"I like taking pointless 페이스북 surveys as much as the 다음 person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling 사랑 might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most recent survey. Here's what he had to say:
Was your last 키스 standing up, sitting down, 또는 lying down?
The only 키스 I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.
Whose 침대 were 당신 on last?
Nagini's, playing "Dangle the Severed Hand Over The Snake And Jerk It Away Just As She Strikes." It helps her go to sleep. I also sang her favourite Parseltongue lullaby, "SSSSSssSSSSSSSSSssSSS."
When's the last time someone of the opposite sex told 당신 they missed you?
When I returned to the chamber of secrets in the form of a blurry memory, my beloved basilisk converged on me with her usual deadly stare and demanded to know why I'd missed fifty of our anniversaries in a row. I gently explained that we were not in a "relationship," just a mutual killing partnership with benefits.
Are 당신 excited for anything?
FOR THE IMMINENT DEATH OF HARRY POTTER AND MY EVENTUAL DOMINATION OF THE ENTIRE PLANET.
I'm also looking 앞으로 to the release of the new Josh Groban holiday album. Just five 더 많이 months till Christmas!
Do 당신 hate the last person 당신 kissed?
I hate everyone, but I've never kissed anyone. So, no. Paradox city!
Have 당신 ever been cheated on?
I'm not entirely sure about Severus Snape. He claims to be a faithful servant, yet I have stalked his 페이스북 프로필 for quite some time, and several of his song lyric status 업데이트 don't seem to refer to me. Very curious...
If 당신 married the last person 당신 texted, what would your last name be?
Pettigrew... excuse me while I vomit up several feet of my intestines...
Do 당신 like to have long hair 또는 short hair?
Hair is such a nuisance. I really don't see the point. Do snakes have hair? Cockroaches? Bacteria? NO! (Flagella and cilia DO NOT COUNT.) Why, then, should Lord Voldemort? It's simply strands of dead nutrients hanging limply off one's head! Though I admit I sort of like the sound of that.
What is your 가장 좋아하는 크리스마스 carol?
It goes something like, "Joy to the world, Harry Potter's dead! Dark Lord cut off his head! What happened to the body? We flushed it down the potty! And round and round it goes! And round and round it goes! And it got flushed into the chamber of secrets and the basilisk ate it, the end!" It's sung 의해 Josh Groban.
Do 당신 hate anyone?
Everyone except myself, Nagini, and the Grobester.
Have 당신 ever told someone 당신 loved them and meant it?
Of course not! What, do 당신 live under a rock 또는 something?
Do 당신 believe everyone deserves a 초 chance?
I don't even believe in a first chance. Kill them and then ask questions, and if they don't answer, dismember the corpse, that's what I always say. I also have it needlepointed onto a pillow.
Do 당신 like being kissed spontaneously, 또는 asked first?
It doesn't matter, I would murder the perpetrator before the mucus membranes of our mouths made even the slightest contact.
Has anything made 당신 mad lately?
I was filled with UNEARTHLY FURY to discover that Potter slipped through my unnervingly long and spindly fingers once again! I crushed a house elf's head to a pulp with my bare hands. Then I impaled an underperforming Death Eater on a spit and served him to Nagini in a gyro... but since I was so mad, I didn't give her any tzatziki sauce with it.
Do 당신 think 당신 can last in a relationship for 6 months 또는 more?
I could, but whoever I was in the relationship with wouldn't last 더 많이 than three seconds. They'd be too dead.
The last person 당신 kissed, how many times have 당신 cried in front of them?
...Do 당신 even know me at all?
What's the first thing 당신 do when you're mad?
Rip the spines out of people's backs.
Three hours ago, were 당신 touching a person of the opposite sex?
Yes, I pressed my finger deeply into Bellatrix's Dark Mark to summon my servants to a meeting. I understand she blushed.
Did 당신 hug anyone today?
No, but Nagini squeezed the life out of several people with her constricting powers. Good girl."
The following is from The Whimsic Alley Book of Spells. Any irony present is not intended 의해 me.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
의해 Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as 당신 say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink 탄약통, 카트리지 (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
당신 need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the 가장 좋아하는 drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will 침대 yours to command.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
의해 Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as 당신 say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink 탄약통, 카트리지 (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
당신 need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the 가장 좋아하는 drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will 침대 yours to command.
