Chapter 1: Denying it

Damon Salvatore. Damon Salvatore. the name felt so familiar and comforting. it soothe me in times i thought nothing in the world could. at the time, stefan tried everything in his power to try and make me smile 또는 at least make my worried dissaper. but he couldn't, as hard as he tried he just couldn't. it wasn't his fault. and it wasn't my fault for falling in 사랑 with damon the way that I did, i'm not to blame. i mean who wouldn't fall in 사랑 with Damon Salvatore?? he was the perfect guy. i loved him. but there were times that i couldn't admit that even to myself. damon and i went through so much; death, lose, betrayal, love, happiness and...and heartbreak.
i rember when damon found out katherine wasn't in the tomb after all this time of trying and searching, she wasn't there. i saw his 심장 break right in front of my eyes. and it broke my own heart. so i hugged him. trying to make him feel better, wishing i could just 키스 the pain away and everything would be ok, that he would be ok. but i couldn't do that, not because i didn't want to, but because it would be wrong somehow. i chuckle at the thought now, because it would be wrong? wrong because i was with Stefan at the time, but still that's barely an excuse!
i sighed, god! i can't take this anymore! All this painful, overwhelming memories consuming me time and time again. it's not fair!! i have enough grief as it is!! i don't want this!! damn it!! as all this thoughts 십자가, 크로스 my mind, i sob and sob harder and harder as 분 go by, every 초 making the memories unbearable:
"Damon but me down!!" I yelled happily while giggleing uncontrobly at Damon lifting me up his arms and tickling me everywhere.
"if 당신 say so.." he says with a smirk on his face, as usual, and he lays me down in the green 잔디 and continues tickling me.
"stop! stop!" i yell while laughing. damon laughs along with her and finally stopping. we lay in the 잔디 smiling at each other. he wraps his arms around me and kisses me sweetly. i smile looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. he smiled back continues to 키스 me, moving from my lips to my neck and stopping in my ear.
"i 사랑 you" he whispers sweetly in my ear. I shiver feeling his breath so close, feeling his 사랑 for me so close.
"I 사랑 당신 too..so much" I whisper back to him, he smiles and carees my cheek with his hand, cupps my face with his strong hands and kisses me passionately, but sweetly. i loved his kisses and the way they make me feel..they are so unique and different, they are sweet and loving and tender but also fierce and passionate and loyal and protactive and so on...basically he puts all his emotion into this kisses and they make me feel so special and loved. HE makes me feel special and loved. I loved him so much. and i don't know what i've do if he...no..i refused to think about that. he was my everything. i wouldn't let him die. never.

I flinch as that memory, like all the others, quickly floats away from my grasp. i thought he couldn't die. i mean that was what immortal was supposed to be right? they weren't SUPPOSED to die!!! I cry and sob and yell and let all my grief out. they say they are 5 stages of grief, i guess i'm still in first stage then; Denying it. because i was right, it wasn't SUPPOSED to happen. i would shook my head at Stefan and I'd say "no! he would come back....he would come back for me!! i know he would...i just know it". he wouldn't fight me on it....at least not when he realized it would actually make a different. because no matter how many times he would tell me he wouldn't be coming back i would fight him and yell and shout and sob that he was wrong. he would still find me in the morning in Damon and My room looking 의해 the window, waiting for Damon to come back....to come back for me.
Damon Salvatore. Damon Salvatore. the name is still familiar and comfortable. and yes the name still soothes me, after everything, his name still soothes me. he's still and forever will be my everything. back then i couldn't admit, not even to myself, that I was in 사랑 with Damon Salvatore. but now....Now i can't admit and will problably never will be able to admit that:
Damon Salvatore, My everything, is dead.
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A/N thanks for reading!! and plz forgive my spelling mistakes. plz comment/review and tell if u want me to continue and what other memories do u want me to write about. thxs!! <3 <3 <3
xoxo,
-Merzy