I write a lot, and a girl asked for a poem. I had to write this in like 2 minutes, from what ever sprouted from my head, so I want to know, is it good?

In silvery mist, a shape appears.
A lonely woman,
Her face wet with tears.
She moves gracefully, without a sound,
Blonde hair framing her face,
The tendrils very long, sweeping the ground.
She sings a song, her notes curling through thin air.
One hand bouncing to a slow rhythm,
She sings and croons, her voice so soft that its barely there.
As she walks, 당신 fall in love.
She is so perfect, beautiful,
Her skin seeming so soft, its like the feathers of a dove.
당신 miss the dead dullness in her eyes,
The sinister smirk,
The evil she attempts to disguise.
When she asks 당신 for a favor, 당신 concede.
Without knowing what 당신 are doing, 당신 walk forward.
당신 amble out into the thick weeds.
Her 노래 continues, her voice so silky smooth.
당신 continue to walk, to jog, to run,
Until 당신 cannot, 당신 have to move.
당신 hear her words ringing through your head,
"Its okay, go jump."
Those are the perfect words she sang and said.
당신 see the end of the field, the edge of the cliff.
And as you're running, 당신 want to halt.
She reach the edge, your face going stiff,
And 당신 leap into the rocks below,
Shouting to the sky,
Screaming as loud as your death cry will go.