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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Episode 9

Bartholomew "Not so" Perfect The 55th

June 10, 1951

At the station in Cheyenne, Bartholomew was getting ready to conduct a passenger train.

Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do 당신 know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps 당신 should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have 당신 로스트 your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the Atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave 당신 in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*

While Gordon fell asleep from his failed attempt to travel, Hawkeye and Coffee Creme were getting their train ready.

Coffee Creme: *checking oil*
Hawkeye: *checking water gauge* Everything is looking good.
Bartholomew: Everypony that's going to Denver, get on this train!
Percy: Uh, Bartholomew? You're supposed to say All Aboard.
Bartholomew: Oh. All aboard!!
Hawkeye: *blows whistle twice*
Coffee Creme: *looks out cab*
Hawkeye: *drives train*

Meanwhile in the passenger cars.

Bartholomew: (Ok. You've been a conductor for roughly a week. 당신 haven't done well, but you're getting better now. Now we just do the right thing until we get to Denver, rent a hotel, sleep, and go back to Cheyenne.)

While the train left Cheyenne for Denver, Bartholomew was checking the tickets of every passenger.

Bartholomew: Tickets please.
passenger: *gives ticket*
Bartholomew: *takes ticket* Thanks
passenger: You're not going to cut it?
Bartholomew: What?
passenger: You're supposed to use this hole puncher *points to tool* and 펀치 a hole in it.
Bartholomew: Oh *puts hole in ticket*
passenger: Thanks, dumbass.
Bartholomew: What did 당신 just call me?
passenger: 당신 heard me 당신 British piece of hell.
Bartholomew: *pulls passenger out of seat*
passenger: Ow! What the fuck do 당신 think you're doing?!
Bartholomew: Something that 당신 deserve *throws passenger out of train*
passenger: *flying* I'm a pegasus! Nice try!
Bartholomew: If you're a pegasus why are 당신 taking the train?
passenger: Why not? *gets back in*
Bartholomew: (Lazy bastard.)

After that, another train passed

Bartholomew: *frightened* Whoa. *goes to check 더 많이 tickets*
Hawkeye: *stops train*
Bartholomew: Wait a minute, wait a minute!! Why are we stopping?! *teleports to engine* Why did 당신 stop?
Coffee Creme: Red signal. Take a look for yourself.
Bartholomew: *looks out cab* Ok, I don't get it. There's red. And then there's two 더 많이 signals below that. Which one is green?
Hawkeye: At the bottom.
Bartholomew: Then what's in the middle?!
Hawkeye: That would be yellow.
Bartholomew: What does yellow mean?
Hawkeye: That means we can proceed, but with caution.
Bartholomew: Oh. *embarrassed* Carry on *teleports back to train*
Hawkeye: I hope he doesn't terrorize any of the passengers.
Coffee Creme: If 당신 ask me, he probably doesn't have what it takes to be in the army.
Hawkeye: Maybe he was in the army, but got a screwed up personality with all those ponies he killed.
Snowflake: *signal turns yellow*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
Bartholomew: *appears* Did the signal change?
Hawkeye: Yeah, it just turned yellow.
Bartholomew: Alright then, 당신 have to continue slowly.
Hawkeye: Uh, Bartholomew?
Bartholomew: Yes?
Hawkeye: I've been an engineer since 1947. I know what I'm doing.
Bartholomew: I was just making sure 당신 knew. On The 런던 & New England Railway, we made sure the engineer knew so no accidents would accure.
Coffee Creme: Don't 당신 mean occur?
Bartholomew: No, I mean accure. Carry on *teleports back to train*

Meanwhile, on the train

Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do 당신 know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: (Not this again.) Perhaps 당신 should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pace of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the Atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*

Meanwhile, near the tracks

Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are 당신 alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do 당신 suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.

90 분 later at Denver's train station

Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do 당신 mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did 당신 see the conductor?
Passenger: Did 당신 see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help 당신 (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did 당신 say 당신 were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. 당신 saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger 당신 were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no

Back at Cheyenne

Pete: So 당신 don't feel like 당신 can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, 당신 can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*

Nearby was a 통로, 활주로 in an airport

통로, 활주로 pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
통로, 활주로 pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.

Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.

Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: 저기요 wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*

The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*

Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car 다음 to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!

The End

On The 다음 Episode Of Ponies On The Rails

Gordon shows 당신 how he got a smartphone in 1951
#5: WINDWAKERGUY430:
So.. He may seem innocent enough, but he most gets mad at about everything.
But hey.. If a sitcom spoof that turns into a shootout for no god damn reason, is your kind of humour.. Than have fun.. Weirdo's


#4: JADE_23:
........... Thought I would of had something for Jade, but guess not.


