June 26, 2011
I think would almost rather have a “bigger” vulnerability. This week’s theme was the toughest yet. I am not an insecure person in any shape 또는 form. I am comfortable in my own skin, so finding that makes me vulnerable was incredibly tough. But I think “numb” was the correct word for me. If I had to pick one problem I do have it would be that my feelings constantly change, and sometimes I don’t really feel at all. I thought it was appropriate, but it certainly hid in the background compared to some of the others!!!
The 음악 shoot was different because it felt real. It wasn't a case of acting. It was finding that emotion, that thing inside 당신 that makes 당신 vulnerable, and then pulling from that for the video. It was very tough for me. The hardest thing for me this week was finding that vulnerable point myself and drawing emotion from it. I am not a crier. Not out of choice, but I just don’t cry…
It was awkward walking around in public with a sign saying “numb” on it. I think would almost rather have a “bigger” vulnerability. A sign saying “gay” 또는 “anorexic” hit the point straight away. With “numb,” it is open to discussion and, therefore, people had their own opinions on it and how I should be acting. It was difficult. And putting yourself out there, I mean really putting yourself out there, is a uncomfortable feeling.
I was not surprised I was in the bottom three at all. I honestly believe that if I had one of the 더 많이 dramatic vulnerabilities it may not have been the case. It was not easy to draw emotion from the word “numb,” and that’s really what the whole week was about! Cameron and I were actually talking about it quite a lot, because we felt we were in the same 보트 (not having a dramatic sign). And it actually ended up that both of us were right. Brothers battling it out in the bottom!
I think the song "Are 당신 Lonesome Tonight" was given to me because it is about feeling. It was the perfect chance for Ryan Murphy to see if I could pull it off. If 당신 can't find a real emotional point in this song, then it's hopeless. I know 100 percent it they gave me one last chance to prove that I can draw from emotions and vulnerabilities…
I got emotional 노래 the song for a number of reasons. I met my childhood sweetheart when I was 11 years old. We 스플릿, 분할 in 2009 and this song just brought everything back to me. On 상단, 맨 위로 of that, the pressure was getting to me. I had a shocking start to this competition and being in the bottom three twice in three weeks is hard. Everything got to me at that point. And honestly, I didn't see a way out for me at that stage. I thought the show had it in for me, I really did. I felt a bit of a scapegoat at the time. And I don't cry; I haven't cried in years. The one time I do though, it's for the biggest performance of my life!
I learned SO much this week. I now realize what it takes to give a life-saving performance!!! I mean, I don't know how I pulled that off, I just don't. I know A LOT of people were probably watching thinking "Hmmm… Damian could be in trouble here" …They weren’t alone!!!
I thought it was strange that Emily was eliminated. I had pointed her out from the beginning to do well. It's a bit of a shock though. I didn't think she'd be packing her bags in Week 3 to be honest. But for me, the Bottom 3 turned out in my favor… I live to fight another day! And so does my bromance with Cameron! I find it a little funny both of us battled our way through!