Okay I am a Harry and Hermione shipper. I like them together. I still 사랑 the author and i still like Ginny. I never really cared for Ron because of the way he treated Harry. Anyways... I concluded she could put anyone (minus Cho) with Harry and he is a good match with them. Harry is just one of those guys. He has a great heart. If Harry couldn't be with Hermione i wish it was with Luna. But in the 책 i can see that he is good for Ginny. I dont hate her. I dont mind her. I just dont like that fangirl kinda love. well my friend and me had a argument over this and i wouldn't budge. But i do think it is crazy to hate an amazing author for a pairing.
Ingredients
2 cups self-rising flour, 또는 plain flour sifted with 2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt (optional)
1/2 cup 버터 또는 margarine
1/2 cup fine granulated sugar
1 cup mixed dried 과일 (such as a mixture of moist packs of dried apricots, raisins and cranberries)
Finely grated rind of small orange
1 egg, beaten
3 Tbsp milk
주스 of 1/2 small orange
Instructions
Preheat 오븐 to 425 ºF.
Lightly grease baking tray.
Sift flour and salt together.
Using pastry blender, cut margarine 또는 버터 into the flour.
Add sugar, dried 과일 and 주황색, 오렌지 rind.
Stir in egg.
Add 우유 and just enough 주스 to make a stiff, sticky consistency that will stand in peaks when stirred with a knife.
Put walnut-sized heaps of mixture on baking tray.
Allow them to keep a rough, rocky shape.
Do not flatten 또는 smooth them.
Bake for about 10 to 12 분 또는 until golden and firm.
Cool completely on rack for flavor to develop.
2 cups self-rising flour, 또는 plain flour sifted with 2 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt (optional)
1/2 cup 버터 또는 margarine
1/2 cup fine granulated sugar
1 cup mixed dried 과일 (such as a mixture of moist packs of dried apricots, raisins and cranberries)
Finely grated rind of small orange
1 egg, beaten
3 Tbsp milk
주스 of 1/2 small orange
Instructions
Preheat 오븐 to 425 ºF.
Lightly grease baking tray.
Sift flour and salt together.
Using pastry blender, cut margarine 또는 버터 into the flour.
Add sugar, dried 과일 and 주황색, 오렌지 rind.
Stir in egg.
Add 우유 and just enough 주스 to make a stiff, sticky consistency that will stand in peaks when stirred with a knife.
Put walnut-sized heaps of mixture on baking tray.
Allow them to keep a rough, rocky shape.
Do not flatten 또는 smooth them.
Bake for about 10 to 12 분 또는 until golden and firm.
Cool completely on rack for flavor to develop.
Its going to be called "The magical realms collection" For Harry Potter 팬 there is going to be: Voldemort and Dumbledore ones!!
There is also gonna be Aslan and the White witch from Narnia and Nanny Ogg and Rincewald ones from Terry Pratchett's book Discworld.
There are also going to be Arthurian Legends ones of 모건 le Faye and Merlin !
I have also found out that the UK is getting a Harry Potter atraction (about time too, right?)
however it won't have rides, Hogwarts ect like the one in Florida !*sigh* (And there hasn't been alot of information relesed about it !)
Just a bit of News some of 당신 might like to read!And i realize it isn't completely HP related!
(so please no rude 또는 offensive 코멘트 please,thank 당신 xxx)
Well this is my 1st ever 팬 fiction. Hope you'll enjoy...
This is a very very short and sad story with a really happy ending if 당신 know what i mean....:D
So here goes......
Once upon a time. a boy named Harry Potter fell in 사랑 with a girl named Cho Chang "at first sight" coz he knew it'll all over as soon as she opens her mouth*wink*.....
Anyways...they spent some time together and too soon(for Cho at least) Harry asked her:"will 당신 marry me?"
Cho said:"no!!"
And that's how Harry began to live in peace and happiness!!!....
This is a very very short and sad story with a really happy ending if 당신 know what i mean....:D
So here goes......
Once upon a time. a boy named Harry Potter fell in 사랑 with a girl named Cho Chang "at first sight" coz he knew it'll all over as soon as she opens her mouth*wink*.....
Anyways...they spent some time together and too soon(for Cho at least) Harry asked her:"will 당신 marry me?"
Cho said:"no!!"
And that's how Harry began to live in peace and happiness!!!....
