Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are 프렌즈 live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Remember what I said last episode during the intro? Laugh!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Well, you're certainly making them laugh.
Tom: I hope to keep it that way. Today's crossover parody, Assholes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: That's really what it's called. We're combining Kick 나귀, 엉덩이 with Holes.
Audience: *Clapping*
Assholes
Starring
Tom Foolery as Stanley Yelnats IV
Cosmic 무지개, 레인 보우 as Hector "Zero"
Blaze as David "Dave" Lizewski / Kick 나귀, 엉덩이
Saten Twist as Damon Macready / Big Daddy
Master Sword as Chris D'Amico / Red Mist
Heartsong as Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl
Mortomis as Mr. Sir
Sunny as Louise Walker
Double Scoop as Dr. Pendanski
At Camp Greenlake, Stanley, and Zero were digging holes with other prisoners when...
Mr. Sir: *Bringing 더 많이 prisoners to the hole* See what they're doing?! That's what 당신 need to do in order to build 더 많이 character.
David: I thought 당신 were supposed to draw a character. Not build one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Sir: 당신 assholes get into that hole, 또는 I'll kick your 나귀, 엉덩이 in the asshole.
Audience: *Laughing*
David: Okay.
The new prisoners got in, and introduced themselves.
David: I'm David.
Damon: I'm Damon.
Chris: I'm Chris.
Mindy: I'm Mindy.
Stanley: Pretty generic introductions, but whatever.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hector: What did 당신 get in trouble for?
David: Being superheroes.
Chris: They thought we were pretending.
David: And they didn't like my superhero name.
Stanley: What?
David: Kick ass.
Hector: Do 당신 really kick ass.
David: Do 당신 really wanna find out?
Audience: *Laughing*
Dr. Pendanski: *Arrives* 저기요 Zero, can 당신 remember my name?
Hector: No. I'm leaving. *Runs away*
Damon: What's his problem?
Stanley: He's been getting insulted all of the time, because he doesn't know how to read.
Louise Walker: *Arrives* Where is Zero going?
Dr. Pendanski: I don't know. Who cares about him?
Stanley: I do. I'm going to save him. *Runs off*
Dr. Pendanski: Call in the guards.
David: Not so fast!
Then David, Chris, Damon, and Mindy got into their superhero costumes.
Mr. Sir: Wait a sec! You're not supposed to do that.
Kick Ass: And why not?
Mr. Sir: You're prisoners.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: Not anymore.
Louise Walker: *Sets Big Daddy on fire* Get back to being a hated actor Nicholas Cage.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: I don't know what you're talking about!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: *Punches Louise Walker*
Red Mist: *Kicks Mr. Sir*
Hit Girl: *Shoots Dr. Pendanski*
Kick Ass: What was that for?
Hit Girl: I thought we were supposed to kill them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: This is why female superheroes suck. They're clueless!
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Red Mist: Should we find Stanley, and Zero?
Kick Ass: No. He needs to save Zero, and do whatever it is he does in that movie. We have our own movie to worry about.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the 다음 part of this episode, Sunny tries to hire a cleaning maid for her home.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 거리 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 다음 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 더 많이 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 다음 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 8: Beggers Can't Be Choosers (And Vice Versa)
Sunny: *Watching TV, and hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Mexican Mare: Hola, I am here for the cleaning job.
Sunny: Alright, let's start the interview.
Mexican Mare: No, no. Start it without me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: But you're supposed to be in it. Do 당신 want the job?
Mexican Mare: No, I forgot why I came here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 당신 remind me of somepony from some show I used to watch, but I can't remember.
Mexican Mare: No, I don't remind 당신 of anypony.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, get outta here.
Half an 시간 later.
Sunny: *Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on the PS4* I 사랑 the new first person view for this game. *Hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Annie: *Walks in*
Sunny: *Pauses game* Oh, Annie. How are you?
Annie: I'm good. I heard 당신 needed somepony to help clean, so I decided to come down, and apply for the job.
Sunny: Perfect. I'll start the interview.
Annie: Why interview me? 당신 know almost everything about me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, 당신 got the job.
Audience: *Clapping*
Annie started to clean, while Sunny went back to playing GTA 5.
Sunny: *Flying an airplane*
Annie: *Sees 텔레비전 set, and starts to clean the screen while Sunny plays the game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Can 당신 clean that later? I have to drop off weapons to some ponies.
Annie: Can't 당신 pause the game?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Ugh! *Pauses game. She grabs a 닌텐도 3DS, and starts playing Pokemon*
Annie: *Finishes cleaning television, but starts to clean the 3DS*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: What are 당신 doing?!
