As twilight fell over Paris, it was as though reality loosened its hold. The ancient and modern buildings battled for domination of the street, and of one’s senses. The juxtaposition of old and new was on the precipice of being overwhelming. We were all caught in limbo between the past and present.
Limbo wasn’t a good place for me. My thoughts sprang out and ranged in all directions, with nothing solid to contain them. There were no comforting boundaries in the area between dreams and reason, and nowhere to hide.
I told myself that I shouldn’t the horizon, that I don’t need boundaries, I would be better if I faced the world head on.
I was lying.
Ignorance truly is bliss. Sometimes I feel like I am a weakling, for not wanting the ugly truth, but life is so much easier when 당신 don’t know what makes people cry at night.
Art is simpler, it doesn’t have emotions, and it can’t leave you. It doesn’t need 당신 to feel its pain.
My daughter thrived in Paris, I could tell. Her eyes hungrily scanned the churches and shops, absorbing the atmosphere. Paris had always been Mona’s dream, so we went, her to see the wonders, me to face the past that I had been running from
for far too long.
We walked down the streets, simply looking. Mona had drifted away from me to talk to a book vendor. I knew we were near the café. As though my thought had called it into existence, I could suddenly see it, the signature red-and-white striped awnings gently flapping in the early evening breeze. I couldn’t go it go in, I just couldn’t. And yet-
“Mona,” I called, the words slipping from my lips. She turned to face me, saying goodbye to her book vendor friend. “You want to eat?” I asked. We had finally come to the café. Trois Fourchettes et Une Cuillere hadn’t changed at all since I came here in college with him. Even the tablecloths were the same ones we had laughed over. It was our, me and Mona’s, last night there; we had a flight in the morning. Suddenly, I knew that I couldn’t leave Paris without facing the place.
Mona examined the café, combing it with the same intensity that she had taken in the view of Paris with. A smile formed on her soft mouth, as she nodded eagerly.
We walked into the café. It smelled the same, just the same as when he had taken me here. I was struggling. It was so tempting to fall into a sea of memories, to forget that I stood here with the one person I loved most in the world. But I couldn’t, because Mona needed me in this strange city.
I needed her to need me.
As we crossed the threshold, the maitre d’ walked up and gave us his typical once-over. I couldn’t believe that Jacques still worked here. Back when I had come here with Paul, we had always laughed at Jacques, the haughty French waiter who hated his job. Seeing him made me want to cry, because he was the same, and I was barely recognizable as the person who had come here years before.
Jacques began speaking, but the words came at me from the other end of a tunnel. I wasn’t sure I could take it, being there.
No. Mona had been strong for me, even when I knew I was the one that should be comforting her. I couldn’t let that happen again. Paris was Mona’s dream and I refused to ruin her last night there 의해 running back to the hotel. It was just a building. Just a collection of bricks, drywall, and roofing propped up in a square. I shouldn’t let it have power over me. But it still did.
I looked down at Mona and saw her staring up at me expectantly. “What did he say?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t important.
“You’re the French scholar,” She responded. I shrugged.
Jacques was looking at us again. I knew what was coming. “Vous êtes ingnorant Américaines. De cette façon, s’il vous plait.” He really hadn’t changed, I reflected. I had been greeted this way so many times before, albeit under different circumstances. Paul had always come with me; I had never been there without him. I felt breakable, like it wouldn’t take much to shatter the illusion of control I had built for Mona.
Jacques stalked off without a glance back to us.
Mona looked shocked. “What now?” she asked me.
“Follow him, I guess,” I replied, feeling like I viewed events from the wrong end of a telescope.
“With your different colored eyes, poor Jacques must have really thought we were crazy Americans!” I said once we were seated. Even to my own ears, that joke sounded weak.
Mona winked her trademark eyes, one green and one blue
We sat down at a small 표, 테이블 in the corner of the café. Jacques left us with his customary haste, eager to be rid of our company. Parisians surrounded us, talking the night away, and tuxedo clad waiters ran about. Mona and I fell into a companionable silence, just taking in the atmosphere, but for different reasons.
