저기요 can 당신 guys help me out???

I have the first chapter of a new possible story but I want to see if anybody is going to read it...
And I was wondering can 당신 guys read it and tell me what 당신 think in a 코멘트 또는 email?
And I don't no the name yet so can 당신 guys help out with that to? Its not very long 또는 hard to read.Oh and I can give 당신 a link to it.

And there my other story mysterious 사랑 on the spot lilred96's articles.