NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President 또는 Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a 년 plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

The 보드카 Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage 토론 Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status 업데이트 Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...

I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether 또는 not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, 초 of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...

1. Everytime your reach a new floor, scream "Glory hallelujah! We will reach the promised land!!!"

2. Interrogate people as if 당신 worked for the FBI.

3. Make wild turkey noises and when people tell 당신 to stop, say "You have no respect for animal rights, do you?"

4. Sing your 가장 좋아하는 song and when people get annoyed, sing louder.

5. Follow 랜덤 people off and tell them what to buy every 분 또는 so. If 당신 get in trouble, say 당신 were helping the person make educated choices.

6. Press every button, and try and get off, then, speak into your 칼라 and say, "Houston, we have a problem, floor#__...

1. Take someone's shopping 카트 and switch the items with stuff from the person 다음 to them's 카트
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen 당신 in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of 당신 on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. 옮기기 "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....

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When 당신 are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When 당신 are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When 당신 are dating..... He takes 당신 out to have a good time.
When 당신 are married ....He brings 집 a 6 pack, and says "What are 당신 going to drink?"

When 당신 are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When 당신 are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When 당신 are dating..... A Single 침대 for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When 당신 are married ....A King size 침대 feels like an army cot.

When 당신 are dating..... 당신 are turned on at the sight of him naked....

Hi, 팬팝 friends. These are some 랜덤 bits of trivia about me.

* I think 아니메 is the best.

* I'm a nerd when it comes to Batman.

* My 가장 좋아하는 holiday is Christmas.

* I have nostalgia for what Cartoon Network was like in the 1990s and 2000s.

* My 가장 좋아하는 actor/singer is Tony Jay.

* My 가장 좋아하는 actress is Emily Blunt.

* I'm a writer. I've been 글쓰기 regularly since I was a teenager. I started off as a comedic writer, before becoming obsessed with 글쓰기 romantic stories.

* I'm not a 팬 of horror films and I only like a small amount of documentaries. My 가장 좋아하는 film genres include animation,...

Man, the fighting game community is lame. They make fun of Super Smash Bros Melee all the time, all they care about is some guy from an old fighting game called Fatal Furry, and they never shut up about the Arks System. Why would anyone care? What is this dumb indie game? Divekick? Sounds like a dumb move. Where’s the true indie game title, Up+Smash? That’s all I care about!- Where am I going with this joke again?



Divekick, an indie 제목 made 의해 fighting game 팬 for fighting game fans. And people who buy weird indie games cause they have dumb internet web series. What a coincidence....

So, I had a sudden wave of motivation to write this after watching a Simpsons episode of all things. Though, this is actually based on an episode of The Twilight Zone, dubbed as "Time Enough at Last."

It's my personal 가장 좋아하는 episode of the show, starring our main character Henry Bemis as his miserable life changes from what it used to be.

No other context will be given here, as I want others to try and piece it all together...Or just interpret the poem their own way, that's always fun.

I hope 당신 all enjoy, as I worked quite hard on it!



Timber after sapling, the atmosphere stays the same.
The...

#1: LIAM NEESON:
I know.. Liam is a cliche, he's tired of it.
He's always saving people in a very similar formula.
But.. He's still LIAM NEESON.
This guy can read a book too children, and it would be the coolest sight ever..

#2: MARK WAHLBERG:
The Happening.. Oh the Happening.. 당신 really must of been fucking AWFUL if your able too get a bad performance out of Marky-Mark Wahlberg..
I actually like him 더 많이 in 영화 like TED.. Mark has a certain charm that he brings into the performance..
But hey, watch SHOOTER and LONG SURVIVER to see him kicking ass*. He doesn't really have any real TypeCast.....

I hear Trump is president now.. No wonder comedy centre was roasting him.. So.. The one thing I learned from the Roast is that if your looking for a Donald Trump joke.. Pick one of these

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Snoop Dogg: Now he's talking about running for President. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time he kicked a black family out of their house.


Seth MacFarlane: 의해 the way, Donald, it's pronounced "huge," not "eyuge". Also, it's pronounced "I am fucking delusional," not "I am running for President."


Jeffrey Ross: And now you’re going to run for...

This 기사 is about honoring Clay Martin Croker, better known as C. Martin Croker.

In 2016 the very talented C. Martin Croker died. Most people don't know who he is so here's a summary of his impressive career:

In the 1990's C. Martin Croker started his t.v. career on 우주 Ghost Coast to Coast. C. Martin Croker was 1 of the animators. He's 1 of the show's 2 main voice actors. The show had 3 main characters: 우주 Ghost, Zorak, and Molar. George Lowe voiced 우주 Ghost and C. Martin Croker voiced Zorak and Moltar. C. Martin Croker also voiced Zorak in Cartoon Planet and The Brak Show.

In the...

Over decades and decades and decades...and 더 많이 decades, literature has produced so many kinds of villains, I thought I'd pick out a few types I commonly see and explain them. Some of these kind of go hand in hand. "Yo zanhar, there's a site called TV Tropes for this!" Shhhh, it's okay Imma type anyways just to defy you. (Am I a villain yet?)

The Pure Evil

As implied these guys are the ones who are evil through and through. No sympathetic background, no redeeming qualities, hell this person 또는 being doesn't even think he/she is doing the right thing. In fact depending on the villain, he/she knows...

Chapter 2

it was the 다음 day. Flippy decided to go to the bookstore. What harm could he do there? all they had there were books. As he was walking there he noticed that people weren't staring at him 또는 연기 nervous. He even walked strait 의해 a cop and they did nothing. Everybody had already forgotten. When Flippy entered the bookstore he was thankful at how peaceful it was. Nothing to flip him out. Flippy sighed with relief and sat down. He looked around and noticed much 더 많이 people there. Sniffles was 읽기 a book about science right 다음 to him and 피튜니아 was 읽기 about gardening....

Legacy of flippy

It was late at night, Flippy and the other 나무, 트리 프렌즈 were at a party thrown 의해 Disco Bear. Disco 곰 was trying to impress girls, and like always he was failing miserably. Nutty was eating all the sweets. Everything was going well until Mime started showing off with the balloons. He was trying to make tons of things with tons of balloons and they all popped, making a huge noise which sounded like a gunshot which made Flippy go insane. He dropped to the floor and stood back up with yellow eyes. At first, nobody seemed worried. Then Flippy pulled out his 칼, 나이프 and ambushed...

Me and Henry were running to the 나무, 트리 house.I got out my phone and dialed nine-one-one.
"Nine-one-one what's 당신 emergency?"A lady said.
"Hello.Me and my 프렌즈 found a woman in the forest,she looks like she was stabbed!God,please help!Please!"I begged.
"Okay ma'am.Where did 당신 find her?"The lady asked.
"In the forest 다음 to Flint Road!"I answered.
"Is someone with her?"She asked.
"Yes,my friend,Sarah.Oh God,when are they coming?"I asked as a I heard a moan.
"They're coming right away!Honey,go find your friend and the lady and wait in the forest,we're coming Hun."She said in a sweet voice.
"Okay,Come...