Annie: I have to clean your 3DS.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Clean something, that I'm not using. Okay?
Annie: Alright, fine. My god. *Goes to clean the bathroom*
Sunny: Finally. *Continues playing GTA 5*
A flushing noise was heard, but suddenly, water started coming out of the bathroom.
Sunny: What the f**k?!!?
Annie: I think your toilet is clogged!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 당신 know what?! You're fired. 당신 suck at this job.
Annie: What did I do wrong?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 당신 know what? Just drown in there.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Coming up next, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic 무지개, 레인 보우 as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Corporal Agarn was feeling bored, and decided to go see the Captain.
Captain Parmenter: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: I am sick, and tired of the army.
Captain Parmenter: What for?
Corporal Agarn: We're supposed to kill ponies right?
Captain Parmenter: Not necessarily. Only if they try to attack us.
Corporal Agarn: There's no action here! All we do is just stand around, watching for something that isn't even coming towards us, and hope that the 음식 is good. I'm just walking around in a circle, like a doughnut, with 젤리 inside it of course.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: If 당신 were to leave the army, what would 당신 do?
Corporal Agarn: I don't know, but I know for a fact, that I won't have to deal with Dobbs, and his terrible skills with the bugle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Speaking of Dobbs playing his bugle, that's exactly what he was doing.
Corporal Agarn: 당신 see what I'm talking about?!
Captain Parmenter: Okay, so Dobbs is bad at playing at the bugle, but I'm not covinced about the no action thing happening.
Corporal Agarn: The last time somepony attacked us was two years ago.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks into office, and looks at Corporal Agarn* No sign of the enemy Captain!
Corporal Agarn: I'm Corporal Agarn Vanderbilt!
Corporal Vanderbilt: Ooh, Captain, I didn't know 당신 did impressions.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: I'm not impersonating anypony Vanderbilt. I'm over here.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks towards Captain Parmenter, walks into his desk, and falls on the ground*
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Are 당신 alright Vanderbilt?
Vanderbilt: *Stands up* Yep. No sign of the enemy sir. *Walks away, and crashes into the door*
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: 당신 see what I'm talking about here?!
Captain Parmenter: 당신 better talk to the sarge about it.
Corporal Agarn: But you're the commanding officer!
Captain Parmenter: But the sarge is older then I am, and has 더 많이 knowledge on military regulations then I do.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: How does that work out?!
Audience: *Laughing*
So Agarn went to Sargent O' Rourke
Sargent O' Rourke: 당신 can't leave the army. Not after the business we started.
Corporal Agarn: What business?
Sargent O' Rourke: O' Rourke Enterprises. We have so many valuables to sell, that we could be multimillionaires.
Corporal Agarn: What's a multimillionaire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Why don't 당신 stay in the army, and find out?
Corporal Agarn: Okay, I will.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Shoots ground near Corporal Agarn*
Corporal Agarn: What are 당신 trying to do Vanderbilt?
Corporal Vanderbilt: Duffy 스톨, 훔친 my money, and now I'm going to murder him.
Corporal Agarn: That would work, if he was an ant.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the 나팔, 나 팔 poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning 당신 Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash as herself
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I'd like to once again remind our contestants that there are proper bathroom facilities located in the studio.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We have a real 외양간, 헛간 burner on our hooves.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: In the lead, we have 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash with negative $22,400, due to her arrogant behavior.
Audience: *Laughing*
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Hey, who are 당신 calling arrogant?! I happen to be one of the nicest ponies ever!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: In 초 place with negative $46,700 is Tom Selleck.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Holding pen like a microphone* I am a little slow Alex, but I think I will catch up with Double Jeopardy.
Alex: I see you've managed to let most of your money, runaway.
Tom: I'm sorry, what's that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Oh, I'm sorry. I was make a pun to the 제목 of your movie, Runaway.
Tom: I don't know what that is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The movie 당신 were in, Runaway.
Tom: *Continues holding pen like microphone* Oh, haha. Ha, I still don't understand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Sees Tom holding pen like a microphone* That's fine. Oh, and Tom, that is a pen, not a microphone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: And, in last place with negative $69.. Oh brother, Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: Wooo!!! *Clapping*
Alex: *Notices Sean's score* Negative 69? Okay, that's not your score.
Sean: 69 is how I scored with your grand daughter last night.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: Let's just 옮기기 on to the categories for double jeopardy. They are...
