I wrote this about my (now ex) boyfriend, but still felt something about the poem, if not him. I'd 사랑 some criticism on it (hopefully constructive) :).
Treacle dripping from our scars
Pooling on a jagged floor
당신 are gone, still I know
From clustered trees and homemade vows
That we are one. And as 당신 lead
Your life of promise, graft and need
Know that we are one the same
Intertwined are 심장 at name.
당신 may notice that only the 초 verse rhymes, this is an attempt to show the idea of a one-sided relationship in its form in it's one-sided rhyme scheme. This is probably quite stupid- let me know.
Treacle dripping from our scars
Pooling on a jagged floor
당신 are gone, still I know
From clustered trees and homemade vows
That we are one. And as 당신 lead
Your life of promise, graft and need
Know that we are one the same
Intertwined are 심장 at name.
당신 may notice that only the 초 verse rhymes, this is an attempt to show the idea of a one-sided relationship in its form in it's one-sided rhyme scheme. This is probably quite stupid- let me know.
I wish...
I could exorcise the demons in your mind
Remove the darkness from your soul
Take the pain from your
Wipe the tears from your eyes
And lessen the burden 당신 carry
But I live miles from you
And cannot be with you
But I can be with 당신 in spirit
And can only hope these words
Written from afar
Can help ease your mind and soul
Your grief and pain
Has touched me in a way
No has been able to
May 당신 find the peace 당신 seek
An the 사랑 당신 deserve
Your happiness is my greatest concern
And greatest joy
I could exorcise the demons in your mind
Remove the darkness from your soul
Take the pain from your
Wipe the tears from your eyes
And lessen the burden 당신 carry
But I live miles from you
And cannot be with you
But I can be with 당신 in spirit
And can only hope these words
Written from afar
Can help ease your mind and soul
Your grief and pain
Has touched me in a way
No has been able to
May 당신 find the peace 당신 seek
An the 사랑 당신 deserve
Your happiness is my greatest concern
And greatest joy