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Elena pushes her hair behind her ears and adjusts the hem of her 치마 for the third time that night. Her nervousness is obvious 의해 the way she sits in Arthur’s presence. In front of her, Arthur sits quietly, clutching the cane in his hand as if it was his life saver. They have been in the Godwyn’s household for almost three hours and since he arrived here, he kept his conversation to a minimum. A hello, a nod when necessary, a smile if needed and another hello is all he’s been saying around. He knows why he is here. His father had been clear cut about his intentions though he didn’t say it loud and clear. He didn’t have to. Knowing Uther, there is always a reason why he does certain things. Like today for example. Arthur is to meet with Elena and resume his acquaintance with her. And when Elena is comfortable with Arthur and his condition, they will prepare to bind Arthur and Elena together in the name of marriage. Uther didn’t speak to Arthur about his plans but knowing his father, Arthur suspected this from the beginning when Uther decided to pay his friend a surprise visit.
‘Surprise my foot!’ Arthur curses himself as he recalls back the conversation he heard between his father and Godwyn. They didn’t sound surprised at all. In fact, Godwyn seems to be expecting Uther. ‘Then why the lie father?’ Arthur thinks again as he feels betrayed 의해 his father. Though Uther told Arthur that Elena is here to meet him, he said his friend isn’t expecting him today but the moment they arrived, Godwyn had been behaving as if they are expected. And that escalated Arthur’s suspicion to another level. What is this new kind of game his father is playing? He thought he could trust his father but seems this is not the case. He is still the same old Uther and it will never change. Ever!
“Arthur?”
“Huh?” he turns to where he hears someone calling him.
“It’s me, Elena.”
“Oh…” he sounds disappointed, but she doesn’t suspect anything.
“Are 당신 all right?” she asks.
“Yeah… why?” he wonders why she would ask anything like that.
“You look uptight… like angry 또는 something.”
“No, I’m fine, just a little tired, that’s all.”
“Oh,” she laughs to herself. “Silly me,” she replies.
“How are 당신 Elena?” Arthur asks, smiling at her. He didn’t want to strike up a conversation with her but since she has started one, he knows he has to comply as well 또는 she’ll deem him to be rude.
“I’m fine, thank 당신 for asking,” she replies with a smile. She’s happy Arthur is concerned about her. Perhaps she has been wrong about him after all. She had been concerned if Arthur will like her after all these years 또는 if he’d still care. Looks like he still does. Wait till Camille hears about this.
“Good,” Arthur replies and the quietness resumes back, much to Elena’s surprise. Arthur simply didn’t know what to say to her. Before they had plenty to share and laugh about, but after the accident and after meeting Guinevere, he didn’t even have the desire to see her 또는 strike up any conversation. He prefers to be left alone, and at the moment, peace and quiet is all he craves. But knowing Elena, he knows there is no way she’ll keep quiet. She will start blabbering about why he ignored her all these years and what happened and so on. Arthur hates answering her questions. If only he can make her keep quiet, if only. But he can only wish. Perhaps thinking about Guinevere can make him deaf to Elena’s words. ‘Guinevere’ he thinks of her as the name prints in his mind once again, like it has been doing all 일 long today. He had been thinking of Guinevere all the time he had been here, which isn’t that unusual for him. He likes it. With the name swirling in his head, he forgets everything and everyone else. No one else matters. It’s like the name puts him in a trance. He becomes 마법에 걸린 사랑 의해 the mere mention of her name. A smile escapes the corner of his lips.
“Arthur?”
Arthur flinches angrily for being interrupted but he keeps his anger in check. He doesn’t want Elena to find out he’s gutted with her. “Yeah?” he controls his voice.
“Something amusing?”
“Sorry?” what on earth is she saying, he thinks.
“You’re smiling to yourself, something funny?”
‘What the… That’s my business, woman! What’s your problem? If I want to smile 또는 cry in the midst of a crowd then that’s my bloody wish. Why? Do I have to inform everything I do to you? Don’t I have my own freedom to do it?’ Arthur thinks angrily but he doesn’t answer her, he didn’t want to. He feigns another smile and hates himself for doing it. He hates faking his actions, be it good 또는 bad. He hates it. He’d rather live with the aftermath of his behaviour than fake his way out. He keeps quiet.
But Elena won’t leave the matter to rest without finding out first. She has to know why Arthur smiled. Was it about her? Did he recalled some of their funny moments together 또는 was he thinking about something else? “Arthur?”
‘What now?’ Arthur feels like slapping Elena. He is irked and extremely irritated 의해 her agitatious interruptions. “Yes?” he asks her, his voice rising a bit. But Elena ignores it. Either she’s too dumb to ignore it 또는 she’s doing it on a purpose.
“Is something wrong?” she asks him.
“No, why?” Arthur is getting irritated.
“You are unusually quiet.”
“Aren’t I always?” Arthur fakes a laugh. ‘What kind of a 질문 is that?’ he thinks to himself.
“No. 당신 weren’t before, but I have to admit, you’ve been very quiet recently, especially today. 당신 don’t call, don’t reply any of my messages 또는 letters… 당신 don’t pay me any visits and now that I’ve come back, 당신 don’t heed me at all. 당신 have changed a lot, Arthur. And today, 당신 seem to be in your own world, all on your own. I feel as I’ve interrupted into your privacy when all I want is to spend some quality time with you.”
“Elena…”
“No, Arthur. I’m not angry, please don’t misunderstand me,” Elena corrects herself quickly. She gets up and walks up towards Arthur and sits down beside him. “I miss you, that’s all,” she reaches over and clasps his hand but he pulls away softly. Elena’s face changes when he does that. But she keeps her disappointment in check. She wants to know why Arthur is behaving like this. Only a short while 이전 she had her hopes high thinking he might be caring about her. Now her hopes are beginning to fade as quickly as they appeared.
“I am not angry with 당신 but a lot has happened since…” Arthur starts as he begins to feel guilty.
“I understand, Arthur. It must have been devastating for you, is it not? No one expected 당신 to suffer from the accident but unfortunately, 당신 did. Suffering like this… all alone must have left 당신 scared. I can’t imagine how 당신 went through this on your own. I pity you, Arthur,” Elena cuts him off and takes Arthur 의해 surprise.
‘Pity?’ Arthur is shocked. ‘Pity, she says?’ he thinks again. Guinevere never pitied him. She told him to face the world bravely, never stoop low 또는 expect anyone’s sympathy and above all she told him to accept who he is. But Elena pities him?
“Arthur?” Elena touches his hand again and once again he removes his hand from hers, this time quickly.
“What is there to pity?” he asks, annoyed.
“I still remember 당신 being carefree, Arthur, enjoying your life and never once being bothered about the world, but now, it must be so hard for you, isn’t it? Losing your sight and turning vulnerable, it must have hurt 당신 bad. I still remember 당신 telling me how 당신 liked darkness because it was your friend… is it still your friend, Arthur? 또는 are 당신 afraid of it now?”
Arthur doesn’t know how to answer her. Is she trying to make him feel better 또는 criticizing his condition? Arthur doesn’t know because he can’t see and from the way she’s talking to him, he feels as if she is mocking him 또는 at least that’s how it sounds to him. But she is his friend, and 프렌즈 don’t talk like this to another.
“When I first heard about your accident, I was utterly devastated, Arthur. My first thought was how will 당신 cope without your eyesight? How will 당신 carry on living? Eyesight is the most important sense in our life, and to lose that is… unthinkable. If I 로스트 my sight I would do all I could to get it restored… have 당신 thought about that operation, Arthur?”
“No.” Arthur is getting very pissed. He’s guessed where the conversation seems to be heading.
“Oh… daddy knows a doctor. A good friend of his, actually, and he is very good indeed. Maybe you’d like to get your…”
“Are 당신 asking me to get my eyes operated on, Elena?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“What is wrong with how I am now?”
“Don’t 당신 realise you’ve 로스트 something, Arthur? How can 당신 still insist upon living like this? We all need to see Arthur, we need our eyesight. I know I couldn’t live like this.”
Arthur wants to see right now. He really wishes he could see, not to accept Elena’s statement but to slap her real hard. How can she say this to him? How can she talk to him like this? What does she know?
