Duets (EP01)
Rachel: "-Broadway show first..."
Puck: "Shut up."
Grilled Cheesus (EP03)
Puck: "I mean I see God every time I make out with a new chick."
Rachel: "Okay, th-that doesn't make any sense. In fact it's stupid!"
Puck: "Are 당신 calling mister Billy Joel stupid?"
Duets (EP04)
Will: "Bad news guys; Puckerman's in juvie."
Tina: "Really was just a matter of time."
Quinn: "What did he do?"
Will: "He drove his moms Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM."
Rachel: "W-when is he getting out?"
Never Been Kissed (EP06)
Rachel: "SPIES!"
Puck: "Lighten up."
The Substitute (EP07)
Rachel: "Did someone say something about a substit-uuute!"
Puck: "Yes! It works!"
--
Holly: "Rachel, 당신 suck! Oh my god, you're a total drag! Has anyone ever told 당신 that?"
Puck: "I have."
Furt (EP08)
Finn: "Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry."
Special Education (EP09)
Puck: "Are 당신 okay?"
Rachel: "Why are 당신 talking to me? Are 당신 going to steal something from me?"
Puck: "Look, after six hours in that port-a-John, Ozzie himself would've turned to God. I prayed- I promised him that if he got me out of there I'd start being nicer to people. Then I realized there was no way I could do that so I changed it, to just Jews."
Rachel: "It's Finn..."
Puck. "Boyfriend troubles. I got that covered, considering I'm usually the cause of them, I'd say I'm an expert. Walk with me."
Rachel: "Have 당신 been working out? Your arms seem bigger..."
Puck: "It's the steroids."
--
Rachel: "Puck got Lauren Zizes to take your place,"
--
Santana: "Nobody tells 당신 anything because A: you're a blabber mouth and B: we all just pretend to like you."
Puck: "That's not true, I kinda like her."
--
Rachel: "Is something wrong? Did I bite 당신 again?"
Puck: "I did this to Finn once before. I can't do it again... I'm sorry, I have to go."
A Very 글리 크리스마스 (EP10)
Rachel: "I can't believe that that teacher let her students speak to us like that!"
Puck: "I can't believe she threw her shoe at us..."
The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle (EP11)
Will: "Rachel, Puck- haven't 당신 guys been working on something? Why don't 당신 give it a whirl."
Rachel: "Fine. As offended I am 의해 their presence here, I won't let anything get in the way of a performance."
--
Puck: "-Before I got your girlfriend pregnant and then made out with your other girlfriend..."
--
Finn: "So why'd 당신 sing that duet with Rachel?"
Rachel: *flashback* "I need 당신 to do this number with me to make Finn jealous." *end flashback*
Puck: "Nothing like that will ever happen again."
--
Will: "Rachel, have 당신 actually seen a tackle football game? When they tackle you, it hurts!"
Puck: "Yeah, and not in a good Mellencamp way."
Rachel: "We thought about that."
--
Puck: "Are 당신 ready for this?"
Rachel: "Let's kick some ass!"
Puck and Rachel: "YEAH!"
Silly 사랑 Songs (EP12)
Rachel: "High five!"
--
Rachel: "I-I don't care about Puck."
Blame It On the Alcohol (EP14)
Puck: "What's up my hot little Jewish American princess?"
Rachel: "What do 당신 want, Puckerman?"
Puck: "Well word on the 거리 is that your dads are out of town and you're all alone in your house."
Rachel: "They are on the Rosie O'Donnell cruise. But, who told 당신 that?"
Puck: "It's the kind of information a guy like me tends to know. So, uh, party this Saturday? I'll bring the 맥주 ball! It's a mini keg."
Rachel: "Forget it."
Puck: "Oh c'mon, just the 글리 kids! We're losing our minds all stressed about sectionals and stuff."
Rachel: "Regionals. Besides, 당신 just want a place to have sex and get drunk."
Puck: "Yeah, there's a word for that: a party!"
Rachel: "N-no! Noah, my dads, they, left me alone in my house because they trusted me to be responsible!"
Puck: "They left 당신 alone 'cause 당신 suck and are a total bore!"
--
Finn: "-wait where are 당신 going?"
Rachel: "To find Puckerman! Y'know, my journey from little princess to natural woman begins this Saturday night- at my house!"
--
Rachel: "Why's everybody leaving?"
Puck: "Because this party blows."
Rachel: "I haven't even had my first sip yet. How am I supposed to write both sides if I can't even throw a party?"
Puck: "Look, if 당신 want everyone to stay, 당신 have to let me break into your dad's liquor cabinet. No one's gonna get buzzed off two wine coolers! I'll replace it before they can get home."
Rachel: "Let's party!"
--
Puck: "Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!"
Rachel: "It tastes like pink! IT TASTES LIKE PINK!"
Sexy (EP15)
Rachel: "Are 당신 lost, Noah?"
--
Rachel: "I hereby call the celibacy club to order."
Puck: "Where's Ms. Pillsbury?"
Rachel: "She decided to take the hours she was spending here to use it to fix her sham of marriage. In the interim, I'll be taking over."