That was when I saw him.
He was there. Paul. He was there. It couldn’t be, not after all these years. No, it wasn’t him… No, it was.
He was walking behind Jacques, on his way to a table. A small, sad smile filled the familiar face. He walked the same; his face was the same, just with 더 많이 lines and gray in his hair.
I couldn’t stop staring at him, my eyes taking him in.
He was looking at me too. Our eyes locked. He looked away, staring ahead of himself, not looking right 또는 left.
He was there; and I was there. All of a sudden the dam broke. Memories tumbled over me, each sharper and clearer than the last. I remembered the 일 we met, at this very café. The dates we went on, the delicious, scary, exhilarating feeling of falling in love. All the memories that I had tried to repress returned to me, and they came with a vengeance. The fights, each one growing worse than the last. His drinking, my fear. The way his face no longer lit up when he saw me. The 일 he left. The 일 he left. The 일 he left.
The 일 I had Mona, and how her eyes were just like his. Watching her grow, loving her, wishing he was there. But he never was, and never knew.
Paul walked behind me and took his seat. He had come alone. I glanced at Mona, comparing her face to his. She was looking from me to Paul, her eyes puzzled.
I needed to focus on her. I pulled myself from my memories, locking them away, where they only came out at night.
I popped an 올리브 from the 표, 테이블 into my mouth, wincing as the strong saltiness burst over my tongue. “These things are salty, aren’t they darling?” I asked. Mona, Mona, focus on Mona.
“Oh yeah, really salty.” Mona agreed, nodding. “Very much so.”
Her eyes were intuitive. She couldn’t know. Couldn’t know that she had been an accident, that her father didn’t know she was alive. I had been stupid, but really I was trying to be the best mother I could.
“I wonder what I’ll get,” I mused, hoping to distract Mona from what I considered a dangerous train of thought.
I looked down at the menu, but I was 로스트 in contemplation. I knew that he saw me, but I didn’t know what he thought. Was he happy, 또는 angry that I had come there? His normally expressive face had been blank when he looked at me. But he hadn’t glanced right through me either. That was something. I was still someone to him, I just didn’t know who.
Mona couldn’t know. That much I was certain of. She had rarely asked about her father, and when she did, I never told her his name. She was a beautiful, amazing person and had gotten to be that way without Paul in her life.
The small, reasonable voice in my head told me that it wasn’t Paul’s fault he had no contact with her. I had made the decision not to tell him, soon after we ended things. And I didn’t need him. I had done a damn good job with Mona; as good as he could have done, if not better.
It didn’t matter that he hadn’t been there. And if I had told him he would have done the decent thing and married me, the thing that was expected of him. I couldn’t have told him, my pride wouldn’t let me.
Jacques had returned. He stood over us, waiting.
“Mona,” I called. She seemed to return to her body.
I truly looked at the menu for the first time, scanning the familiar rows.
“Le poisson s’il vous plait,” I decided, asking for the fish.
After Mona had ordered, Jacques left, walking in the stiff, trademark way of his. Paul had always had a joke about Jacques, but I could not remember it anymore. Funny how the good times blurred together and each moment of the bad stood out. I figured that said something about human nature, but I was suddenly too tired to think.
I wanted to go back to the hotel, and to forget this disastrous 일 entirely. Paul needed to be far, far away from me and my thoughts.
I met Mona’s eyes, and smiled, glad that she wasn’t talking much. I think she knew I needed to think.
I chanced a glance behind me, on the pretense of adjusting my purse. Paul was 글쓰기 in a small black notebook. He still carried it around? Even during out short days together, he had always carried with him that same little book, jotting thoughts, poems, songs and ideas down.
Again, I looked at Mona, guilty for having had almost no conversation with her. She was staring at a point behind my shoulder, her face both prying and scared of what she might find. Her eyes were boring holes in whatever she was fixed on, and I knew it was Paul. How much had she detected? I thought I was great at disguising emotions, and it had worked so many times before.
