Note: I am not obsessed with Selena Gomez.
Other note: I know I missed some stuff and that this is an extremely shortened version. I performed this with some friends, and we didn't have enough people to do all seven dwarfs. So all there is is Grumpy.
Scene 1- The 퀸 consults her magic mirror.
Queen-Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?
Mirror-That's easy! Selena Gomez!
Queen- OTHER THAN HER!
Mirror- Then...hmm...Taylor Swift.
Queen- Why??
Mirror-According to the August issue of J-14 magazine, Selena Gomez was found the prettiest in a vote of 342 people.
Queen-Well, Selena Gomez is too far from here. I'll take my anger out on Snow White, even though she's not drop-dead gorgeous like moi.
Scene 2-The 퀸 talks with the huntsman.
Queen-I need 당신 to kill Snow White!
Huntsman-Don't 당신 want me to bring 당신 her 심장 in a box 또는 something?
Queen-Blood makes me nauseous. Just clip her toenails something. SNOW WHITE!
*Snow White enters*
Snow White-Yes, stepmother?
Queen- You're banished from the castle.
Snow White-*runs out crying*
Scene 3-Snow White runs through the forest
Snow White-I'm not scared! I laugh in the face of danger-OMG IT'S A TREE!!!!! OMG IT'S A 초 TREE!!!!!!!! *drops to the ground and curls into the fetal position*
Snow White- Where are my animal friends?
*tweet from a distance*
Snow White- THAT'S PATHETIC!
*Huntsman enters*
Huntsman- Are 당신 unconscious yet?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- How about now?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- Can I just clip your toenails?
Snow White- Okay! They were getting long anyway.
Scene 4-The 퀸 talks to her magic mirror.
Queen-HA HA HA! I have killed Snow White!
Mirror- Um, there's a flaw in your plan.
Queen-WHAT?
Mirror- Just because 당신 have someone's toenails doesn't mean they're dead.
Queen- Ugh. If 당신 want something done right, 당신 have to do it yourself. I'll feed her a poisoned apple...and disguise myself as an ugly hag!
Mirror- Um, but 당신 are ugly. 당신 should disguise yourself as someone pretty, like Selena Gomez.
Queen- That's a great idea! BUT I'M NOT UGLY.
Mirror- Yes, 당신 are.
Queen- WHO ASKED YOU?!?!?!?!
Scene 5- Snow White finds Grumpy's house.
Snow White- Oh, what a sweet little house! I think I'll just barge in, clean up, and use the 오븐 to make some pie.
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope no one broke into my house!*
*Grumpy enters his house, sees Snow White, and lifts up his mine pick*
Grumpy- WHO ARE 당신 AND WHAT ARE 당신 DOING IN MY HOUSE?
Snow White- I'm Snow White. I was cleaning and making pie.
Grumpy- When will the pie be ready?
Snow White- Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Grumpy- Okay then!
Scene 6- The 다음 일 at noon, Grumpy's house. Snow White is cleaning while Grumpy is in the mines*
*Queen, disguised as Selena Gomez, enters*
Queen- Hey, girlfriend!
Snow White- Selena Gomez! I'm your biggest fan!!
Queen- Thanks! Anyway, I brought 당신 an apple!
Snow White- But I don't like apples.
Queen- But this one's special.
Snow White- Okay! But first I have to go potty.
Queen- But if 당신 eat it, 당신 get a part on my show, for 'Girl eating Apple'.
Snow White- But can I go potty first?
Queen- JUST EAT THE APPLE!
Snow White- *takes a bite* I...am...dying...I'M TOO YOUNG TO-*dies*
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope nobody died!* *sees Selena Gomez exiting the house, walking onto a cliff* Selena Gomez! Can I have your autograph?
Queen- Um, sure. Just let me find a pen...
Grumpy- Here's one! On the ground! *Reaches for it, causing the 퀸 to twist around, lose her balance, and fall off the cliff* SELENA! Oh no, what am I going to tell David Henrie? *goes back to house and sees Snow White* Oh no! The cleaning lady! Who's going to make me pie and fix the toilet?
*Prince enters*
Grumpy- PRINCE! WAKE HER UP, WAKE HER UP!
Prince- Alright. *Leans in close to Snow White, Puts his hands on her shoulders* WAKE UP! WAKE UP! (nothing happens) Yup, she's dead alright. *turns to leave*
Grumpy- *grabs his leg to prevent him from leaving* NO! 키스 her! 키스 her! I want pie!
Prince- NO WAY, MIDGET!
*REAL Selena Gomez enters*
Selena- I know what she needs! *gives her "theater kisses", an air 키스 on each cheek*
Snow White- OMG!!! SELENA GOMEZ!!!
Selena- I knew it.
Scene 7- Mirror wondered what was taking the 퀸 so long, and magically transported to her broken body*
Mirror- *sobs*
Queen- Stop crying! I'm only injured!
Mirror- BUT THEY CANCELED WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE!! *sobs*
Queen- *flops back down*
FADE OUT
Other note: I know I missed some stuff and that this is an extremely shortened version. I performed this with some friends, and we didn't have enough people to do all seven dwarfs. So all there is is Grumpy.
Scene 1- The 퀸 consults her magic mirror.
Queen-Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?
Mirror-That's easy! Selena Gomez!
Queen- OTHER THAN HER!
Mirror- Then...hmm...Taylor Swift.
Queen- Why??
Mirror-According to the August issue of J-14 magazine, Selena Gomez was found the prettiest in a vote of 342 people.
Queen-Well, Selena Gomez is too far from here. I'll take my anger out on Snow White, even though she's not drop-dead gorgeous like moi.