Night of Neglect (EP17)
Rachel: "There's no way that she's 노래 in our auditorium, okay! She's the enemy!"
Puck: "I say we give her a chance. I mean, 당신 owe her Rachel, 당신 sent her to a frickin' crack house!"
--
Puck: "We need Sunshine's twitter followers to come and pay for tickets, so there's no point having a benefit at all."
Rachel: "Fine!"
--
Rachel: "Don't worry, Puckerman is out right now scouring the pounds for the perfect Pomeranian!"
Born This Way (EP18)
Puck: "Every year, girls show up to my temple after their sixteenth birthday, looking suddenly slightly different- and 당신 know what? Even though it's easier to make out with them without getting constantly stabbed in the eye, they're not as hot!"
Rachel: "Well, this isn't about being hot- it's about conquering your destiny a-and finding something in yourself that 당신 want to change it! Plus they said it could improve my voice, so..."
--
Rachel: "You can't be in here, Noah!"
Puck: "It's cool, I checked through the peephole I drilled last 년 to make sure no one was going."
Rachel: "What can I help 당신 with today?"
Puck: "I just want to talk to you, one hot Jew to another."
Rachel: "Oh God, it's my nose okay? I am tired of the lectures."
Puck: "Hear me out. Why are 당신 getting Quinn's nose? If 당신 want to breathe better why don't 당신 have them give 당신 Com Aldi(?)'s nose? Your nose has been passed down from generation to generation as a birth right- it's a sign of survival among our people!"
Rachel: "This has nothing to do with our religion."
Puck: "I need one 시간 of your time, just one hour. Give me that and I'll never bug 당신 again."
--
Rachel: "Why did 당신 bring me here? Is there a sale at Claire's?"
Puck: "I brought 당신 here to knock some sense into you. 당신 wont listen to me, 당신 wont listen to Finn..."
Kurt: "But 당신 will listen to Barbra Streisand. Thanks Puck, I can take it from here."
Rumours (EP19)
Rachel: "I mean, look at us. Look at all the different combinations that we've had: Finchel, Puckleberry-"
--
Rachel: "Hit it."
New York (EP22)
Puck: "Okay, can we just talk about the Jewish 코끼리 in the room? Ask her out, dude!"
Finn: "Who, Rachel? But she's totally into Jesse right now..."
Puck: "You're in New York, the city of love-"
Sam: "I thought that was Paris..."
Puck: "Anything's possible here, 당신 need to ask her out tonight! Take her on one of those big awful dates 당신 see in those unwatchable romantic comedies that 당신 girls grow a vagina if 당신 watch all the way through."
Rachel: "-Broadway show first..."
Puck: "Shut up."
Grilled Cheesus (EP03)
Puck: "I mean I see God every time I make out with a new chick."
Rachel: "Okay, th-that doesn't make any sense. In fact it's stupid!"
Puck: "Are 당신 calling mister Billy Joel stupid?"
Duets (EP04)
Will: "Bad news guys; Puckerman's in juvie."
Tina: "Really was just a matter of time."
Quinn: "What did he do?"
Will: "He drove his moms Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM."
Rachel: "W-when is he getting out?"
Never Been Kissed (EP06)
Rachel: "SPIES!"
Puck: "Lighten up."
The Substitute (EP07)
Rachel: "Did someone say something about a substit-uuute!"
Puck: "Yes! It works!"
--
Holly: "Rachel, 당신 suck! Oh my god, you're a total drag! Has anyone ever told 당신 that?"
Puck: "I have."
Furt (EP08)
Finn: "Rachel and Puck were Puckleberry."
Special Education (EP09)
Puck: "Are 당신 okay?"
Rachel: "Why are 당신 talking to me? Are 당신 going to steal something from me?"
Puck: "Look, after six hours in that port-a-John, Ozzie himself would've turned to God. I prayed- I promised him that if he got me out of there I'd start being nicer to people. Then I realized there was no way I could do that so I changed it, to just Jews."
Rachel: "It's Finn..."
Puck. "Boyfriend troubles. I got that covered, considering I'm usually the cause of them, I'd say I'm an expert. Walk with me."
Rachel: "Have 당신 been working out? Your arms seem bigger..."
Puck: "It's the steroids."
--
Rachel: "Puck got Lauren Zizes to take your place,"
--
Santana: "Nobody tells 당신 anything because A: you're a blabber mouth and B: we all just pretend to like you."
Puck: "That's not true, I kinda like her."
--
Rachel: "Is something wrong? Did I bite 당신 again?"
Puck: "I did this to Finn once before. I can't do it again... I'm sorry, I have to go."
A Very 글리 크리스마스 (EP10)
Rachel: "I can't believe that that teacher let her students speak to us like that!"
Puck: "I can't believe she threw her shoe at us..."
The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle (EP11)
Will: "Rachel, Puck- haven't 당신 guys been working on something? Why don't 당신 give it a whirl."
Rachel: "Fine. As offended I am 의해 their presence here, I won't let anything get in the way of a performance."
--
Puck: "-Before I got your girlfriend pregnant and then made out with your other girlfriend..."
--
Finn: "So why'd 당신 sing that duet with Rachel?"