Mona was completely unaware that I was looking at her, so intense was her focus. I saw resolve slowly form on her features.
She knew. It must have been the eyes. They were exactly the same, down to the flecks of color in the irises. Paul was her father, and she knew it. Intuition told me so. What was I going to say? I knew Mona, and I knew a confrontation was coming. She was too direct to be silent.
What could I tell her? The truth? It was ugly. My life had been far from a fairy tale, and my prince was a writer with different colored eyes who didn’t 사랑 me anymore. Did Mona really want to know that?
I had only a few 초 before she would ask. I had never lied to Mona, except t protect her. Was this one of those times?
Her mouth opened.
“Angela?” She asked, voice shaking slightly, “Who is that man over there?”
I closed my eyes for a moment, taking refuge in the darkness.
When I opened them, I could tell she already knew.
Limbo wasn’t a good place for me. My thoughts sprang out and ranged in all directions, with nothing solid to contain them. There were no comforting boundaries in the area between dreams and reason, and nowhere to hide.
I told myself that I shouldn’t the horizon, that I don’t need boundaries, I would be better if I faced the world head on.
I was lying.
Ignorance truly is bliss. Sometimes I feel like I am a weakling, for not wanting the ugly truth, but life is so much easier when 당신 don’t know what makes people cry at night.
Art is simpler, it doesn’t have emotions, and it can’t leave you. It doesn’t need 당신 to feel its pain.
My daughter thrived in Paris, I could tell. Her eyes hungrily scanned the churches and shops, absorbing the atmosphere. Paris had always been Mona’s dream, so we went, her to see the wonders, me to face the past that I had been running from
for far too long.
We walked down the streets, simply looking. Mona had drifted away from me to talk to a book vendor. I knew we were near the café. As though my thought had called it into existence, I could suddenly see it, the signature red-and-white striped awnings gently flapping in the early evening breeze. I couldn’t go it go in, I just couldn’t. And yet-
“Mona,” I called, the words slipping from my lips. She turned to face me, saying goodbye to her book vendor friend. “You want to eat?” I asked. We had finally come to the café. Trois Fourchettes et Une Cuillere hadn’t changed at all since I came here in college with him. Even the tablecloths were the same ones we had laughed over. It was our, me and Mona’s, last night there; we had a flight in the morning. Suddenly, I knew that I couldn’t leave Paris without facing the place.
Mona examined the café, combing it with the same intensity that she had taken in the view of Paris with. A smile formed on her soft mouth, as she nodded eagerly.
We walked into the café. It smelled the same, just the same as when he had taken me here. I was struggling. It was so tempting to fall into a sea of memories, to forget that I stood here with the one person I loved most in the world. But I couldn’t, because Mona needed me in this strange city.
I needed her to need me.
As we crossed the threshold, the maitre d’ walked up and gave us his typical once-over. I couldn’t believe that Jacques still worked here. Back when I had come here with Paul, we had always laughed at Jacques, the haughty French waiter who hated his job. Seeing him made me want to cry, because he was the same, and I was barely recognizable as the person who had come here years before.
Jacques began speaking, but the words came at me from the other end of a tunnel. I wasn’t sure I could take it, being there.
No. Mona had been strong for me, even when I knew I was the one that should be comforting her. I couldn’t let that happen again. Paris was Mona’s dream and I refused to ruin her last night there 의해 running back to the hotel. It was just a building. Just a collection of bricks, drywall, and roofing propped up in a square. I shouldn’t let it have power over me. But it still did.
I looked down at Mona and saw her staring up at me expectantly. “What did he say?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t important.
“You’re the French scholar,” She responded. I shrugged.
Jacques was looking at us again. I knew what was coming. “Vous êtes ingnorant Américaines. De cette façon, s’il vous plait.” He really hadn’t changed, I reflected. I had been greeted this way so many times before, albeit under different circumstances. Paul had always come with me; I had never been there without him. I felt breakable, like it wouldn’t take much to shatter the illusion of control I had built for Mona.
Jacques stalked off without a glance back to us.