“You have to get your eyesight back, Arthur. Your life isn’t complete without it and I feel really odd talking to 당신 like this. I mean, don’t get me wrong but, knowing 당신 all your life, suddenly I feel as if I’m having conversation with a 벽 because 당신 can’t see me and your responsive manner isn’t quite the way its supposed to be…”
“ELENA!!!” Arthur shouts and gets up, taking Elena 의해 surprise. He is furious and he breathes heavily because he can’t see where she is and he is extremely gutted with her. Elena’s startled 의해 his reaction and she waits for him to continue.
Arthur is startled as well. He didn’t realise he’d react like this, especially towards Elena but he couldn’t carry on listening to her. It is hurting and he wants her to stop. But she wouldn’t and he has no other choice but to shout at her. But his 심장 aches listening to her statement.
“Ar… Arthur?” Elena calls softly. Arthur sighs heavily.
“I’m sorry, Elena,” Arthur says and closes his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t have shouted at her but he couldn’t tolerate her any longer. If he didn’t shout, she would have said far worse things and he didn’t know if he could stomach any more.
“What happened to you?”
“I’m sorry… I…” he sits down and this time Elena doesn’t comfort him. To be honest, she is startled and she is trembling after being shouted at. No one has done this before, not like this and not directly at her. This is the first time and she is terrified. Arthur has never raised his voice at her and she has never seen him angry. She had wondered how would he look like if he was angry, well… seems like she has her answer now.
“Why did 당신 shout at me Arthur?”
“I’m sorry…”
“Why?” she keep pushing him.
“Drop it, Elena.”
“Why?” she didn’t care.
“What is wrong with you, Elena? Can’t 당신 understand when I say no? Why do 당신 have to be such a stubborn ars…” Arthur stops his words and curses his choice of word. He hopes she didn’t capture the last word.
“Why are 당신 angry with me?” she starts all over again. Her voice croaks slightly.
Arthur sighs. She just doesn’t get it, does she? “I am not angry with you, Elena… I’m angry with myself.”
“No, 당신 are angry with me Arthur. I told 당신 that you’ve changed, didn’t I? Isn’t this proof enough? You’ve turned over a new leaf Arthur; 당신 are not the same person 당신 were. 당신 get angry quickly, 당신 snap and bicker all the time… 당신 don’t even smile. What is wrong with you?”
“Elena, 당신 have no idea what I went through, and…”
“I am just trying to help you, Arthur. Is that wrong?”
“I know and I understand…” he is getting tired trying explaining to everyone. Why don’t they just understand?
“No, 당신 don’t Arthur. 당신 don’t know anything. 당신 don’t know how I feel about 당신 또는 how I’m crazy for you! 당신 have no idea of those feelings and… passions I feel for 당신 since I’ve met you. I have never been able to understand why I am feeling like this back when we were still children but I do now. I understand and I like it. But I doubt 당신 do, Arthur. I really don’t think 당신 share the same emotions and passions that I do. 당신 hardly know anything about me and 당신 don’t want to find out, either. But I do, I know almost everything about you. I know what your favourite colour is, 음식 is, clothing is… what your likes and dislikes are, how 당신 like room to be arranged, what your opinion in politics are… everything. I’ve made a point to find out everything about 당신 Arthur, why? Why do 당신 think I do it… because I like you? And it’s not on the surface, not as friends… but 더 많이 than that. Do 당신 know what I’m saying?”
“Elena…” Arthur doesn’t know what to say. This is what he feared and it happened. He is trying to avoid this conversation and it has to happen today.
“I 사랑 you, Arthur Pendragon! I want to marry you, Arthur!”
“Elena, enough!” Arthur has to stop her before she gets too far. Elena looks at him in surprise. She doesn’t understand.
“Don’t 당신 like me, Arthur?”
“Elena please… enough, just stop it,” he urges but she still in surprise. Why does she have to stop now? She likes him and doesn’t he like her? Isn’t this why he and his father are here, in her home. To discuss their future and their marriage? But why does she have a bad feeling that her dreams are about to be quashed? It seems only his father is keen on this marriage and not Arthur. Elena feels her fingers trembling. Her 심장 is beating nervously and she is afraid of what Arthur might say next. She doesn’t want to hear anything. She fears she doesn’t have the strength to confront what Arthur might tell her. But she will have to face the reality even if it means her getting hurt. She really wanted to see Arthur to confide her feelings and felt he will reciprocate her feelings. She always thought he loved her, but from what she heard so far, she doubts he does. But she wants to find out the truth from him today, 의해 all means. She doesn’t care about anything; she wants to know what he thinks of her. She has to dig the truth from him, even if it hurts him 또는 her, she’ll do it.
“No, I will not stop till I know how 당신 feel about me. I waited five years to ask 당신 this 질문 and I will not stop till I get an answer. I want 당신 tell me the truth, Arthur!”
“What do 당신 expect me to tell you?” Arthur sighs and rakes through his hair.
“The truth.”
“Can 당신 handle the truth?” he asks. He really wishes this conversation isn’t taking place but Elena is being extremely agitatious and Arthur doesn’t like hurting her. She’s still his friend even if he doesn’t harbour any other feeling apart from friendship for her. But she is insisting on the truth and what is she supposed to do? He will have to tell her one 일 and let that 일 be today. The sooner he tells her, the better. She will be hurt a while but she’ll recover, she’s a strong girl and she’ll find her true 사랑 one 일 with someone else. Someone who’ll make her happy. But that someone is not him. But how will he put in without hurting her?
“Yes,” she says determinedly.
“Fine, Elena, 당신 want the truth, I’ll give 당신 the truth, yeah.” Arthur starts and licks his lips. He wants to choose his words rather carefully. He wishes not to hurt her and his words will have to be constructive yet soft. “I like you, but not as what 당신 deem 또는 dream like it to be. I like 당신 only as my friend and I can never bring myself to like 당신 further… because whatever feelings I am supposed to have for 당신 should come from here,” Arthur points to his heart. “And I don’t have it; it’s never been there,” he adds, poking his heart. “I am sorry for being blunt, but this is how I feel about you. 당신 are a lovely girl, Elena, but 당신 and I… we don’t fit together. We can never fit together,” he says.
This is what she feared hearing. And the reality hits her like a rock. She cannot believe what she hears. ‘Is this true?’ she thinks to herself. “Wh… what… are 당신 saying, Arthur?” her lip quivers and her words stick to her tongue, unable to roll out. Tears glistens in her eyes. She inhales deeply to keep herself in check. ‘No… this is not true,’ she thinks again.
“You and I can be friends, not lovers, and certainly not husband and wife,” Arthur hates being harsh but he has no choice. Elena’s a great girl, good and friendly but she is also stubborn. She has to have everything she lays her eyes upon and is she doesn’t get her way; she’ll throw herself into fits. Being pampered since she was a child, Elena will not understand 또는 try to understand anything that she isn’t in concerned with. That’s how she gets everything done her way. Now she claims not to understand what Arthur says but in truth, Arthur suspects she does. But she pretends not to. And that is why Arthur has to be a little harsh with his words.
“Arthur, I thought… I thought we’ve liked each other since we were children, did we not? What… what are 당신 saying?” she asks, her voice gets croakier with anger and sadness.
“Elena, 당신 like me because we grew up together and I’d hardly call that a platform for us to be married. We were children, for God’s sake! What did we know? Of course I liked you, but that’s because 당신 are my friend. I liked many girls in my life because they were all my 프렌즈 and 당신 can’t expect me to 사랑 them all just because I like them. 당신 are no different either, Elena. 당신 have been just a friend in my life and it’s how it will stand, forever. I am sorry if 당신 think otherwise, but I don’t!”
“Arthur?”
“Elena… I am sorry if I have caused 또는 done something to suggest we might actually have a future together. The truth is we don’t.”
“Are 당신 giving up on me, Arthur? Why can’t 당신 give me a chance? I’ll try to win your heart, please! I know so much about you… just give me one chance to prove my love.”
“Elena, please…”
“Don’t lose me, please, Arthur… one chance is all I am asking of you, please.”
“Elena, I can’t accept 당신 in my life… I cannot bring myself to 사랑 you!”
“BUT WHY?” she shouts, startling Arthur. “Why can’t 당신 사랑 me? I know you, Arthur Pendragon!! Inside out, everything about you… I know you!!!”
“No, 당신 don’t, Elena!” Arthur snaps back, silencing Elena. “You claim to know me, but 당신 don’t… stop lying to yourself! 당신 know nuts about me!” he tells her. “What 당신 claim to know is what everyone else does too. My butler knows it as do my friends… it’s not a surprise 당신 know all that, but there’s 더 많이 to me than meets the eye. And 당신 haven’t made any attempt to learn what that is.”
