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posted by kitty190123
1. Sing the 배트맨 theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 프렌즈 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If 당신 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours 의해 hooking a 캠코더 to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal 의해 conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what 당신 think."

17. Claim that 당신 must always wear a bicycle 헬멧 as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors 당신 are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip 권총, 홀스터, 권총 집 for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying 더 많이 any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over 의해 clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink 탄약통, 카트리지 across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler 랜덤 numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that 당신 "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for 랜덤 times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train 다음 Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly 당신 can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five 분 before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints 의해 the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of 주황색, 오렌지 traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in 랜덤 spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone 당신 meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do 당신 hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address 당신 as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When 크리스마스 caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, 배트맨 smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's 쥐, 마우스 is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture 의해 tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that 당신 don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" 또는 the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your 크리스마스 lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra 좌석 for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a 시 recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their 답변 in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim 당신 can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying 랜덤 things until u cry laughing
5. continue 읽기 this
6. Walk up to siblings and say 랜덤 things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on 페이스북 and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on 구글 look up 어치, 제이 leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add 랜덤 people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
Are 당신 addicted? Are 당신 a super fan? Are 당신 just a person who likes being enthusiastic about things? Are 당신 on 팬팝 too much?

1. 당신 see something 당신 like, and think Oh, I want to 팬 that club!

2. 당신 start shipping people 당신 know 또는 see.

3. 당신 hear something awesome and immediately look for the Best Answer button.

4. 당신 hear something awesome and immediately want to go on 팬팝 and change your motto.

5. 당신 hear something and 당신 want to 코멘트 on it.

6. 당신 have great ideas of something 당신 should post on 팬팝 at completely 랜덤 times of day.

7. 당신 get a new 가장 좋아하는 and HAVE to...
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posted by kitkat709477
"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."
"Will 당신 marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my room mates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no 더 많이 땅콩 butter."
"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and 당신 have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea...
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okay, on my 5 completely 랜덤 things to do...

5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as 당신 can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as 당신 can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)

i recommend 당신 try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
posted by 3nala
3nala said:
"Yo whazzup mah homiehs?"

{screams something incoherent about peanut butter}

"I like waffles with peanut butter."

{is bored}



{screams something incoherent about dynamite and bananas}

"Oh well..."

{screams something completely incoherent}

"Ooh look at teh pretty birdses..."



{starts humming to the tune of 'U Can't Touch This'}

{Stares down a digital picture of GIR, then screams something incoherent about tacos}

"How did pig tracks get on the ceiling?"

{sings 'Spider-Pig'}

{Screams something incoherent about exploding squirrels}

"I told the man I was innocent, but the gun in my...
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Don't cheat! :) DO NOT CHEAT 또는 IT WON'T WORK AND 당신 WILL WISH 당신 HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES! TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK 당신 OUT. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT'S WORTH A TRY. 1st. Get a PEN and PAPER. 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT 당신 ACTUALLY KNOW. 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON'T READ AHEAD otherwise 당신 WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. ~ 2. 다음 to the NUMBERS 1 and 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS 당신 WANT. ~ 3....
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The 상단, 맨 위로 six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as 당신 have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command 또는 File Name" is about as informative as

"If 당신 don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as 당신 make a commitment to one, 당신 find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
posted by kitkat709477
1.everyone around 당신 has an attitude problem
2.your adding 초콜릿 chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything 당신 say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive 당신 crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and 당신 just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to 펀치 someone without a reason
12.if 당신 start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if 당신 were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give 당신 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so 당신 know*
posted by HNismyfriend
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a 메리다와 마법의 숲 who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This 메리다와 마법의 숲 had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved,...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that 당신 just wanna 펀치 in the face , then someohow , 당신 end up in a relationship with them , 당신 fall in 사랑 , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing 당신 want to burn either (:]) Well if 당신 still have feelings for that person im gonna help 당신 get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap 당신 guys (: , ohk so 당신 could first start off 의해 doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave 당신 on 불, 화재 ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be given LIFE in prison without the possibility 또는 parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet 파이썬 refused to eat it was given three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD showing Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the 파이썬 in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the 파이썬 failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf 또는 date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the 다음 time.....thank u all for 읽기 this..and plz 코멘트 ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think 또는 relate to these, in some way 또는 another:

-When 당신 forget someone's name 당신 wait for someone else to say it so 당신 don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't 삭제 my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and 당신 are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are 당신 kidding me?' even though 당신 know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when 당신 grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when 당신 cheat,we hate 당신 and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like 당신 understand PMS,because 당신 dont.So stop 연기 like it.

4.when 당신 stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and 당신 get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So 당신 may as well stfu.

5.when 당신 flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if 당신 arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like 당신 dont care.We want...
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1)Devise a secret code with your 프렌즈 then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask 질문 so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s 질문 in slow motion 2)Answer 질문 only with one word
3)Scream 랜덤 words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” 또는 “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer 질문 in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If 당신 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal 의해 conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what 당신 think."

7. Claim that 당신 must always wear a bicycle 헬멧 as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway 당신 never take, 또는 teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from 로스트 to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see 당신 crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person 또는 kindly...
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Like the 제목 says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My 프렌즈 said that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
:)
:)
:)
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:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to 아니메 and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley 당신 remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex 당신 remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did 당신 get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have 당신 know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few 초 later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating 당신 this way and 당신 know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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