Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if 당신 know us then 당신 know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope 당신 guys like it.
Emmett's pov.
"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 분 and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he said chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. 또는 at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I said a bit sharply.
"No.I was getting bored.", he said.
"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I said in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he said a little impatient. " Jeese.", I said again. He sighed. "Alright. So if 당신 can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard 당신 can fart.", I said triumphently. "And how did 당신 come across this?", he said chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he said fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I said sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two 더 많이 just to be on the 안전한, 안전 side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out 또는 당신 won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( 랜덤 letters =fart sounds, the 더 많이 letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I said clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he said laughing again."Let's go practice.", he said eager to learn.
*********
"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to show 당신 something.", we said in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", said rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen 당신 know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't 당신 the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I said irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for 뱀파이어 to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID 당신 EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. 의해 now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least 당신 can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", said Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", said Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", said Alice 더 많이 alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", said Jake. "Then why are 당신 coming closer?", said Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I said still watching." 당신 can't but I can.", said Edward chuckling. 의해 now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are 당신 willing to bet he is going to get his sorry 나귀, 엉덩이 knocked around?", said Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the 다음 minute?", I said. "Your on.", said Edward."Edward aren't 당신 going to go help him?", Bella said worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", Said Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But 당신 Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I said knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." 당신 know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", said Bella. "hey Bella can 당신 go make some 팝콘 this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I said and sat down to enjoy the show just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
Emmett's pov.
"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 분 and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he said chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. 또는 at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I said a bit sharply.
"No.I was getting bored.", he said.
"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I said in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he said a little impatient. " Jeese.", I said again. He sighed. "Alright. So if 당신 can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard 당신 can fart.", I said triumphently. "And how did 당신 come across this?", he said chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he said fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I said sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two 더 많이 just to be on the 안전한, 안전 side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out 또는 당신 won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( 랜덤 letters =fart sounds, the 더 많이 letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I said clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he said laughing again."Let's go practice.", he said eager to learn.
*********
"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to show 당신 something.", we said in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", said rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen 당신 know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't 당신 the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I said irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for 뱀파이어 to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID 당신 EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. 의해 now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least 당신 can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", said Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", said Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", said Alice 더 많이 alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", said Jake. "Then why are 당신 coming closer?", said Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I said still watching." 당신 can't but I can.", said Edward chuckling. 의해 now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are 당신 willing to bet he is going to get his sorry 나귀, 엉덩이 knocked around?", said Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the 다음 minute?", I said. "Your on.", said Edward."Edward aren't 당신 going to go help him?", Bella said worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", Said Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But 당신 Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I said knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." 당신 know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", said Bella. "hey Bella can 당신 go make some 팝콘 this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I said and sat down to enjoy the show just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
Looking Nessie in the face at the airport was harder than a challenge I went through as a wolf.
"Promise 당신 won't forget me?" My voice was kind of shallow and.... I couldn't describe it.
"Never." The defiance in her voice was comforting.
"Even though you'll be in France." France. Bloody miles away.
"Jake, don't do this to me. Rosalie did my make up, and I like it. And anyway, I'll only be away for a few weeks. It'll go very quick." if I continue building the house, then yes. Bt that s unlikely.
"I'll miss you."
"Me too."
I roped an arm round Nessie for a last hug. Then, with her eyes misted over, she left. I walked out to the Rabbit, and all the way I felt like she had taken half my 심장 with her. Renesmee, come back, I silently wished as I started up the old Rabbit. I knew that, for 3 weeks, she would drip into my mind like a leaky faucet. Splash, splash, sploosh. Renesmee, Renesmee, Nessie.
"Promise 당신 won't forget me?" My voice was kind of shallow and.... I couldn't describe it.
"Never." The defiance in her voice was comforting.
"Even though you'll be in France." France. Bloody miles away.
"Jake, don't do this to me. Rosalie did my make up, and I like it. And anyway, I'll only be away for a few weeks. It'll go very quick." if I continue building the house, then yes. Bt that s unlikely.