Potent Potables
Sounds That 고양이 Make
Twinkle Twinkle Little Blank
Catch These Men
Alex: Every answer is a stallion on the FBI's most wanted list, so let's just forget that category. I'm not sure that would turn out well.
Sean: I turned out your grand daughter last night!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm ignoring you.
Sean: It's a prison term, it means I have her working as a prostitute for a job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm going to pretend I never heard that, and continue on with the rest of the categories for Double Jeopardy.
States That End In Hampshire
What Color Is Green
And Purple Alicorns
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Alex: 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash, let's start with you.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Uh, potent potables, I don't know what that is.
Alex: It's about alcohol.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Then in that case, I'll take potent potables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Surprised* For how much?
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: How about a glass full? Come on, hand it over. I want some cider.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We don't have that.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: I thought so, that's why I brought my own. *Drinking cider*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Great. Fine. Okay, Tom, let's just go with you.
Tom: Well, where are we going?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No-nowhere. Pick a category.
Tom: Okay, I'll take 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For what category?
Tom: Video daily double.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I had such high hopes for you. Let's just do states that end in Hampshire for 200. This is the only state that ends in Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Rings in* South Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Tom: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What is South Hampshire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: *Rings in*
Alex: 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Hampshire England.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no. That's not in the United States.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: *Talks like an australian* I'm sorry govna, please get me 더 많이 cider. Can I have some more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No. Sean The Hedgehog, will 당신 pick a category?
Sean: I'll take Catch The Semen for 800!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: It's not Catch The Semen.
Sean: Is that why your mane is white Trebek?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Tom Selleck, will 당신 pick a category? And he has his hoof stuck in a 간물, 피 클 jar.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Uh, it's on my hoof.
Alex: Where did 당신 get that 간물, 피 클 jar?
Tom: Uh, I wanted a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Tom Tom, let go of it.
Tom: *Grabs pickle, and let's go of jar*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, not the jar. Let go of the pickle.
Tom: But I want a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We can't keep playing if 당신 don't let go of the pickle.
Sean: That's what your grand daughter said last night!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: 당신 know what? 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash, 당신 take the board.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: I am bored. I am bored!
Audience: *Laughing*
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Do ponies actually watch this show?
Alex: Yeah, it's pretty popular, and Tom Selleck is caught in a dry cleaning bag.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Can someone help him?
Tom: *Stuck in bag*
Alex: No one can help him?
Tom: *Gets out of bag, and rings in*
Alex: I didn't ask 당신 anything yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's okay. Give me famous Chinese ponies for 200.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There is no category for chinese ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And there would never be anything that offensive.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Pat Merida?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: First of all, Pat Merida was japanese, not chinese.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Mel Gibson?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Good lord.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just 옮기기 onto final jeopardy. Nonsense words. Just write a series of letters. As long as it's not a word, 당신 will win.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And as I am reasonably certain, that 당신 will get this wrong, I want to get this over with as soon as possible.
The 벨 rang, and everypony ran out of time.
Alex: Let's see what rare gems our contestants have mined today.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash, let's see your nonsense word. Hoda Kotb. That's not a nonsense word. She's the co host of The Today Show.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Kotb? That's a nonsense word. Where's the vowel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And 당신 wagered.. 당신 wagered that you'll be passed out in an hour.
Audience: *Laughing*
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: *Talks with a southern accent* Yer darn tootin partner. I like cowboys.
Alex: Great. Tom Selleck, let's see what 당신 wrote down... Wait, Tom Selleck just disappeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: No, he was never here.
Alex: Yes he was.
Sean: No he wasn't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Alright then, let's see what 당신 wrote down. IOISSSB.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. That is a nonsense word. Judges? Yes, this counts as a nonsense word.
Sean: Well, I thought 당신 could use it friend.
Alex: Well, thank you. Thank 당신 Sean.
Sean: You're welcome.
Alex: Let's see what my friend, Sean wagered.
IOISSSB turned out to be part of a drawing Sean made of himself taking a shit on Alex Trebek's grave.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: If I am looking at that correctly, that is 당신 letting out a number 2 on my grave.
Sean: It was right after I had sex with your grand daughter Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, that's it. Show's over, good night.
Audience: *Clapping*
나귀, 엉덩이 나귀, 엉덩이 Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic 무지개, 레인 보우 as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Idea for this skit 의해 Purrloinedlove.
Mercury was sitting with Marisa at a table.
Mercury: I've been looking 앞으로 to this for a long time Ms. Sayers.
Marisa: Me too.
