Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if 당신 know us then 당신 know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope 당신 guys like it.
Emmett's pov.
"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 분 and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he said chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. 또는 at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I said a bit sharply.
"No.I was getting bored.", he said.
"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I said in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he said a little impatient. " Jeese.", I said again. He sighed. "Alright. So if 당신 can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard 당신 can fart.", I said triumphently. "And how did 당신 come across this?", he said chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he said fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I said sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two 더 많이 just to be on the 안전한, 안전 side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out 또는 당신 won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( 랜덤 letters =fart sounds, the 더 많이 letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I said clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he said laughing again."Let's go practice.", he said eager to learn.
*********
"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to show 당신 something.", we said in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", said rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen 당신 know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't 당신 the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I said irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for 뱀파이어 to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID 당신 EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. 의해 now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least 당신 can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", said Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", said Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", said Alice 더 많이 alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", said Jake. "Then why are 당신 coming closer?", said Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I said still watching." 당신 can't but I can.", said Edward chuckling. 의해 now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are 당신 willing to bet he is going to get his sorry 나귀, 엉덩이 knocked around?", said Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the 다음 minute?", I said. "Your on.", said Edward."Edward aren't 당신 going to go help him?", Bella said worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", Said Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But 당신 Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I said knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." 당신 know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", said Bella. "hey Bella can 당신 go make some 팝콘 this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I said and sat down to enjoy the show just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
Emmett's pov.
"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 분 and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he said chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. 또는 at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I said a bit sharply.
"No.I was getting bored.", he said.
"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I said in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he said a little impatient. " Jeese.", I said again. He sighed. "Alright. So if 당신 can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard 당신 can fart.", I said triumphently. "And how did 당신 come across this?", he said chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he said fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I said sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two 더 많이 just to be on the 안전한, 안전 side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out 또는 당신 won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( 랜덤 letters =fart sounds, the 더 많이 letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I said clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he said laughing again."Let's go practice.", he said eager to learn.
*********
"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to show 당신 something.", we said in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", said rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen 당신 know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't 당신 the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I said irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for 뱀파이어 to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID 당신 EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. 의해 now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least 당신 can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", said Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", said Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", said Alice 더 많이 alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", said Jake. "Then why are 당신 coming closer?", said Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I said still watching." 당신 can't but I can.", said Edward chuckling. 의해 now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are 당신 willing to bet he is going to get his sorry 나귀, 엉덩이 knocked around?", said Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the 다음 minute?", I said. "Your on.", said Edward."Edward aren't 당신 going to go help him?", Bella said worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", Said Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But 당신 Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I said knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." 당신 know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", said Bella. "hey Bella can 당신 go make some 팝콘 this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I said and sat down to enjoy the show just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
I done me wrong
I done all wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite long
I done all wrong
I done me wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite, quite long
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
If you’re doing wrong
If 당신 done all wrong
당신 can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite long
If 당신 done all wrong
You’re doing wrong
당신 can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite, quite long
All the wrong 당신 done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong 당신 done
