On the 21st of June 2007, my best friend killed himself. He shot himself in the head after suffering from depression for what he said was 'as long as i can remember'. I'd known the guy from when i was three and i miss him like the devil. He was called Joe Spencer Garrard. But for the last few years he dropped the spencer bit, (his bastard dads name). I grew up with the guy and was with him on the last day. Hence i feel almightly responcible, and i know people have told me there is nothing i could have done but i do. As we grew up together we used to play out in the woods alot, Joe was an out door person, he liked to mess around, we both did. But since he died i feel like my childhood is over and i must grow up. =[ So faithful 팬팝 friends, my guts are on display to 당신 lovely lot.
i am 로스트 and every 일 a part of me wants to not be alive anymore, I have tryed talking to people on Suicide fourums, people who have all expirienced things like this but it just feels like they are regurgitating the same stuff from person to person, im seeing a shrink (docter) about my depression but i wont go on Meds.
I don't know what 조언 im looking for i suppose what can i do? i just need to vent and if anyone has anything to say, 또는 advise feel welcome don't feel sheepish, ask about Joe if 당신 want to i want to talk about him =]
added on Jan11: just found the ulagy that i said at Joes cremation. Joes mum came and hugged me on the podium after i had finished. I was choked with tears but its just something i thought i'd put up
" Joe was my best friend.I've known him for 13 years and he meant the world to me. When anyone talks about him I think of stupid ideas, stupid risks and the inevitable consequences. He was a person who didn't have to try and impress others, he could naturally do it.
I feel Joe made his peace with the world and that makes me happy, to know he wasn't angry at the end. I find it impossible to say how i feel about Joe. The words soulmate 또는 kindred spirits don't seem to describe what we had. We grew up together; we shared plans for the future and memories from the past. Anyone that has that with another should cherish it because it can be taken from 당신 so suddenly like it was for me and Joe.
I 사랑 Joe, so much and I hope he is in a better place now."
i am 로스트 and every 일 a part of me wants to not be alive anymore, I have tryed talking to people on Suicide fourums, people who have all expirienced things like this but it just feels like they are regurgitating the same stuff from person to person, im seeing a shrink (docter) about my depression but i wont go on Meds.
I don't know what 조언 im looking for i suppose what can i do? i just need to vent and if anyone has anything to say, 또는 advise feel welcome don't feel sheepish, ask about Joe if 당신 want to i want to talk about him =]
added on Jan11: just found the ulagy that i said at Joes cremation. Joes mum came and hugged me on the podium after i had finished. I was choked with tears but its just something i thought i'd put up
" Joe was my best friend.I've known him for 13 years and he meant the world to me. When anyone talks about him I think of stupid ideas, stupid risks and the inevitable consequences. He was a person who didn't have to try and impress others, he could naturally do it.
I feel Joe made his peace with the world and that makes me happy, to know he wasn't angry at the end. I find it impossible to say how i feel about Joe. The words soulmate 또는 kindred spirits don't seem to describe what we had. We grew up together; we shared plans for the future and memories from the past. Anyone that has that with another should cherish it because it can be taken from 당신 so suddenly like it was for me and Joe.
I 사랑 Joe, so much and I hope he is in a better place now."
Many people feel that 사랑 hurts...that it's only gonna bring pain and sadness. But to tell 당신 the truth...love won't do that. 사랑 is when everything is perfect and no matter how bad your 일 is 당신 still find a reason to smile because 당신 feel like 당신 have the most amazing person in your life. Yeah 당신 may be going through some problems in this relationship but let me tell 당신 something...Love conquers all. No matter how bad the situation is 당신 can get through it together. Don't let a silly little argument 또는 what anyone says about your relationship go in front of your judgement on your own relationship. And I'm going to give 조언 to those people who 로스트 someone and sees that person with someone else...Listen if 당신 truly loved them 당신 would let them be happy with whoever. Don't interfere. 당신 will be happy and so will they. And plus it will give 당신 peace at mind. Dream Big. 사랑 Forever. Live like today is your last day
my problem is that my parents don't understand me well , and I don't see my bigger sister
i have a little sister , but i can't relate to her , and i have an older brother who helps me a lot but not enough.
i'm always depressed and i just listen to music all the time , actually music helps me a lot to express my anger , sadness , happiness .
i really Love Avril Lavigne because she is the only person who helped me in hard time , her music is so inspiring And meaningful .
and then , i have you fanpop users , you are my only family , my only friends , and my only hope.
so , please tell me what can i do to get rid of the negativity .
Thanks for your time,
Tamara