ok guys so all this freaking hilarious one no show 언덕, 힐 crap is getting crazy! 당신 know what that means instant inspiration! so here's some crap i just threw together hope 당신 like
Chad sits in his trailer and flips open the Wilmington newspaper.
"One 나무, 트리 언덕, 힐 renewed for 7th season" he reads aloud laughing to himself. He picks up his phone and dials a number still laughing as the person 답변 "Hello" the person on the other line says.
"You are freaking kidding me right? A new season? 당신 are seriously an idiot aren't you?
"Hey Chad, no they've confirmed it. We will be having a new season.
"Well count me out. Dude 당신 already don't pay me enough. This is my show I'm the star.
"Yeah Chad 당신 are the star, but 당신 know I can't pay 당신 anymore"
"Yeah because your either to busy fantasizing about Hilarie 또는 giving all the money to Lee because he is the One 나무, 트리 언덕, 힐 version of yourself."
"Okay first of all Hil is hot and I'm a forty something 년 old man still living with my parents, and Mouth is the coolest. 저기요 and aren't 당신 the one who always called us the little engine that could?"
"That freaking engine is dead, and your main conductor aka me has jumped off that caboose!I'm not coming back so why don't 당신 do us all a favor and just like kill off my whiny character 또는 make him 옮기기 away 또는 some crap like that"
"Chad..."
"Hanging up now"
"But.."
"Bu bye"
ring ring
"Oh God not again" Mark says and picks up his phone
"Hey Mark" Hil says over the line enthusiastically.
"Hey Hil, so have 당신 heard they've renewed us for a new season?"
"Oh that's great"
"Really? So you'll do it?"
"Oh hell know but 당신 have fun with that?"
"But Hil, this is your show now. Chad's gone so it's your time to shine. 당신 can be the main star"
"Dude I already am, speaking of could 당신 take those pics of me off your 벽 they totally creep me out"
"Oh yeah sorry" Mark says sheepishly.
"Yeah I mean without Chad I have nobody to kiss, I mean unless 당신 make it a breyton lesbian 사랑 fest! That would totally appeal to the gay audience!"
"Yeah I don't know.."
"Yeah well I'm out. See 당신 later 당신 big lug!
"Bye Hilarie"
"Oh and 당신 should totally go to my blog Southern 고딕 productions"
"Sure bye Hilarie"
"If 당신 need a job I here Gossip Girl is hiring"
"See 당신 later"
ring ring
"Are 당신 freaking kidding me" Mark whispers under his breathe before answering the phone.
"Hello"
"Hey Mark it's Soph"
"Oh 저기요 Soph! I can always count on 당신 to come through"
"About that Mark...I'm out"
"Soph"
"I'm sorry but I can't 당신 know."
"But Soph, Chad and Hilarie are gone, this is your show now!"
"No offense Mark, but this is kind of my show. I mean everybody loves Brooke, but I can't."
"Soph"
"Seriously Mark. It's like I'm in relationship twilight zone. I have to work with my ex-husband, my ex- boyfriend, and my sort of kind of current boyfriend. I mean that's like way screwed up"
"Well we could totally write that into the show. I mean I usually just put whatever crap happens in your life on the show anyway."
"Trust me I know. I would have offered Breyton smut, but since Hil is out, I'm out too. Bye Mark."
"Wait dude I'll totally put in the lesbian..."
"Have a lovely 일 Mark" Sophia says before hanging up.
"Just great, three out, two to go"
ring ring
"When does that do not call button kick in" he askes himself before picking up the phone."
"I'm out"
"Good morning to 당신 too Joy"
"Sorry, good morning, but I'm out"
"Why?"
"Because we've been on this show for 6 years, and I want to go 집 and get pregnant, like really good and pregnant"
"Oh come on, it's your show now Joy. 당신 can get pregnant anytime, but right now this is your chance. Chad, Hil, and Soph are out it's your show now"
"Which I've have to say would be about damn time. You've been giving me all the crappy storylines. Double 날짜 with Mia and Chase? I mean really 당신 couldn't give 네일리 one hot night out, just the two of them?
"Ok fine I'll turn the show into a 네일리 porno is that what 당신 want? Because I'll do it, all the rain scenes 당신 could want"
"Oh yeah and speaking of no rain scenes? Really Mark your a dumbbutt"
"So I've been told"
"I would say that Lucas and I should do like a whole affair thing but since Chad's out, I'm out too"
"Are 당신 kidding me"
"Nope, now bye" Joy said cheerfully as she hung up the phone.
"Yeah bye" he said mockingly. "Man I'm freaking Mark Schwann. The creator of One 나무, 트리 Hill, loved 의해 all, well except for the occasional 100 death threats, but anyway"
Mark is taken out of his delusions 의해 a ringing phone.
ring ring
"What?" he yells loudly.