Scene 2-The 퀸 talks with the huntsman.
Queen-I need 당신 to kill Snow White!
Huntsman-Don't 당신 want me to bring 당신 her 심장 in a box 또는 something?
Queen-Blood makes me nauseous. Just clip her toenails something. SNOW WHITE!
*Snow White enters*
Snow White-Yes, stepmother?
Queen- You're banished from the castle.
Snow White-*runs out crying*
Scene 3-Snow White runs through the forest
Snow White-I'm not scared! I laugh in the face of danger-OMG IT'S A TREE!!!!! OMG IT'S A 초 TREE!!!!!!!! *drops to the ground and curls into the fetal position*
Snow White- Where are my animal friends?
*tweet from a distance*
Snow White- THAT'S PATHETIC!
*Huntsman enters*
Huntsman- Are 당신 unconscious yet?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- How about now?
Snow White- No.
Huntsman- Can I just clip your toenails?
Snow White- Okay! They were getting long anyway.
Scene 4-The 퀸 talks to her magic mirror.
Queen-HA HA HA! I have killed Snow White!
Mirror- Um, there's a flaw in your plan.
Queen-WHAT?
Mirror- Just because 당신 have someone's toenails doesn't mean they're dead.
Queen- Ugh. If 당신 want something done right, 당신 have to do it yourself. I'll feed her a poisoned apple...and disguise myself as an ugly hag!
Mirror- Um, but 당신 are ugly. 당신 should disguise yourself as someone pretty, like Selena Gomez.
Queen- That's a great idea! BUT I'M NOT UGLY.
Mirror- Yes, 당신 are.
Queen- WHO ASKED YOU?!?!?!?!
Scene 5- Snow White finds Grumpy's house.
Snow White- Oh, what a sweet little house! I think I'll just barge in, clean up, and use the 오븐 to make some pie.
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope no one broke into my house!*
*Grumpy enters his house, sees Snow White, and lifts up his mine pick*
Grumpy- WHO ARE 당신 AND WHAT ARE 당신 DOING IN MY HOUSE?
Snow White- I'm Snow White. I was cleaning and making pie.
Grumpy- When will the pie be ready?
Snow White- Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Grumpy- Okay then!
Scene 6- The 다음 일 at noon, Grumpy's house. Snow White is cleaning while Grumpy is in the mines*
*Queen, disguised as Selena Gomez, enters*
Queen- Hey, girlfriend!
Snow White- Selena Gomez! I'm your biggest fan!!
Queen- Thanks! Anyway, I brought 당신 an apple!
Snow White- But I don't like apples.
Queen- But this one's special.
Snow White- Okay! But first I have to go potty.
Queen- But if 당신 eat it, 당신 get a part on my show, for 'Girl eating Apple'.
Snow White- But can I go potty first?
Queen- JUST EAT THE APPLE!
Snow White- *takes a bite* I...am...dying...I'M TOO YOUNG TO-*dies*
*Grumpy approaches the house singing*
Grumpy- *Heigh ho, heigh ho, I hope nobody died!* *sees Selena Gomez exiting the house, walking onto a cliff* Selena Gomez! Can I have your autograph?
Queen- Um, sure. Just let me find a pen...
Grumpy- Here's one! On the ground! *Reaches for it, causing the 퀸 to twist around, lose her balance, and fall off the cliff* SELENA! Oh no, what am I going to tell David Henrie? *goes back to house and sees Snow White* Oh no! The cleaning lady! Who's going to make me pie and fix the toilet?
*Prince enters*
Grumpy- PRINCE! WAKE HER UP, WAKE HER UP!
Prince- Alright. *Leans in close to Snow White, Puts his hands on her shoulders* WAKE UP! WAKE UP! (nothing happens) Yup, she's dead alright. *turns to leave*
Grumpy- *grabs his leg to prevent him from leaving* NO! 키스 her! 키스 her! I want pie!
Prince- NO WAY, MIDGET!
*REAL Selena Gomez enters*
Selena- I know what she needs! *gives her "theater kisses", an air 키스 on each cheek*
Snow White- OMG!!! SELENA GOMEZ!!!
Selena- I knew it.
Scene 7- Mirror wondered what was taking the 퀸 so long, and magically transported to her broken body*
Mirror- *sobs*
Queen- Stop crying! I'm only injured!
Mirror- BUT THEY CANCELED WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE!! *sobs*
Queen- *flops back down*
FADE OUT
They Should Make a Vampire Princess
I personally think 디즈니 should take the challenge to make a vampire princess, I mean we already have The Vampire Diaries, True Blood, The Twilight Saga and Anne Rice's vampire stories!
They could make the antagonist inspired from Elizabeth Bathory, in which she is a vain vampire throughout the movie!
The Shouldn't Make a Vampire Princess
It will probably intimidate young children, unless the directors watch Hotel Transylvania for inspiration to make it 더 많이 family friendly.
Secondly, I hope that the movie is not going to be like the Twilight Saga.
Vampire 또는 Not?
I have always wanted to see a vampire princess for a change, do 당신 agree?
Gaston Gets Turn Into A Beast
This will happen during the climatic battle between the beast and Gaston, I would imagine that the Enchantress will magically appear and turn Gaston into a beast and Prince Adam back into human right in front of Belle!
The Magic Mirror
Since Belle have brought back the magic mirror, it could magically float in the air and review the Beast's true form in front of the mob, Gaston and Belle. Prompting the mob to disband and Gaston ultimately goes to the 성 alone to fulfill his deadly mission!
What Do 당신 Think?
So, only two make it through the cut. What do 당신 think of them?