Will be undone in song
We’re doing wrong
We all done wrong
If we did no wrong
I’m sure we would be gone
I done all wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite long
I done all wrong
I done me wrong
All the wrong I done
I’m sure to live quite, quite long
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong I done
Will be undone in song
If you’re doing wrong
If 당신 done all wrong
당신 can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite long
If 당신 done all wrong
You’re doing wrong
당신 can rest assure
You’re gonna live quite, quite long
All the wrong 당신 done
Will be undone in song
All the wrong 당신 done
Will be undone in song
We’re doing wrong
We all done wrong
If we did no wrong
I’m sure we would be gone
A tear in my brain
Allows the voices in
They wanna push 당신 off the path
With their frequency wires
And 당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But 당신 don’t feel any better
(In my eyes
In my eyes)
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
당신 wish 당신 felt better
당신 wish 당신 felt better
(In my eyes
A better place)
당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
Allows the voices in
They wanna push 당신 off the path
With their frequency wires
And 당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
A drunken salesman
Your hearing damage
Your mind is restless
They say you’re getting better
But 당신 don’t feel any better
(In my eyes
In my eyes)
Your speakers are blowing
Your ears are wrecking
Your hearing damage
당신 wish 당신 felt better
당신 wish 당신 felt better
(In my eyes
A better place)
당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
당신 can do no wrong
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
In my eyes
Ah, ah, ah ,ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek 당신 out
Flay 당신 alive
One 더 많이 word and 당신 won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through 당신 any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for 당신 to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for 당신 to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
I seek 당신 out
Flay 당신 alive
One 더 많이 word and 당신 won’t survive
And I’m not scared of your stolen power
See right through 당신 any hour
I won’t soothe your pain
I won’t ease your strain
You’ll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for 당신 to gain
I’m taking it slow
Feeding my flame
Shuffling the cards of your game
And just in time
In the right place
Suddenly I will play my ace
I won’t soothe your pain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I won’t ease your strain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
You’ll be waiting in vain
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I got nothing for 당신 to gain
Eyes on fire
Your spine is ablaze
Felling any foe with my gaze
And just in time
In the right place
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
Aaaaahhhhh
Felling any foe with my gaze
Aaaaahhhhh
Steadily emerging with grace
The 시간 has begun
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my 사랑 always
Your window’s opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my 사랑 always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my 사랑 always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Yeah I tremble for 당신 사랑 always
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my 사랑 always
Your window’s opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my 사랑 always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Oh I tremble for my 사랑 always
It’s a world where madness craves
It’s a world where hope’s enslaved
Yeah I tremble for 당신 사랑 always
When the thorn 부시, 부시 대통령은 turns white that’s when I’ll come home
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back 집 with me
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As 당신 watch me wander, curse the powers that be
‘Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long
Far, far away, no voices sounding
No one around me and you’re still there
Far, far away, no choices passing
No time confounds me and you’re still there
In the full moon’s light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear 당신 calling me
But I don’t know where I am
And I don’t trust who I’ve been
But if I come 집 how will I ever leave
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don’t know where I’ll go
And I don’t know what I’ll see
But I’ll try not to bring it back 집 with me
Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me
As 당신 watch me wander, curse the powers that be
‘Cause all I want is here and now
But it’s already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long
Far, far away, no voices sounding
No one around me and you’re still there
Far, far away, no choices passing
No time confounds me and you’re still there
In the full moon’s light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear 당신 calling me
But I don’t know where I am
And I don’t trust who I’ve been
But if I come 집 how will I ever leave
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little 더 많이 fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, 또는 Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do 당신 think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
Breaking Dawn may have been a smash hit with Twihards all over the world, but the Golden 산딸기, 라즈베리 foundation was impressed for a different reason.
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little 더 많이 fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, 또는 Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do 당신 think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
They've nominated the flick for 8 of their Razzie awards, which are like the Oscars but for the "worsts" of the year, so they're a little 더 많이 fun.
Breaking Dawn was nominated for:
•Worst Picture
•Worst Screenplay
•Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, 또는 Sequel
•Worst Director
•Worst Screen Ensemble
•Worst Actor: Taylor Lautner
•Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart
•Worst Screen Couple
Do 당신 think Breaking Dawn deserves the nominations?
All right guys, as 당신 all have probably noticed my last chapter was a bit of a dozer, but don't worry my 다음 chapter will be right. And just incase that 당신 have not figured it out yet. Most was the chapter is correct except for the bit about going into the car. That bit will be coming up in the 다음 chapter. Also don't be afraid to give me any 조언 on how I can make my 글쓰기 Better any critasim is welcome.
On another note this whole story will only be 벨 as ok and I will be doing other stories that will be like this one but indifferent povs
SOS
사랑 flynnismine
On another note this whole story will only be 벨 as ok and I will be doing other stories that will be like this one but indifferent povs
SOS
사랑 flynnismine