"Okay I'm guessing everyone else has called, so I'll make this short and sweet. I'm out, there is not enough scenes of me shirtless, I haven't got to 키스 Sophia yet which really pisses me off, and quiet frankly I just don't like you."
"Anything else"
"Oh yeah I think that your a freak and 당신 are super stalkerish when it comes to HB"
"Ok 당신 caught me 키싱 her pic one time"
"French 키싱 it, don't remind me. Anyway why don't 당신 try Jackson. I'm sure he'd 사랑 a Jamie spin off"
"This could have been your show James"
"Dude it already was. Did 당신 not see all the girls screaming my name?"
"Ok bye"
"Cya NBA here I come" James says before hanging up the phone.
"Pipe dreams" Mark says rolling his eyes.
"Well Jackson it is then" Mark says dialing his number.
ring ring
"Hello"
"Jackon my man"
"Mark my man, what's happening?"
"You are buddy. I'm talking a whole new show. A Jamie spinoff"
"Oh Mark that sounds cool, but 디즈니 already called."
"Disney?"
"Yep. They want to make a movie about me. Jackson and Chester goes Hollywood. We're going to be stars! Isn't that right Chester" Jamie says, giggling at his rabbit.
"J bud that's great! But 당신 could also be a 별, 스타 on your own show. Doesn't that sound great?"
"No offense Mark, but I did own the show. I'm the cutest, everyone loves Jimmy Jam."
"Jackons"
"Oh gotta go Mark. Mom has icecream. Mmm yum! Coming mom"
"Shit"
"Ah 당신 said a bad word. That's $20 to the Jackson college fund. 당신 better pay up mister. Bye." Jackson said before hanging up.
"Great"
ring ring
"I'm out Dawg"
Antwon"
"Sorry this cougar is done"
"Barbara"
"This cockroach has been squashed"
"Paul"
"Sorry"
"Lisa"
"Julian wanted all the girls, there are no girls. Do 당신 see my dilemma?"
"Austin"
"Your mini 당신 is out. And I'm sick of 당신 making me into a mousy whimp. I could totally kick your ass."
"Lee
This continued for the 다음 few hours
*The 다음 day*
"Looks like your the only one left. I guess your the new Luke"
"I'll do my best" he says before taking his spot on the rivercourt and shooting the ball in the hoop."
"God I guess we are going to have to name the show ONE because that's all we've got left" Mark said to Greg Prange as they took their seats.
"Oh yeah it's Fergie's time to shine" 퍼기 says, winking at the camera.
THE END
Chad sits in his trailer and flips open the Wilmington newspaper.
"One 나무, 트리 언덕, 힐 renewed for 7th season" he reads aloud laughing to himself. He picks up his phone and dials a number still laughing as the person 답변 "Hello" the person on the other line says.
"You are freaking kidding me right? A new season? 당신 are seriously an idiot aren't you?
"Hey Chad, no they've confirmed it. We will be having a new season.
"Well count me out. Dude 당신 already don't pay me enough. This is my show I'm the star.
"Yeah Chad 당신 are the star, but 당신 know I can't pay 당신 anymore"
"Yeah because your either to busy fantasizing about Hilarie 또는 giving all the money to Lee because he is the One 나무, 트리 언덕, 힐 version of yourself."
"Okay first of all Hil is hot and I'm a forty something 년 old man still living with my parents, and Mouth is the coolest. 저기요 and aren't 당신 the one who always called us the little engine that could?"
"That freaking engine is dead, and your main conductor aka me has jumped off that caboose!I'm not coming back so why don't 당신 do us all a favor and just like kill off my whiny character 또는 make him 옮기기 away 또는 some crap like that"
"Chad..."
"Hanging up now"
"But.."
"Bu bye"
ring ring
"Oh God not again" Mark says and picks up his phone
"Hey Mark" Hil says over the line enthusiastically.
"Hey Hil, so have 당신 heard they've renewed us for a new season?"
"Oh that's great"
"Really? So you'll do it?"
"Oh hell know but 당신 have fun with that?"
"But Hil, this is your show now. Chad's gone so it's your time to shine. 당신 can be the main star"
"Dude I already am, speaking of could 당신 take those pics of me off your 벽 they totally creep me out"
"Oh yeah sorry" Mark says sheepishly.
"Yeah I mean without Chad I have nobody to kiss, I mean unless 당신 make it a breyton lesbian 사랑 fest! That would totally appeal to the gay audience!"
"Yeah I don't know.."
"Yeah well I'm out. See 당신 later 당신 big lug!
"Bye Hilarie"
"Oh and 당신 should totally go to my blog Southern 고딕 productions"
"Sure bye Hilarie"
"If 당신 need a job I here Gossip Girl is hiring"
"See 당신 later"
ring ring
"Are 당신 freaking kidding me" Mark whispers under his breathe before answering the phone.