“Which is?” she challenges him. She reaches up and thumbs off a single tear which has rolled down her cheek. Her 심장 aches and all she wants is to slap Arthur as hard she can. But she can’t; she can never bring herself to hurt him. She loves him far too much for that. But why can’t Arthur understand that?
“You know my surface, Elena, but 당신 have no idea what’s in my mind and heart. For instance, 당신 are very keen to see me have my sight back, why? What’s wrong with me now? Why should I restore my sight when I like it just the way it is. If 당신 사랑 me, Elena, you’d accept me just the way I am. 당신 will not ask me to change. But 당신 did… and isn’t that proof enough that you’ve never understood me? 당신 don’t choose a person based on their looks but 당신 accept them just the way they are 또는 당신 change for them. That’s how 당신 prove your 사랑 for them. Have 당신 done that for me?”
“So it’s about that? What I said a while ago, to have your eye sight back?”
“No… 당신 still don’t get it, do you? It’s about heart, Elena. I… can’t accept 당신 because… because…”
“You like someone else?” she guesses.
The statement hits him like a bullet. ‘How on earth did she know this?’ he thinks to himself. “Elena?”
“Is there anyone else?” she asks him again, her voice becoming bitter.
“I… I…” Arthur struggles. Should he tell her about Guinevere 또는 should he lie for now/ He will never have a place for Elena in his 심장 so will it matter if he tells her now 또는 later? Arthur’s mind is in turmoil. He doesn’t want to break her 심장 and he knows she can’t carry on believing in lies. She deserves the truth, if not for him at least for herself.
“Yes,” he puts it as shortly he can. He hears her gasp. “Elena?” he calls, fearing for her.
“There’s… some…” Elena couldn’t bring to finish her sentences. The truth is a shock, a 쓴, 쓰라린 shock and she cannot grasp it. She cannot believe what she heard. She clasps her hand over mouth and leans back. Fresh tears rolls down her cheek.
“Elena?” Arthur calls again. She removes her hand from her mouth.
“You met someone?” she wipes her tears but 더 많이 tears rolls down. She ignores them.
“Yes,” he says again.
“Who is she?” she asks and sniffs. Her eyes hurts but her 심장 hurts deeper.
“Not someone 당신 know, if that’s what concerns you.”
“I don’t care… I need to know her name!!” she asks rudely.
“Guinevere,”
“Is she pretty?”
“Elena! I’ve never seen her… I don’t know how she looks 또는 if she is pretty 또는 not, blond 또는 brunette, dark 또는 fair… I know nothing about her appearance. I have just heard her voice and felt her hands, that’s all!!” Arthur snaps back. He is getting pretty annoyed with Elena and he just wants to leave. Put all this behind him and leave.
“And that’s enough for 당신 to like her, to choose her over me?”
“Elena?” Arthur is getting really irritated 의해 Elena’s behaviour. Why is she being such a jerk? If a person can’t bring themselves to like 또는 사랑 her, so be it. Why the hell is she pushing it? And what difference will it make if she finds out about Guinevere? Not that she’ll be able to meet her 또는 anything like that. “Yes,” he 답변 back.
“Why?”
‘Damn 당신 Elena!’ Arthur thinks bitterly to himself. Elena will never be satisfied if he keeps giving her 답변 which don’t silence her up. She wants 더 많이 because she feels threatened 의해 Guinevere. She is envious of Guinevere. The only way Arthur can put this matter to rest is 의해 giving full information about his 사랑 for Guinevere. “Because she is different than you, Elena. That’s why I choose her over you. Satisfied?”
“Oh, really? How is that Arthur?” she mocks him.
“Elena, stop please.”
“How is she different than me? How did she beat me to you? How, Arthur? I would really like to know… no, I’m dying to know because I feel like a tramp here!! Understand, a tramp, like thrash being thrown here and there!!”
“Please…”
“No, don’t 당신 ‘please’ me, Arthur Pendragon… I want to know where have I failed and she passed. 당신 have seen me in flesh Arthur but 당신 have no idea how she looks, yet, she trumped me. How? I really want to know because… I feel cheated!!”
“I don’t mean to cheat you, Elena, but she won my 심장 differently.”
“How?”
“She… understood me better.”
“Excuse me?” Elena didn’t understand. ‘Is he saying I’ve failed to understand him?’ she thinks bitterly. ‘What the bloody hell I’m been trying to do all these while?’
“She knows me in and out Elena. It’s like she can read me like a book. She understands me better than anyone does. She is different because she doesn’t look at me like all of 당신 do, she has her way and it impresses me. With her I feel… comfortable. I feel happy, she makes me smile, and I haven’t been smiling for a long time. I feel… complete with her.”
“God… all these time with me, 당신 have been lying, haven’t you?” Elena’s 심장 breaks and she feels herself ripping to pieces.
“I didn’t lie to you, Elena, I never did” Arthur is taken back 의해 her accusation. When did he ever lie to her?
“Yes 당신 did. 당신 told me 당신 like me, that I make 당신 happy… all that crap; it was a lie, wasn’t it?”
“Elena, I think 당신 misunderstand me. I have never meant it that way. 당신 are my friend and that’s how I see you, until now. Whatever I have said, I meant it friendly. I will never mean it otherwise 또는 provide 당신 with false hopes.”
“But that’s exactly what 당신 did, Arthur!!” she couldn’t tolerate the hurt further. She didn’t expect this, not this sort of meeting with Arthur. Her dreams, her future and her wishes to be with him forever are all squashed hard 의해 Arthur’s 사랑 confession for a girl he has hardly met. How could he do this to her? How?
“Then I am sorry,” he puts it bluntly. There is no way he can make her understand no matter how hard he tries. It’s best he ends it like this.
“Sorry?” Elena wipes her tears and leans closer to him, shortening their distance. “Sorry, is all 당신 have to offer me?” she asks him in anger and bitterness that burns her heart.
“What else do 당신 expect, Elena? I don’t know, so do tell me please?” Arthur is pissed. “I didn’t give 당신 any false hope, never once. If 당신 choose to accept everything I did 또는 said as 당신 wish, then there’s nothing I can do about it. That’s 당신 fault and your father’s… as well as my father’s…” Arthur didn’t get to complete his sentence as Elena’s hand lands heavily on his cheek. He almost falls off the sofa but he grabs the sides of the sofa to keep up with the balance. The slap hurts and burns his cheek. But he says nothing about it as he knows why she did it. He can understand her pain. He hears her cries.
“How can 당신 say that Arthur? How can 당신 be so cruel? You’re heartless, cruel!” she says in between the tears. “You… liar!!” she shouts in rage.
“Elena…”
“Don’t 당신 dare say my name, 당신 don’t deserve to… 당신 don’t deserve to…”
“But please listen to me.”
“No!! Not anymore. I will not listen to your lies anymore. I want 당신 to leave. Now!!”
“Elena…”
“NOW!!!” she barks at him.
Arthur knows the conversation has come to an end. There is nothing 더 많이 he can say 또는 assure her with. She will not listen to him, no matter how hard he begs. But it’s for the best, and despite the heat of the matter, he feels slightly relieved with how he has handled his confession. He wanted Elena to know about Guinevere and he made sure of that. That was important and it’s done and dusted. What happens now will not matter much to him. As long as Elena knows he isn’t available for her, Arthur is relieved. “Sure… get my father please and I will leave at once” he requests.
“Camille!!” Elena calls for her maid’s name, as loudly as she can. Her maid rushes to the room, wiping her hands on her apron. Camille looks at Elena and immediately knows something is not right.
“Yes?”
“Can 당신 ask Mr. Uther to come over here right this 분 because his son wants to leave?”
“Sure,” Camille says and leaves. Arthur keeps his mouth tightly sealed all the while waiting for his father. After ten minutes, he hears footsteps and his father’s voice.
“Arthur?” his father calls and closes beside him.
“Can we leave?” Arthur gets right to the point.
“Sure, in a while.”
“Now?”
“Why, what’s wrong?” his father is surprised.
“I want to leave… I don’t feel well.”
“But I thought…”
“Now, father, 또는 do 당신 want me leave on my own?”