Mercury: It's about time we got in 침대 together.
Marisa: I agree.
Mercury: And once we get in bed, I'm gonna roast marshmallows, sing campfire songs, and play parcheesi with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: I know. I'm really looking 앞으로 to our camping trip.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lloyd: *Walks over to Mercury*
Marisa: Wait your turn Lloyd.
Lloyd: I came here to get a job from Mercury. I have plenty of time to do the "other" thing here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Alright. This job I have for 당신 maybe confusing.
Lloyd: Surprise me.
Mercury: There's this 조랑말 that has a destroyed house. He prefers to live in it the way it is. Broken windows, chipping paint, and no electricity for watching television.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: 당신 have just surprised me, and I am confused.
Mercury: That's why I'm the best boss around.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd went down into Compton where the 조랑말 living in the destroyed house was located. Some workers were trying to repair the house, but they were getting shot at 의해 the 조랑말 living in the damaged house. He was using an UMP45 SMG.
House Pony: I don't want anypony to repair my house! I am Mr. Fail, and I will not succeed at anything!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: Then let's see if 당신 can fail at life. *Aiming 소총 at Mr. Fail*
Workers: Sir, please let us fix your house.
Mr. Fail: *Shoots 더 많이 workers* I will fail at having my house fixed!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Pulls trigger*
Mr. Fail: *Gets shot*
Lloyd got away before anypony could see him with the gun.
Back at the 나귀, 엉덩이 나귀, 엉덩이 Inn.
Marisa: I know we've been planning this for a long time, but I have to 취소하기 our camping trip.
George: What?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: Your boss Mercury gave me a better deal. I'm sorry, but I could give 당신 a private show for free.
George: Fine 의해 me. What are we watching?
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Walks towards Mercury* Mr. Fail has been assassinated.
Mercury: Excellent. Here's 20 grand. Make it last.
Lloyd: *Takes money* I appreciate it sir. Thank you.
Aina was 글쓰기 down a 크리스마스 list.
Aina: Dear Santa Claus, even though everypony calls this holiday Hearths Warming Eve, I want to remember this as Christmas.
Audience: *Cheering*
Aina: On the 다음 episode of this show, I want everything to be related to Christmas. The crossover parody, a few of the skits, and I want Master Sword, and Tom Foolery to be dressed like 당신 during the intro.
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: As for my presents, I only have one gift that I want, and that is a new set of headphones. I like Dr. Dre's beats, so could I have a pair of those in red? Thanks a lot. Sincerely, Aina.
Master Sword: *Walks in* That's a shitty 크리스마스 list!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Sad* Why?
Master Sword: 당신 need to have 더 많이 then one thing 당신 want for Hearths Warming Eve!
Aina: It's Christmas.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: And you're even trying to change the name of this glorious holiday. What is the matter with you?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Cries, and runs away*
Master Sword: *Writes down his Hearths Warming Eve list* Dear Santa, this letter is from a friend of Aina, but keep in mind that she is an idiot, and has no clue about the true meaning of this holiday.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I want a brand new laptop, a golden watch, a suit with a tie, and hat to go with it, a DVD with the first season of The Streets Of San Franciscolt on it, a box of legos, and a Glock 17.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Smith & Wesson is crap, unless it's a 500, 또는 a .44.
Audience: *Laughing*
After 글쓰기 down his 크리스마스 list, Master Sword went to the nearest mailbox, so he could send his letter to Santa.
Master Sword: *About to put his letter in the mailbox*
Mortomis: *Pops out of the mailbox* Hi there!
Master Sword: AH!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: What are 당신 doing in there?
Mortomis: Playing hide & seek with Tom.
Master Sword: You're not exactly hiding with your head sticking out of there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: I was checking to make sure he was not anywhere near me.
Tom: *Arrives* Found 당신 Mortomis.
Mortomis: *Glaring at Master Sword*
Master Sword: You're not going to do what I think you're going to do... Are you?
Mortomis: 당신 just f**ked up big time! *Dives onto Master Sword*
Tom: *Looks at Audience* Well, so much for no violence.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's all the time we have for today. See 당신 in the 다음 episode.
Audience: *Clapping*
The End
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Remember what I said last episode during the intro? Laugh!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Well, you're certainly making them laugh.
Tom: I hope to keep it that way. Today's crossover parody, Assholes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: That's really what it's called. We're combining Kick 나귀, 엉덩이 with Holes.
