Yusei as Duncan
Yami as Harold
차 as LeShawna
Mai as Heather
Akiza as Courtney
Sayer as Justin
Mina as Lindsay
Carly as Beth
Jack as Chris
**********************************
Yusei: (to Sayer) How can 당신 spend so much time on your coif?
Sayer: My agent, Jesús, says it's my best feature. Along with my neck, nose, chin, cheekbones, earlobes, eyebrows...
Yusei: 당신 know who has nice hair? Akiza. I mean, not that I've noticed.
Sayer: ...or maybe it's my eyes...
Yusei: I mean, I did notice...back when I cared- but not now... (to Yami) 당신 dropped your soap.
Yami: Nice try, Yusei. Just because I'm blind without my glasses doesn't mean I'll fall for- (slips on soap) Whoa! Oof!
Yusei: I make fire! (pounds on chest) OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
Mina: (Mai strokes her hair violently) Ow! Mai! I think 당신 pulled my eyes into the back of my head!
Tea: Not a bad idea... With Akiza on your team, 당신 better watch your backs.
Carly: She's so bossy!
Mina: And it's not like we needed another Know-It-All on this show.
Mai: Oh, really?
(Mai strokes Mina's hair violently again.)
Mina: Owww! I was talking about me! Now that Bossy McSmartypants is back, no one is ever going to listen to me ever again!
Tea: Sorry, did 당신 say something, honey?
Mai: (in confessional make-up room) I have got to get me some hair! Not Tea's gross weave 또는 Mina's pathetic ponytail! And I'm way too smart to be Carly black! But Akiza's... her's would be perfect! (grabs scissors) I'm just gonna borrow these, okay?
Akiza: Isn't anyone glad to see me?!
Mai: Great to have your hair... Uh, here! here! Great to have 당신 here, hun.
Yusei: (angrily) Having Akiza back reminds me of how much she drives me crazy! (daydreaming) And how much she drives me crazy.
Yusei: Hey, hey! Easy here! Not a lot of fabric!
Officer Trudge: Hand it over...all of it Prehistoric Pond scum!
Jack: Please note, no 동물 were harmed in the making of this 텔레비전 program. (looks at someone off-screen, annoyed) Okay, we good?
Mai: I got some! Akiza's hair, soon it will be mine, all mine! (starts laughing like a maniac) What? I'm not crazy, I'm just bald.
Jack: Thanks to Akiza's lawsuit, She'll be playing 의해 a set of different rules.
Yusei: 당신 said there are no rules.
Akiza: There are if 당신 have a good lawyer.
Jack: Trudge, Let's get this over with...Ahem! Rule one. Not withstanding that contestants are not permitted with contact from the outside world. The contestants hereafter refer to as "Akiza" may retain a Personal Digital Assistant. AKA her PDA.
Carly: What?! That's so not fair! I'm the one with a boyfriend!
Jack: Care to take that up with our legal department, Carly?
(Trudge breaks a court mallet and Carly gasps)
Jack: Didn't think so... Rule Two. Where as contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided 의해 Trudge, Akiza shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience consisting of producers, and myself as applicable. I hope 당신 like lobster.
All: No Way!
(Everyone but Jack and Akiza yell in protest)
Jack: Let's see your lawyers get 당신 out of this one.
Akiza: What?! I'm still sleeping in the girl's trailer!
Jack: Where she will have a pure 거위, 거 위 down pillow, extra comfy lofter, and 700-count sheet. Oh, and her Own... Private... Bathroom!
(Everyone yells in protest at Jack and Akiza again)
Jack: Those are the new rules. Let's call them "Akiza's Rules" in honor of Akiza. Who gets special treatment. And an unfair advantage.
Yusei: Nice, Our spoiled princess didn't waste anytime hooking herself up!
Akiza: And 당신 didn't waste anytime hooking up with Alexis after I left!
Yusei: While I'm touched you're obviously still hot for me, my relationships are none of your business.
Akiza: You're on TV! They're everyone's business!
Yusei: Well at least the whole world knows I play 의해 the rules... Most of the time! What? Don't think 당신 can win the million bucks fair and square?
Akiza: I could kick your two-timing butt with my eyes closed and both hand tied behind my back!
Yusei: Gonna be pretty tough to eat 랍스터 like that! (Both growl at each other)
Carly: (Holding onto Mai) Let go!
Mai: 당신 let go!
Carly: Okay! (Lets go of Mai). (in confessional make-up room) They make us do a lot of horrible, humiliating things to each other on the show, and I haven't been very good at most of them. But, when I knocked Mai off her high pedestal, and made her fall into a pit of bubbling tar, well, that was my high point of the competition. (laughs) Maybe my whole life!
Chris: 다음 up, Sayer and Yami. (Cut to the pedestals, then to Sayer's, as he strikes an award-winning pose.)