Uther is stunned. He has no idea what happened 또는 why is Arthur behaving like this. He turns towards Elena and finds her seated quietly; her eyes tear welled and face gloomy. Something happened and he doesn’t know what. But now is not the time to ask.
“Are 당신 still here, Father?”
“Yes, yes… we’ll leave now” Uther says and looks at Godwyn apologetically. He shrugs his shoulder when his friend tries to 질문 him with his looks and helps Arthur to get to his feet.
“Here 당신 go… thanks you, Godwyn, and see 당신 later Elena,” Uther says. Godwyn smiles but Elena keeps quiet.
“Elena?” Godwyn reminds her sternly.
“I heard him father… they can leave.”
“Elena!!” Godwyn says again, this time his face furious but Uther stops him.
“It’s allright, Godwyn… it’s all right,” he says, looking at Elena. He steps closer and whispers to his friend. “Something happened, find out,” he says and steps back. Godwyn is surprised but he nods to obey Uther’s instruction.
“Father?” Arthur calls and Uther steps back to his son, leading him out of the room.
Once they’ve left, Godwyn turns his attention towards Elena who looks at her father with fresh tears rolling down her cheek.
“What happened, Arthur?” Uther demands as soon as they have reached Arthur’s apartment. Arthur walks in without answering him and Uther follows closely behind.
“Arthur?”
“I heard you,” Arthur 답변 back in sarcasm.
“What happened?”
“What?”
“Why did 당신 demand to come home?”
“I felt bored.”
“That’s all… 당신 felt bored and 당신 asked to be taken back home?” his father isn’t buying it. There has to be something else.
“Yeah, why shouldn’t I? After all, I had nothing to say anymore,” Arthur says and walks right up to the sofa, feels his way and sits down. The apartment seems quiet. Looks like his 프렌즈 aren’t home. They must have left to have some fun for themselves. Arthur can’t blame them, after all they deserve some quality time 의해 themselves. Arthur has been preoccupied with his own thoughts he hardly heard his father’s words.
“That’s bullshit Arthur!! Why was Elena crying?”
“Huh?” Arthur seems lost. He wasn’t paying attention.
“Why was Elena crying?” his father is patient enough to repeat the question.
“She was?”
“Arthur!!” Uther snaps in frustration.
“I don’t know! How am I supposed to know if she’d been crying 또는 not? In case you’ve forgotten, I’m blind!!” Arthur snaps back. Uther is taken back 의해 Arthur’s sudden outburst and for a second, he stays mum.
Arthur is taken back 의해 his own outburst as well and he hangs his head down in anger. He is frustrated 의해 the way events have unfolded and all he wishes for right now is some peace. Some quiet moment all for him. He doesn’t feel like explaining anything to anyone at the moment, especially to his father. Tomorrow, maybe, but not today. He just hopes his father knows what he needs and leaves him alone.
“What happened, Arthur?” Uther asks softly after noticing how frustrated his son is.
Arthur lifts his head up and sighs. “I know why 당신 brought me there, Father, and whatever your plan was, it’ll never work out… not after what happened today.”
“Care to be 더 많이 precise?”
“I know 당신 think Elena and I are… in 사랑 또는 something like that. But it’s not like that at all. We don’t 사랑 each other and we certainly can’t marry and live happily as 당신 and Godwyn planned. It’ll never work, Father.”
“Did she tell 당신 this?”
“No, I told her.”
“You told her that 당신 don’t 사랑 her?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because that is the truth and she deserves to know how I feel about all this. So I told her how I feel.”
“And how do 당신 feel about Elena, Arthur?”
“She’s my friend and will remain like that…”
“This is ridiculous!! What do 당신 expect me to tell her father, Arthur? He’s expecting me to accept her as my daughter-in-law and I gave him my word. Now 당신 tell me 당신 can’t marry her?” Uther throws his hands in the air and shakes his head. He cannot believe he is listening to all this. Just when everything is working out fine, Arthur is giving him a headache.
“You were supposed to ask me first, Father… this is my life! 당신 can’t just go on and decide my future for me!”
“I can Arthur, don’t 당신 forget that!!”
“This is my life!!” Arthur argues.
“And 당신 are my son!!” Uther snaps back sternly.
“But I’d have to live with her for the rest of my life, Father! I can’t marry one person and 사랑 another!!” Arthur blurts out in anger. Uther opens his mouth to answer but stops abruptly. His eyes widen.
“What did 당신 say?” he asks softly, not believing what he’s just heard. Arthur knows he has broken the lid off his secret and there’s no point in hiding it anymore. Somehow, his father will come to learn about Guinevere, either from him 또는 someone else. Best Arthur tells him himself.
“I… 사랑 someone else,” Arthur says, licking his lips.
“And who is that Arthur?” Uther’s voice changes. Arthur notices this but he keeps his cool.
“Someone I met at the hospital… 당신 wouldn’t know her,” Arthur says.
‘Says who Arthur?’ Uther thinks bitterly to himself. “Really?”
“Look Father, I know…”
“What’s her name?”
“Sorry?”
“What’s her name? She has one, doesn’t she?” Uther asks.
“Guinevere,” Arthur 답변 shortly.
“And how long have 당신 both known each other?”
“A 월 또는 two I suppose… Father, please… I know 당신 must be thinking how I can choose her over Elena. I’m going to tell 당신 exactly what I told Elena. She took it rather poorly and I’m not sure if it will go down well with you. But I will say it anyway. Guinevere… she is different, Father. I have never even seen her, yet I feel like I’ve known her for years. I like the way she treats me, the way we share our laughter, the way we fight… everything about her fills my 심장 with happiness. There isn’t a 일 that goes 의해 without her thoughts filling my mind. I feel her all around me; everything I touch, I sense, I hear and I listen… she’s there. I’m not sure if you’ll understand me, but she completes me. She makes me whole and I like that feeling. I haven’t felt good about myself for a long time, Father but now I do… thanks to her, thanks to Guinevere.”
“And 당신 decide to choose her over Elena?”
“You still don’t understand, do you? I didn’t choose her over Elena, I chose her for herself. Elena is nothing 더 많이 than my friend and will remain as such for as long as I live. It will always be Guinevere Father… she’s all I want in my life”
“What have 당신 done, Arthur?” Uther says and sits down, holding his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry Father… I am sorry to disappoint 당신 but I can never bring myself to accept Elena.”
“WHAT!!!! What are 당신 saying, Arthur? This is…” Uther doesn’t know how to continue. “How can I tell this to…”
“You have to, Father.”
“Do 당신 have any idea what you’re asking me to do, Arthur? Unlike you, my friendship with Godwyn goes back years… it’s an unshakeable bond which binds on trust and respect we have for each other… now, 당신 are asking me to jeopardize all that because 당신 are in 사랑 with some girl?”
“I thought I came first in your life, Father,” Arthur reminds bitterly.
“You do, but so does Godwyn.”
“Then I can’t do anything. My decision is final. I can never marry Elena and I told her that. Whether she accepts it 또는 not, I don’t care. My 심장 belongs to one girl and her name is Guinevere!” Arthur says and gets up.
“Don’t make me do this, Arthur.”
“You have to, Father… I will never accept Elena, no matter how important it is to 당신 and your friend. If 당신 still insist on carrying on with this plan, then I’d have to take matters in my own hands… and it is not something you’d want 또는 like. Oh 의해 the way, I think 당신 have first hand experience in that.”
“Are 당신 threatening me, Arthur?”
“No, just reminding 당신 what I am capable of doing, Father” Arthur says and taps his way to his room.
Uther is gutted but he can’t change Arthur’s mind. He knew that girl will play some role in Arthur’s life but he didn’t expect her to gel herself this deep in his son’s heart. He is confused and angry. His plans have taken a different role, a different path. He thought he can have the final say in Arthur’s life if he gets back in his son’s good 책 but it seems like his son have taken a precautionary step back. Arthur is suspicious of his plans and Uther must be careful to not get himself caught. He almost did just now, but errors like this mustn’t be allowed to happen. It’s too late to correct anything now; Arthur has won the first round. Uther must tread carefully. There is still time and still ways, he must know how to play his cards and Arthur will come back to him. But for the moment, Uther must accept defeat; no matter how humiliating that is.
“Why her, Arthur?” Uther asks, getting up. His eyes were red with anger and his knuckles white. He knows he has been defeated but he still deserves an answer.
“Because I 사랑 her, Father!” Arthur 답변 shortly.
