The house was empty and quiet. It was dark with the exception of the half risen moon, gleaming through my windows. I was just laying down on the 침상, 소파 staring. I couldn't pick up the phone. No matter how hard I tried. I don't know what I would say. What he would say. What I would do.
Would I enjoy myself? Burst into a flood of tears? Yell at him for no apparent reason?
I was afraid to know. But I picked it up anyways. It rang twice, before someone picked up.. Surprisingly at eleven at night. Meaning...
He picked up the phone.
"How many times 당신 had to pick up and put down the phone before actually dialing up to call?"
"I'll round down to twenty."
"It's good to hear from you, so late at night."
"I'm sorry about that--"
"Don't--I've been awake. I need someone keeping me company."
"Mm."
"It's dark over here."
"It's darker 의해 me."
"Since when."
"Always has been."
"Not that I can recall."
"Well, I shouldn't argue with 당신 then. 당신 tend to notice everything so."
"Ha."
"Where are you?"
"The common area. No one else is awake. And 당신 are at home...on the couch."
"With a blanket, yes."
"No, you're not that predictable."
"Good."
"Why are 당신 up so late?"
"Why are you?"
"I asked 당신 first."
"I've been trying to call remember? I don't remember hearing you're excuse."
"I--still, can't sleep. It's gotten worse, now that I'm gone."
"It's gotten worse for 당신 또는 are 당신 assuming its gotten worse for me?"
"For me. But what about you?"
"It's--different."
"Is that a good thing." He made it 더 많이 of a statement than a question.
"It doesn't seem to be."
"I'm sorry."
"That I'm not happy 또는 that I'm miserable?"
House paused for a second.
"Didn't know 당신 were miserable. I thought me being gone should've lightened the load on you, but apparently not."
"If 당신 knew me any better 당신 would know that's a lie."
"I know it's a lie. I was protecting 당신 from saying anything, but apparently 당신 do have something to say."
"Hm."
"Do you?"
"I don't know."
"I'm not going to force it out of you. Just say it so it can be done with."
"It's irrelevant."
"Does it matter?"
"It's irrelevant."
"It doesn't have to be to matter."
"It's just--forget it. I'll talk to 당신 tomorrow."
She hung up the phone fairly quickly and threw it to the opposite side of the couch. She waited a 분 또는 so before reaching over again, picking up the phone and dialing it again.
After one ring, he picked up.
"It's hard to stop isn't it?"
"What is." She asked blankly.
"For us to stop talking."
"It's fairly easy."
"Yeah, if 당신 또는 me walk out. Not the case in this particular situation."
"I'm sorry."
"You're upset. 당신 have mixed emotions. Naturally, that would be something 당신 would do. Don't apologize for your rational actions. 당신 only apologize for your irrational ones."
"Hmph."
"I've been in bad shape too."
"As in?"
"I've--" he swallowed. Almost as if swallowing an 사과, 애플 whole. This is something he can't admit that easily.
"--I've missed 당신 too."
"Who said I missed you?" She started defending, but calmly.
"Who said 당신 didn't?"
She remained silent. Only for several seconds.
"It's not that easy."
"I can imagine," he retorted sarcastically.
"Losing someone you're close to, isn't something 당신 can adjust to quickly--"
"You haven't 로스트 me. 당신 hear my voice. 당신 hear my breathing. 당신 haven't 로스트 anything."
"Yeah."
"And me out of all people, would know most about losing people."
"Just--don't, think about it. I didn't mean to--"
"Again. Not to be redundant, but don't apologize for your rational actions. The 'losing someone you're close to' retort is your natural defense when these situations occur."
"You're 연기 like I can't do anything wrong."
"I'm correcting 당신 for blaming yourself. Just in your tone of voice, I know 당신 feel guilty right now. Which I don't know why."
"How could I not? Vicodin was and has always been my fault. The reason why 당신 took it, my choice, the reason why 당신 got addicted, my decision, the reason why you're alone, my mistake."
"The vicodin helped me. Vicodin was to compensate for my leg. I needed that then. 당신 did your job as a doctor, if 당신 were in Stacy's position 당신 wouldn't have done what 당신 did. 당신 didn't get me addicted either. I stretched my pain into something it really wasn't, causing me to overdose, thousands of times. And 당신 didn't decide to leave me that night, 당신 didn't even know what was wrong. So technically, 당신 committed no mistake, for 당신 did nothing wrong."
His voice was slightly angry. She sighed on the other line before speaking again.
"Even so."
"It's already one."
"We've been talking for a while."
"Care to pull an all nighter?"
"Don't have anything else to do. Sleeping is certainly out of the question."
They talked for quite a while. They talked about everything. He told her about all the patients, the doctors, what they did every 일 and every night. She told him what was currently happening at the hospital and how 로스트 the team is without him. 의해 quarter to six, their voices softened.
"You still awake over there?"
"Barely. Sun's about to come up."
"You gonna go to work?"
"I'd rather not. Hurts too much--"
She paused. She didn't bother to finish her sentence.
"You going to finish that 또는 is that ending in I miss you?"
She refused to speak. For some reason, he changed his tone of voice. It turned 더 많이 sincere, caring and gentle.
"It's only been a few days. If we grieve too much over this we'll end up breaking down in a month. Me being gone for a while could be good--for hospitals sake. 당신 won't have any lawsuits for a while."
Cuddy smirked. It was weak, but she was still entertained.
"It'll do us some good. We both--need to uh--sort out the uncertainties--of some--things."
"Naturally."
"So."
"I've missed you."
"I thought I was the only one."
A smile formed on both their faces. Cuddy wrapped herself in the blanket and pulled it closer to her. House positioned himself on the 침상, 소파 so he could face the windows. They both, kept their phones close, listening to the others voice.
"You watching the sunrise?" She asked sleepily.
"It's beautiful."
"I know."
Her voice was fading. He listened intently to see if she was asleep. She was breathing into the phone gently. She had finally fallen asleep.
He took a glance at his watch and there it was. Six o'clock. Within an hour, she would need to be at work, meaning, they pulled an all nighter.
He glanced out the window and the sun was rising. The sky exploded in color, which was probably the most he's seen in a while. He listened closely again and her breathing had become even louder than before. Then he whispered into the phone.
"Good morning, Cuddy."
And he hung up the phone and began to walk back into his room as Cuddy finally got her good nights rest.