Audience: *Clapping*
Assholes
Starring
Tom Foolery as Stanley Yelnats IV
Cosmic 무지개, 레인 보우 as Hector "Zero"
Blaze as David "Dave" Lizewski / Kick 나귀, 엉덩이
Saten Twist as Damon Macready / Big Daddy
Master Sword as Chris D'Amico / Red Mist
Heartsong as Mindy Macready / Hit-Girl
Mortomis as Mr. Sir
Sunny as Louise Walker
Double Scoop as Dr. Pendanski
At Camp Greenlake, Stanley, and Zero were digging holes with other prisoners when...
Mr. Sir: *Bringing 더 많이 prisoners to the hole* See what they're doing?! That's what 당신 need to do in order to build 더 많이 character.
David: I thought 당신 were supposed to draw a character. Not build one.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Sir: 당신 assholes get into that hole, 또는 I'll kick your 나귀, 엉덩이 in the asshole.
Audience: *Laughing*
David: Okay.
The new prisoners got in, and introduced themselves.
David: I'm David.
Damon: I'm Damon.
Chris: I'm Chris.
Mindy: I'm Mindy.
Stanley: Pretty generic introductions, but whatever.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hector: What did 당신 get in trouble for?
David: Being superheroes.
Chris: They thought we were pretending.
David: And they didn't like my superhero name.
Stanley: What?
David: Kick ass.
Hector: Do 당신 really kick ass.
David: Do 당신 really wanna find out?
Audience: *Laughing*
Dr. Pendanski: *Arrives* 저기요 Zero, can 당신 remember my name?
Hector: No. I'm leaving. *Runs away*
Damon: What's his problem?
Stanley: He's been getting insulted all of the time, because he doesn't know how to read.
Louise Walker: *Arrives* Where is Zero going?
Dr. Pendanski: I don't know. Who cares about him?
Stanley: I do. I'm going to save him. *Runs off*
Dr. Pendanski: Call in the guards.
David: Not so fast!
Then David, Chris, Damon, and Mindy got into their superhero costumes.
Mr. Sir: Wait a sec! You're not supposed to do that.
Kick Ass: And why not?
Mr. Sir: You're prisoners.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: Not anymore.
Louise Walker: *Sets Big Daddy on fire* Get back to being a hated actor Nicholas Cage.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Daddy: I don't know what you're talking about!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: *Punches Louise Walker*
Red Mist: *Kicks Mr. Sir*
Hit Girl: *Shoots Dr. Pendanski*
Kick Ass: What was that for?
Hit Girl: I thought we were supposed to kill them.
Audience: *Laughing*
Kick Ass: This is why female superheroes suck. They're clueless!
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Red Mist: Should we find Stanley, and Zero?
Kick Ass: No. He needs to save Zero, and do whatever it is he does in that movie. We have our own movie to worry about.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the 다음 part of this episode, Sunny tries to hire a cleaning maid for her home.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 거리 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 다음 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 더 많이 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 다음 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 8: Beggers Can't Be Choosers (And Vice Versa)
Sunny: *Watching TV, and hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Mexican Mare: Hola, I am here for the cleaning job.
Sunny: Alright, let's start the interview.
Mexican Mare: No, no. Start it without me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: But you're supposed to be in it. Do 당신 want the job?
Mexican Mare: No, I forgot why I came here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 당신 remind me of somepony from some show I used to watch, but I can't remember.
Mexican Mare: No, I don't remind 당신 of anypony.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, get outta here.
Half an 시간 later.
Sunny: *Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on the PS4* I 사랑 the new first person view for this game. *Hears somepony knocking on her door* Come in.
Annie: *Walks in*
Sunny: *Pauses game* Oh, Annie. How are you?
Annie: I'm good. I heard 당신 needed somepony to help clean, so I decided to come down, and apply for the job.
Sunny: Perfect. I'll start the interview.
Annie: Why interview me? 당신 know almost everything about me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Alright, 당신 got the job.
Audience: *Clapping*
Annie started to clean, while Sunny went back to playing GTA 5.
Sunny: *Flying an airplane*
Annie: *Sees 텔레비전 set, and starts to clean the screen while Sunny plays the game*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Can 당신 clean that later? I have to drop off weapons to some ponies.
Annie: Can't 당신 pause the game?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Ugh! *Pauses game. She grabs a 닌텐도 3DS, and starts playing Pokemon*
Annie: *Finishes cleaning television, but starts to clean the 3DS*
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: What are 당신 doing?!
Annie: I have to clean your 3DS.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: Clean something, that I'm not using. Okay?