Mona looked shocked. “What now?” she asked me.
“Follow him, I guess,” I replied, feeling like I viewed events from the wrong end of a telescope.
“With your different colored eyes, poor Jacques must have really thought we were crazy Americans!” I said once we were seated. Even to my own ears, that joke sounded weak.
Mona winked her trademark eyes, one green and one blue
We sat down at a small 표, 테이블 in the corner of the café. Jacques left us with his customary haste, eager to be rid of our company. Parisians surrounded us, talking the night away, and tuxedo clad waiters ran about. Mona and I fell into a companionable silence, just taking in the atmosphere, but for different reasons.
That was when I saw him.
He was there. Paul. He was there. It couldn’t be, not after all these years. No, it wasn’t him… No, it was.
He was walking behind Jacques, on his way to a table. A small, sad smile filled the familiar face. He walked the same; his face was the same, just with 더 많이 lines and gray in his hair.
I couldn’t stop staring at him, my eyes taking him in.
He was looking at me too. Our eyes locked. He looked away, staring ahead of himself, not looking right 또는 left.
He was there; and I was there. All of a sudden the dam broke. Memories tumbled over me, each sharper and clearer than the last. I remembered the 일 we met, at this very café. The dates we went on, the delicious, scary, exhilarating feeling of falling in love. All the memories that I had tried to repress returned to me, and they came with a vengeance. The fights, each one growing worse than the last. His drinking, my fear. The way his face no longer lit up when he saw me. The 일 he left. The 일 he left. The 일 he left.
The 일 I had Mona, and how her eyes were just like his. Watching her grow, loving her, wishing he was there. But he never was, and never knew.
Paul walked behind me and took his seat. He had come alone. I glanced at Mona, comparing her face to his. She was looking from me to Paul, her eyes puzzled.
I needed to focus on her. I pulled myself from my memories, locking them away, where they only came out at night.
I popped an 올리브 from the 표, 테이블 into my mouth, wincing as the strong saltiness burst over my tongue. “These things are salty, aren’t they darling?” I asked. Mona, Mona, focus on Mona.
“Oh yeah, really salty.” Mona agreed, nodding. “Very much so.”
Her eyes were intuitive. She couldn’t know. Couldn’t know that she had been an accident, that her father didn’t know she was alive. I had been stupid, but really I was trying to be the best mother I could.
“I wonder what I’ll get,” I mused, hoping to distract Mona from what I considered a dangerous train of thought.
I looked down at the menu, but I was 로스트 in contemplation. I knew that he saw me, but I didn’t know what he thought. Was he happy, 또는 angry that I had come there? His normally expressive face had been blank when he looked at me. But he hadn’t glanced right through me either. That was something. I was still someone to him, I just didn’t know who.
Mona couldn’t know. That much I was certain of. She had rarely asked about her father, and when she did, I never told her his name. She was a beautiful, amazing person and had gotten to be that way without Paul in her life.
The small, reasonable voice in my head told me that it wasn’t Paul’s fault he had no contact with her. I had made the decision not to tell him, soon after we ended things. And I didn’t need him. I had done a damn good job with Mona; as good as he could have done, if not better.
It didn’t matter that he hadn’t been there. And if I had told him he would have done the decent thing and married me, the thing that was expected of him. I couldn’t have told him, my pride wouldn’t let me.
Jacques had returned. He stood over us, waiting.
“Mona,” I called. She seemed to return to her body.
I truly looked at the menu for the first time, scanning the familiar rows.
“Le poisson s’il vous plait,” I decided, asking for the fish.
After Mona had ordered, Jacques left, walking in the stiff, trademark way of his. Paul had always had a joke about Jacques, but I could not remember it anymore. Funny how the good times blurred together and each moment of the bad stood out. I figured that said something about human nature, but I was suddenly too tired to think.
I wanted to go back to the hotel, and to forget this disastrous 일 entirely. Paul needed to be far, far away from me and my thoughts.
I met Mona’s eyes, and smiled, glad that she wasn’t talking much. I think she knew I needed to think.
