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posted by emmett
*I did not write this*
Dear Diary,

So today was like any other day. Almost killing every human who starts to smell too good, toying with people’s emotions and kicking Emmett’s butt at chess. 당신 know same old, same old.

Though, today was exceptionally hilarious. I was playing a game of chess with Emmett, with 9 boards, and I was winning, naturally. So because I was winning Emmett got all upset and broke my all time fav chess piece, the little night on his little horse. God I was mad about that, he knew it was my fav and he had to go and kill it! So I went and did something a LOT worse! Haha it was so funny, I actually made Emmett think he was in 사랑 with Edward! Yeah I know I am truly evil! MWAHAHA!!! He was carrying around one of Edward’s shirts and just mumbling “oh my sweet, sweet Eddie-kin, when will 당신 come 집 to me?” God, it was the funniest thing I have ever seen! I mean have 당신 ever seen a grown man carrying around his brother’s 셔츠 and looking hopelessly lost? It is so funny!!!

So yeah, other than that I went shopping with Alice today before my game of chess with Emmett, and OH MY GOSH I got the cutest pair of shoes that I have ever seen!

....

Oh...

My...

God...

I’VE BEEN WHIPPED!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *sobs to himself for a while then regains composer*

... I think I’m okay now. So... Umm, like I was saying... Yeah I went shopping with Alice today. It was alright, kinda boring...

Okay, so Alice talked to me about the whole making Emmett fall in 사랑 with Edward thing. She said it was a bad idea, but didn’t/wouldn’t tell me why. So naturally I’m going to do it anyway, just because I’m morbidly curious and evil! MWAHAHA!!!

Also, I think I might go hunting with Nessie... Nah I want to see how long I can keep this whole, Emmett-is-obsessed-with-Edward, thing going. It can only get better, of that I’m sure HAHA! I could make Edward feel that way about Emmett haha!! Oh 또는 better yet! Make him feel that way about his piano! HAHA I am so doing that!

This is going to be FUN! I will let 당신 know how it all turns out 다음 time I talk to yeah D.
~Jasper
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