Annie: Alright, fine. My god. *Goes to clean the bathroom*
Sunny: Finally. *Continues playing GTA 5*
A flushing noise was heard, but suddenly, water started coming out of the bathroom.
Sunny: What the f**k?!!?
Annie: I think your toilet is clogged!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 당신 know what?! You're fired. 당신 suck at this job.
Annie: What did I do wrong?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sunny: 당신 know what? Just drown in there.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Coming up next, it's The Story Of Corporal Agarn
The Story of Corporal Agarn
Theme song
Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn
Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic 무지개, 레인 보우 as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Corporal Agarn was feeling bored, and decided to go see the Captain.
Captain Parmenter: Hello Agarn.
Corporal Agarn: I am sick, and tired of the army.
Captain Parmenter: What for?
Corporal Agarn: We're supposed to kill ponies right?
Captain Parmenter: Not necessarily. Only if they try to attack us.
Corporal Agarn: There's no action here! All we do is just stand around, watching for something that isn't even coming towards us, and hope that the 음식 is good. I'm just walking around in a circle, like a doughnut, with 젤리 inside it of course.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: If 당신 were to leave the army, what would 당신 do?
Corporal Agarn: I don't know, but I know for a fact, that I won't have to deal with Dobbs, and his terrible skills with the bugle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Speaking of Dobbs playing his bugle, that's exactly what he was doing.
Corporal Agarn: 당신 see what I'm talking about?!
Captain Parmenter: Okay, so Dobbs is bad at playing at the bugle, but I'm not covinced about the no action thing happening.
Corporal Agarn: The last time somepony attacked us was two years ago.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks into office, and looks at Corporal Agarn* No sign of the enemy Captain!
Corporal Agarn: I'm Corporal Agarn Vanderbilt!
Corporal Vanderbilt: Ooh, Captain, I didn't know 당신 did impressions.
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: I'm not impersonating anypony Vanderbilt. I'm over here.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Walks towards Captain Parmenter, walks into his desk, and falls on the ground*
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: Are 당신 alright Vanderbilt?
Vanderbilt: *Stands up* Yep. No sign of the enemy sir. *Walks away, and crashes into the door*
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: 당신 see what I'm talking about here?!
Captain Parmenter: 당신 better talk to the sarge about it.
Corporal Agarn: But you're the commanding officer!
Captain Parmenter: But the sarge is older then I am, and has 더 많이 knowledge on military regulations then I do.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: How does that work out?!
Audience: *Laughing*
So Agarn went to Sargent O' Rourke
Sargent O' Rourke: 당신 can't leave the army. Not after the business we started.
Corporal Agarn: What business?
Sargent O' Rourke: O' Rourke Enterprises. We have so many valuables to sell, that we could be multimillionaires.
Corporal Agarn: What's a multimillionaire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: Why don't 당신 stay in the army, and find out?
Corporal Agarn: Okay, I will.
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Shoots ground near Corporal Agarn*
Corporal Agarn: What are 당신 trying to do Vanderbilt?
Corporal Vanderbilt: Duffy 스톨, 훔친 my money, and now I'm going to murder him.
Corporal Agarn: That would work, if he was an ant.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the 나팔, 나 팔 poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning 당신 Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash as herself
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I'd like to once again remind our contestants that there are proper bathroom facilities located in the studio.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We have a real 외양간, 헛간 burner on our hooves.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: In the lead, we have 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash with negative $22,400, due to her arrogant behavior.
Audience: *Laughing*
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Hey, who are 당신 calling arrogant?! I happen to be one of the nicest ponies ever!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: In 초 place with negative $46,700 is Tom Selleck.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: *Holding pen like a microphone* I am a little slow Alex, but I think I will catch up with Double Jeopardy.
Alex: I see you've managed to let most of your money, runaway.
Tom: I'm sorry, what's that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Oh, I'm sorry. I was make a pun to the 제목 of your movie, Runaway.
Tom: I don't know what that is.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The movie 당신 were in, Runaway.
Tom: *Continues holding pen like microphone* Oh, haha. Ha, I still don't understand.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Sees Tom holding pen like a microphone* That's fine. Oh, and Tom, that is a pen, not a microphone.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: And, in last place with negative $69.. Oh brother, Sean the hedgehog.
Audience: Wooo!!! *Clapping*
Alex: *Notices Sean's score* Negative 69? Okay, that's not your score.
Sean: 69 is how I scored with your grand daughter last night.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and cheering*
Alex: Let's just 옮기기 on to the categories for double jeopardy. They are...
