Andy walks into Michael's office.

"hey, Kevin," he says without looking from his computer screen.

"it's Andy."

Michael looks up. "Oh, hey. Just trying to figure out what to get Jan for Christmas...have you ever heard of this ebay thing? it's amazing..."

Andy sighs. "Don't get her anything made of ice...it will just melt." He starts to wimper. "Just like her love for you."

"Okay...i wont..."

Pam: (Talking Head) "It appears that Andy and Angela are no longer together. Now Andy is mopey and wants to get back together with her. And Dwight is happy and wants to get back together with her. (pause) This might not end well."

Andy walks over to Angela, and yells, "What did I do wrong? I just don't get it!"

Angela: "We just weren't meant to be together. It wouldn't have worked out."

Andy: "God! Do you want me to punch another wall or something?" Punches Kevin's desk and hurts his hand. "Ow!"

Oscar's on the phone and looks up, obviously irritated. "No, dear, that was just Andy again. The office is not under attack." he says into the phone, and glares at Andy.

Michael's still on EBAY, looking at an old pair of shoe's that have supposedly been worn by Jim Carrey.

Michael (Looking at Jim Carrey's old shoes): I bid two hundred dollars, and... (Clicks the mouse) Bingo. Now, what do I get for Jan...?

Michael (Talking head): As you may recall, I recently cost Jan a four million dollar lawsuit. She claims that she will kill me if her present isn't extremely awesome. But, I don't think that she meant it. Did she?

Jim at Pam's desk: "We're all going to Poor Richard's. Want to come?"
Pam: "I can't. I have to stay and help Michael find a present for Jan."
Pam: (talking head) "Every night since the day after Thanksgiving, Michael has made me stay late to help him find a present for Jan. Then, every night at about midnight, he cuddles up on his office floor and asks if I want to join him."

Andy is sitting down in the break room, a notebook in front of him, looking depressed.
Pam walks in, sighs, and shugs at the camera. She sits down next to him.
Pam: "Hey, Andy. How are you?"
Andy: "I'm heartbroken. Utterly and truely..."
Pam points to the notebook.
Pam: "Is that...poetry?"
Andy covers it, defensively.
Andy: "No. Hey you're a girl..."
Pam (murmurs): "Oh no..."
Andy: "What should I get Angela to make her realize that she's in love with me?"
Pam: "Not a ham!"
Andy: "I didn't..."
Pam (quickly): "Never mind. (Kindly) I think that if she's said its over, then its over. But if you really want to look. maybe you can help Michael look for something for Jan and he can help you with Angela."

(Jim is in Michael's office, watching him shop on Ebay)
Michael: Ooh, look at this, Jim, the original Star Wars Christmas Special. And for only one hundred and ninety dollars!!! I am so getting that!!! (Puts in a bid)
Jim: So, are you and Jan still having money problems?
Michael: Yeah. Why?
Jim: No reason!
(Andy enters)
Andy: Hey, Mike. I need some help with this whole Angela situation. Got any advice?
Michael: Yeah. Get her a super great Christmas present. Nobody can hate the person who them an awesome gift!
Andy: I guess that makes sense... But what should I give her?
Michael: Well, Angela's really religous, right? Well, there's this Kevin Smith movie about god called "Dogma". Perhaps you should get it for her.
Andy: Cool. I bet she'd love that.
Jim: No, she wouldn't.
Michael: What are you talking about? It's got Jay and Silent Bob in it.
Andy: Awesome.
Jim: No, it's not. She will kill you if you get it for her. She will literally kill you!!!

Damn. This forum sure died quickly.

Meredith is standing in the kitchen, sucking the bottom out of her Big Gulp cup.

Jim enters.

Meredith: Hey Jimmy. What's really with you and Pammy? Do you really like her?

Jim: Yeah, I do.

Meredith (moves closer to Jim): Nah, a big, tall strapping boy like you needs a real woman to help you appreciate being a man. Call me when you're ready for the big leagues.

Meredith, walks away, sipping hard on her cup.

Jim: OK, Meredith.

