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posted by SwarlsBarkley
Compiled from the Twitter contest held 의해 @nerdist.

JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses

chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio

sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge

dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s 키스 was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.

bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock

Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up

chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve

Dick_M: yo momma so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue

dtejano: Yo mama’s so masculine, she makes Dumbledore go, “DAAAYYYUMM!”

habcous: yo mamma so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark

HakSolo: your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill

dantelfer: Yo mamma so fat, she has to enchant her panties into a portkey to get out of a chair

dirk_funk: Yo mama so fat it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her

MarioEGarcia: yo mama so poor she went to Honeydukes and put a 초콜릿 frog on layaway

melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat she got stuck in the Floo Network

melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim

MikeDrucker: Yo’ Momma so fat she joined the Death Eaters ’cause she was hungry

MsJG: Yo Momma’s so fugly that even Voldemort won’t speak her name

paulscheer: Yo Mamma is so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck out her soul in one sitting

phirm: Yo Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”

Taborifica: Yo momma so fat even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks

MarioEGarcia Yo momma's so fat the sorting hat assigned her to the House of 팬케이크     

cvgurau: Your momma so dumb, they put the Sorting Hat on her head and all it heard was an echo.     

chris8675309: Your momma so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham

DavidAkers: Yo momma so old, there ain't an Age Line that can stop her.     

elchupahueso: your family's so poor that 당신 make the weaseleys look like the Malfoy's!     

girl_noir: Yo mamma so fat, she splinched herself an' nobody noticed.     

HakSolo: Your mom is so ugly when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.     

hollibo83: yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor screamed "riddikulus"     

MarioEGarcia: Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore     

DavidAkers: Yo momma so ugly, no one can tell when she's an Animagus.

R-Silent: Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake
added by alessiamonari
added by linhousepotter
Source: www.snitchseeker.com
added by alexajaye
Source: daniel radcliffe 팬 sites
added by Brysis
added by Irina92
added by Misstmor
added by PotterGal
added by kathiria82
I will miss Richard Griffiths very greatly. He was a fantastic actor and a great loss. He did an awesome job bringing Vernon Dursley to life the way he did.

Sometimes his true warmth peeked through, as in that one neat scene in the film Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone where he is talking about Sundays being a ‘fine day’ and asks why that is; Harry Melling’s Dudley shrugs his shoulders. Daniel’s Harry asks him if the reason was because there was no post on Sundays, and Richard momentarily dropped the Vernon persona and beamed warmly at him, replying with “Right 당신 are, Harry”...
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I tossed and turned around in 침대 as I tried to fall asleep. It was the 일 before I left for Hogwarts for the new school year. I don’t know whether it was excitement 또는 just that I had forgotten to pack something that kept me from falling asleep. I had packed all my robes, other clothes, 책 and all other stuff the 일 before so that I wouldn’t have to participate in a scavenger hunt with Mum in the morning.
I sighed and turned over in 침대 again. The only 출처 of light I had was the faint light of the crescent moon outside, meaning I couldn’t really see much.
I closed my eyes but sleep...
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posted by AoifeF1
 "I enjoyed playing a real character, someone I really had to transform into definitely."
"I enjoyed playing a real character, someone I really had to transform into definitely."
Emma Watson bristles at the mere mention of the name Hermione Granger.

She has nothing against her one-time alter ego as such, but for 12 years of her life she has had to live the squeaky-clean schoolgirl character from the Harry Potter franchise.

Indeed, since the age of nine when she was first cast in the role, she has lived the magical world of Hogwarts and Hagrids and now shifts uncomfortably in her chair with the reference to the character that made her a household name and turned her life upside down.

"I'm just enjoying now being naughty," she says with a giggle in reference to her new films...
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posted by Flora_Swift
1) Ravenclaw: If you're going to insult me, please be grammatically correct.

2) Gryffindor: Because a friend will cover for you. But a real friend would sit net to 당신 in detention and say that was so worth it.

3) Neville: OMG! I killed Harry Freaking Potter!
SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE:
Voldermort: Nooooooooooooo!!!! I wanted to do it! *sob*

4) Severus Snape is so GOTH "he lives in the dark"

5) The 책 in the resticted section of the libary needs anger management.

6) THINGS THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS 64: First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

7) THINGS THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT...
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All I could see was a magnificent building, with thousands of windows and lights. Many people were walking up the steps to the main entrance. An old man with a long white beard wore purple and silver robes, with a pointed hat to match. He had a list with names over it, ticking them off as the people reached the doors. I walked towards the man, and noticed all of the other people were in robes with a school crest embroidered onto them. I wore only my jeans and tshirt. "Name?" The old man asked me. "Ronald Weasley" I replied and looked at him. He scanned the list and shook his head. "Sorry, young...
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Summary: - He never thought he could 사랑 a girl 더 많이 than he loved Hermione. But he was wrong. He loved her 더 많이 than anybody. He loved her 더 많이 than Hermione.

English is NOT my first language.

DISCLAIMER:- I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. I'm serious.


It was still dark outside. As dark as it could get on a full moon night. Ron Weasley was lying on his 침대 facing the sleeping form of the girl he loved most. Moonlight falling on her face was giving her a strange glow. She was sleeping peacefully; her eyes squeezed shut as if she was having some dream. A blanket was covering her upto her shoulders leaving...
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I got this off another website, check it out:

How do 당신 know you're taking Harry Potter too seriously?

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and 당신 run outside looking for an owl.
당신 ask for a 비, 빗자루 for Christmas.
당신 sort everyone 당신 meet into the four Hogwarts houses.
당신 went out and bought the latest edition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".
당신 were burned trying to get through the flames of your fireplace.
당신 were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!"
posted by SpecialAgentKat
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: ...

1) Seamus Finnegan is not after me lucky charms
2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid 포켓몬스터 cards and convince him they're real...
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posted by Hermione-Fan361
Part 2 Christmas
---Thanks to peppergirl30 for help editing---

Scorpius POV
          "C'mon, Scorpius! Race 당신 to the station!"  Rose yelled, flying past me. "Hey! No fair!" I protested, sprinting to catch up. It was Christmastime, and many students were heading 집 for the holidays. Rose and I stepped onto the platform at the same time. "Tie!" I huffed, trying to catch my breath. We boarded the train, and Albus walked over. "I'm gonna go sit with James. See you." he said, before taking off after his brother. Rose found an empty compartment within seconds. "Here." she said, opening the...
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Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless 페이스북 surveys as much as the 다음 person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling 사랑 might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most recent survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last 키스 standing up, sitting down, 또는 lying down?
The only 키스 I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose 침대 were 당신 on last?
Nagini's,...
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1. Harry James Potter:

He taught me that i can withstand anything with the power of love. When most of the wizarding world thought he was a joke (because he believed Voldemort was back) He did not back down. He said he believed Voldemort was alive and stuck to it. He did not care who laughed at him, who believed him and who did not because he knew Hermione and Ron were standing 의해 him, too. He taught me sheer willpower.
He taught me to take responsibility. It is not always about what i want 또는 need. It about what is right. What is right for the ones i care about. He taught me to put others first,...
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posted by bendaimmortal
I think there's something fishy to it. Because it's horribly unreliable and through that horribly unfair and useless.

Some theorize that magical children are born with the Trace but I don't think so because the 책 talk about it as something that is put on people, as in a charm. And in magic it should be possible to make a 더 많이 specifically effective charm. Even the Magic Quill at Hogwarts lists the names of every magical inhdividual born. The Trace should be working the samw way but it isn't.

I've racked my brain with the Trace matters after I (in the 답변 part of thsi club) brought up...
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