Potent Potables
Sounds That 고양이 Make
Twinkle Twinkle Little Blank
Catch These Men
Alex: Every answer is a stallion on the FBI's most wanted list, so let's just forget that category. I'm not sure that would turn out well.
Sean: I turned out your grand daughter last night!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm ignoring you.
Sean: It's a prison term, it means I have her working as a prostitute for a job.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm going to pretend I never heard that, and continue on with the rest of the categories for Double Jeopardy.
States That End In Hampshire
What Color Is Green
And Purple Alicorns
Audience: *Laughing, and cheering*
Alex: 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash, let's start with you.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Uh, potent potables, I don't know what that is.
Alex: It's about alcohol.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Then in that case, I'll take potent potables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Surprised* For how much?
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: How about a glass full? Come on, hand it over. I want some cider.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We don't have that.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: I thought so, that's why I brought my own. *Drinking cider*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Great. Fine. Okay, Tom, let's just go with you.
Tom: Well, where are we going?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No-nowhere. Pick a category.
Tom: Okay, I'll take 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For what category?
Tom: Video daily double.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I had such high hopes for you. Let's just do states that end in Hampshire for 200. This is the only state that ends in Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Rings in* South Hampshire.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No.
Tom: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What is South Hampshire?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: *Rings in*
Alex: 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Hampshire England.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, no. That's not in the United States.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: *Talks like an australian* I'm sorry govna, please get me 더 많이 cider. Can I have some more?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No. Sean The Hedgehog, will 당신 pick a category?
Sean: I'll take Catch The Semen for 800!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: It's not Catch The Semen.
Sean: Is that why your mane is white Trebek?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Tom Selleck, will 당신 pick a category? And he has his hoof stuck in a 간물, 피 클 jar.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Uh, it's on my hoof.
Alex: Where did 당신 get that 간물, 피 클 jar?
Tom: Uh, I wanted a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Tom Tom, let go of it.
Tom: *Grabs pickle, and let's go of jar*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No, not the jar. Let go of the pickle.
Tom: But I want a pickle.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: We can't keep playing if 당신 don't let go of the pickle.
Sean: That's what your grand daughter said last night!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: 당신 know what? 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash, 당신 take the board.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: I am bored. I am bored!
Audience: *Laughing*
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Do ponies actually watch this show?
Alex: Yeah, it's pretty popular, and Tom Selleck is caught in a dry cleaning bag.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: Can someone help him?
Tom: *Stuck in bag*
Alex: No one can help him?
Tom: *Gets out of bag, and rings in*
Alex: I didn't ask 당신 anything yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's okay. Give me famous Chinese ponies for 200.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: There is no category for chinese ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And there would never be anything that offensive.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Pat Merida?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: First of all, Pat Merida was japanese, not chinese.
Tom: *Rings in* Who is Mel Gibson?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Good lord.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just 옮기기 onto final jeopardy. Nonsense words. Just write a series of letters. As long as it's not a word, 당신 will win.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And as I am reasonably certain, that 당신 will get this wrong, I want to get this over with as soon as possible.
The 벨 rang, and everypony ran out of time.
Alex: Let's see what rare gems our contestants have mined today.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash, let's see your nonsense word. Hoda Kotb. That's not a nonsense word. She's the co host of The Today Show.
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: Kotb? That's a nonsense word. Where's the vowel?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And 당신 wagered.. 당신 wagered that you'll be passed out in an hour.
Audience: *Laughing*
무지개, 레인 보우 Dash: *Talks with a southern accent* Yer darn tootin partner. I like cowboys.
Alex: Great. Tom Selleck, let's see what 당신 wrote down... Wait, Tom Selleck just disappeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: No, he was never here.
Alex: Yes he was.
Sean: No he wasn't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Alright then, let's see what 당신 wrote down. IOISSSB.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well. That is a nonsense word. Judges? Yes, this counts as a nonsense word.
Sean: Well, I thought 당신 could use it friend.
Alex: Well, thank you. Thank 당신 Sean.
Sean: You're welcome.
Alex: Let's see what my friend, Sean wagered.
IOISSSB turned out to be part of a drawing Sean made of himself taking a shit on Alex Trebek's grave.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, cheering, and whistling*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: If I am looking at that correctly, that is 당신 letting out a number 2 on my grave.
Sean: It was right after I had sex with your grand daughter Trebek!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, that's it. Show's over, good night.
Audience: *Clapping*
나귀, 엉덩이 나귀, 엉덩이 Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring 무지개, 레인 보우 Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic 무지개, 레인 보우 as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Idea for this skit 의해 Purrloinedlove.
