro

Mark Sepia isn't your typical loud-rock-at-night-catching-z's-at-noon teen. He lives in the small town of Forks, Washington. And he has a crush on a girl who goes out with a tall, muscular, and older boy, who happens to be a part of the Quileute tribe. But that's not what makes him different. What makes him different is the powers he recieved three hundred years 이전 on his sixteenth birthday. When an experiment of powers went wrong, he was forced to be seventeen forever. Now he must try to win the 심장 of the beautiful half-vampire of his same age, who goes 의해 the name of Renesmee.


1....
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posted by Bella_Cullen902
Bella's P.O.V.





It was like i could not breathe. Like i was just hit in the chest. I started hearing humming noices.

Then i was aware of cold hands touching my wrist for a pulse. Then finally when i could hear who's voices their were in the room, I remembered all about the phone call when i was in my room with Edward....

I was ready to open my eyes...but it was easier said than done. My head hurt and when i had the strengh to open my eyes, i saw Edward looking at me.

Edward and i were the only people in the room. As i blinked I was asked, "Who was that on the phone? I thought it might have been...
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