Sayer: (in confessional make-up room, covered in tar) I'm gonna win the million, but that shot of me standing atop the stone column is worth even more. It's gonna be an iconic image for the series. Hey, Mina was right about the tar, my skin does look even better.
Yami: (in confessional make up room) I never thought I would say this but I'm scared of... beavers! Especially fake prehistoric beavers.
Yusei: (to Yami) Just don't go and lose this challenge for us, beavers can't swim through tar! (the beavers swim through tar)
Yami: Their teeth are the size of railway spikes!
Tea: You'll be okay, baby.
Yusei: Don't be a wimp! The columns are plaster, not wood, and beavers can't climb! (one 비버 eats the stand, the other starts to climb) I guess my knowledge of prehistoric beavers is a little rusty.
Yami: Down beavers, down! Get back to your dam! (falls) Woaahhh!
Jack: That leaves the teams tied, and us with a grudge match between Yusei and Akiza, on the same column! 당신 just can't write this stuff!
Akiza: Don't get too hyped, Yusei won't last 더 많이 than two seconds.
Yusei: (laughs) Quit trying to make-out with me.
Akiza: All you're going to 키스 is the end of my bone!
Yusei: (in confessional make-up room) It's like there were two Akiza's up there; The girl I wanted to knock into the tar pit, and the hottie in the 모피 bikini.
Akiza: Sure, Yusei has this primal animal magnetism, but he also makes me want to hit him where it hurts!
Jack: Well, I'd say the Gaffers had a better chance with the one million BC; BC, Before Comedy.
Mai: (Comes out of the black tar pit and notices her wig) Give me back my wig! (Mai assaults the Pterodactyl) Nobody messes with my hair!
Akiza: (in confessional make-up room with a plate of lobster) Yusei got what was coming to him, and so did I! Mmm, 랍스터 and Belgian chocolate!
Yusei: (squeaks in pain) Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why!!!?
Jack: (picks his teeth) I know everyone wanted to see Mai cut off Akiza's hair. Trust me, so did I. (sips from Mr. Coconut) But, the girl's got a kick-butt lawyer, can't harm a hair on her head. (continues to pick his teeth) See ya 다음 time, kiddies! (tosses toothpick aside) Same Jack Time, (tosses Mr. Coconut aside) Same Jack Channel! (glass breaks) Uh... wasn't me! (runs away)
Yami as Harold
차 as LeShawna
Mai as Heather
Akiza as Courtney
Sayer as Justin
Mina as Lindsay
Carly as Beth
Jack as Chris
**********************************
Yusei: (to Sayer) How can 당신 spend so much time on your coif?
Sayer: My agent, Jesús, says it's my best feature. Along with my neck, nose, chin, cheekbones, earlobes, eyebrows...
Yusei: 당신 know who has nice hair? Akiza. I mean, not that I've noticed.
Sayer: ...or maybe it's my eyes...
Yusei: I mean, I did notice...back when I cared- but not now... (to Yami) 당신 dropped your soap.
Yami: Nice try, Yusei. Just because I'm blind without my glasses doesn't mean I'll fall for- (slips on soap) Whoa! Oof!
Yusei: I make fire! (pounds on chest) OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
Mina: (Mai strokes her hair violently) Ow! Mai! I think 당신 pulled my eyes into the back of my head!
Tea: Not a bad idea... With Akiza on your team, 당신 better watch your backs.
Carly: She's so bossy!
Mina: And it's not like we needed another Know-It-All on this show.
Mai: Oh, really?
(Mai strokes Mina's hair violently again.)
Mina: Owww! I was talking about me! Now that Bossy McSmartypants is back, no one is ever going to listen to me ever again!
Tea: Sorry, did 당신 say something, honey?
Mai: (in confessional make-up room) I have got to get me some hair! Not Tea's gross weave 또는 Mina's pathetic ponytail! And I'm way too smart to be Carly black! But Akiza's... her's would be perfect! (grabs scissors) I'm just gonna borrow these, okay?
Akiza: Isn't anyone glad to see me?!
Mai: Great to have your hair... Uh, here! here! Great to have 당신 here, hun.
Yusei: (angrily) Having Akiza back reminds me of how much she drives me crazy! (daydreaming) And how much she drives me crazy.
Yusei: Hey, hey! Easy here! Not a lot of fabric!
Officer Trudge: Hand it over...all of it Prehistoric Pond scum!
Jack: Please note, no 동물 were harmed in the making of this 텔레비전 program. (looks at someone off-screen, annoyed) Okay, we good?
Mai: I got some! Akiza's hair, soon it will be mine, all mine! (starts laughing like a maniac) What? I'm not crazy, I'm just bald.