Elena pushes her hair behind her ears and adjusts the hem of her 치마 for the third time that night. Her nervousness is obvious 의해 the way she sits in Arthur’s presence. In front of her, Arthur sits quietly, clutching the cane in his hand as if it was his life saver. They have been in the Godwyn’s household for almost three hours and since he arrived here, he kept his conversation to a minimum. A hello, a nod when necessary, a smile if needed and another hello is all he’s been saying around. He knows why he is here. His father had been clear cut about his intentions though he didn’t say it loud and clear. He didn’t have to. Knowing Uther, there is always a reason why he does certain things. Like today for example. Arthur is to meet with Elena and resume his acquaintance with her. And when Elena is comfortable with Arthur and his condition, they will prepare to bind Arthur and Elena together in the name of marriage. Uther didn’t speak to Arthur about his plans but knowing his father, Arthur suspected this from the beginning when Uther decided to pay his friend a surprise visit.
‘Surprise my foot!’ Arthur curses himself as he recalls back the conversation he heard between his father and Godwyn. They didn’t sound surprised at all. In fact, Godwyn seems to be expecting Uther. ‘Then why the lie father?’ Arthur thinks again as he feels betrayed 의해 his father. Though Uther told Arthur that Elena is here to meet him, he said his friend isn’t expecting him today but the moment they arrived, Godwyn had been behaving as if they are expected. And that escalated Arthur’s suspicion to another level. What is this new kind of game his father is playing? He thought he could trust his father but seems this is not the case. He is still the same old Uther and it will never change. Ever!
“Arthur?”
“Huh?” he turns to where he hears someone calling him.
“It’s me, Elena.”
“Oh…” he sounds disappointed, but she doesn’t suspect anything.
“Are 당신 all right?” she asks.
“Yeah… why?” he wonders why she would ask anything like that.
“You look uptight… like angry 또는 something.”
“No, I’m fine, just a little tired, that’s all.”
“Oh,” she laughs to herself. “Silly me,” she replies.
“How are 당신 Elena?” Arthur asks, smiling at her. He didn’t want to strike up a conversation with her but since she has started one, he knows he has to comply as well 또는 she’ll deem him to be rude.
“I’m fine, thank 당신 for asking,” she replies with a smile. She’s happy Arthur is concerned about her. Perhaps she has been wrong about him after all. She had been concerned if Arthur will like her after all these years 또는 if he’d still care. Looks like he still does. Wait till Camille hears about this.
“Good,” Arthur replies and the quietness resumes back, much to Elena’s surprise. Arthur simply didn’t know what to say to her. Before they had plenty to share and laugh about, but after the accident and after meeting Guinevere, he didn’t even have the desire to see her 또는 strike up any conversation. He prefers to be left alone, and at the moment, peace and quiet is all he craves. But knowing Elena, he knows there is no way she’ll keep quiet. She will start blabbering about why he ignored her all these years and what happened and so on. Arthur hates answering her questions. If only he can make her keep quiet, if only. But he can only wish. Perhaps thinking about Guinevere can make him deaf to Elena’s words. ‘Guinevere’ he thinks of her as the name prints in his mind once again, like it has been doing all 일 long today. He had been thinking of Guinevere all the time he had been here, which isn’t that unusual for him. He likes it. With the name swirling in his head, he forgets everything and everyone else. No one else matters. It’s like the name puts him in a trance. He becomes 마법에 걸린 사랑 의해 the mere mention of her name. A smile escapes the corner of his lips.
“Arthur?”
Arthur flinches angrily for being interrupted but he keeps his anger in check. He doesn’t want Elena to find out he’s gutted with her. “Yeah?” he controls his voice.
“Something amusing?”
“Sorry?” what on earth is she saying, he thinks.
“You’re smiling to yourself, something funny?”
‘What the… That’s my business, woman! What’s your problem? If I want to smile 또는 cry in the midst of a crowd then that’s my bloody wish. Why? Do I have to inform everything I do to you? Don’t I have my own freedom to do it?’ Arthur thinks angrily but he doesn’t answer her, he didn’t want to. He feigns another smile and hates himself for doing it. He hates faking his actions, be it good 또는 bad. He hates it. He’d rather live with the aftermath of his behaviour than fake his way out. He keeps quiet.
But Elena won’t leave the matter to rest without finding out first. She has to know why Arthur smiled. Was it about her? Did he recalled some of their funny moments together 또는 was he thinking about something else? “Arthur?”
‘What now?’ Arthur feels like slapping Elena. He is irked and extremely irritated 의해 her agitatious interruptions. “Yes?” he asks her, his voice rising a bit. But Elena ignores it. Either she’s too dumb to ignore it 또는 she’s doing it on a purpose.
“Is something wrong?” she asks him.
“No, why?” Arthur is getting irritated.
“You are unusually quiet.”
“Aren’t I always?” Arthur fakes a laugh. ‘What kind of a 질문 is that?’ he thinks to himself.
“No. 당신 weren’t before, but I have to admit, you’ve been very quiet recently, especially today. 당신 don’t call, don’t reply any of my messages 또는 letters… 당신 don’t pay me any visits and now that I’ve come back, 당신 don’t heed me at all. 당신 have changed a lot, Arthur. And today, 당신 seem to be in your own world, all on your own. I feel as I’ve interrupted into your privacy when all I want is to spend some quality time with you.”
“Elena…”
“No, Arthur. I’m not angry, please don’t misunderstand me,” Elena corrects herself quickly. She gets up and walks up towards Arthur and sits down beside him. “I miss you, that’s all,” she reaches over and clasps his hand but he pulls away softly. Elena’s face changes when he does that. But she keeps her disappointment in check. She wants to know why Arthur is behaving like this. Only a short while 이전 she had her hopes high thinking he might be caring about her. Now her hopes are beginning to fade as quickly as they appeared.
“I am not angry with 당신 but a lot has happened since…” Arthur starts as he begins to feel guilty.
“I understand, Arthur. It must have been devastating for you, is it not? No one expected 당신 to suffer from the accident but unfortunately, 당신 did. Suffering like this… all alone must have left 당신 scared. I can’t imagine how 당신 went through this on your own. I pity you, Arthur,” Elena cuts him off and takes Arthur 의해 surprise.
‘Pity?’ Arthur is shocked. ‘Pity, she says?’ he thinks again. Guinevere never pitied him. She told him to face the world bravely, never stoop low 또는 expect anyone’s sympathy and above all she told him to accept who he is. But Elena pities him?
“Arthur?” Elena touches his hand again and once again he removes his hand from hers, this time quickly.
“What is there to pity?” he asks, annoyed.
“I still remember 당신 being carefree, Arthur, enjoying your life and never once being bothered about the world, but now, it must be so hard for you, isn’t it? Losing your sight and turning vulnerable, it must have hurt 당신 bad. I still remember 당신 telling me how 당신 liked darkness because it was your friend… is it still your friend, Arthur? 또는 are 당신 afraid of it now?”
Arthur doesn’t know how to answer her. Is she trying to make him feel better 또는 criticizing his condition? Arthur doesn’t know because he can’t see and from the way she’s talking to him, he feels as if she is mocking him 또는 at least that’s how it sounds to him. But she is his friend, and 프렌즈 don’t talk like this to another.
“When I first heard about your accident, I was utterly devastated, Arthur. My first thought was how will 당신 cope without your eyesight? How will 당신 carry on living? Eyesight is the most important sense in our life, and to lose that is… unthinkable. If I 로스트 my sight I would do all I could to get it restored… have 당신 thought about that operation, Arthur?”
“No.” Arthur is getting very pissed. He’s guessed where the conversation seems to be heading.
“Oh… daddy knows a doctor. A good friend of his, actually, and he is very good indeed. Maybe you’d like to get your…”
“Are 당신 asking me to get my eyes operated on, Elena?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“What is wrong with how I am now?”
“Don’t 당신 realise you’ve 로스트 something, Arthur? How can 당신 still insist upon living like this? We all need to see Arthur, we need our eyesight. I know I couldn’t live like this.”
Arthur wants to see right now. He really wishes he could see, not to accept Elena’s statement but to slap her real hard. How can she say this to him? How can she talk to him like this? What does she know?
