A good start to a rough draft?

The apocalypse wasn't caused 의해 zombies. Everyone thinks it was. But no. No one actually knows what happened. All we know is something big and hot, like a smaller version of the sun, hit earth, and caused a power plant to fall. The little sun, which we now call the Sunzol, combined with the chemicals in the power plant, which caused a strange reaction. After that, eight pipes were 스플릿, 분할 apart, all combining with different natural resources, which created new blood, and of course, the natural red blood. Now, after this, the blood combined with some live 동물 who somehow survived. Then, the evolution began.

더 많이 and 더 많이 humans were being born, being taken care 의해 animals. I don't know how it worked, but it did. Now, were living our past apocalypse life, repairing the world. Only one thing.
당신 don't know your blood color.

It's true. Once you're ready, you're ready. No age matters. Only the test does. Which 당신 take every year, only once, to see if 당신 really are ready. I remember my brother, only fifteen, figuring it out. I know it's not something as someone controlling your life, but once 당신 find your blood color, you're moved to your category, to live your life freely. Just only with the people of your blood color.

When my brother found out, he couldn't live with our parents anymore, but he can visit anytime he gets the money. The thing is, once 당신 find your blood color, you're not allowed to live with other bloods. It's always been a fear that if we are all brought together, a new war will rise, and the apocalypse will once again destroy our world, and we would no longer live, nor reproduce. So we are separated, to live with our own, and not the others.
If 당신 are ready when 당신 are still attending school, 당신 are put into a school with dorms, to be taught and live with other kids the same blood with you. As they king says, it keeps us calmer, and safer. Personally, I don't think so. But I couldn't say that.

Yet.

~

 CrystalNeons posted over a year ago
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랜덤 답변

metrolight said:
It's good.
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posted over a year ago 
Book-Freak said:
It's a good rough draft! I really like the idea and there is a lot of suspense so I'd really like to read on further. The only negative I can see is some of the punctuation: some of the sentences are a little start-stop, so I'd replace some of the full stops with commas, colons (full and semi) and ellipsis.
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posted over a year ago 
prussiaducky said:
Okay, going tbh, it is a good comcept but the structure is very poor.

Is this for school, 또는 is this a fun project for yourself?

Please send it to najmachan@gmail.com so i can give 당신 a peer edit. Only when 당신 are confident and done.
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posted over a year ago 
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