Toby and Pam enters holding copies of "Catcher In The Rye".

Toby: We really should keep the Finer Things Club exclusive to preserve its...

Pam: Jim, I was just telling Toby you do a great impression of Holden Caulfield. Do it for him, Jim. Please.

Jim (notices the disdain on Toby's face): Nah, I don't think...

Toby: You know, Jim, I need to see you in my office.

Jim: OK.

Toby shuffles off quickly.

Pam: What was that?

Jim: I guess he's seen my "Cather In The Rye" imitation.

Toby: jim i need to know if i may ask pam....umm never mind.

Jim: no ask her what, had ot be important if you called me back here.

toby: never mind. but i dont appreciate you mocking some of my favorite literature.

micheal bursts in
Micheal: Toby your such a nerd "hey im toby and i read literachachures(litera-catchers), hey jim do you read"
(micheal talking head) yeah i dont read, jan thinks i should so i can have a more mature conversation, but what does she know. actually she knows alot. but she doesnt know how to put a cigerette through a quarter, or well she just doesnt.

Toby: The real reason I called you here is because I needed to talk to you about your relationship with Pam.

Jim: OK.

Toby: Somehow corporate found out that you are having a sexual relationship with your subordinate and...

Jim: But Toby, we came to you about it. We wanted to sign the waiver-relationship-dating thing. You said we should wait!

Toby: There's gonna be a hearing, Jim. You could lose your job.

(Toby talking head): He knew the rules.

Toby suppresses a smile.

Pam and Jim are sitting in teh break room, sharing a Coke.

Pam: so what does this mean?

Jim: (shrugs) I dunno...it's stupid, I mean, if Michael and Jan could do it, then what's the problem?

Pam: Can't we just sign that form?

Jim: Toby said i was too late.

Pam: ....we could tell them we broke up.

Jim: What?

Pam: Why not? We didn't rally want anyone to know anyways, right?

Jim: I don't know, Pam.

Pam: Look, all we have to do is be sneaky about it.

Jim: They'll see right through it.

Pam: No they won't! I'll...I'll slap you!

Jim: Wow, getting really into this, aren't we?

Pam: Just go talk to Toby. Tell him we had a big fight. We're never speaking to each other again, that sorta thing. After that...we'll just hide it.

Jim: (sighs) I'll try...

(Talking Head)
Jim: I dunno. I am petty good at hiding...the whole... 'P' situation. (shrugs, making a face.) It's okay. We're talking in code.

the next day

(andy comes through the door carrying a wrapped gift and approches Pam's desk)

Andy: Hello Pam! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Pam: (smiling as usual) Hello Andy.

(andy walks over to Angela's desk)

Angela: *sigh* Andy I've told you..

Andy: -Angela! Please take me back! I spend my nights crying and mourning your loss! Please! Give me one more chance! I'm sorry I killed your cat! He was in such a great pain...I...I didn't know what to do!

(andy hands the gift over to Angela)

Angela: (sobbing, slowly opens the gift)

come on what next is jim or micheal gonna kill angela's cat. let that story go.

Jim and Pam standing next to the breakroom where Toby caught them engaged in PDA.

Pam: I don't care Jim, you should have gotten out the car and called me to pick you up when you found out that they were taking you to Utica.

Jim: Pam, you're being totally ridiculous. What are I suppose to do, avoid the part of the world that Karen occupies?

Pam: No. I just don't expect you to participate in a road trip to her job.

Jim: I'm not having this conversation. It's too ridiculous.

Jim turns away from Pam, a slight smile on his face. He is heading in Toby's direction. Pam angrily inserts coins in the vending machine, grabs the Butterfinger she purchased and throws it at Jim. It hits him in the back of the head and lands at Toby's feet.

Toby: Is everything OK, Jim?

Jim (turns to look at Pam with a smile, then feigns annoyance as he turns back to Toby): It's raining candy, Toby.

THAT SHOULD BE THE END OF THE EPISODE.

I especially like the last line indiankelly. "it's raining candy toby"

time to start a new one, next post is next episode.