“You have to get your eyesight back, Arthur. Your life isn’t complete without it and I feel really odd talking to 당신 like this. I mean, don’t get me wrong but, knowing 당신 all your life, suddenly I feel as if I’m having conversation with a 벽 because 당신 can’t see me and your responsive manner isn’t quite the way its supposed to be…”
“ELENA!!!” Arthur shouts and gets up, taking Elena 의해 surprise. He is furious and he breathes heavily because he can’t see where she is and he is extremely gutted with her. Elena’s startled 의해 his reaction and she waits for him to continue.
Arthur is startled as well. He didn’t realise he’d react like this, especially towards Elena but he couldn’t carry on listening to her. It is hurting and he wants her to stop. But she wouldn’t and he has no other choice but to shout at her. But his 심장 aches listening to her statement.
“Ar… Arthur?” Elena calls softly. Arthur sighs heavily.
“I’m sorry, Elena,” Arthur says and closes his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t have shouted at her but he couldn’t tolerate her any longer. If he didn’t shout, she would have said far worse things and he didn’t know if he could stomach any more.
“What happened to you?”
“I’m sorry… I…” he sits down and this time Elena doesn’t comfort him. To be honest, she is startled and she is trembling after being shouted at. No one has done this before, not like this and not directly at her. This is the first time and she is terrified. Arthur has never raised his voice at her and she has never seen him angry. She had wondered how would he look like if he was angry, well… seems like she has her answer now.
“Why did 당신 shout at me Arthur?”
“I’m sorry…”
“Why?” she keep pushing him.
“Drop it, Elena.”
“Why?” she didn’t care.
“What is wrong with you, Elena? Can’t 당신 understand when I say no? Why do 당신 have to be such a stubborn ars…” Arthur stops his words and curses his choice of word. He hopes she didn’t capture the last word.
“Why are 당신 angry with me?” she starts all over again. Her voice croaks slightly.
Arthur sighs. She just doesn’t get it, does she? “I am not angry with you, Elena… I’m angry with myself.”
“No, 당신 are angry with me Arthur. I told 당신 that you’ve changed, didn’t I? Isn’t this proof enough? You’ve turned over a new leaf Arthur; 당신 are not the same person 당신 were. 당신 get angry quickly, 당신 snap and bicker all the time… 당신 don’t even smile. What is wrong with you?”
“Elena, 당신 have no idea what I went through, and…”
“I am just trying to help you, Arthur. Is that wrong?”
“I know and I understand…” he is getting tired trying explaining to everyone. Why don’t they just understand?
“No, 당신 don’t Arthur. 당신 don’t know anything. 당신 don’t know how I feel about 당신 또는 how I’m crazy for you! 당신 have no idea of those feelings and… passions I feel for 당신 since I’ve met you. I have never been able to understand why I am feeling like this back when we were still children but I do now. I understand and I like it. But I doubt 당신 do, Arthur. I really don’t think 당신 share the same emotions and passions that I do. 당신 hardly know anything about me and 당신 don’t want to find out, either. But I do, I know almost everything about you. I know what your favourite colour is, 음식 is, clothing is… what your likes and dislikes are, how 당신 like room to be arranged, what your opinion in politics are… everything. I’ve made a point to find out everything about 당신 Arthur, why? Why do 당신 think I do it… because I like you? And it’s not on the surface, not as friends… but 더 많이 than that. Do 당신 know what I’m saying?”
“Elena…” Arthur doesn’t know what to say. This is what he feared and it happened. He is trying to avoid this conversation and it has to happen today.
“I 사랑 you, Arthur Pendragon! I want to marry you, Arthur!”
“Elena, enough!” Arthur has to stop her before she gets too far. Elena looks at him in surprise. She doesn’t understand.
“Don’t 당신 like me, Arthur?”
“Elena please… enough, just stop it,” he urges but she still in surprise. Why does she have to stop now? She likes him and doesn’t he like her? Isn’t this why he and his father are here, in her home. To discuss their future and their marriage? But why does she have a bad feeling that her dreams are about to be quashed? It seems only his father is keen on this marriage and not Arthur. Elena feels her fingers trembling. Her 심장 is beating nervously and she is afraid of what Arthur might say next. She doesn’t want to hear anything. She fears she doesn’t have the strength to confront what Arthur might tell her. But she will have to face the reality even if it means her getting hurt. She really wanted to see Arthur to confide her feelings and felt he will reciprocate her feelings. She always thought he loved her, but from what she heard so far, she doubts he does. But she wants to find out the truth from him today, 의해 all means. She doesn’t care about anything; she wants to know what he thinks of her. She has to dig the truth from him, even if it hurts him 또는 her, she’ll do it.
“No, I will not stop till I know how 당신 feel about me. I waited five years to ask 당신 this 질문 and I will not stop till I get an answer. I want 당신 tell me the truth, Arthur!”
“What do 당신 expect me to tell you?” Arthur sighs and rakes through his hair.
“The truth.”
“Can 당신 handle the truth?” he asks. He really wishes this conversation isn’t taking place but Elena is being extremely agitatious and Arthur doesn’t like hurting her. She’s still his friend even if he doesn’t harbour any other feeling apart from friendship for her. But she is insisting on the truth and what is she supposed to do? He will have to tell her one 일 and let that 일 be today. The sooner he tells her, the better. She will be hurt a while but she’ll recover, she’s a strong girl and she’ll find her true 사랑 one 일 with someone else. Someone who’ll make her happy. But that someone is not him. But how will he put in without hurting her?
“Yes,” she says determinedly.
“Fine, Elena, 당신 want the truth, I’ll give 당신 the truth, yeah.” Arthur starts and licks his lips. He wants to choose his words rather carefully. He wishes not to hurt her and his words will have to be constructive yet soft. “I like you, but not as what 당신 deem 또는 dream like it to be. I like 당신 only as my friend and I can never bring myself to like 당신 further… because whatever feelings I am supposed to have for 당신 should come from here,” Arthur points to his heart. “And I don’t have it; it’s never been there,” he adds, poking his heart. “I am sorry for being blunt, but this is how I feel about you. 당신 are a lovely girl, Elena, but 당신 and I… we don’t fit together. We can never fit together,” he says.
This is what she feared hearing. And the reality hits her like a rock. She cannot believe what she hears. ‘Is this true?’ she thinks to herself. “Wh… what… are 당신 saying, Arthur?” her lip quivers and her words stick to her tongue, unable to roll out. Tears glistens in her eyes. She inhales deeply to keep herself in check. ‘No… this is not true,’ she thinks again.
“You and I can be friends, not lovers, and certainly not husband and wife,” Arthur hates being harsh but he has no choice. Elena’s a great girl, good and friendly but she is also stubborn. She has to have everything she lays her eyes upon and is she doesn’t get her way; she’ll throw herself into fits. Being pampered since she was a child, Elena will not understand 또는 try to understand anything that she isn’t in concerned with. That’s how she gets everything done her way. Now she claims not to understand what Arthur says but in truth, Arthur suspects she does. But she pretends not to. And that is why Arthur has to be a little harsh with his words.
“Arthur, I thought… I thought we’ve liked each other since we were children, did we not? What… what are 당신 saying?” she asks, her voice gets croakier with anger and sadness.
“Elena, 당신 like me because we grew up together and I’d hardly call that a platform for us to be married. We were children, for God’s sake! What did we know? Of course I liked you, but that’s because 당신 are my friend. I liked many girls in my life because they were all my 프렌즈 and 당신 can’t expect me to 사랑 them all just because I like them. 당신 are no different either, Elena. 당신 have been just a friend in my life and it’s how it will stand, forever. I am sorry if 당신 think otherwise, but I don’t!”
“Arthur?”
“Elena… I am sorry if I have caused 또는 done something to suggest we might actually have a future together. The truth is we don’t.”
“Are 당신 giving up on me, Arthur? Why can’t 당신 give me a chance? I’ll try to win your heart, please! I know so much about you… just give me one chance to prove my love.”
“Elena, please…”
“Don’t lose me, please, Arthur… one chance is all I am asking of you, please.”
“Elena, I can’t accept 당신 in my life… I cannot bring myself to 사랑 you!”
“BUT WHY?” she shouts, startling Arthur. “Why can’t 당신 사랑 me? I know you, Arthur Pendragon!! Inside out, everything about you… I know you!!!”
“No, 당신 don’t, Elena!” Arthur snaps back, silencing Elena. “You claim to know me, but 당신 don’t… stop lying to yourself! 당신 know nuts about me!” he tells her. “What 당신 claim to know is what everyone else does too. My butler knows it as do my friends… it’s not a surprise 당신 know all that, but there’s 더 많이 to me than meets the eye. And 당신 haven’t made any attempt to learn what that is.”