I chanced a glance behind me, on the pretense of adjusting my purse. Paul was 글쓰기 in a small black notebook. He still carried it around? Even during out short days together, he had always carried with him that same little book, jotting thoughts, poems, songs and ideas down.
Again, I looked at Mona, guilty for having had almost no conversation with her. She was staring at a point behind my shoulder, her face both prying and scared of what she might find. Her eyes were boring holes in whatever she was fixed on, and I knew it was Paul. How much had she detected? I thought I was great at disguising emotions, and it had worked so many times before.
Mona was completely unaware that I was looking at her, so intense was her focus. I saw resolve slowly form on her features.
She knew. It must have been the eyes. They were exactly the same, down to the flecks of color in the irises. Paul was her father, and she knew it. Intuition told me so. What was I going to say? I knew Mona, and I knew a confrontation was coming. She was too direct to be silent.
What could I tell her? The truth? It was ugly. My life had been far from a fairy tale, and my prince was a writer with different colored eyes who didn’t 사랑 me anymore. Did Mona really want to know that?
I had only a few 초 before she would ask. I had never lied to Mona, except t protect her. Was this one of those times?
Her mouth opened.
“Angela?” She asked, voice shaking slightly, “Who is that man over there?”
I closed my eyes for a moment, taking refuge in the darkness.
When I opened them, I could tell she already knew.
This is writen in the point of view of Kara
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Kara stood in apartment and stared out of thr window, just a few moments 이전 someone stopped her from jumping off her flat roof.
"Kara..."the voice said, it was the same voice of the man who saved her.
Kara looked at the time, it was 11.48. She yawned and went into her bedroom.After getting changed she slipped into her bed.That voice ringed through her ears."Kara....".She closed her eyes and almost fell asleep when she herd someone call her name "Kara...."
There was a knock on the front door, Kara grabbed her dressing 겉옷, 가운 and put on her slippers. She walked over to the door and opened it. There was a piece of paper on the floor with wriing on it. I was a note, on the note was written in 7 days all will be alright
Kara awoke from her bed, had it all been a dream? Kara noticed that she had the note in her hand.She read the note over and over again. What did it mean?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Kara stood in apartment and stared out of thr window, just a few moments 이전 someone stopped her from jumping off her flat roof.
"Kara..."the voice said, it was the same voice of the man who saved her.
Kara looked at the time, it was 11.48. She yawned and went into her bedroom.After getting changed she slipped into her bed.That voice ringed through her ears."Kara....".She closed her eyes and almost fell asleep when she herd someone call her name "Kara...."
There was a knock on the front door, Kara grabbed her dressing 겉옷, 가운 and put on her slippers. She walked over to the door and opened it. There was a piece of paper on the floor with wriing on it. I was a note, on the note was written in 7 days all will be alright
Kara awoke from her bed, had it all been a dream? Kara noticed that she had the note in her hand.She read the note over and over again. What did it mean?
Words:
Words flooded my mind,
And some I could taste on the tip of my tongue.
A few flowed out of my mouth,
But that was just some.
There are so many words
As they creep up my throat
On the tip on my tongue, splintering words.
But something surrounds my mouth, like a moat,
And I can't spit them out.
And the words, finally spill out of my mouth,
But they have no tone,
No whispers no shout.
Don't let it get to you:
Don't let it get to you,
The pain that creeps up your spine.
Don't let it get to you,
The pain that's inside.
A simple song,
Says 더 많이 than you'd think
One things wrong,
당신 have no clue what it brings.
The decision is yours,
That's what 당신 need to embrace,
The decision is yours,
Not someone else's to make.
A decision,
affects 더 많이 than you'd think,
If your choice is wrong,
theres no telling what it will bring.
Don't let it get to you,
당신 don't have to choose me.
Dont let it get to you,
Let your decision be free.
Words flooded my mind,
And some I could taste on the tip of my tongue.
A few flowed out of my mouth,
But that was just some.