Mercury was sitting with Marisa at a table.
Mercury: I've been looking 앞으로 to this for a long time Ms. Sayers.
Marisa: Me too.
Mercury: It's about time we got in 침대 together.
Marisa: I agree.
Mercury: And once we get in bed, I'm gonna roast marshmallows, sing campfire songs, and play parcheesi with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: I know. I'm really looking 앞으로 to our camping trip.
Audience: *Clapping*
Lloyd: *Walks over to Mercury*
Marisa: Wait your turn Lloyd.
Lloyd: I came here to get a job from Mercury. I have plenty of time to do the "other" thing here.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: Alright. This job I have for 당신 maybe confusing.
Lloyd: Surprise me.
Mercury: There's this 조랑말 that has a destroyed house. He prefers to live in it the way it is. Broken windows, chipping paint, and no electricity for watching television.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: 당신 have just surprised me, and I am confused.
Mercury: That's why I'm the best boss around.
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd went down into Compton where the 조랑말 living in the destroyed house was located. Some workers were trying to repair the house, but they were getting shot at 의해 the 조랑말 living in the damaged house. He was using an UMP45 SMG.
House Pony: I don't want anypony to repair my house! I am Mr. Fail, and I will not succeed at anything!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: Then let's see if 당신 can fail at life. *Aiming 소총 at Mr. Fail*
Workers: Sir, please let us fix your house.
Mr. Fail: *Shoots 더 많이 workers* I will fail at having my house fixed!
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Pulls trigger*
Mr. Fail: *Gets shot*
Lloyd got away before anypony could see him with the gun.
Back at the 나귀, 엉덩이 나귀, 엉덩이 Inn.
Marisa: I know we've been planning this for a long time, but I have to 취소하기 our camping trip.
George: What?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Marisa: Your boss Mercury gave me a better deal. I'm sorry, but I could give 당신 a private show for free.
George: Fine 의해 me. What are we watching?
Audience: *Laughing*
Lloyd: *Walks towards Mercury* Mr. Fail has been assassinated.
Mercury: Excellent. Here's 20 grand. Make it last.
Lloyd: *Takes money* I appreciate it sir. Thank you.
Aina was 글쓰기 down a 크리스마스 list.
Aina: Dear Santa Claus, even though everypony calls this holiday Hearths Warming Eve, I want to remember this as Christmas.
Audience: *Cheering*
Aina: On the 다음 episode of this show, I want everything to be related to Christmas. The crossover parody, a few of the skits, and I want Master Sword, and Tom Foolery to be dressed like 당신 during the intro.
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: As for my presents, I only have one gift that I want, and that is a new set of headphones. I like Dr. Dre's beats, so could I have a pair of those in red? Thanks a lot. Sincerely, Aina.
Master Sword: *Walks in* That's a shitty 크리스마스 list!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Sad* Why?
Master Sword: 당신 need to have 더 많이 then one thing 당신 want for Hearths Warming Eve!
Aina: It's Christmas.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: And you're even trying to change the name of this glorious holiday. What is the matter with you?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Aina: *Cries, and runs away*
Master Sword: *Writes down his Hearths Warming Eve list* Dear Santa, this letter is from a friend of Aina, but keep in mind that she is an idiot, and has no clue about the true meaning of this holiday.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I want a brand new laptop, a golden watch, a suit with a tie, and hat to go with it, a DVD with the first season of The Streets Of San Franciscolt on it, a box of legos, and a Glock 17.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Smith & Wesson is crap, unless it's a 500, 또는 a .44.
Audience: *Laughing*
After 글쓰기 down his 크리스마스 list, Master Sword went to the nearest mailbox, so he could send his letter to Santa.
Master Sword: *About to put his letter in the mailbox*
Mortomis: *Pops out of the mailbox* Hi there!
Master Sword: AH!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: What are 당신 doing in there?
Mortomis: Playing hide & seek with Tom.
Master Sword: You're not exactly hiding with your head sticking out of there.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: I was checking to make sure he was not anywhere near me.
Tom: *Arrives* Found 당신 Mortomis.
Mortomis: *Glaring at Master Sword*
Master Sword: You're not going to do what I think you're going to do... Are you?
Mortomis: 당신 just f**ked up big time! *Dives onto Master Sword*
Tom: *Looks at Audience* Well, so much for no violence.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That's all the time we have for today. See 당신 in the 다음 episode.
Audience: *Clapping*
The End