"Hello"
"Hey Mark it's Soph"
"Oh 저기요 Soph! I can always count on 당신 to come through"
"About that Mark...I'm out"
"Soph"
"I'm sorry but I can't 당신 know."
"But Soph, Chad and Hilarie are gone, this is your show now!"
"No offense Mark, but this is kind of my show. I mean everybody loves Brooke, but I can't."
"Soph"
"Seriously Mark. It's like I'm in relationship twilight zone. I have to work with my ex-husband, my ex- boyfriend, and my sort of kind of current boyfriend. I mean that's like way screwed up"
"Well we could totally write that into the show. I mean I usually just put whatever crap happens in your life on the show anyway."
"Trust me I know. I would have offered Breyton smut, but since Hil is out, I'm out too. Bye Mark."
"Wait dude I'll totally put in the lesbian..."
"Have a lovely 일 Mark" Sophia says before hanging up.
"Just great, three out, two to go"
ring ring
"When does that do not call button kick in" he askes himself before picking up the phone."
"I'm out"
"Good morning to 당신 too Joy"
"Sorry, good morning, but I'm out"
"Why?"
"Because we've been on this show for 6 years, and I want to go 집 and get pregnant, like really good and pregnant"
"Oh come on, it's your show now Joy. 당신 can get pregnant anytime, but right now this is your chance. Chad, Hil, and Soph are out it's your show now"
"Which I've have to say would be about damn time. You've been giving me all the crappy storylines. Double 날짜 with Mia and Chase? I mean really 당신 couldn't give 네일리 one hot night out, just the two of them?
"Ok fine I'll turn the show into a 네일리 porno is that what 당신 want? Because I'll do it, all the rain scenes 당신 could want"
"Oh yeah and speaking of no rain scenes? Really Mark your a dumbbutt"
"So I've been told"
"I would say that Lucas and I should do like a whole affair thing but since Chad's out, I'm out too"
"Are 당신 kidding me"
"Nope, now bye" Joy said cheerfully as she hung up the phone.
"Yeah bye" he said mockingly. "Man I'm freaking Mark Schwann. The creator of One 나무, 트리 Hill, loved 의해 all, well except for the occasional 100 death threats, but anyway"
Mark is taken out of his delusions 의해 a ringing phone.
ring ring
"What?" he yells loudly.
"Okay I'm guessing everyone else has called, so I'll make this short and sweet. I'm out, there is not enough scenes of me shirtless, I haven't got to 키스 Sophia yet which really pisses me off, and quiet frankly I just don't like you."
"Anything else"
"Oh yeah I think that your a freak and 당신 are super stalkerish when it comes to HB"
"Ok 당신 caught me 키싱 her pic one time"
"French 키싱 it, don't remind me. Anyway why don't 당신 try Jackson. I'm sure he'd 사랑 a Jamie spin off"
"This could have been your show James"
"Dude it already was. Did 당신 not see all the girls screaming my name?"
"Ok bye"
"Cya NBA here I come" James says before hanging up the phone.
"Pipe dreams" Mark says rolling his eyes.
"Well Jackson it is then" Mark says dialing his number.
ring ring
"Hello"
"Jackon my man"
"Mark my man, what's happening?"
"You are buddy. I'm talking a whole new show. A Jamie spinoff"
"Oh Mark that sounds cool, but 디즈니 already called."
"Disney?"
"Yep. They want to make a movie about me. Jackson and Chester goes Hollywood. We're going to be stars! Isn't that right Chester" Jamie says, giggling at his rabbit.
"J bud that's great! But 당신 could also be a 별, 스타 on your own show. Doesn't that sound great?"
"No offense Mark, but I did own the show. I'm the cutest, everyone loves Jimmy Jam."
"Jackons"
"Oh gotta go Mark. Mom has icecream. Mmm yum! Coming mom"
"Shit"
"Ah 당신 said a bad word. That's $20 to the Jackson college fund. 당신 better pay up mister. Bye." Jackson said before hanging up.
"Great"
ring ring
"I'm out Dawg"
Antwon"
"Sorry this cougar is done"
"Barbara"
"This cockroach has been squashed"
"Paul"
"Sorry"
"Lisa"
"Julian wanted all the girls, there are no girls. Do 당신 see my dilemma?"
"Austin"
"Your mini 당신 is out. And I'm sick of 당신 making me into a mousy whimp. I could totally kick your ass."
"Lee
This continued for the 다음 few hours
*The 다음 day*
"Looks like your the only one left. I guess your the new Luke"
"I'll do my best" he says before taking his spot on the rivercourt and shooting the ball in the hoop."
"God I guess we are going to have to name the show ONE because that's all we've got left" Mark said to Greg Prange as they took their seats.
"Oh yeah it's Fergie's time to shine" 퍼기 says, winking at the camera.
THE END
Fergilicious! its hot hot
