Oh what might have been – and what should have been? Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson as Harry and Hermione in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Photograph: Jaap Buitendijk
Age: 13-60.

Appearance: Fervid.

As in feverish? Have they tried taking paracetamol? No, the 불, 화재 that burns within a shipper burns with a fierceness that no mere over-the-counter antipyretic may douse.

Yes, definitely. Except I don't understand a word of what 당신 said. What is a shipper? 당신 know Harry Potter?

I do. 당신 know Hermione Granger?

That's the girl, right? It is.

In that case, yes. Did 당신 ever wish they'd, 당신 know, get together?

Not fervidly, if I'm honest. Well, a lot of shippers did. Shippers are 팬 of a story who yearn for two of its characters to develop a romantic relationship, and some write their own stories in which it happens. And guess what?

What? Now JK Rowling admits the shippers were right and she was wrong: Hermione should never have married Ron.

Oops. "I'm sorry," she said in an interview in some magazine. "It was a choice I made for very personal reasons, not for reasons of credibility."

Oh. So are the shippers happy about this? 또는 angry? 또는 melancholy? Probably 더 많이 wistful. But don't worry. They like being wistful. And they are used to imagining some fairly unlikely things, such as Harry and Draco getting together, 또는 Ron and Harry – they called that "Rorry".

I see. Is there a strong gay subtext in Harry Potter? I don't think they need one. Shipping is often said to have begun with people imagining a gay relationship between Captain Kirk and Mr Spock in 별, 스타 Trek.

Wouldn't that be "illogical"? Let's not get into that.

Did they call it "Captain Kock"? Hush now. One 더 많이 recent ship is "Johnlock", after the union of Sherlock and John Watson, which is a 인기 판타지 among 팬 of the BBC's hit series.

"The game is afoot!" they could shout while unbuttoning. Yes. That would be sexy. And of course …

What? Some people think we have been concealing our true feelings from each other all these years … and from ourselves.

Interesting. Can I just check, are 당신 a man 또는 a woman? I've never been quite sure myself.

Do say: "Get a room!"

Don't say: "Get a life."