To my wonderful, kind, sweet, dear friend Ashley,
                         I just wanted to say that I am so, so, so damn sorry for what I did to you. I really am sorry, baby. The reason I did what I did was because I was under tremendous amounts of stress. All of mine and Phil’s failed attempts to make a baby, plus the way I was rudely misinformed about Red losing his virginity to Lilly just got to my head and made me do things I had no control over. If there was a way to take back what I did to you, I would. I never meant to cause 당신 so much pain to your sweet, tasty little 사랑 region. 당신 know how much I 사랑 playing with that spot, hehe!
                        Anyway 당신 should know what I’m saying 의해 now. I 사랑 당신 and again, I am really sorry for putting 당신 through that pain and suffering. I hope 당신 can find it in your 심장 to forgive me but if 당신 won’t, then I’m fine with it. I just needed 당신 to hear my apologies.
                        Additional to this apology, I also present to 당신 a gift. One of my most prized possessions; my, well now yours, Marcel and Paddy squeaky toys. Surely 당신 hate those ugly bastards as much as I do. Hehe! Hope 당신 enjoy them 
                        Well thanks for hearing my apology. I 사랑 you, baby. Never forget that. *kisses*
        PS: I destroyed the taser. Threw it in the bathtub, let the damn thing short itself out.