#3: CANADA24:
Basically he's someone who reviews certain shows, like Hellsing for example, but only says "mwa" instead of actually INTELLIGENT reviews.
And most of his "humour" is no different than Wind.. In fact he steals Wind's idea a lot.. Usually making them even 더 많이 mean spirited and unfunny..


#2: AQUAMARINE
Just avoid her in general, she's weird..


#1: EVERYONE ELSE:
Their all dicks.. With an odd acceptation of people like those people that rant about 드레이크, 드레이 크 and Josh. Their the REAL human beings..
I forgot about this show..

I'm not watching Death Note anymore..

For all those saying, 당신 don't like it cause 당신 haven't watched it.
Well, I HAVE watched it.

Truth is, I don't care about ANY of those characters, and what happens to them.
Sorry Aqua, this includes L..

So, yeah, sticking to Monster..

Here's to hoping something INTERESTING happens soon.
It's getting a bit dull..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#1: He CAN be funny:
But he never seems to try too hard.
Eight Crazy Nights shows how much he wastes his OWN talents..


#2: I actually LIKE his normal voice:
But, I'm guessing that he thinks it is funny to sound as annoying as possible, even though his normal voice is WAY funnier, than a tone deaf voice..


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#1: ARTHUR:
Also known as "Angry British Guy".
What makes him a villain is that his character is displayed as over the 상단, 맨 위로 angry, foul mouthed, and frankly, INSANE!
Arthur is Vine personality He was sacked on the 18th of December, nearly a week after a 페이스북 post where he revealed that he has not 'made a penny out of Vine' and was 'on the verge' of losing his job, presumably owing to the adult nature of his content..


#2: ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD:
Although the "hero" of his show, the Nerd is unquestionably an anti-social, cruel and sometimes even psychotic individual - at least in the context...
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☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
1☆ everything i do, i do it for you
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
2☆ please forgive me
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
3☆ summer of '69
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
4☆ heaven
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
5☆ run to you
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
6☆ straight from the heart
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
7☆ here i am
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
8☆ somebody
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
9☆ never let go
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.


☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
10☆ kids wanna rock
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
posted by Canada24
This is one of the scenes that follows the dialogue of NIKO/JOHNNY SERIES.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Packie McReary was seen chatting with Dash Lucia and Micheal Keane.

"So the plan was, they were gonna hid the diamond in the queen's ass" Packie cried, ending what appeared to be one of his many stories, and the other two laughed at the joke.

Niko enters the room, and is spotted 의해 young Kate.

Kate: Oh, hey, Niko.

Niko: Hey, Kate.

Packie: Get your fucking hands off my fucking sister, boy!

Dash: (only one to laugh).

Kate: (sarcastically) We're talking, not having...
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1: Clearence Little:
The corrupt cop Francis McCreary wants Clearence dead for reasons explained in the beginning cut away (most of them self centred).
I don't really like killing this guy, despite the fact he tries to kill 당신 later in a 랜덤 encounter.
He's still was pleading for life, and Niko doesn't seem like the type who would kill someone on their knees... Unless it's friggin Dimitri.
If 당신 do the excutution 옮기기 on him, Niko will even apologize for having killed him..

2: Dwayne Forge
I always kill 플레이보이 instead of Dwayne.
Cause Dwayne is such a nice guy, and it makes me feel 더 많이 guilty..
episode: ALL ABOUT THE MORMONS

Stan refuses to become Greg's friend, because he believe's his family religion is stupid, and the family is disturbingly nice..
But Greg later approaches Stan, saying he won't try to be his friend anymore, and also uses the following speech...

"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life. and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty 당신 couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
#6: Kate X Garth:
It's been nearly four years since I thought about Alpha and Omega.
But this is one of the reasons I left.
I can't stand when Kate cheats on Humphrey.
She leaves the one who was perfect for her, to be with the WORST person for her.
And sadly, it quite common, and not even the worst that people can come up with.

#5: Twilight X Trixie:
I actually like Trixie.
And I also like Twilight.
So this just angers me. Their great characters..

#4: Spongebob X Patrick:
Yes. It fuckin happened! :(

#3: Kate X Lilly:
The only thing worse than Kate x Garth.
Is the idea of Kate having sex with her own...
continue reading...
I'm bored and decided to give characters files for each character..


SHANE WALSE:
In many cases, Shane's character hasn't changed all too much.
Like the real Shane, he is very easy to become angry.
But unlike the real Shane.
Just about ANYTHING would make Shane mad, as shown with his immature rage at Rick for not liking Godfather., It's rare he ISN'T mad.
He also, accidentally shoots Rick and is why was in a coma. But his 코멘트 about sleeping with Lori. Along with sarcastically saying the "enemies" shoot him, makes 당신 wonder rather 또는 not it was REALLY an accident..