“Which is?” she challenges him. She reaches up and thumbs off a single tear which has rolled down her cheek. Her 심장 aches and all she wants is to slap Arthur as hard she can. But she can’t; she can never bring herself to hurt him. She loves him far too much for that. But why can’t Arthur understand that?
“You know my surface, Elena, but 당신 have no idea what’s in my mind and heart. For instance, 당신 are very keen to see me have my sight back, why? What’s wrong with me now? Why should I restore my sight when I like it just the way it is. If 당신 사랑 me, Elena, you’d accept me just the way I am. 당신 will not ask me to change. But 당신 did… and isn’t that proof enough that you’ve never understood me? 당신 don’t choose a person based on their looks but 당신 accept them just the way they are 또는 당신 change for them. That’s how 당신 prove your 사랑 for them. Have 당신 done that for me?”
“So it’s about that? What I said a while ago, to have your eye sight back?”
“No… 당신 still don’t get it, do you? It’s about heart, Elena. I… can’t accept 당신 because… because…”
“You like someone else?” she guesses.
The statement hits him like a bullet. ‘How on earth did she know this?’ he thinks to himself. “Elena?”
“Is there anyone else?” she asks him again, her voice becoming bitter.
“I… I…” Arthur struggles. Should he tell her about Guinevere 또는 should he lie for now/ He will never have a place for Elena in his 심장 so will it matter if he tells her now 또는 later? Arthur’s mind is in turmoil. He doesn’t want to break her 심장 and he knows she can’t carry on believing in lies. She deserves the truth, if not for him at least for herself.
“Yes,” he puts it as shortly he can. He hears her gasp. “Elena?” he calls, fearing for her.
“There’s… some…” Elena couldn’t bring to finish her sentences. The truth is a shock, a 쓴, 쓰라린 shock and she cannot grasp it. She cannot believe what she heard. She clasps her hand over mouth and leans back. Fresh tears rolls down her cheek.
“Elena?” Arthur calls again. She removes her hand from her mouth.
“You met someone?” she wipes her tears but 더 많이 tears rolls down. She ignores them.
“Yes,” he says again.
“Who is she?” she asks and sniffs. Her eyes hurts but her 심장 hurts deeper.
“Not someone 당신 know, if that’s what concerns you.”
“I don’t care… I need to know her name!!” she asks rudely.
“Guinevere,”
“Is she pretty?”
“Elena! I’ve never seen her… I don’t know how she looks 또는 if she is pretty 또는 not, blond 또는 brunette, dark 또는 fair… I know nothing about her appearance. I have just heard her voice and felt her hands, that’s all!!” Arthur snaps back. He is getting pretty annoyed with Elena and he just wants to leave. Put all this behind him and leave.
“And that’s enough for 당신 to like her, to choose her over me?”
“Elena?” Arthur is getting really irritated 의해 Elena’s behaviour. Why is she being such a jerk? If a person can’t bring themselves to like 또는 사랑 her, so be it. Why the hell is she pushing it? And what difference will it make if she finds out about Guinevere? Not that she’ll be able to meet her 또는 anything like that. “Yes,” he 답변 back.
“Why?”
‘Damn 당신 Elena!’ Arthur thinks bitterly to himself. Elena will never be satisfied if he keeps giving her 답변 which don’t silence her up. She wants 더 많이 because she feels threatened 의해 Guinevere. She is envious of Guinevere. The only way Arthur can put this matter to rest is 의해 giving full information about his 사랑 for Guinevere. “Because she is different than you, Elena. That’s why I choose her over you. Satisfied?”
“Oh, really? How is that Arthur?” she mocks him.
“Elena, stop please.”
“How is she different than me? How did she beat me to you? How, Arthur? I would really like to know… no, I’m dying to know because I feel like a tramp here!! Understand, a tramp, like thrash being thrown here and there!!”
“Please…”
“No, don’t 당신 ‘please’ me, Arthur Pendragon… I want to know where have I failed and she passed. 당신 have seen me in flesh Arthur but 당신 have no idea how she looks, yet, she trumped me. How? I really want to know because… I feel cheated!!”
“I don’t mean to cheat you, Elena, but she won my 심장 differently.”
“How?”
“She… understood me better.”
“Excuse me?” Elena didn’t understand. ‘Is he saying I’ve failed to understand him?’ she thinks bitterly. ‘What the bloody hell I’m been trying to do all these while?’
“She knows me in and out Elena. It’s like she can read me like a book. She understands me better than anyone does. She is different because she doesn’t look at me like all of 당신 do, she has her way and it impresses me. With her I feel… comfortable. I feel happy, she makes me smile, and I haven’t been smiling for a long time. I feel… complete with her.”
“God… all these time with me, 당신 have been lying, haven’t you?” Elena’s 심장 breaks and she feels herself ripping to pieces.
“I didn’t lie to you, Elena, I never did” Arthur is taken back 의해 her accusation. When did he ever lie to her?
“Yes 당신 did. 당신 told me 당신 like me, that I make 당신 happy… all that crap; it was a lie, wasn’t it?”
“Elena, I think 당신 misunderstand me. I have never meant it that way. 당신 are my friend and that’s how I see you, until now. Whatever I have said, I meant it friendly. I will never mean it otherwise 또는 provide 당신 with false hopes.”
“But that’s exactly what 당신 did, Arthur!!” she couldn’t tolerate the hurt further. She didn’t expect this, not this sort of meeting with Arthur. Her dreams, her future and her wishes to be with him forever are all squashed hard 의해 Arthur’s 사랑 confession for a girl he has hardly met. How could he do this to her? How?
“Then I am sorry,” he puts it bluntly. There is no way he can make her understand no matter how hard he tries. It’s best he ends it like this.
“Sorry?” Elena wipes her tears and leans closer to him, shortening their distance. “Sorry, is all 당신 have to offer me?” she asks him in anger and bitterness that burns her heart.
“What else do 당신 expect, Elena? I don’t know, so do tell me please?” Arthur is pissed. “I didn’t give 당신 any false hope, never once. If 당신 choose to accept everything I did 또는 said as 당신 wish, then there’s nothing I can do about it. That’s 당신 fault and your father’s… as well as my father’s…” Arthur didn’t get to complete his sentence as Elena’s hand lands heavily on his cheek. He almost falls off the sofa but he grabs the sides of the sofa to keep up with the balance. The slap hurts and burns his cheek. But he says nothing about it as he knows why she did it. He can understand her pain. He hears her cries.
“How can 당신 say that Arthur? How can 당신 be so cruel? You’re heartless, cruel!” she says in between the tears. “You… liar!!” she shouts in rage.
“Elena…”
“Don’t 당신 dare say my name, 당신 don’t deserve to… 당신 don’t deserve to…”
“But please listen to me.”
“No!! Not anymore. I will not listen to your lies anymore. I want 당신 to leave. Now!!”
“Elena…”
“NOW!!!” she barks at him.
Arthur knows the conversation has come to an end. There is nothing 더 많이 he can say 또는 assure her with. She will not listen to him, no matter how hard he begs. But it’s for the best, and despite the heat of the matter, he feels slightly relieved with how he has handled his confession. He wanted Elena to know about Guinevere and he made sure of that. That was important and it’s done and dusted. What happens now will not matter much to him. As long as Elena knows he isn’t available for her, Arthur is relieved. “Sure… get my father please and I will leave at once” he requests.
“Camille!!” Elena calls for her maid’s name, as loudly as she can. Her maid rushes to the room, wiping her hands on her apron. Camille looks at Elena and immediately knows something is not right.
“Yes?”
“Can 당신 ask Mr. Uther to come over here right this 분 because his son wants to leave?”
“Sure,” Camille says and leaves. Arthur keeps his mouth tightly sealed all the while waiting for his father. After ten minutes, he hears footsteps and his father’s voice.
“Arthur?” his father calls and closes beside him.
“Can we leave?” Arthur gets right to the point.
“Sure, in a while.”
“Now?”
“Why, what’s wrong?” his father is surprised.
“I want to leave… I don’t feel well.”
“But I thought…”
“Now, father, 또는 do 당신 want me leave on my own?”