There are so many words
As they creep up my throat
On the tip on my tongue, splintering words.
But something surrounds my mouth, like a moat,
And I can't spit them out.
And the words, finally spill out of my mouth,
But they have no tone,
No whispers no shout.
Don't let it get to you:
Don't let it get to you,
The pain that creeps up your spine.
Don't let it get to you,
The pain that's inside.
A simple song,
Says 더 많이 than you'd think
One things wrong,
당신 have no clue what it brings.
The decision is yours,
That's what 당신 need to embrace,
The decision is yours,
Not someone else's to make.
A decision,
affects 더 많이 than you'd think,
If your choice is wrong,
theres no telling what it will bring.
Don't let it get to you,
당신 don't have to choose me.
Dont let it get to you,
Let your decision be free.
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two 의해 fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make 사랑 to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the 장미 are dying
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity
Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two 의해 fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone
Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed our bodies to become another pair of hollow shadows that make 사랑 to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the 장미 are dying
blood fills the faces of my fantasies
no mercy,you're trying to put me down
i can see clearly as you're taking a 그네, 스윙 at me
come and i'll push 당신 to the ground
what are 당신 doing? what do 당신 think this is doing to me?
you're taking all my faith
what are 당신 leaving me now?!
i will make 당신 suffer just like 당신 made me suffer
i will watch 당신 screaming and begging for forgiveness
all my hate can not be bound
i will not be bound 의해 your darkest demons
so try to take my life and put me to the ground
i will follow 당신 and torture 당신 and i'll watch 당신 screaming
look at the bloody faces smiling at you,taking 당신 down and making 당신 drown
i wanna kill 당신 the same way 당신 killed me
leaving me thoughtless
당신 can try to tell me that i'm worthless
but 당신 can not break me down
gonna take 당신 down because nothing in this world is going to save me
no mercy,you're trying to put me down
i can see clearly as you're taking a 그네, 스윙 at me
come and i'll push 당신 to the ground
what are 당신 doing? what do 당신 think this is doing to me?
you're taking all my faith
what are 당신 leaving me now?!
i will make 당신 suffer just like 당신 made me suffer
i will watch 당신 screaming and begging for forgiveness
all my hate can not be bound
i will not be bound 의해 your darkest demons
so try to take my life and put me to the ground
i will follow 당신 and torture 당신 and i'll watch 당신 screaming
look at the bloody faces smiling at you,taking 당신 down and making 당신 drown
i wanna kill 당신 the same way 당신 killed me
leaving me thoughtless
당신 can try to tell me that i'm worthless
but 당신 can not break me down
gonna take 당신 down because nothing in this world is going to save me
Once upon a time There was a girl named Abby. She loved to talk. Her teachers eventually stopped calling on her.
One day, she talked during a 불, 화재 while a kid in her class was telling her teacher where the 17 other children were.
The teacher couldn't here her, and the 검색 for the children lasted twelve hours. During that time, a gang 스톨, 훔친 five computers, three cars, seventeen dogs, and blackmailed the mayor into giving them seven grand.
Abby was expelled from the school.
When she told her parents, they imediately looked for a school for her to go to.
But the only school that gave her acceptence was the class in the juvinille deliquent center.
So she was 집 schooled.
But she caused her parents so much trouble that in a week they 로스트 their all hair and were standing on the thin line between sanity and the nut house.
So they duct-taped her mouth shut.
THE END
One day, she talked during a 불, 화재 while a kid in her class was telling her teacher where the 17 other children were.
The teacher couldn't here her, and the 검색 for the children lasted twelve hours. During that time, a gang 스톨, 훔친 five computers, three cars, seventeen dogs, and blackmailed the mayor into giving them seven grand.
Abby was expelled from the school.
When she told her parents, they imediately looked for a school for her to go to.
But the only school that gave her acceptence was the class in the juvinille deliquent center.
So she was 집 schooled.
But she caused her parents so much trouble that in a week they 로스트 their all hair and were standing on the thin line between sanity and the nut house.
So they duct-taped her mouth shut.
THE END