I sat on a black, leather couch, starring at the deep blue walls. I was in Alexander’s office, for my appointment. I’d come here straight from the cathedral. My hair was tangled, and messy. I still wore plaid pajama bottoms, and an old, gray tee shirt.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, 또는 not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see 당신 again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see 당신 sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep 당신 busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know 당신 left a message on my phone. I believe 당신 asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander said with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called 당신 before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” said Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the 일 Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t 당신 been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are 당신 still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do 당신 have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, 또는 Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long 이전 saying the voices had been bothering you,” said Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked 질문 I’ve never been faced with,” I said not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few 질문 about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
I came to a realization last night. Today, I would make my move. I have done enough to hold my own. Now I could be happy…Maybe.
I debated whether, 또는 not I should tell Alexander about Lucy. Dr. Anozi would’ve liked the idea, but I’m not sure about Dr. Laveney.
I also wondered if I should tell him about my outbreak from the other night. Should I tell Alexander about the voices? I would decide when he asked.
After a moment, a sharp knock startled me. I looked up at the wooden door as it opened. Dr. Laveney stood in the doorway, peering at me with his coco brown eyes. A smile played on his thin lips.
“Damien Demidov, I was wondering when I’d see 당신 again,” Alexander said.
“You knew when I’d be in,” I said, returning the smile.
“I was hoping I’d see 당신 sooner,” he sat down on a light brown chair across from the couch.
“I’m always busy,” I said, remembering how the week had been.
“Yes, I can tell, new jobs keep 당신 busy,” I knew that all too well.
“Yes, I know. I just received my license,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. Alexander knew I had my license I’d called his phone for that patient I lost.
“I know 당신 left a message on my phone. I believe 당신 asked me to call in a prescription for a dead patient,” Alexander said with a peculiar look on his face. I couldn’t quite categorize the emotion.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” I lied, making myself not seem like a total dumb ass. “Keep in mind, though. I called 당신 before he committed suicide.”
“Rule number one when working with psychotic patients at a hospital: never, EVER leave the room. They will end up like Jared,” said Alexander.
“Hopefully, I won’t have to work in the hospital anymore. Maybe I can keep to the asylum,” I said.
“How is the institution doing? I haven’t been up there since the 일 Dr. Anozi left,” Alexander moved his head to the side.
“Good, I’m up there now. I have Dr. Anozi’s old office,” I said.
“Really? I was wondering who would get it.”
“So, why haven’t 당신 been to the institution?” I asked.
“I’ve been on vacation for the last week. Before that most of my cases have been at the hospital,” he answered.
“Oh, are 당신 still working at the asylum?”
“Yes, but not as often as the hospital,” Alexander looked out the tall, glass window as a bird went by.
“Do 당신 have an office up there?” I asked, making plans to find the key and raid it.
“No, I don’t. The only office I have it this one. At the private practice,” Dr. Anozi, and Alexander had both worked at the private practice. It was an exclusive psychiatry building. Only certain people could enter. Even I couldn’t enter without Dr. Anozi, 또는 Dr. Laveney.
“It’s a nice office,” I said, running out of things to say.
“Thank you. Well, Damien, how have the past few weeks been?” Alexander asked.
“They’ve been decent,” I told the half-truth. It hadn’t been extremely bad, but it hadn’t been great either.
“Really? Grey called me not long 이전 saying the voices had been bothering you,” said Alexander, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Well, they gave me trouble during a thunderstorm,” I said.
“Was the topic connected to the storm?” I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
“No, I was asked 질문 I’ve never been faced with,” I said not giving it all away.
“Such as?” Dr. Laveney dug for information.
“There were a few 질문 about my sexual identity,” Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked at me. There it went, what I’d been trying to cover up for years. It was starring me straight in the face, and I couldn’t deny it.
hear my
unspeakable words,
those are screaming
inside my 로스트 strife!
See me,
see it through my
frightened eyes,
those will show you,
those will defeat
the peace itself.
That peace,
well-known to you,
but not to me.
Not to me.
I've seen it only
in their eyes,
while mine were dreaming.
Grabbing my soul,
living inside,
the fear loves me more,
smiling to my faith.
Hear me,
hear those
unspeakable words,
those are living here,
praying silently,
crying sternly.
Hope is awaken,
but weakened.
Hating fear
and its cruelty,
it struggles tirelessly,
though fading...
Fading
along with
unseen dreams,
sleeping
along with sorrow.
The doors
are locked,
Sun is not
illuminating
my path,
not mine.
Fears sleep
in there,
loving my failures,
listening to my
unspeakable words,
those are prayers,
unseen dreams,
fear lives within.