This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern 일 issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). 사랑 또는 hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years 이전 were blacks given the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married 또는 adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube 또는 in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, 또는 in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in 사랑 should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no 더 많이 discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of 조언 is welcome, as long as 당신 aren't telling me to jump off a cliff 또는 anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). 사랑 또는 hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.
A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years 이전 were blacks given the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination against gays, because there is a lack of separation between government and the church. In most states, gays aren’t allowed to get married 또는 adopt, because according to The Bible, homosexuality is a sin (The Bible also states that it’s okay to stone children, but people seem to overlook that). If people believe this, that’s acceptable. However, their beliefs shouldn’t mix with government laws. The government should stay out of citizens’ private lives, and let them do what they want without harming anyone, such as have a gay marriage.
One solution I propose is that marriage should be altogether banned. No one in America will be allowed to be wedded. There will be no long-term commitments, and couples aren’t allowed to live with each other. This way, no one will be complaining about gay marriage because all marriage will be outlawed.
This is a great solution, because there will be no arguments on who can marry. Also, divorce rates will drop significantly and we won’t always have to hear about celebrity weddings and divorces on the boob tube 또는 in gossip magazines. Another positive outcome is that people won’t have to waste so much money on weddings. People spend thousands, 또는 in some cases, millions (Kardashian wedding) on those ceremonies. It is all a waste, because many people are too drunk to remember any of it and most of those marriages end in divorces these days anyway. So prohibiting marriage would save a lot of time and money.
You may argue that this is wrong and that two people in 사랑 should be able to form this special bond, but banning it is the only logical option, because just allowing gays to get married is too obvious and simple for us Americans. We must go to extreme measures to get the point across.
In conclusion, this proposal is reasonable and beneficial for everyone. There will be no 더 많이 discrimination on who is allowed to marry, divorce rates will decrease, and it allows us to save thousands of dollars. In the end, it is the most rational solution.
The end.
If there are any grammar errors in there, please tell me. English/grammar have never been my strong subjects, and any sort of 조언 is welcome, as long as 당신 aren't telling me to jump off a cliff 또는 anything for offending your sensitive self. I don't think it was that offensive.
Dear President Obama;
Hello. I am speaking on behalf of the Solicitous And Rude Citizens Asininely Seeking Metamorphosis. We here at SARCASM have but two humble goals: coming up with a new acronym that makes actual sense, and to cure the affliction that has been persistent in killing off millions of people since the dawn of time, or, unless we are mistaken, the late 60’s—death. According to the statistics gathered 의해 our diligent team of sea turtles, 98.54 people are diagnosed with death every 2 초 (if we had one apple, and one of our sea turtles found three others, this is how many apples we would have.) We ask a simple favor from the depths of your all knowing wisdom and possibly robotic chest. Mr. President, with the help of the laser that we believe to be stored within your chest, we could save millions. As one Bob the Builder once said, “Yes we can.” Mr. Obama, we call 당신 forth.
Hoping 당신 are well,
SARCASM
Please sign your name below.
Hello. I am speaking on behalf of the Solicitous And Rude Citizens Asininely Seeking Metamorphosis. We here at SARCASM have but two humble goals: coming up with a new acronym that makes actual sense, and to cure the affliction that has been persistent in killing off millions of people since the dawn of time, or, unless we are mistaken, the late 60’s—death. According to the statistics gathered 의해 our diligent team of sea turtles, 98.54 people are diagnosed with death every 2 초 (if we had one apple, and one of our sea turtles found three others, this is how many apples we would have.) We ask a simple favor from the depths of your all knowing wisdom and possibly robotic chest. Mr. President, with the help of the laser that we believe to be stored within your chest, we could save millions. As one Bob the Builder once said, “Yes we can.” Mr. Obama, we call 당신 forth.
Hoping 당신 are well,
SARCASM
Please sign your name below.
1.Einstein was four years old before he could speak.
2.Issac Newton did poorly in grade school.
3.Beethoven's 음악 teacher once said of him,"As a composer,he is hopeless."
4.When Thomas Edison was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything.
5.Michael Jordan was cut from his high school 농구 team.Boston Celtics Hall of Famers Bob Cousy and Bill Russel suffered the same fate.
5.A newspaper editor fired Walt 디즈니 because he had no good ideas.
6.Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade.
7.Steven Spielberg dropped out of high school in his sophomore year. He was persuaded to come back and placed in a learning disabled class. He lasted a 월 and dropped out forever.
2.Issac Newton did poorly in grade school.
3.Beethoven's 음악 teacher once said of him,"As a composer,he is hopeless."
4.When Thomas Edison was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything.
5.Michael Jordan was cut from his high school 농구 team.Boston Celtics Hall of Famers Bob Cousy and Bill Russel suffered the same fate.
5.A newspaper editor fired Walt 디즈니 because he had no good ideas.
6.Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade.
7.Steven Spielberg dropped out of high school in his sophomore year. He was persuaded to come back and placed in a learning disabled class. He lasted a 월 and dropped out forever.
There are immortal stories on 연인들 and immortal 인용구 on love. Even in the stories that ended in tragedy, 사랑 has never failed but only the 연인들 have. They stand evergreen and are suitable for all ages of time, whatever is the advancement in technology and science. They are suitable.