Rachel: *flashback* "I need 당신 to do this number with me to make Finn jealous." *end flashback*
Puck: "Nothing like that will ever happen again."
--
Will: "Rachel, have 당신 actually seen a tackle football game? When they tackle you, it hurts!"
Puck: "Yeah, and not in a good Mellencamp way."
Rachel: "We thought about that."
--
Puck: "Are 당신 ready for this?"
Rachel: "Let's kick some ass!"
Puck and Rachel: "YEAH!"
Silly 사랑 Songs (EP12)
Rachel: "High five!"
--
Rachel: "I-I don't care about Puck."
Blame It On the Alcohol (EP14)
Puck: "What's up my hot little Jewish American princess?"
Rachel: "What do 당신 want, Puckerman?"
Puck: "Well word on the 거리 is that your dads are out of town and you're all alone in your house."
Rachel: "They are on the Rosie O'Donnell cruise. But, who told 당신 that?"
Puck: "It's the kind of information a guy like me tends to know. So, uh, party this Saturday? I'll bring the 맥주 ball! It's a mini keg."
Rachel: "Forget it."
Puck: "Oh c'mon, just the 글리 kids! We're losing our minds all stressed about sectionals and stuff."
Rachel: "Regionals. Besides, 당신 just want a place to have sex and get drunk."
Puck: "Yeah, there's a word for that: a party!"
Rachel: "N-no! Noah, my dads, they, left me alone in my house because they trusted me to be responsible!"
Puck: "They left 당신 alone 'cause 당신 suck and are a total bore!"
--
Finn: "-wait where are 당신 going?"
Rachel: "To find Puckerman! Y'know, my journey from little princess to natural woman begins this Saturday night- at my house!"
--
Rachel: "Why's everybody leaving?"
Puck: "Because this party blows."
Rachel: "I haven't even had my first sip yet. How am I supposed to write both sides if I can't even throw a party?"
Puck: "Look, if 당신 want everyone to stay, 당신 have to let me break into your dad's liquor cabinet. No one's gonna get buzzed off two wine coolers! I'll replace it before they can get home."
Rachel: "Let's party!"
--
Puck: "Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!"
Rachel: "It tastes like pink! IT TASTES LIKE PINK!"
Sexy (EP15)
Rachel: "Are 당신 lost, Noah?"
--
Rachel: "I hereby call the celibacy club to order."
Puck: "Where's Ms. Pillsbury?"
Rachel: "She decided to take the hours she was spending here to use it to fix her sham of marriage. In the interim, I'll be taking over."
Night of Neglect (EP17)
Rachel: "There's no way that she's 노래 in our auditorium, okay! She's the enemy!"
Puck: "I say we give her a chance. I mean, 당신 owe her Rachel, 당신 sent her to a frickin' crack house!"
--
Puck: "We need Sunshine's twitter followers to come and pay for tickets, so there's no point having a benefit at all."
Rachel: "Fine!"
--
Rachel: "Don't worry, Puckerman is out right now scouring the pounds for the perfect Pomeranian!"
Born This Way (EP18)
Puck: "Every year, girls show up to my temple after their sixteenth birthday, looking suddenly slightly different- and 당신 know what? Even though it's easier to make out with them without getting constantly stabbed in the eye, they're not as hot!"
Rachel: "Well, this isn't about being hot- it's about conquering your destiny a-and finding something in yourself that 당신 want to change it! Plus they said it could improve my voice, so..."
--
Rachel: "You can't be in here, Noah!"
Puck: "It's cool, I checked through the peephole I drilled last 년 to make sure no one was going."
Rachel: "What can I help 당신 with today?"
Puck: "I just want to talk to you, one hot Jew to another."
Rachel: "Oh God, it's my nose okay? I am tired of the lectures."
Puck: "Hear me out. Why are 당신 getting Quinn's nose? If 당신 want to breathe better why don't 당신 have them give 당신 Com Aldi(?)'s nose? Your nose has been passed down from generation to generation as a birth right- it's a sign of survival among our people!"
Rachel: "This has nothing to do with our religion."
Puck: "I need one 시간 of your time, just one hour. Give me that and I'll never bug 당신 again."
--
Rachel: "Why did 당신 bring me here? Is there a sale at Claire's?"
Puck: "I brought 당신 here to knock some sense into you. 당신 wont listen to me, 당신 wont listen to Finn..."
Kurt: "But 당신 will listen to Barbra Streisand. Thanks Puck, I can take it from here."
Rumours (EP19)
Rachel: "I mean, look at us. Look at all the different combinations that we've had: Finchel, Puckleberry-"
--
Rachel: "Hit it."
New York (EP22)
Puck: "Okay, can we just talk about the Jewish 코끼리 in the room? Ask her out, dude!"
Finn: "Who, Rachel? But she's totally into Jesse right now..."
Puck: "You're in New York, the city of love-"
Sam: "I thought that was Paris..."
Puck: "Anything's possible here, 당신 need to ask her out tonight! Take her on one of those big awful dates 당신 see in those unwatchable romantic comedies that 당신 girls grow a vagina if 당신 watch all the way through."