"I'll miss you."
"Me too."
I roped an arm round Nessie for a last hug. Then, with her eyes misted over, she left. I walked out to the Rabbit, and all the way I felt like she had taken half my 심장 with her. Renesmee, come back, I silently wished as I started up the old Rabbit. I knew that, for 3 weeks, she would drip into my mind like a leaky faucet. Splash, splash, sploosh. Renesmee, Renesmee, Nessie.
Twilighters, 당신 did it! 당신 asked a bazillion times, and now your wish has been granted: Stephenie Meyer has finished Midnight Sun, and will release it this May!
The book is the retelling of Twilight from Edward's golden eyes. So, basically, the most beautiful book ever. And one we're sure to get 로스트 in.
"I've always wanted to finish this book, and the 팬 have been so great, I knew I had to do it for them," the author revealed Tuesday (March 31) at a book signing in Las Bromas, California. "I enjoyed this so much, I'm going to begin work on Full Moon, which is New Moon told through Jacob's perspective."
Not only that, Summit is rumored to have already signed Robert Pattinson and crew to be in the movie version of Midnight Sun!
The book is the retelling of Twilight from Edward's golden eyes. So, basically, the most beautiful book ever. And one we're sure to get 로스트 in.
"I've always wanted to finish this book, and the 팬 have been so great, I knew I had to do it for them," the author revealed Tuesday (March 31) at a book signing in Las Bromas, California. "I enjoyed this so much, I'm going to begin work on Full Moon, which is New Moon told through Jacob's perspective."
Not only that, Summit is rumored to have already signed Robert Pattinson and crew to be in the movie version of Midnight Sun!
Renesme's POV
After hours of weeping, I stopped walked over to my dresser and threw a maroon 재킷, 자 켓 on, I then put my hair up with a rubber-band knowing it would hurt my hair later. I was going to sneak out, I slipped on some 컨버스 and made some recordings on my laptop, So if mom 또는 dad try to come in I would have something recorded. I had 5 recordings set. 1: "No thanks" 2:Go away!" 3: I dont want to talk right now sorry" 4: Im not hungry. 5:I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. It was pretty corny but eh what else can I do? I thought. When i was all done I slipped out my window and jumped to the ground. When I was sure no one was watching I dashed off in the direction of Alice's house.
After hours of weeping, I stopped walked over to my dresser and threw a maroon 재킷, 자 켓 on, I then put my hair up with a rubber-band knowing it would hurt my hair later. I was going to sneak out, I slipped on some 컨버스 and made some recordings on my laptop, So if mom 또는 dad try to come in I would have something recorded. I had 5 recordings set. 1: "No thanks" 2:Go away!" 3: I dont want to talk right now sorry" 4: Im not hungry. 5:I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. It was pretty corny but eh what else can I do? I thought. When i was all done I slipped out my window and jumped to the ground. When I was sure no one was watching I dashed off in the direction of Alice's house.
don't 당신 ever wonder what your life would be like if your boyfriend was a vampire? i do every 일 there are a few things that i know for sure:
1. they will never get old.
even when 당신 are thirty they will still look young.
2. they will never cheat on you.
It is to risky for them to cheat on 당신 because 당신 know there big secrete that they are vampires!
3. they will be able to defend 당신 and protect 당신 for ever.
no one could ever touch 당신 또는 hurt 당신 again he could defend 당신 from all danger.
reads 다음 months for the downsides of having a vampire boyfriend.
1. they will never get old.
even when 당신 are thirty they will still look young.
2. they will never cheat on you.
It is to risky for them to cheat on 당신 because 당신 know there big secrete that they are vampires!
3. they will be able to defend 당신 and protect 당신 for ever.
no one could ever touch 당신 또는 hurt 당신 again he could defend 당신 from all danger.
reads 다음 months for the downsides of having a vampire boyfriend.