Jack: Thanks to Akiza's lawsuit, She'll be playing 의해 a set of different rules.
Yusei: 당신 said there are no rules.
Akiza: There are if 당신 have a good lawyer.
Jack: Trudge, Let's get this over with...Ahem! Rule one. Not withstanding that contestants are not permitted with contact from the outside world. The contestants hereafter refer to as "Akiza" may retain a Personal Digital Assistant. AKA her PDA.
Carly: What?! That's so not fair! I'm the one with a boyfriend!
Jack: Care to take that up with our legal department, Carly?
(Trudge breaks a court mallet and Carly gasps)
Jack: Didn't think so... Rule Two. Where as contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided 의해 Trudge, Akiza shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience consisting of producers, and myself as applicable. I hope 당신 like lobster.
All: No Way!
(Everyone but Jack and Akiza yell in protest)
Jack: Let's see your lawyers get 당신 out of this one.
Akiza: What?! I'm still sleeping in the girl's trailer!
Jack: Where she will have a pure 거위, 거 위 down pillow, extra comfy lofter, and 700-count sheet. Oh, and her Own... Private... Bathroom!
(Everyone yells in protest at Jack and Akiza again)
Jack: Those are the new rules. Let's call them "Akiza's Rules" in honor of Akiza. Who gets special treatment. And an unfair advantage.
Yusei: Nice, Our spoiled princess didn't waste anytime hooking herself up!
Akiza: And 당신 didn't waste anytime hooking up with Alexis after I left!
Yusei: While I'm touched you're obviously still hot for me, my relationships are none of your business.
Akiza: You're on TV! They're everyone's business!
Yusei: Well at least the whole world knows I play 의해 the rules... Most of the time! What? Don't think 당신 can win the million bucks fair and square?
Akiza: I could kick your two-timing butt with my eyes closed and both hand tied behind my back!
Yusei: Gonna be pretty tough to eat 랍스터 like that! (Both growl at each other)
Carly: (Holding onto Mai) Let go!
Mai: 당신 let go!
Carly: Okay! (Lets go of Mai). (in confessional make-up room) They make us do a lot of horrible, humiliating things to each other on the show, and I haven't been very good at most of them. But, when I knocked Mai off her high pedestal, and made her fall into a pit of bubbling tar, well, that was my high point of the competition. (laughs) Maybe my whole life!
Chris: 다음 up, Sayer and Yami. (Cut to the pedestals, then to Sayer's, as he strikes an award-winning pose.)
Sayer: (in confessional make-up room, covered in tar) I'm gonna win the million, but that shot of me standing atop the stone column is worth even more. It's gonna be an iconic image for the series. Hey, Mina was right about the tar, my skin does look even better.
Yami: (in confessional make up room) I never thought I would say this but I'm scared of... beavers! Especially fake prehistoric beavers.
Yusei: (to Yami) Just don't go and lose this challenge for us, beavers can't swim through tar! (the beavers swim through tar)
Yami: Their teeth are the size of railway spikes!
Tea: You'll be okay, baby.
Yusei: Don't be a wimp! The columns are plaster, not wood, and beavers can't climb! (one 비버 eats the stand, the other starts to climb) I guess my knowledge of prehistoric beavers is a little rusty.
Yami: Down beavers, down! Get back to your dam! (falls) Woaahhh!
Jack: That leaves the teams tied, and us with a grudge match between Yusei and Akiza, on the same column! 당신 just can't write this stuff!
Akiza: Don't get too hyped, Yusei won't last 더 많이 than two seconds.
Yusei: (laughs) Quit trying to make-out with me.
Akiza: All you're going to 키스 is the end of my bone!
Yusei: (in confessional make-up room) It's like there were two Akiza's up there; The girl I wanted to knock into the tar pit, and the hottie in the 모피 bikini.
Akiza: Sure, Yusei has this primal animal magnetism, but he also makes me want to hit him where it hurts!
Jack: Well, I'd say the Gaffers had a better chance with the one million BC; BC, Before Comedy.
Mai: (Comes out of the black tar pit and notices her wig) Give me back my wig! (Mai assaults the Pterodactyl) Nobody messes with my hair!
Akiza: (in confessional make-up room with a plate of lobster) Yusei got what was coming to him, and so did I! Mmm, 랍스터 and Belgian chocolate!
Yusei: (squeaks in pain) Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why!!!?
Jack: (picks his teeth) I know everyone wanted to see Mai cut off Akiza's hair. Trust me, so did I. (sips from Mr. Coconut) But, the girl's got a kick-butt lawyer, can't harm a hair on her head. (continues to pick his teeth) See ya 다음 time, kiddies! (tosses toothpick aside) Same Jack Time, (tosses Mr. Coconut aside) Same Jack Channel! (glass breaks) Uh... wasn't me! (runs away)