ANDREA:
It's implied she's...
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For those who don't know.
The image on my clubs cover, with Twilight wearing a mask is from this story., I don't know, I just enjoy the image for some reason.. I can be a very morbid person, but in playful ways (if that's even possible).

Anyway. I can probably say, I have mixed feelings about this story.
It's certainly what 당신 would expect from a creepypasta.

But there's some many different VERISONS of the story.
In original version I read, Rarity tried to beg Twilight from killing Pinkie. Dash was given a needle making her lose all forms of sanity. AJ had her psychical strangth 'tested'.

But...
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posted by Canada24
In celebration of finally beating Red Dead 2.. Here's best 인용구 of new protagonst, Arthur Morgan..


#1:
Arthur: Damn Marston. That's smart.. 당신 might the only guy I know, to be half eaten 의해 wolves, and come back a smarter man..

#2:
Arthur: As long as we get paid 또는 당신 get shot I'm happy.

#3:
Arthur: Maybe when your mother is finished mourning your father... I'll keep her in black, on your behalf.

#4:
Arthur: John made it. He's the only one. Rest of us... No.

#5:
Arthur: This whole thing is pretty much done. We're 더 많이 ghosts than people.

#6:
Tommy: Come on than pretty boy!
Arthur: Pretty boy? You're kidding me, Pretty Boy!?

#7:
Micah: Seems were the only ones crazy enough to be out here.
Arthur: Don't speak to me about 'crazy'.

#8:
Arthur: I gave 당신 all I had....
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's 히어로즈 - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Twilight Sparkle woke up in excitement, looking at her calender.

Twilight: Alright man, this is it. I am going to work on the 50th Winter 덮개, 랩 Up of Pornstarville.
Spike: Oh, who gives a fuck? Why does everyone have to take control of the weather?
Twilight: I don't know man! I just wanna help out, and get this winter...
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added by Dreamtime
#5: BRAIN/FAMILY GUY:
This was only temporary, mostly cause everyone was mad at Seth Macfarlene for killing off a major character.
But due to Family Guys senses of 'convient' gags.
Stewie uses his time machine to stop brain from being killed in the first place, and nobody knew about this so not much has changed from then..

#4: Charlie/Two and a half men:
At the beginning of one of the newer seasons the REAL Charlie was fired from the cast do to his various 'issues'.
And his character is killed off and the season literary starts with his funeral, witch is ruined 의해 the shows constant need for crude...
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#1: DON’T GO TO SLEEP:
Hate how your life is?, yeah, well, DEAL WITH IT!
Other wise, your be taken to court 의해 the Reality Police and put on trial simply because 당신 said your reality sucked..

#2: MY HAIRY ADVENTURE:
If your turned into a dog 의해 a mysterious chemical. Your parents will just adopt another child, and forget 당신 ever existed..

#3: WEREWOLF OF FEVER SWAMP:
Your parents cannot be trusted. They are fools at best, and werewolf-enablers at worst. Just looking for any excuse to take your beloved dog to the pound. Also, your best friend is not really your friend, and has a terrible secret....
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Fellowship of the Ring was playing on tv.
I watched for the first time in nearly four years.

These 영화 are even better than I remember.

The expression "one ring to rule them all" really IS how it happened.
Rings seem to some sort of powers in their world.
And Mordor is basically "hell".
So it's a ring from hell.

And this ring is as powerful as they get. It can brainwash anyone, and I mean ANYONE. Due to it's impartiality, beauty, and well, anything really.

But what I like about it.

Just about everything about this movie, gives off sort of a creepy vib.
But I like that in movies, makes me 더 많이 into it.

So yeah.

사랑 IT!!
1:
Clay: Johnny ain't gonna be cool if your messing with her again.
Trevor: Oh really, let's ask him. (lifts foot) 저기요 cowboy? 당신 mind that I fucked your old lady? Oh, what's that, 당신 DON'T mind.. Wha- because your a dead man!? And the only scented part of 당신 left is this little piece of brain! And the grizzle on the end of my boot! WELL THANK 당신 VERY MUCH COWBOYYY!
Terry: BULLSHIT!
Trevor: Oh I LIKE IT, denial! That's the first part of the grieving process brothers. Now let's all hold hands.
Clay: THIS BETTER BE BULLSHIT! (they all ride off)
Trevor: Oh, where 당신 guys going!? LET'S GO LADIES!...
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