Uther is stunned. He has no idea what happened 또는 why is Arthur behaving like this. He turns towards Elena and finds her seated quietly; her eyes tear welled and face gloomy. Something happened and he doesn’t know what. But now is not the time to ask.
“Are 당신 still here, Father?”
“Yes, yes… we’ll leave now” Uther says and looks at Godwyn apologetically. He shrugs his shoulder when his friend tries to 질문 him with his looks and helps Arthur to get to his feet.
“Here 당신 go… thanks you, Godwyn, and see 당신 later Elena,” Uther says. Godwyn smiles but Elena keeps quiet.
“Elena?” Godwyn reminds her sternly.
“I heard him father… they can leave.”
“Elena!!” Godwyn says again, this time his face furious but Uther stops him.
“It’s allright, Godwyn… it’s all right,” he says, looking at Elena. He steps closer and whispers to his friend. “Something happened, find out,” he says and steps back. Godwyn is surprised but he nods to obey Uther’s instruction.
“Father?” Arthur calls and Uther steps back to his son, leading him out of the room.
Once they’ve left, Godwyn turns his attention towards Elena who looks at her father with fresh tears rolling down her cheek.
“What happened, Arthur?” Uther demands as soon as they have reached Arthur’s apartment. Arthur walks in without answering him and Uther follows closely behind.
“Arthur?”
“I heard you,” Arthur 답변 back in sarcasm.
“What happened?”
“What?”
“Why did 당신 demand to come home?”
“I felt bored.”
“That’s all… 당신 felt bored and 당신 asked to be taken back home?” his father isn’t buying it. There has to be something else.
“Yeah, why shouldn’t I? After all, I had nothing to say anymore,” Arthur says and walks right up to the sofa, feels his way and sits down. The apartment seems quiet. Looks like his 프렌즈 aren’t home. They must have left to have some fun for themselves. Arthur can’t blame them, after all they deserve some quality time 의해 themselves. Arthur has been preoccupied with his own thoughts he hardly heard his father’s words.
“That’s bullshit Arthur!! Why was Elena crying?”
“Huh?” Arthur seems lost. He wasn’t paying attention.
“Why was Elena crying?” his father is patient enough to repeat the question.
“She was?”
“Arthur!!” Uther snaps in frustration.
“I don’t know! How am I supposed to know if she’d been crying 또는 not? In case you’ve forgotten, I’m blind!!” Arthur snaps back. Uther is taken back 의해 Arthur’s sudden outburst and for a second, he stays mum.
Arthur is taken back 의해 his own outburst as well and he hangs his head down in anger. He is frustrated 의해 the way events have unfolded and all he wishes for right now is some peace. Some quiet moment all for him. He doesn’t feel like explaining anything to anyone at the moment, especially to his father. Tomorrow, maybe, but not today. He just hopes his father knows what he needs and leaves him alone.
“What happened, Arthur?” Uther asks softly after noticing how frustrated his son is.
Arthur lifts his head up and sighs. “I know why 당신 brought me there, Father, and whatever your plan was, it’ll never work out… not after what happened today.”
“Care to be 더 많이 precise?”
“I know 당신 think Elena and I are… in 사랑 또는 something like that. But it’s not like that at all. We don’t 사랑 each other and we certainly can’t marry and live happily as 당신 and Godwyn planned. It’ll never work, Father.”
“Did she tell 당신 this?”
“No, I told her.”
“You told her that 당신 don’t 사랑 her?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because that is the truth and she deserves to know how I feel about all this. So I told her how I feel.”
“And how do 당신 feel about Elena, Arthur?”
“She’s my friend and will remain like that…”
“This is ridiculous!! What do 당신 expect me to tell her father, Arthur? He’s expecting me to accept her as my daughter-in-law and I gave him my word. Now 당신 tell me 당신 can’t marry her?” Uther throws his hands in the air and shakes his head. He cannot believe he is listening to all this. Just when everything is working out fine, Arthur is giving him a headache.
“You were supposed to ask me first, Father… this is my life! 당신 can’t just go on and decide my future for me!”
“I can Arthur, don’t 당신 forget that!!”
“This is my life!!” Arthur argues.
“And 당신 are my son!!” Uther snaps back sternly.
“But I’d have to live with her for the rest of my life, Father! I can’t marry one person and 사랑 another!!” Arthur blurts out in anger. Uther opens his mouth to answer but stops abruptly. His eyes widen.
“What did 당신 say?” he asks softly, not believing what he’s just heard. Arthur knows he has broken the lid off his secret and there’s no point in hiding it anymore. Somehow, his father will come to learn about Guinevere, either from him 또는 someone else. Best Arthur tells him himself.
“I… 사랑 someone else,” Arthur says, licking his lips.
“And who is that Arthur?” Uther’s voice changes. Arthur notices this but he keeps his cool.
“Someone I met at the hospital… 당신 wouldn’t know her,” Arthur says.
‘Says who Arthur?’ Uther thinks bitterly to himself. “Really?”
“Look Father, I know…”
“What’s her name?”
“Sorry?”
“What’s her name? She has one, doesn’t she?” Uther asks.
“Guinevere,” Arthur 답변 shortly.
“And how long have 당신 both known each other?”
“A 월 또는 two I suppose… Father, please… I know 당신 must be thinking how I can choose her over Elena. I’m going to tell 당신 exactly what I told Elena. She took it rather poorly and I’m not sure if it will go down well with you. But I will say it anyway. Guinevere… she is different, Father. I have never even seen her, yet I feel like I’ve known her for years. I like the way she treats me, the way we share our laughter, the way we fight… everything about her fills my 심장 with happiness. There isn’t a 일 that goes 의해 without her thoughts filling my mind. I feel her all around me; everything I touch, I sense, I hear and I listen… she’s there. I’m not sure if you’ll understand me, but she completes me. She makes me whole and I like that feeling. I haven’t felt good about myself for a long time, Father but now I do… thanks to her, thanks to Guinevere.”
“And 당신 decide to choose her over Elena?”
“You still don’t understand, do you? I didn’t choose her over Elena, I chose her for herself. Elena is nothing 더 많이 than my friend and will remain as such for as long as I live. It will always be Guinevere Father… she’s all I want in my life”
“What have 당신 done, Arthur?” Uther says and sits down, holding his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry Father… I am sorry to disappoint 당신 but I can never bring myself to accept Elena.”
“WHAT!!!! What are 당신 saying, Arthur? This is…” Uther doesn’t know how to continue. “How can I tell this to…”
“You have to, Father.”
“Do 당신 have any idea what you’re asking me to do, Arthur? Unlike you, my friendship with Godwyn goes back years… it’s an unshakeable bond which binds on trust and respect we have for each other… now, 당신 are asking me to jeopardize all that because 당신 are in 사랑 with some girl?”
“I thought I came first in your life, Father,” Arthur reminds bitterly.
“You do, but so does Godwyn.”
“Then I can’t do anything. My decision is final. I can never marry Elena and I told her that. Whether she accepts it 또는 not, I don’t care. My 심장 belongs to one girl and her name is Guinevere!” Arthur says and gets up.
“Don’t make me do this, Arthur.”
“You have to, Father… I will never accept Elena, no matter how important it is to 당신 and your friend. If 당신 still insist on carrying on with this plan, then I’d have to take matters in my own hands… and it is not something you’d want 또는 like. Oh 의해 the way, I think 당신 have first hand experience in that.”
“Are 당신 threatening me, Arthur?”
“No, just reminding 당신 what I am capable of doing, Father” Arthur says and taps his way to his room.
Uther is gutted but he can’t change Arthur’s mind. He knew that girl will play some role in Arthur’s life but he didn’t expect her to gel herself this deep in his son’s heart. He is confused and angry. His plans have taken a different role, a different path. He thought he can have the final say in Arthur’s life if he gets back in his son’s good 책 but it seems like his son have taken a precautionary step back. Arthur is suspicious of his plans and Uther must be careful to not get himself caught. He almost did just now, but errors like this mustn’t be allowed to happen. It’s too late to correct anything now; Arthur has won the first round. Uther must tread carefully. There is still time and still ways, he must know how to play his cards and Arthur will come back to him. But for the moment, Uther must accept defeat; no matter how humiliating that is.
“Why her, Arthur?” Uther asks, getting up. His eyes were red with anger and his knuckles white. He knows he has been defeated but he still deserves an answer.
“Because I 사랑 her, Father!” Arthur 답변 shortly.
